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Kids fighting
tq
11/08/00 at 16:35:14
Assalamo elikum What should we teach our children specially boys what to do when some class fellow hits/kicks them  ? I always taught my boys not to hit anyone etc but if some one tries to hit them they should tell the teacher, but recently in my older boy 's class (first grade) some of the boys are hitting each other and he has been hit/kicked couple of times. Of course this happens in the play ground when the teacher is not looking at them and most of the times the boys who hit other kids get warnings but this keep happening. Recently I told my son to tell the teacher if somebody hits him and if they do it again, hit them back (was I wrong ?) Today my son's teacher told me that my son has been given warning because he has hit back a boy who was hitting him first and they both have to go through punishment since both of them knew that they shouldn't be fighting in the school. Ofcourse I understand this but I am kind of confused I don't want my son to be fighting but also I don't want him to be a punching bag for other kids! Any opinions, advice? Thanks Wasalam tq

Re: Kids fighting
Saleema
11/08/00 at 17:26:48
Assalaoalykum, I always hated that rule in school and never followed it. I always defended myself if someone hit me, but I never in my life, not once, hit a kid first. I still hate that rule and I'm in college now. I teach my siblings to fight back if someone hits them. My sister came home one time with a nasty bruise and tears in her big lovely eyes. My heart broke, because I can't stand it when my siblings cry, especially the younger ones who are still in elementry school. (We are seven siblings)   Anyway, she had been telling the teacher and all the teacher had been doing was giving warnings. I taught my sister how to punch and where to punch and no one has messed with her ever again alhamdullilah! (And no, she hasn't turned into a bully, like the schools say a child will. If you defend yourself you don't become a bully. My mother disagrees with me however. If the school systems gave more than just warnings, then I wouldn't have taught her that. But they don't. Kids who are picked on by their peers and don't stick up for themselves, will get picked on later in middle and high school and the bullyin gets worse. Since she is a girl, (my sis), I want to make sure that people know from day one that she is one Muslim girl that no one better touch. As she will grow older, the kids will realize that she is different from them, (they already do and they make fun of her for that), and that will make her a target. But if she sticks up for herself, like I did while going to school, people won't mess with her, and those that could have become possible enemies, will become her friends. It happened to me, I know how it is. I don't want my sister to got through the stuff that I hear other Muslim girls go through when they get older. wassalam

Re: Kids fighting
Harisa
11/09/00 at 00:51:03
wow...saleema knows how to fight...lol im taking tae kwon do or kickboxing next semester...ill learn a thing or two insha Allah lol maybe i could practice on you Saleema lol just kiddddinnggggg Wassaaaalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam

Re: Kids fighting
Kashif
11/09/00 at 09:03:22
Fantastic answer Saleema! But i can imagine your siblings saying to bullies "don't mess or i'll call my big sister!" LOL Kashif Wa Salaam
NS

Re: Kids fighting
bhaloo
11/09/00 at 11:28:03
slm Out of curiosity how many of you have been in any fights (physical ones) ?  I'm guessing that none of the brothers have (and no we aren't sissies).

Re: Kids fighting
Saleema
11/09/00 at 14:36:55
Assalamoalykum, Pls, Arshad, I bet soooooooo many guys on this board have gotten in fights.  If not that really goes to show..... ahem........         :-) I got in a couple of fights. All in middle school though. wassalam

Re: Kids fighting
Arsalan
11/09/00 at 14:51:45
Twice.  Last time was as a sophomore in High School, I think.

Re: Kids fighting
se7en
11/09/00 at 14:56:45
wa alaykum as salaam wa rahmatAllah, HEY, don't abuse the sister smiley like that!!!:P Arsalan, how did you get in a fight? I hit a guy with a book once... but he deserved it.

