Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| ki |
| 08/27/00 at 23:39:10 |
| Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu Our sisters section was moving on so well. WHat happened??? I cant think of what to post so I keep hoping that some other sisters will. Have we run out of topics that sisters can discuss? Or is it because some nosey brothers enter our room that we cant discuss issues that concern us?(no names mentioned they know who they are);) |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| jannah |
| 08/28/00 at 00:02:30 |
| yeah...arsalan...cough.cough... so my zisters in islam, life for me is pretty depressing lately...why is that all your friends have to go get married/get new jobs/move to parts unknown, it's rather very sad |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| Saleema |
| 08/28/00 at 10:26:29 |
| Assalamoalykum, Yeah tell me about it. Life *is* getting pretty depressing for me to. I mean, today I am supposed to attend college, first day, and look here I am typing away on this board. I mean why do I have to go to college? Why can't you just get a degree with graduation from high school? You know? I mean, this is going to be my life? Study, study... then work, work... work for family, worry about my kids... I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP!! Your whole life is just...work, and a struggle to stay alive and sane. My friends are getting married, some have already married, others are in the process of getting engaged... It feels as if the world around me is moving really fast and I'm stuck in a cube looking out at it. Wassalam |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| bhaloo |
| 08/28/00 at 10:37:27 |
| Asalaam alaikum wrt wb, [quote]Yeah tell me about it. Life *is* getting pretty depressing for me to. I mean, today I am supposed to attend college, first day, and look here I am typing away on this board. I mean why do I have to go to college? Why can't you just get a degree with graduation from high school? You know? [/quote] You have to admit this board has some interesting discussions? You just gave me a good idea for a topic, "Is college useless?". Maybe its a bit controversial, and some people might take exception to me saying that, but let me bring it up in the youth folder, and see what happens. |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| Safiya |
| 09/04/00 at 00:09:23 |
| Salaam alykum sisters... oh sisters i guess im in the same boat as u... i start collge in a few days time and i absolutely dont want to go... i would like to do alot of things in life but they all seem so far off... :( life is a big test....i feel like i cant take it anymore...but i know to have patience... why is it that us sister r so depressed???? im Not a feminist but i guess its b_cos we're females... i mean we cant go out and do what we want in this world(eg work abroad, seek islamic knowledge abroad or far away...list goes on..) Salaam |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| se7en |
| 08/28/00 at 14:57:43 |
as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatAllahi wa barakatuh, Actually Safiya I have heard the exact opposite from brothers - that sisters have it easy because they don't have to get a well paying job they dislike because they're not responsible for providing for a family - they have the opportunity to pursue whatever they want without being concerned with their annual income because in the end, they're not held accountable for providing for an entire family. The brother was telling me how it's incomprehensible to him how sisters would choose medicine or engineering when they chould pursue ilm or whatever else they want. It's an interesting point, that shows if nothing else that brothers have it hard too. It's all about perspective baby. Yeah change in life is hard, but moving on to bigger and better is what life's all about. It's a journey, a personal evolution. We need to keep moving forward and though it's hard putting one foot in front of the other is the only way we're gonna make it anywhere. Every challenge in our life is an opportunity to gain reward, every test we face is a lil access card to ajr. And I still remember the way this was explained to me once. This teacher told me, yeah life is hard but - life is good. I never heard that from a Muslim before, it was always life is difficult, life is a prison, life is oppressive, but this person said - life is good. It's hard, you get hurt, you suffer sometimes but it is good. It is good because it grants us an opportunity to achieve jannah. Think about that, every little pain and hurt and difficulty you've faced in your life has purified you, brought you that one step closer to that final abode. So we as Muslims, whassup with this attitude? This is hayaatudunyaa - this is not a world of ideals, it's not meant to fulfill our expectations - that's what Jannah's about. But it's all good because we know where this life can bring us. Islam is not a utopia, it's a challenge, but it's worth it. Are you up to it? Man, I'm probably the last person on earth people would call an optimist, but I've been through too many of those dark depressed phases in my life already. We are young, intelligent, capable individuals. We're livin at a time and in a place where we can do so much. We don't have time or energy to waste feelin bad for ourselves. Look around you. We have the opportunity to do so much - the world's just waiting for us to get out there and do something. Smile and rise to the challenge. |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| bhaloo |
