Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| common mistake by muslim women |
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| Amatullah |
| 09/18/00 at 04:07:20 |
| I found this email good, i'd like to share it with u guys, it's about the common mistakes that muslim women do, Amatullah. ) In the house and between husband and wife:  Using gold or silver plates and utensils, which was prohibited by the prophet sallah Allahu 3alayhi wa sallam. He told us that gold and silver are for kafer’s in this world, and for us in the hereafter. The punishment for those who do is severe: He/she carries Hell Fire in his/her stomach!  Putting up statues and hanging up pictures, and this is a big sin that many Muslims have taken to be nothing despite the fact that the prophet sallah Allahu 3alayhi wa sallam said that the angels don’t enter a house that contains a dog or pictures.  Fighting the concept of polygyny, and considering those who marry more than one woman as players or traitors, and that they have committed a great sin and acted unjustly towards their first wives. Allah subhanahu wa ta3ala says: “MARRY (OTHER) WOMEN OF YOUR CHOICE, TWO OR THREE OR FOUR…” (4; 3). It is important to remember that if anyone dislikes an order of Allah, all their good deeds are wiped away… Allah subhanahu wa ta3ala says: “THAT IS BECAUSE THEY HATE THAT WHICH ALLAH HAS SENT DOWN; SO HE HAS MADE THEIR DEEDS FRUITLESS” (47; 9). That is why we have to do and accept every little thing that came down to us from above seven skies without any hesitation.  Not obeying the husband and raising her voice on him. Many also deny all the good deeds he has done and always complain about him with reason or without. The prophet sallah Allahu 3alayhi wa sallam said that he were going to order someone to prostrate to the other, it would be the wife to her husband. Obeying him is a must (as long as it doesn’t contradict Islamic teachings). Many women sleep while their husband is mad or upset at them. Little do they know that their prayer is not accepted until their husbands are pleased with them again. As for those who DO obey their husbands, and don’t sleep unless he is pleased with them (even if it was HIS fault!), Allah subahanu wa ta3ala has a great reward for them. The prophet sallah Allahu 3alayhi wa sallam said that those women who ask forgiveness from their husbands and don’t sleep until their husband is pleased with them are the women of al-jannah.  Decreasing the number of children for reasons other than illness or being unable to raise them properly. This results in a decrease in the population of the Muslim Ummah. So why the fear of bearing a lot of children? Is it a fear of not being able to provide for them? He who has provided for you will provide for your kids insha Allah. Or maybe it is the fear of losing one’s health and beauty? But remember, dear sister, that after you die you will gain no more deeds except from 3 sources; of them is an obedient child’s duaa to his/her parents. So the more obedient children you bring up, the most good deeds you will receive insha Allah when you are in the most need for them. ------------------ Úáì ÇáÊæÍíÏ ÚÔäÇ, æãä ÃÌá ÇáÊæÍíÏ äãæÊ |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| proudtobemuslim |
| 09/18/00 at 06:34:30 |
| [quote]he were going to order someone to prostrate to the other, it would be the wife to her husband[/quote] Could someone please tell me the reference for this. |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| Breeze |
| 09/18/00 at 18:02:50 |
| >>>>>after you die you will gain no more deeds except from 3 sources; of them is an obedient child’s duaa to his/her parents. So the more obedient children you bring up, the most good deeds you will receive insha Allah when you are in the most need for them. <<<< << and more information on this please. |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| Saleema |
| 09/19/00 at 12:48:41 |
| >>>Not obeying the husband and raising her voice on him. Many also deny all the good deeds he has done and always complain about him with reason or without. The prophet sallah Allahu 3alayhi wa sallam said that he were going to order someone to prostrate to the other, it would be the wife to her husband. Obeying him is a must (as long as it doesn’t contradict Islamic teachings). Many women sleep while their husband is mad or upset at them. Little do they know that their prayer is not accepted until their husbands are pleased with them again. As for those who DO obey their husbands, and don’t sleep unless he is pleased with them (even if it was HIS fault!), Allah subahanu wa ta3ala has a great reward for them. The prophet sallah Allahu 3alayhi wa sallam said that those women who ask forgiveness from their husbands and don’t sleep until their husband is pleased with them are the women of al-jannah.>>> I don't like the way this is written. Althought, yes, I do beleive that the women should obey her husband and be kind to him. Wassalam |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| bhaloo |