Re: Kids fighting
Saleema
11/09/00 at 15:21:10
Assalamoalykum, abuse? what abuse?  :-) Hey se7en, you go girl!! I punched a guy once and he deserved it. He pulled my scarf and said, "What do you wear that for?" Even though my scarf didn't fall off my head, I still turned around and punched him hard enough for him to double over. His pure intention was to get the others to laugh at me and he didn't want to know why I wore it, I could tell it just by the smirk on his face. In seventh grade, I beat up a football player. ;D After that no one messed with me *ever.* wassalam

Re: Kids fighting
bhaloo
11/09/00 at 19:41:35
slm [quote] I hit a guy with a book once... but he deserved it. [/quote] Se7en, was this guy Lightningatnite? ???  :( Arsalan, really?  What happened? Saleema, everyone must be scared of you, a football player? woah. When you punch something solid with your fist, aren't you supposed to do it with the side of your fist, because if you do it directly, your hand can break?  I could be wrong but I thought that's how those kung-fu people do it also?

Re: Kids fighting
Kashif
11/09/00 at 19:41:11
[quote]When you punch something solid with your fist, aren't you supposed to do it with the side of your fist, because if you do it directly, your hand can break?  I could be wrong but I thought that's how those kung-fu people do it also?[/quote] After reading that i think that you're the only one on this board who ever got into -1 fights. *smile* Kashif Wa Salaam

Re: Kids fighting
Arsalan
11/10/00 at 10:14:15
[quote]Arsalan, how did you get in a fight?[/quote]Some immature kid in high school started messing with me at the bike racks outside school before school started.  It started with trash talk from him, and I responded appropriately (although not using a single cuss word).  Then he started charging (he seemed pretty relentless because of his home-boy standing next to him ... I was alone), and I wasn't about to let him do whatever he wanted! The rest ... I'd rather not talk about it!  I was lucky though that his homie ended up holding him back rather than joining forces with him against me!  Otherwise, who knows what could have happened. If I was in the same situation today though, I'd probably walk away from the idiot with a satiristic smile on my face!   I still wouldn't stop talking back though ;-) Wassalamu alaikum.

Re: Kids fighting
Malika
11/10/00 at 11:52:42
Assalaam Alaikum Well we have the army together now :) OK Saleema, where do you punch someone?(just want to clarify) I had one fight in middle school and they made me fight because I would just walk away. but after that I didn't have anymore. :) But TQ to answer your question...you have to teach your children to defend them selves and you have to stand by them when they have to do it.  You must let them know the difference between starting fights and defending themselves in one.  I taught my son to defend himself in school and I had to go to the school once because he had a fight.  the principal told me about the school policy on fighting. I told him my policy on fighting regarding my child.  My child was not going to be a punching bag for any bullie that prys on children who will not defend themselves.

Re: Kids fighting
Saleema
11/10/00 at 13:56:04
Assalamoalykum, I agree with you Malika. I punched him in the stomach. Saleema, everyone must be scared of you, a football player? woah. Brother Arshad, that was middle school. I gurantee you no football player will be scared of me *now*, my age or older than me that is. In middle school, the guys were my height usually or a couple of inches shorter. This guy was my height, and the reason I beat him up was that he said something about my mother. After that, I couldn't resist but to beat the day lights out of him. And yes, I am very proud of this accomplishment and as you can see I like to show off about it too.  ;D I did earn the respect of my peers and especially the guys and I think that is one of the reasons why no one ever bothered me about my hijab as some of the other girls. Wassalam

Re: Kids fighting
bhaloo
11/10/00 at 14:43:56
slm [quote] After reading that i think that you're the only one on this board who ever got into -1 fights. *smile* [/quote] HEY! My impression of you Brits is that you guys don't fight, but instead do things "proper" and "gentlemenly".  I imagine that you guys were taught to take out pistols and walk 10 paces aim at each other and fire.  Then the bystanders cheer on the victor and say, "Good show, chappy.  I do say you are rather good with a pistol.  Oh dear, isn't it tea time?"  ;) But its true, I haven't been in a physical fight, alhumdullilah.  I think people just step back and say woah, I don't want to mess with that dude, he could hurt me.  I remember once 2 guys came to my door to sell me something and when I opened it I wasn't smiling.  One got scared, took a few steps back, put his hands up near his face and apologized, heheheheh. Arsalan, should someone insult you, offend you, or aim to fight you, then walk away from him, and do not avenge yourself, let Almighty Allah (SWT) exonerate and defend you.  Know that Allah will give you your justice and will not wrong you.
NS