| 08/28/00 at 15:51:46 |
| Asalaam alaikum wrt wb, [quote] So we as Muslims, whassup with this attitude? This is hayaatudunyaa - this is not a world of ideals, it's not meant to fulfill our expectations - that's what Jannah's about. [/quote] Alhumdullilah you said this, because I was thinking the same thing and didn't want to voice this opinion here, because it would have been coming from a male. Se7en is absolutely right. Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.545 Narrated by Abu Said Al Khudri and Abu Huraira The Prophet said, "No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that." Life is good alhumdullilah. These tests provide us with ways to strengthen our iman and emerge stronger from these situations. |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| Safiya |
| 09/04/00 at 00:10:39 |
| Salaamu alaykum subhanallah , alhamdulillah, i understand all u r both saying i can see our goals as an ummah, but i just can t see mine i guess... alhamdulillah, im happy with anything that afflicts...i know im gaining in ajr May Allah forgive me if i utter wrong... but is there not a saying (by the prophet or is it the one of the companions(cant remem) which says: this dunya is a prison for the believer as its the opposite for the disbelievers(my wording)? at the moment all i do is go to college, there is not much room for my deen...and i hate that... salaam |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| SA |
| 08/29/00 at 15:39:25 |
| If it's any consolation, I had the exact opposite experience in college, alhamdulillah...it was there that I felt like I was part of an ummah (back in my hometown, the ummah was weak and/or I was too lazy to do something about it), the muslims on campus were so active! Masha'Allah, I really miss college b/c of that, it's completely changed the way I look at things. I hope iA we all experience something like that or better throughout our lives. May we all be steadfast in our faith, and increase it further, and may Allah keep us amongst the righteous in this world and in the next, ameen! |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| tree |
| 08/30/00 at 10:21:54 |
| Asalaamu alaikum It's funny, just a couple of weeks ago I was thinking of a topic with which I could start a new thread, and the only thing i could come up with was that I was so uninspired by life recently! But because I didn't want to sound completely miserable, i didn't say anything. And even though I still don't want to sound completely miserable, I think it's good to say it just to get it out in the open and then move on. I really feel uninspired by life recently! :) Ah, there's nothing quite like moaning and groaning about life to fellow sisters one afternoon and then in the end saying "cool!" and getting on with things. I think we should all have a good old moan every now and then just to get it out of our system. It's worse when it keeps building up inside and then becomes a bigger deal than it actually is. So, who's in favour of getting together for a release session at least once a month?!? As for sisters having it easy because they have time to do what they want and study what they want without the pressures of getting a good job, etc, I think it's difficult to get that perspective when most of the women you know that are married are not given the option of pursuing what they want (well a lot of married women I know are in that position). But, there is hope for all you single women out there. I have a friend from Thailand who told me her husband gave up his job to follow her to the UK when she got a scholarship to study, because he feels that his wife is his gift and in his protetion and so he needs to provide for her needs, and as her education is a need for her he feels it's his duty to follow her if she has an good opportunity to study! And he also cooks sometimes when she's tired even though he also works full-time. I'm sorry, small things like that just make me happy cause I hear them so rarely! ok...i'm ready to move on..... tree |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| Safiya |
| 09/04/00 at 00:16:14 |
