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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
AbuKhaled
08/22/00 at 14:06:35
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. - Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10 No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. - Freddie, age 6 HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. - Lori, age 8 WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. - Lynnette, age 8 On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. - Martin,age 10 WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. - Craig, age 9 WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. - Pam, age 7 The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - Curt, age 7 The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. -Howard, age 8 IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9 HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? - Kelvin, age 8 HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck - Ricky, age 10

Re: HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
Hedaya
08/23/00 at 00:09:51
I agree with sister Safiya . Its not appropriate to be here .

In/appropriateness
AbuKhaled
08/23/00 at 04:28:10
Assalam alaikum wa rahmatullah to you both, Jazakallahukhairun for your comments. I had actually written a disclaimer pointing out the aspects which you took umbrage to, but I thought readers would be detached enough to note that: 1. The comments were by non-Muslim children. 2. Since the comments were by children, they presume that as children are non-baligh, there is no ahliyya [legal capacity] within them. More than this, they would obviously be unfamiliar with the Islmaic mode of thinking. 3. It shows at how young an age children get infected with these ideas, and thereby how pervasive kuyfr can be even at such a tender age. So maybe wrongly, I gave the benefit of the doubt that people would realise the message being sent here. Thus I decided not to include the disclaimer even though I pre-empted that typically some would object without being able to see the bigger picture. Really, the purpose was not to promote the ideas, nor to legitimise them through humour. Sociological studies highlight how taboos are indicated by those things which cannot be laughed at, which is partly why homosexuality was promoted, through comedy. Ask yourselves, would a joke about child abuse be funny? No. Why? Because by and large most societies still abhor this, whereas whilst homosexuality might be abhorred in private, when in public, few non-Muslims object to it's existence, due to the overwhelming pressure of political correctness, and the de rigeur acceptability of this sin in their day and age. I think such a post is perfectly acceptable, and more to the point, provides corroborative evidence about the damaging effects of kufr notions in a society where media-latching can turn any type of behaviour into ones favour. Your inability to understand my purpose in posting should have led to you ask me rather than predetermine your opinion. As long as we cannot separate ourselves from our sensitivities, our proclivities to deal with those subjects which affect our youth will be affected. How many of the Muslim carriers of da'wa manage to reach out to those Muslim youth most engulfed in kufr? And how many merely manage to reach out to those who whilst not practicing Islam, still attend mosques, and/or exhibit an interest in Islam. Since such Muslims are already pre-disposed towards Islam, the effectiveness of 'amr bi'l marouf wa nahy anil munkar is eased, but try doing the same with a Muslim who just isn't interested. How do you reach out to them? Not by taking unmbrage to their ma'siyyah, for that merely makes them feel pre-judged and distances them from you from the outset. So you can still hate that which is displeasing to Allah (awj), yet realise that there is benefit with respect to the da'wah, to our understanding [fahm] of the kufr around us, and the interplay between the two, by familiarising ourselves with the reality. Too many Muslims don't understand kufr well enough to give effective da'wah about Islam at those junctures where the two clash. Let us be mature enough to recognise that no one was promoting dating/kissing in this context, and it was rather, showing how children view ideas about relationships and normative behaviour, whereas both your comments, predictably, focussed on positivism. Muslims will forever remain enmeshed in their problems until they can bridge the gap of what is normative versus what is positive. No offence taken, and none meant. Abu Khaled

Re: HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
SA
08/23/00 at 08:19:14
I thought it was funny. I also thought it might be fiction, as I rarely hear kids talk that way, but wAllahu'alim.

Re: HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
haaris
08/25/00 at 07:57:31
There's an old English saying that I think summarises what Abu Khaled was saying: "'Tis as well to know which tune the Devil is playing". For what it's worth I agree with Abu Khaled.  Just because a message doesn't come with big sign posts saying "This is the moral of this posting" doesn't mean that it is immoral or supports the subject of the posting.  Sometimes the most effective way of showing the futility and falseness of non-muslims is merely to show them as they are.  Just listen to some non-muslims talk about how drunk they get: "Oh, I had a great time last night!  Couldn't walk, couldn't talk, can't remember a thing about it.".  You don't need to hear any more to show how futile that is, in terms of both this world and the hereafter. May Allah grant us wisdom to see his message in everything. Salaam

Re: HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
NizarAlsaid
08/25/00 at 10:23:57
As'salaam Alaikum wa AlhamdiAllah. With the intent of not starting a discussion and despite the innocent humor in the e-mail, I would tend to agree Safiya in the sense of 'enjoining good and forbidding evil'. I see it from the idea of propagating something that is not Islamic. Today, we might think nothing of this e-mail because it looks so innocent compared to mainstream media. But if we were not to compare it to mainstream media and look at it in an isolated environment, it would be something we would laugh at but definitely not propagate. As'salaam Alaikum, Nizar Alsaid

Re: HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
Saleema
08/25/00 at 12:09:35
Assalam oalykum, agree with Abu Kahlid a 100%! Wassalam
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