| 09/19/00 at 13:08:24 |
| slm I believe Dr. Jamal Badawi's book Gender Equity explains some of these concepts a bit more clearly and of course there are many articles at http://www.jannah.org/sisters that discuss these topics and help to clarify common misconceptions people might have. |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| Saleema |
| 09/19/00 at 20:00:26 |
| Salam, I have read Dr. Badawi's book on Gender Equity. It is very good. It does a much better job of explaining things than the person who wrote the above article, which sounds so dictatorial. Wassalam |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| widad |
| 09/20/00 at 12:53:09 |
| slm Jazakillahu khayran Amatullah for these mistakes,they are done so much. *As for them sounding dictatorial,it is what Allah wants and we cannot change what Allah has ordered. *As for the hadeeth about the man being pleased of the woman refers to her denying him his natural rights(when he calls her to bed,she must not deny him his rights) even if she were on a camel or in front of a fire, baking bread(I will get the wordings of the hadeeths later inshallah). *Jamal Badawi is a writer and he has to know how to present things in a special way,but our sister here, jazahaAllahu khayran gave us the facts. There is another saying that if you become a slave-maid to him he will become a slave to you(meaning depending on the way you treat your spouse he will also treat you). |
| NS |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| jannah |
| 09/20/00 at 13:03:25 |
| I don't think it's Allah's orders that they find dictatorial, but the way it has been presented here. We are always saying that non-muslims and others should be careful when understanding issues in Islam, that they shouldn't take things out of context. In the same way we shouldn't present things out of context because to other's it seems odd and "dictatorial". I understand that the sister was trying to help us by giving naseeha :) [quote] *As for them sounding dictatorial,it is what Allah wants and we cannot change what Allah has ordered. [/quote] |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| Arsalan |
| 09/20/00 at 13:17:43 |
| Assalamu alaikum, Actually the original article is not Amatullah's own writing. She's forwarding something she got from someone else. So whoever made it sound "dictatorial", it's not her! I'm still waiting to see if anyone knows where that hadith of "prostrating" is... |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| bhaloo |
| 09/20/00 at 14:05:06 |
| slm Well Arsalan if you really want to see that hadith here it is: Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband. Transmitted by Tirmidhi. |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| Arsalan |
| 09/20/00 at 16:11:03 |
| Assalamu alaikum, JazakAllahu khairan Arshad. I didn't know of this hadith before. Hmm ... something to think about! |
| Re: relationship |
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| jannah |
| 09/20/00 at 16:24:11 |
| I think it's indicative of how much respect spouses should have towards each other. |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| assing |
| 09/20/00 at 18:15:43 |
| he were going to order someone to prostrate to the other, it would be the wife to her husband? This hadeeth can be found in the sunan of At Tirmdidhee-which he said that it is hasan, gareeb, saheeh (as Br.Bhaloo pointed out), sunan of Abu dawud, musnad of imam Ahmad, and it has also been narrated by more than ten sahabahs; Muaadh ibn Jabal, Suraqah ibn Malik, Aishah, ibn Abbas, Abdullah ibn ubay Awfa, Talaq ibn Ali, Umm Salamah and Anas ibn Malik. Alot of misunderstanding that people have with this hadeeth is removed (i have even seen some out -right reject the hadeeth) when one sees the reason the rasulallah (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) mentioned this hadeeth; narrated by ibn Ubay Awfa: when Muaadh came from As shaam (Syria, Jordan, Palastine area now) he postrated to the Prophet (saw), so he (saw) said" what is this ya Muaadh?" he said: i came from As shaam and i saw the people there postrating to their preists and religious leaders and i wanted to do the same for you. So the rasulallah (saw) said" don't do it, if i were to command anyone to make sujud to other than Allah i would have commanded the woman to make sujud to her husband, and by the one whose my life is in His hands, a woman will not fulfill the rights of her lord until she fulfills the rights of her husband" (taken from A'wan al ma'bood sharh sunan Abu Dawud) , and shaikh Naasir deen Al Albani also said that this is saheeh. |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| widad |
| 09/21/00 at 11:08:17 |