Re: Kids fighting
Malika
11/10/00 at 16:36:40
Assalaam Alaikum Br. Arshad that might work for grownups (Arsalan) but what about the little children as in TQ's original post.  It is a tad more difficult for them to understand that concept. how should the little ones handle it and what kind of advice should mothers give the little boys or the soldiers in training girls? (couldn't resist that one Saleema;) )

Re: Kids fighting
Saleema
11/10/00 at 21:35:14
Assalamoalykum, Just so that no one gets a bad impression about me:  :)  I am a very nice person, usually, :) and my philiosophy is that first peaceful means and then you should fight if attacked. I think all the parents should sign up their kids (especially the girls) for defense classes. You never know when you might need it. wassalam

Re: Kids fighting
se7en
11/11/00 at 00:26:59
as salaamu alaykum, [quote] Se7en, was this guy Lightningatnite? [/quote] Heh, no.  It was actually this loser at school, tried to put his arm around me.  It was not a friendly gesture.  I hit him pretty hard, he didn't mess with me after that. It's things like that that make me wish the brothers in my school actually stood up and defended the sisters.

Re: Kids fighting
Nazia
11/11/00 at 00:45:34
Salam, [quote] It's things like that that make me wish the brothers in my school actually stood up and defended the sisters[/quote] I know!  Well, we didn't have that many Muslim brothers in my school, but it would have been nice.  I've never been in a *fight fight*  but once, in high school, this guy came up behind me and lifted me up off the ground(?!?!), and maaaaan I kicked him plenty until he put me down, and to top it off, I was screaming at the top of my lungs.  Ohh, he put me down alright.  I think he got scared, he wasn't expecting such a LOUD response, from such a small person :)  He didn't really think he was doing anything wrong--just messing around, but I made it *quite* clear I never wanted him to even think about touching me again.  I was just really caught off guard and perhaps I didn't handle it the way I should have, but it did accomplish the immediate goal :) I'm glad high school is over :) tq--If I remember correctly, you live in birmingham,AL right?  I'm from huntsville and over here the adminstration *will* paddle students that get into fights.  I used to be an office aide and boys would come in, go to the "back room" and literally get paddled! with a freakin board!!  Girls too!  My first grade teacher even hit me once! :(  And I was just making a scary face in the hallway :(  Thats why I can't believe they are so slack on bullies down there! Take Care,wassalam! Take Care,

Re: Kids fighting
Saleema
11/11/00 at 02:04:34
Assalamoalykum, girls, i have been in similar situations! This guy, we shared a love for poetry and were editors of the literary magazine for our high school-- and he thought we were close from that perspective, rushed towards me and picked me up and swung me around!! I was shocked, terrified and embarrased!! I didnt scream but i told him to put me down in a squeky voice as everyone was watching!! My teacher who knows a little about Islam told him to put me down. Man, my heart was beating wildly! I couldn't believe that he actually did that! (He said later on that he was just excited about seeing me.) To be honest I was more scared than angry at that moment. I was afraid I was going to fall. The more I thought about it the more angrier I got later on in the day. And the more my face would turn red each time I thought about it, because I would imagine all the idiot muslim guys at my school talking bad about me. Over here, girls who are "sunnah followers," (its used as an insult) are slandered a lot over things that they didnt do or they blow little things out of proportion.   :( anyway, gots to go wassalam

Re: Kids fighting
jannah
11/11/00 at 11:45:53
Same thing used to happen to me in the computer rooms of the university when I worked there. Guys would just put their arm around me or just pat me on the back or something. You have to be real strict in the beginning. I just used to say "Don't touch me!! Please don't do that again."  I know they thought I was weird and nazi like about it. I don't think Americans esp guys at university have a concept of personal space, it's natural for them so you have to set limits! :-)

Re: Kids fighting
Sara
11/11/00 at 19:05:03
Assalam, Man,I use to get in fights all the time in elementary and Junior High School and only once in High School. When I was in elementary and JR. High,I thought I was all hard and tough. I grew up in a bad neighborhood,so I saw fights all the time. I use to start the fights to show-off and plus of my attitude problem. The one in high school, this girl started it and so I finish it. I am sooooo glad people in my college aren't worried about fights. So far,I haven't seen any lately. Which is good.

