Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| THe right to BARE arms?? |
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| nuralaain |
| 09/12/00 at 13:37:41 |
| I'm disappointed.... I'm not saint, I know i have made my share of mistakes. But it tears me up when Muslims are being attacked from all forefronts, physical, emotional, etc.... and yet our brothers and sisters just DONT GET IT. Yesterday and today i have seen three sisters, who DO come to MSA meetings, waering sleeveless shirts, mini skirts, or skirts with huge slits, walking around campus wanted to "fit in" with the non muslims!!! It not only hurts me.... but makes me feel like im wasting my time puttin all my efforts into msa.... and my own sisters are walking around this like, paying no heed to the fact that they are muslims. I'm not sure how i am supposed to feel.... I'm not goin to sit them down and talk to them about it -- why should I? they know the rules, they're just goin to feel insulted and it will indefinetly drive them away from msa for good. is leading by example enuff?? i dont know why im annoyed.... maybe its seeing them all in the span of 24 hrs and just getitn sick of it! and we wonder why all this is happening to the ummah (kashmir, bosnia, chechnya, kosovo). |
| Re: THe right to BARE arms?? |
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| jannah |
| 09/12/00 at 14:04:24 |
| wow sister you remind me of my msa days... tons of frustration and tons of potential one thing about girls like that is that they don't change overnight and you're right that they will feel insulted and stop bothering to even come to msa if someone politely talks to them i've seen however sisters like that change dramatically like magic over a period of even a year or less, even 1 day... and what changed them? it's education. one day this sister who didn't wear hijab and wore half sleeves etc went with us to the sh hamza/imam zaid conference in connecticut..we listened to the 3 speeches and on the way back...voila.. she said i'm going to start wearing hijab!!! we were like... 'what the heck'??? from 1 speech, 1 day and she totally changed her life..i'm sure she felt some guilt before and like your girls she knew what was right to do inside, but she never felt motivated and in an environment that was supporting her as a person and then over the recent months she had been hanging out with hijabis almost all the time and this and our 'hijabi' stories and seeing confident sisters wearing the hijab and living life normally really affected her. the #1 reason why i see sisters not wearing hijab is that they are very insecure...how will people like them, or guys react to them, etc they want to fit in and be liked... when they realize that they can do this with hijab and that hijab actually gives them alot of this confidence and respect they really change... anyway the best thing you can do for those girls is be their friends...i don't know how it happens but over time they really do get influenced by others...and Allah guides those who are sincere. inshallah i'm going to move this over to the bebzi stand for more comments from others |
| Re: THe right to BARE arms?? |
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| nuralaain |
| 09/12/00 at 19:41:31 |
| assalamualakum Jannah, you are totally right. I know of a girl who spent a lot of time with the 'arab club' in our skool, and i remember seieng her aorund camps wearing the same short stuff etc.... but alhumdulilah, as some of us have become closer friends with her, shes really changed. not only because of our support, but also bc something inside her changed, and she realized that she was hanging out with ppl before thta only lead her to other less favorable things. So i guess... we never know when ppl are going ot change... we dont konw when they will see the light, and we are equally vulnerable to falling into darkness. as for hijab -- i was talking about girls wearing mini skirts and sleevless, its all a process and by no means am i telling these girls to start wearing hijab tomorrow. just maybe start by coverin those legs we've been covering since second grade. |
| Re: THe right to BARE arms?? |
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| widad |
| 09/12/00 at 22:02:36 |
| slm Yeah,Jannah is right,some of these people are looking for guidance but if you do it the right way inshallah,you will be able to do something. Start to talk to them about other things,hobbies,interests and see what they are studying,you are liable to find somthing in common,then,perhaps you can give one of them a present.The prophet (sala ALlahu alyhi wasallam )said to give presents to increase love(tahadu tahabbu).Then when they feel comfortable with you they will start to feel that there is something wrong(they do know in their hearts that something is wrong),then you can start gradually to talk about how important it is to obey Allah to gain "hassanat". Well,something along that,you will find the best way as you know them more,but for sure they will need to change from inside first. |