| Salaam alaykum Wrt wbt sis Tree, i totally agree with u, after i wrote my last post the next morning i woke up and thought, 'why r u depressed just because it seems u'r goals are soo far(Allah knows best) what u'r doing at the moment is a way inshallah to them. everyday u wake up u r being given another chance to strive in allahs path, alhamdulillah u've been gievn that chance again today...' and i felt better and MOVED ON... :) in a way... im up for that monthly release think, but may Allah grant us happier times so we may not need it.. Actually Safiya I have heard the exact opposite from brothers - that sisters have it easy because they don't have to get a well paying job they dislike because they're not responsible for providing for a family - they have the opportunity to pursue whatever they want without being concerned with their annual income because in the end, they're not held accountable for providing for an entire family i agree with tree on her last point, from what i know not many sisters r allowed to go and persue ilm or even go and study at a Uni thats on the other side of the city...cos its too far and anything could happen (i understand this genuine concern. sometimes men r damn selfish in not realising we have needs and plans for our ummah....except in the rare(VERY) case tree mentioned... i know so many sisters that r married and as soon as they got married their husbands stopped them from finishing their education and now r stuck at home looking after kids(not that thats a bad thing) but they dont seem to be doing much else(Allah knows best) ....and there r the other sisters who were made to get married at a young age and and they have now kids... ...oh and there r the sisters whose husbands agenda and theres just dont agree i know its hard for the brothers b_cos they have to support the family and so on but they cant really imagine what the other side is like... they r used to their freedom (not that we're not free if we had the right wali,mehram... ) but really my sympathy goes ONLY to those brothers who R doing a full-timer and supporting their relatives and their own family...Not to those brothers that speak on behalf of the male species for something they r not experiencing. but overall i have to say we females have a stronger case... i mean there is soo much i would like to do p.s. can a fard kifaayah be used when talking about a family, as in if there r 3 brothers, if one can support there parents the other 2 dont really have to...(so long as someone is doing something...) ? Salaam alaykum |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| SA |
| 08/31/00 at 09:25:17 |
| salaams, sisters i was really hoping the sisters forum wouldn't end up to be a complain-fest. can i just remind everyone, that we all have trials, even the Rasul (saws) had trials. remember, he never complained to anyone but Allah (swt), because Allah is our Provider. The Prophet (saws) even reminded us to look towards those who have less than us before looking at those who have more, to remind us that everything good in this world is by Allah's mercy. the following hadith is kind of long (and i've reeeeally tried to stop throwing hadith around), but the last sentence is of prime importance...forgive me if i've said anything wrong or offensive. and i remind myself first. Hadith Qudsi 17: On the authority of Abu Dharr al-Ghifari (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (PBUH) is that among the sayings he relates from his Lord (may He be glorified) is that He said: O My servants, I have forbidden oppression for Myself and have made it forbidden amongst you, so do not oppress one another. O My servants, all of you are astray except for those I have guided, so seek guidance of Me and I shall guide you, O My servants, all of you are hungry except for those I have fed, so seek food of Me and I shall feed you. O My servants, all of you are naked except for those I have clothed, so seek clothing of Me and I shall clothe you. O My servants, you sin by night and by day, and I forgive all sins, so seek forgiveness of Me and I shall forgive you. O My servants, you will not attain harming Me so as to harm Me, and will not attain benefitting Me so as to benefit Me. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as pious as the most pious heart of any one man of you, that would not increase My kingdom in anything. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as wicked as the most wicked heart of any one man of you, that would not decrease My kingdom in anything. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to rise up in one place and make a request of Me, and were I to give everyone what he requested, that would not decrease what I have, any more that a needle decreases the sea if put into it. O My servants, it is but your deeds that I reckon up for you and then recompense you for, so let him who finds good, praise Allah and let him who finds other that, blame no one but himself. It was related by Muslim (also by at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah). |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| bhaloo |
| 08/31/00 at 11:08:17 |
