Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| [MADRASA] Violent, mean, and evil people |
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| bhaloo |
| 07/10/01 at 01:11:29 |
| slm The Poem that Se7en wrote here: [url] http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl/YaBB.pl?board=bookstore&action=display&num=609 [/url] Can someone explain to me what goes on in the mind of a person that abuses and hurts another person? What makes them do that? What are they thinking when they hurt another? How can they justify their actions? Ok, I can understand perhaps how some people might not control their anger, which is something they need to do, but why is it that they will hurt someone, physically, emotionally, etc. and not feel any remorse at all for these actions? Why? |
| Re: Violent, mean, and evil people |
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| Saleema |
| 10/10/00 at 00:10:53 |
| Assalamoalykum, that's a short, short story that she wrote not a poem. :) Arshad, those are answers perhaps only a abuser may be able to answer, with the exceptions of psychologists and sociologists. And the most common thing that I have heard of is that they have suffered abuse themselves and that is why they abuse their loved ones. But I like this one better: I don't know where I read this, but I read that these kind of people are cowards and that's all. There's no more story to it. They know that women are weaker than them and can't do much so they come home abuse them. Same way with their children. Women abuse children because they can't do anything back to them. They take out their frustration and rage out on people who can't defend themselves very well or not all, instead of taking out their rage on those who actually are giving them a hard time. Co-workers, friends, the boss. It's not about loosing a job or loosing a friend, its not even about the money and providing for the family that they go home and torment, its about getting hit back. And feeling the pain. Wassalam |
| Re: Violent, mean, and evil people |
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| bhaloo |
| 10/10/00 at 01:05:11 |
| slm So what your saying is that because they were abused they take out their rage and frustration on other people, because they can't take it out on their initial abuser? That sounds pretty cowardly to me. So then this pattern of violence continues? |
| Re: Violent, mean, and evil people |
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| Terri |
| 10/10/00 at 09:06:25 |
| Hi Arshad, You know, I don't think it is possible to understand why mean and/or evil people behave the way they do. I was recently hurt (emotionally, not physically) by someone I trusted very much, and have spent the last month driving myself crazy trying to figure out why, to no avail. We can search for reasons and - in some cases - excuses, but in the end I think we can never really know another's mind. Do you think that to truly understand evil we must lose a bit of ourselves to it? Terri |
| Re: Violent, mean, and evil people |
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| bhaloo |
| 10/10/00 at 11:34:01 |
| Hi Terri, Isn't it strange that the people we trust are the ones that hurt us? Perhaps because we let down our guards, and don't expect them to do so. With regards to us losing ourselves to evil, I have a different outlook on things. I think from these challenges in life we insha'Allah (God willing) grow from these experiences and are more careful and cautious in the future. Trusting people again becomes difficult. |
| Re: Violent, mean, and evil people |
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| Saleema |
| 10/10/00 at 13:42:10 |
| Oh the trust thing again. Terri, I have been hurt (emotionally) by the people I trust too. What I have learned is this: never trust anyone! Wassalam |
| Re: Violent, mean, and evil people |
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| mahsou411 |
| 10/11/00 at 22:51:27 |
| Salaam, Saleema, sometimes I feel that way too. But at the same time I think we should be able to trust but just be VERY cautious about who you trust. In my Social Problems class today we discussed racism and why people in power (cops) abuse the system to discriminate against people of color in this country. We decided....Becauase they can! They have this power so they want to use it for their own interests. It all comes down to people power trippin and knowing that they can "get away" with it whether it is pulling over a car simply because they person is Black or Hispanic, palnting eveidence (this is real stuff guysm not "Conspiricy theories") or abusing your wife or kids. When people are weak and need to "feel" strong they excersise power in all sorts of evil ways. I think we as Muslims who are suposed to fight opresion wherever it is need to look at the opression that is going on in this country. Institutionalized racism is not dead. We need to put a stop to it and urge our "leaders" to take a serious look at the racism and discriminatio that effects everyone! People of color, the disabled, women, MUSLIMS and on and on. We have been given soooo much evidence of it in this class. Insha'AllahI will try and post it soon. |
| Re: Violent, mean, and evil people |
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| Terri |
| 10/12/00 at 09:09:23 |
| Hi Saleema, I agree it is difficult to trust, especially after being hurt, but to not trust anyone seems awfully bleak to me :). I think the thing to do, when someone has betrayed you and knocked you to the ground, is to look up and see who is offering you a hand up. THOSE are the people you can trust. Terri |
| Re: Violent, mean, and evil people |
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| Saleema |
| 10/12/00 at 09:47:37 |
| Assalamoalykum, I guess you guys are right. But I will save my trust for my husband. That is the only person I plan on trusting. :) wassalm |
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