| Re: THe right to BARE arms?? |
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| nuralaain |
| 09/12/00 at 22:34:01 |
| Assalamualakum my bros and sistas I think i learned a very important lesson today. I really had NO right to look down on any of those girls.... the feelings of anger inside me had no right to be there.... i was wearing the mask of a judge and im NOT the judge - only Allah swt can judge waht is inside our hearts. Today, i initiated an online conversation with an old "friend"... and it really put me in my place. This friends roommate knew me a loong long time ago.... and exposed soem of my past mistakes. I was confronted with these mistakes when i myself had forgotten aboutthem... had forgotten how easy it is to fall back into darkness, how easy it is to let arrogance get to your heart. At first i was very upset.... its amazing bc this all happened when i was overseas, and now i am here in college, several years away from all of that, not to mention miles. I relaized this was a sign of Allah swt disappointment in me..... it is a mercy of Allah swt for one's sins to be blanketed..... i lost this right when i starting judging ppl when i had no right to. just bc ive changed in certain ways doesnt mean i should forget how easy adn how terrible it was when I myself was doing things i should not haev been doing. I feel the years, my experiences, and my faith have all changed me...... but i cant forget about the lessons... and the biggest lesson is that Allah swt guides whom He wills, and you *never* know when someone will change. The thing that hurt me the most was when this guy said he was really surprised that i started wearing hijab ..... I dont care what anyone thinks as long as Allah swt has forgiven me..... but it was still disheartening to hear and just made me want to lock myself up in the house and not come out... |
| Re: THe right to BARE arms?? |
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| jannah |
| 09/13/00 at 00:27:06 |
| nurulain subhanallah it does sound like a sign for compassion, but still i can understand your anger and frustration when some people do not follow what Allah wants, we can't judge what is in their hearts but it hurts to see people openly disobeying Allah. it shows how much you care about Allah and His commands that you are upset when you see it being disobeyed, if you didn't care about what those sisters did then it would mean you didn't care about them or what happenned to them or what was good and right for them. i guess it is finding this balance between trying to help people and not judging them at the same time that is difficult... |
| Re: THe right to BARE arms?? |
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| bhaloo |
| 09/13/00 at 10:09:57 |
| slm bsm I know what you mean by it being very frustrating to see Muslims not even doing the basics, and I'm referring to over 90% of the ones I see. Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with these people and why don't they get it, even though its been explained to them over and over again. And as was mentioned here, you just have to have patience, with some people it takes one ISNA conference, one week, one year, and for others one lifetime is not enough. Just have patience, keep trying, and insha'Allah show compassion. |
| Re: THe right to BARE arms?? |
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| sis |
| 09/14/00 at 11:53:56 |
| bismillah alrhman alrhim alsalamu alaykum wa rhmat Allah wa barakatuhu masha'Allah am glad to see this issue being discussed because it is very important that we help each other in becoming better muslims i have felt and still occasionally feel the ezact same way about sis's and bro's...how they try to fit into the non-muslim scene ....and the best thing to do is be a friend and an example ... i always wanted to learn more about Islam and be aorund muslims ....since i was born, except for sunday school at the masjid, i've been in public schools with at the most 5 muslims going there.....and when i got to uni...when i was in my last yr of high school..a sis i knew invited me to come to halaqa that the msa was holding every friday.......its what i needed...it wasn't harsh advice or anything..it was just plane islamic-info session .....every friday a different subject would be taught or continued from the past friday.....it gave me more awareness and knowledge to be a better muslim .....its true that most muslims know the basics but at the same time they might not know the importance of them ...... sis i really think its a good idea...if there isn't already a halaqa going at ur university or somewhere in the city..to get one started and invite these sis's ...encourage them to come ....and go have a coffee afterwards or something.....its a good way to get into their 'islamic' side salam:o) |
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