Signs of our Times

Madina Archives


Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

Signs of our Times
bhaloo
09/29/00 at 12:22:23
slm

Re:    Signs of our Times
      Here are some signs and notices written in English that were
      discovered throughout the world.  
   
   
In a Tokyo Hotel:
      Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.  If you are not a person
      to do such thing is please not to read notis.
   
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
      The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time we
      regret that you will be unbearable.
   
In a Leipzig elevator:
      Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
   
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
      To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.  If the cabin
      should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
      wishing floor.  Driving is then going alphabetically by national
      order.
   
In a Paris hotel elevator:
      Please leave your values at the front desk.
   
In a hotel in Athens:
      Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours
      of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
   
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
      The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
      chambermaid.
   
In a Japanese hotel:
      You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
   
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastery:
      You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and
      Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
      Thursday.
   
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
      Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the
      boots of ascension.
   
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
      Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
   
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
      Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings
      in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers
      beaten up in the country people's fashion.
   
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
      Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
   
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
      Drop your trousers here for best results.
   
Outside a Paris dress shop:
      Dresses for street walking.
   
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
      Order your summers suit.  Because is big rush we will execute
      customers in strict rotation.
   
Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:
      There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic
      painters and sculptors.  These were executed over the past two
      years.
   
A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
      It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that
      people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together
      in one tent unless they are married with each other for that
      purpose.
   
In a Zurich hotel:
      Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite
      sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this
      purpose.
   
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
      Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
   
In a Rome laundry:
      Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a
      good time.
   
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
      Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no
      miscarriages.
   
In a Swiss mountain inn:
      Special today -- no ice cream.
   
In a Tokyo bar:
      Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
   
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
      We take your bags and send them in all directions.
   
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
      If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
   
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
      Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
   
In a Budapest zoo:
      Please do not feed the animals.  If you have any suitable food,
      give it to the guard on duty.
   
In the office of a Roman doctor:
      Specialist in women and other diseases.
   
In an Acapulco hotel:
      The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
   
In a Tokyo shop:
      Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in
      the long run.
   
>From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
conditioner:
      Cooles and Heates:  If you want just condition of warm in your
      room, please control yourself.
   
>From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
      When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet
      him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage
      then tootle him with vigor.
   
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
      -   English well talking.
      -   Here speeching American.
Re:  Signs of our Times
widad
09/29/00 at 13:38:28
slm
Oh it's hilarious,jazakallahu khayran,I was  feeling so depressed and this really cheered me up.Can I post it in another forum??
Re:  Signs of our Times
bhaloo
09/29/00 at 14:08:00
slm

Cetainly pass it on to whomever you want to, anything that I post on here, feel free to pass it on.

Alhumdullilah glad to hear you are feeling better.
Re:  Signs of our Times
Asim
09/30/00 at 00:41:28
Assalaamu alaikum,

*LOL*

Oh boy, these are hilarious. Just can't stop laughing. :D

Europe is always an interesting experience and one does come across these funny notices. Different languages are always fun. Once in Amsterdam, my father was trying to explain to a waiter if they served fish. Nope, we got nowhere with english. Frustrated we were just talking among ourselves in Urdu about what to do and fish, etc. The waiter suddenly points to the glass of water and motions like a fish!!! We all went "yeaaah!!". We had no idea how he figured it out. :)

Wasalaam.
Re:  Signs of our Times
widad
09/30/00 at 10:09:09
slm

Jazakallahu khayran.
Maybe one of the words in urdu have something the in common with their language!!


Individual posts do not necessarily reflect the views of Jannah.org, Islam, or all Muslims. All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners. Comments are owned by the poster and may not be used without consent of the author.
The rest © Jannah.Org