| Asalaam alaikum wrt wb, Sister Safiya, with regards to seeking knowledge, from the articles I have received and emails, it seems to be that the Muslim population is very well organized in your area, London and there are conferences and learning sessions all over the place. I could be wrong, is this true? That's good to hear that you are eager to want to increase your knowledge and from just about everyone that has posted to the board they all are expressing the same sentiment. Have you heard of distance learning programs? I think this is going to be a growin trend in the future. Where we have scholars hundreds or even thousands of miles away giving a lecture via the internet, and there can even be question and answer sessions. Chief Justice Taqi Usmani (famous scholar from Pakistan, perhaps Asim and Arsalan have heard of him?) had a 10 week session through the internet on the Islamic economic system. UNFORTUNATELY, I didn't take this class and missed out. But if anyone hears of more opportunities like this, please, post it to the board. |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| Arsalan |
| 08/31/00 at 13:24:50 |
| Assalamu alaikum, Arshad, I think that internet class is still available on the internet. There's some texts that you have to read and then there are quizzes, etc. If you're interested, I can give you the URL. |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| Safiya |
| 09/02/00 at 01:31:51 |
| Salaam Alaykum bro Arshad: yeah its true there r so many lectures going on, especially this year i think ( or i may have just realised it this year) alhamdulillah i managed to go to a few... no i havent heard of the distance learning program, it sounds good... is it visual or just sound? mmm.. |
| for the sisters starting college |
|---|
| nuralaain |
| 09/02/00 at 02:00:43 |
| assalamualakum i noticed some of the sisters not really lookin forward to goin to college --- well i just wanted to tell u to keep ur chin up and stuff..... a lot of my friends are gettin married or are married.... but u konw what i realized, esp after hanging out with my married friends who have all these responsiblities now -- its great to be married -- but u know what , thers a time for everything! and...... i feel like we shouldnt take these yrs for granted. i mean..... we're in a period of our life where we can study whatever we want -- we can take the most random classes just bc we have a thirst for knowledge and we want to leanr something..... we can get involved in the muslim student association adn do community service..... we can do help at the mosque and be active leaders and hlep other sisters to unite and learn more about their deen. this time is sooo precious -- we should really take advantage of it. im so glad i realized this before i graduated from college too - bc i konw too many ppl that realize this afer they're out.... and they tell me to enjoy every minute of skool. we are so lucky that Allah swt is blessing us with an education..... where in many countries, women have to sneak aroudn to get an education or are simply deprived of one. count ur blessings every day sisters.... thank Allah swt for the oppurtunities and *never* forget the small things which mean so much..... and which would cause much grief in our lives should we live without them.... |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| salamrae |
| 09/03/00 at 03:41:51 |
| Assalamu Alaikum To those sisters who are in college, who have no husband, no children, if I could go back and complete my education I would. If you are depressed you should remind yourselves that this is a simple and easy part of your life.I know College is difficult and stressfull but if you are Muslim and have a Muslim family and are liveing at home you have it made!!! I am married. I have been muslim for about five years. My husband is muslim. He is practicing but that wasnt always the case. And even though still he has no idea the burdens he puts on me. He works out of town , truck driver. He is always gone. we have three children. I take care of them completely. From every little thing, to dealing with my seven year old and school. Meetings. activities are all on me. Then there is the finance. I have to write the checks for the bills, and make sure they are paid, (he earns the money.), and fight and argue all the time about how much money I need for groceries and gas. And it is never enough. I shop for bargins but he does not even understand the cost of living. I take care of every prolbem I help him in his business, and make calls, get loads, do follow up, I have to take care of everything he does not want to deal with. And If the house isnt as "CLEAN" as he thinks it should be I get insulted and called many names. I clean every day, do laundary everyday, but that is not good enough. I admit my flaw is I am unorganized, and it can be frustrateing at times. I never have money for my own personall spending. I have not bought clothes, shoes etc... for two years. I have friends who give me thier closthes and handdowns. If not for them I would have no clothes. When I go to buy clothes for my children , threee of them, He thinks 100.dollars is enough. I am told I am a slob, stupid, not a lady, not a human,,,,,,And now I have recently been told I am lazy for not learning Arabic and teaching it to my children. I