Employee Evaluations

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Employee Evaluations
AbuKhaled
08/22/00 at 13:57:57
Employee Evaluations - come on let's work


These individual quotes were reportedly taken from
actual Employee Performance Evaluations.

(1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

(2) "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

(3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."

(4) "This employee is really not so much of a
has-been, but more of a definite won't-be."

(5) "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

(6) "When she opens her mouth it seems like it is only to change feet."

(7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot
puddle."

(8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

(9) "He sets low personal standards and then
consistently fails to achieve them."

(10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

(11) "This employee will go far and the sooner he
starts, the better."

(12) "Has a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

(13) "A gross ignoramus, 144 times worse than an
ordinary ignoramus."

(14) "He certainly takes a long time to reach his
pointless."

(15) "He doesn't have ulcers - he's a carrier."

(16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

(17) "He's been working with glue too much."

(18) "He would argue with a signpost."

(19) "He has a knack for making strangers
immediately."

(20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

(21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

(22) "If you see two people talking and one looks
bored, he's the other one."

(23) "A photographic memory, but with the lens cover glued on."

(24) "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

(25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

(26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

(27) "Has two brains - one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

(28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be
watered twice a week."

(29) "If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

(30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."

(31) "It's hard to believe he beat out 28,000,000
other sperm."

(32) "One neuron short of a synapse."

(33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge - he only gargled."

(34) "Takes him 1.5 hours to watch sixty minutes."

(35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."


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