Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Would you? |
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| Mona |
| 09/13/00 at 08:48:47 |
| Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatu, I am interestd to hear views on this one. As you all know, the definition of compatability of potential husbands is varied between different traditions and customs within muslim communities, which whether we like it or not still exist and to some extent restrict our choices. These days, one hugely emphasized category of compatability is education. Formal, secular education in a university is now a strong governing factor in selecting a spouse. I admit that this is the case in my culture. But I am feeling uneasy about it and think that this is somehow wrong from an Islamic perspective, since we are not judged based on how many degrees we accumulate, but by taqwa. How about others, is it really an issue? |
| Re: Would you? |
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| M.F. |
| 09/13/00 at 10:59:20 |
| Assalamu alaikum, Although the education level is not an Islamic criterion, I think that it is important when you're "choosing" your husband to look at his education level for other reasons. I think the most important reason is that you want to be able to communication with your husband on the same level. If you're highly educated and he's not, or you know more than he does etc. then it might turn out to be quite a big problem. I've heard of men who had less knowledge than their wives who were always trying to put their wives down (probably from feeling inferior). You also want to be able to talk freely with him and not be worried all the time that you're talking about something he can't grasp (not that level of education means knowledge) and so on.. The other thing is that your husband has to have a high enough level to earn a good income, and again, you earning more than he does might also cause the same sort of inferiority problems. So although a college education might not be important Islamically, it might be really important when it comes to how you and your husband will get along. And that's what I think :) |
| Re: Would you? |
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| Mona |
| 09/13/00 at 12:19:58 |
| Assalamu alaikum, It does make sense to look at it this way. Thanks for the input. :-) The way you responded to this sounded like it would more problematic if the wife's education was higher than the husband's rather than vice versa. Kinda rings a bell. So, would it be OK or workable then if the husband's eduacation is much much higher than the wife's? While still on the subject, why is it that university education is nowadays equated to wisdom and level of maturity. I've seen illiterate people who are tons sharper and wiser than some university goers. |
| Re: Would you? |
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| Nazia |
| 09/13/00 at 16:53:20 |
| Assalamu Alaikum, I don't think that necessarily wisdom and intelligence are equated with the number of degrees you might have, but I think at the same time it (education) does say something about the person. It shows a level of determination, will power, and level headedness, because we all know that college is not easy. And actually sacrificing 6-10 years of your life pursuing an adrimal goal is definitely worth commending. When I say sacrificing 6-10 yrs of life is commendable, I definitely am not including those who sacrifice everything (ie-Islam, family, etc) to accomplish this goal. But, if you have the power to balance higher education, Islam, family etc, then that definitely gives some insight to your character. All of these characteristics, determination, will power, strength of mind, and hard workingness (?) are good things to look into when looking for a suitable hubby. Of course these ideals are not always applicable to the brother, but they are general guidelines you could go by. Sooo, being sharp and intellectual without formal education is great, but realistically, there should be a balance. As for your other question, regarding the wife's education, I think the same thing holds. However, I'm going to kind of change the question if you don't mind. Let's not worry about how compatible a high school drop out and PHD would be, but lets think about the woman. She shouldn't have to worry about getting a higher education to be able to communicate with her husband, but rather to stand on her own two feet, if necessary. Unfortunately, in today's society we can no longer depend on our siblings or parents to take care of us if something (God forbid) happens to our spouse. So, as Muslim women, I believe it is our responsiblity to ourselves, and our children, that we have the ability to take care of ourselves and our families if and when we need to. Hmm, looking back at this last section, I don't really think I answered your question. Sorry! There are just somethings I feel very passionate about, and I wanted to share. Anyways, I hope I didn't offend anybody. Take care, Wassalam, Nazia |
| Re: Would you? |
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| M.F. |
| 09/14/00 at 07:37:39 |
| Assalamu alaikum, To answer your question about why education is equated with wisdom etc, I guess I'd say it depends on what kind of wisdom you're talking about. I too know uneducated people who are very wise, but that doesn't mean they're knowledgeable, while education adds knowledge to wisdom (though not always!). I guess that's the difference to me. I guess it comes down to one thing: Allah taught mankind "with the pen" (bilqalam). So to me that's the value of education, being able to respond to Allah's command "Iqra", and to learn what we didn't know. |
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