Re: Kids fighting
jawadio
11/12/00 at 00:23:59
BWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA saleema that is tooooooooooooooooooo funny (and obviously wrong and unfortunate etc etc etc) but hahahahahahahahhahaha there's a few situations that I have seen like that.  you just gotta pull the perpetrator (male or female) aside and politely say, "Touch me again and you're going to be left-handed from now on, got it?"  if they persist in their crime, you shoot 'em in da kneecaps and make an example outta 'em for the next brave idiot. I live in the south (temporarily) and people are just TOO friendly.  Every girl you meet you're EXPECTED to be shaking their hands, and if you see 'em around regularly then you're in trouble...  What's worse is that my campus is about 70% female!  I'm not even going to comment on all the whack situations I been in cause bhaloo bear there won't lemme live 'em down... haahhaha I just can't wait to graduate and get OUT... (INSHA ALLAH!!!) as for fights: I been in my share... some of 'em I started, but all of 'em I ended :)))) hahahaha actually I went to military school for a year so I have seen (and been in) my share of "life on the line" scuffles.  hazing (sic) was a norm, and if you didn't toughen up then you were as good as dead.  Did you ever see that movie "Full Metal Jacket?"  That first half when they's in boot camp was basically what we went through... blanket parties (beating people at night with bars of soap/skateboard wheels in a sock), beat downs, complete mental torture, etc.  good stuff that... only problem with fighting nowadays is that people have no patience and just pull out guns immediately (pansies).  you can't have good old fashion scuffles anymore.  now it's a matter of picking your fights wisely. what's so sad are these people that talk tough behind a computer screen like on irc or AIM or what have you hahahaha I would LOVE to see one of those crackers get brave in real life hahaha anyhow, keep 'em dukes up and we'll see who's standing when the dust clears :)

Re: Kids fighting
se7en
11/12/00 at 00:46:01
Woah, I'm scared.. jawadio has this big bad side to 'em... Military school?  Eep.  I never knew... I ain't gonna mess with you.  :) Can you come to my school and beat up some people for me? :)

Re: Kids fighting
bhaloo
11/13/00 at 11:14:56
slm So much for southern hospitality.  I've never been to the south, was supposed to go to Orlando on some business a few weeks back but decided not to.  I thought military school was where children that misbehaved went? ??? I think its unfortunate that these guys put their arms around you and/or picked you up and twirled you around.  Let me ask this question, if you (guys and girls) had a daughter, how would that make you feel knowing that she would be going to a school like this where there are guys doing this sort of behavior?  Isn't this one of so many reasons why we should work to establish Islamic schools, so situations like this don't occur. Although the behavior at the mosque that I go to isn't much different.  I remember last Eid when people were meeting with each other after the prayers, girls and guys were shaking hands and hugging each other.   I also remember one very embarassing incidence at that mosque.  I was walking in the back section of the parking lot, and wasn't paying attention to anything.  I then heard a noise to my right.  When I looked to my right I saw about 12 girls (15 to 20 year olds) staring at me, smiling, and giggling, one was even biting her tongue.  My face was red with embarassment and I got out of there as quickly as possible.  Fortunately I made it to safety (the main part of the mosque).

Re: Kids fighting
jawadio
11/13/00 at 12:42:36
[quote] I also remember one very embarassing incidence at that mosque.  I was walking in the back section of the parking lot, and wasn't paying attention to anything.  I then heard a noise to my right.  When I looked to my right I saw about 12 girls (15 to 20 year olds) staring at me, smiling, and giggling, one was even biting her tongue.  My face was red with embarassment and I got out of there as quickly as possible.  Fortunately I made it to safety (the main part of the mosque). [/quote] Am I missing something here?  what was so embarassing?  why was they laughing at ya?