should be learning it own my own by myself and teach it to my children. Its my resposability. Even though my husband, thier father is Arab. I just want you to know this why? Because you have it easy . And when you get married you will do it Islams way and you can be sure to find somenone who will respect you and treat you with digninity. Untill then , enjoy your life. and even then if you do it right you can enjoy your life. I did it wrong . I wasnt muslim when I married and my husband was not practiceing. And Believe me I have been through alot and I guess it is not going to change and I have to "live with it" But the joy is I have three beautifull children. MashaAllah. I know this is personal, and I spoke too much. But I just needed to tell some of you that your life easy for you right now, enjoy it. Salam rae |
| We are still here.. |
|---|
| Mona |
| 09/03/00 at 11:47:15 |
| Assalamu alaikum, Al-hamdolellah sisters, life is full of struggles at every stage of adulthood. This is how it is. But subhannah Allah, there are good times too for most of us that should also span all stages of life, not just adolescence. I am not happy all the time, au contraire, but trying very hard to change what I can within Islamic bounds of course. It is within everyone's reach to change, but I know it is orders of magnitudes harder for women. We need the support of loved ones and most of all we need a piercing vision on how we should change for the better in sha' Allah. Sister Salamrae, I am very concerned for you after reading your post. This is not how married life is supposed to be in Islam. It is your husband's duty to help out with every aspect of living and be loving, curteous and grateful to your efforts as a wife and mother. It is very unhealthy, not to mention against sunnah to call the wife names or overload her with things above her abilites. I am afraid that your husband is acting out the typical middle eastern mentality of "I am the man thus entitled to wife's subservience". I am arab and know many arabs who haven't seen the light yet and think this way. This is wrong wrong wrong!! Please, for your children's sake and for yours, seek counselling or the help of someone you trust to advise you on how you may make changes to your life, step-by-step mind you, so that it is more enjoyable and less of a burdern. I hope you are not offended by this, sister. A final word to the un-married sisters like me, please do not be scared off married life. You may be cautious about how you select a husband. I have been cautious for 7 yrs and still hopeful that the right one will come along at the time Allah intends for me to marry. It is getting tiresome to wait, granted, but in sha' Allah, my patience will not run out and I will have the will to go on. Wassalamu alaikum, Mona |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| mahsou411 |
| 09/05/00 at 11:45:11 |
| As Salaam ALaikum. I am so tired af hearing women complain. Thast is truly what we do best instead of sitting dowm and finding solutions to the problem and working on those solutions. Like the sister said earlier, the Prophet (SAWS) didn't complain to anybody but Allah so seek refuge in him and DO somthing about your situation! Be greatful you even have fingers to type a post and a mouth to whine with!!!! We have amazing opportunities as women if we just use them. ANd i make duah for sisters who are genuinly in oppressive situations and have little options. May Allah give them the strength and the ability to get out of those situations and reward them for enduring hardship. Allah knows best. -Aminah Mahsou |
| Re: where r the Akhwat? |
|---|
| se7en |
| 09/05/00 at 14:06:46 |
as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatAllahi wa barakatuh, We need to remember to have mercy on our muslim brothers and sisters, to give them support and encouragement when it is needed, or to advise them gently when it is needed. In the Quran Allah says that if Muhammad, peace be upon him, was severe or harsh with his people, they would have turned away from him. His mercy and gentleness towards people, even when they were drowned in the worst levels of ignorance and wrong doing, is what opened their hearts to what is right. When Allah sent Musa and Haroon, peace be upon them, to Pharoah, who Allah says transgressed all bounds, He told them to speak to him mildly, gently. If Allah asked Musa and Haroon to do with Pharoah, who was one of the worst people, why can't we do this with our own Muslim brothers and sisters? We are believers, who are promised to be tested in this life with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits of our toil. There are times when it's gonna be *HARD* to be Muslim. We need to be merciful to people, and inshaAllah Allah will have mercy on us. |
Individual posts do not necessarily reflect the views of Jannah.org, Islam, or all Muslims. All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners. Comments are owned by the poster and may not be used without consent of the author.The rest © Jannah.Org |