| slm I am sorry I didn't mean to be aggressive or anything,but I am really angry at the way the modern women are reacting to the husband-wife relationship,it is the first and most important brick,in the making of the strong Islamic ummah. This hadeeth and another one I can't find yet,only show us how important it is for the wife to be humble and respectful to her husband. It is enough that Allah subhanahu watala has promised the woman who prays her prayers and fasts her month and guards her modesty(private parts) and obeys her husband can enter the jannah from any door. Isn't that what we all want?It is the woman's jihad. I ask Allah to help me and all the muslim women (and men)to do our best to be able to enter jannat al-firdaws,ameen,ameen,ameen. |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| widad |
| 09/21/00 at 14:56:06 |
| slm To Breeze: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When the son of Adam dies, all his good deeds come to an end, apart from three: sadaqah jaariyah (ongoing charity, such as a waqf or endowment), beneficial knowledge, and a righteous son who will pray for him.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1631). |
| NS |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| tq |
| 09/21/00 at 16:47:31 |
| " or endowment), beneficial knowledge, and a righteous son who will pray for him.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1631). " Assalamo elikuim Is it just sons or is it rightteous son or daughter? What if some body doesnt have any sons but daughters only who pray for them? Wasalam tq |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| Arsalan |
| 09/21/00 at 17:17:32 |
| Assalamu alaikum, The hadith says "waladun saalihun." I'm not sure what "walad" means. Does it mean "child" or "son"?? I *think* it means son. But regardless, these things are almost always meant to encompass both genders. Allah does not use him/her (or her/him a la Saleema) etc, and neither did the Prophet (pbuh). In fact, nobody did until the twentieth century! It was always an understood thing. Wassalamu alaikum. |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| Breeze |
| 09/21/00 at 19:25:59 |
| salaam, ....but what if someone has no children (for many reasons), are they at disadvantage? wassalam |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| jannah |
| 09/21/00 at 22:11:59 |
| become a teacher and ask your students to pray for you always ;), or you can build a mosque or you can teach someone something good and you'll get the reward for them doing that always. |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| Insaaf |
| 10/16/00 at 12:33:42 |
| Assalamu alaikum, Brother Arsalan i believe that *walad* means child, meaning son or daughter. In arabic, when you say, awlad, meaning plural of walad, you are referring to all of your children, sons and daughters. Also, i know that when my father mentions this hadeeth to us (at home) he stresses the importance of all of this children making duaa. Wallahu A'lam salamu alaikum Insaaf |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| Harisa |
| 11/02/00 at 01:06:18 |
*As for the hadeeth about the man being pleased of the woman refers to her denying him his natural rights(when he calls her to bed,she must not deny him his rights) even if she were on a camel or in front of a fire, baking bread(I will get the wordings of the hadeeths later inshallah). OH MY GODD---GIVE ME A MINUTE TO BREATHE BEFORE I HAVE A HEART ATTACK EXCUSE ME SAY WHAT??? I CALL THIS MARITAL RAPE WHOOOPTIII DOOOOO |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| Harisa |
| 11/02/00 at 01:18:18 |
| Many women sleep while their husband is mad or upset at them. Little do they know that their prayer is not accepted until their husbands are pleased with them again. As for those who DO obey their husbands, and don’t sleep unless he is pleased with them (even if it was HIS fault!), Allah subahanu wa ta3ala has a great reward for them. The prophet sallah Allahu 3alayhi wa sallam said that those women who ask forgiveness from their husbands and don’t sleep until their husband is pleased with them are the women of al-jannah. Excuse me say what??? what???? OMG---what da beeeeeeeeeeeeep??? omg omg im hyperventilating wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh someone care to explain this to me ??>?????S?????? omg omg omgggggggg |
| Re: common mistake by muslim women |
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| Saleema |
| 11/02/00 at 01:24:53 |
| Assalamoalykum, Dera Harisa, did u read my responses to this post? not that the ahadith are wrong, but the way in which the article was written was not good. it seems like as if only the husbands have rights and the wives don't. i wanted to critique it sentence by sentence, then i decided against it. Maybe i should do it now. i will inshallah, if i can find the time. in the meanwhile, i know you are doing what i asked you to do pertaining to this matter. Wassalam |
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