Re: Kids fighting
Saleema
11/13/00 at 12:44:43
Isn't this one of so many reasons why we should work to establish Islamic schools, so situations like this don't occur. Yes, we need Islamic schools bad. I also remember one very embarassing incidence at that mosque.  I was walking in the back section of the parking lot, and wasn't paying attention to anything.  I then heard a noise to my right.  When I looked to my right I saw about 12 girls (15 to 20 year olds) staring at me, smiling, and giggling, one was even biting her tongue.  My face was red with embarassment and I got out of there as quickly as possible.  Fortunately I made it to safety (the main part of the mosque). That is so funny. :)  I didn't know Muslim girls could act like that. Well, I have seen my share of things, but that was weird. Girls can be so stupid. What if there was a stupid perverted guy there instead and he decides to hurt them or something, you know? gee Wassalam

Re: Kids fighting
Malika
11/13/00 at 17:24:42
[quote]slm Although the behavior at the mosque that I go to isn't much different.    I was walking in the back section of the parking lot, and wasn't paying attention to anything.  I then heard a noise to my right.  When I looked to my right I saw about 12 girls (15 to 20 year olds) staring at me, smiling, and giggling, one was even biting her tongue.   [/quote] Why do you attend that Mosque if that is the situation?  Doesn't the Imam speak up about this? Second,  How did you see all of that in the split second you were looking? ;)

Re: Kids fighting
bhaloo
11/13/00 at 18:22:23
slm [quote] Am I missing something here?  what was so embarassing?  why was they laughing at ya?[/quote] HELLO! Yes you are missing something, they were trying to mack. ;------------ Malika, why do I attend the mosque?  ???  Huh? Inside the mosque they are pretty good about enforcing things.  For example there is an elderly woman standing outside of the ladies section with hijabs and long skirts in her hands and she makes women put them on that are wearing inappropriate clothing.  Why people even come to the mosque with their awrah exposed is beyond me.

Re: Kids fighting
Kashif
11/13/00 at 20:06:08
assalaamu alaikum I seem to have missed this thread developing; there are so many enjoyable things to read here. But before i put down what i want to say, i have to take my hat off to Arshad. This is the most hilarious paragraph i've read on this board: [quote]HEY! My impression of you Brits is that you guys don't fight, but instead do things "proper" and "gentlemenly".  I imagine that you guys were taught to take out pistols and walk 10 paces aim at each other and fire.  Then the bystanders cheer on the victor and say, "Good show, chappy.  I do say you are rather good with a pistol.  Oh dear, isn't it tea time?"  ;)[/quote] Masha'allah! If you want to hear an excellent English accent, listen to Marcus from Indy Jones & the Last Crusade. He cracks me up. Anyhow: Se7en - one of the probs we've found over here is that sisters may often experience abuse from people at school, and even though the brothers are there (including practising Muslim teachers) the sisters won't mention it to anyone. So nothing gets done. I think Malika's approach was the best - to make it clear to the teacher that her son wasn't going to end up as a punch bag due to the school's ineffectual anti-bullying policies. I believe that an excellent form of da'wah to non-Muslim kids would be to produce amongst our youth, brothers and sisters who are intelligent and high-performers in their class, while at the same time having a physical presence whereby, no one would mess with them, and perhaps they could also be a force to stop other bullies. Perhaps this is just nonsense, but from my experience, i seemed to get respect from two quarters: the "lads" who i used to hang out with and do "lad-dish" things with, and then others also because i used to be a good student (back in those days). Kashif Wa Salaam
NS

Re: Kids fighting
mahsou411
11/13/00 at 20:15:00
slm Wow this is an interestting thread. Well, I grew up pretty sheltered (even though I was in an inner-city neighborhood with plenty of gangs and street fights), so I didn't get into many. But this girl down the street from me used to come around and beat me up like everyday when I was like 8 or so. One time she even pinned me and slammed my head on the concrete!!!! :( So then my stepfather was like...whoa!  I gotta teach you a few things. So he showed me how to fight back. So I fought her back and then a month or so later I got a swingset in my backyard and she became my mest friend aroud the way (that's what we called our neighborhoods..the way), not kidding. That's how things were when we were kids:-) Then in elementary school I got in a fight with this girl who was waaaay bigger than me (I have always been a shorty) because she said I dropped her glasses.(of course I didn't!) So I had no choice but to bite her. Yep I did it! People were calling me a canibal till they realized that was my only chance so they started routing for the underdaog ;) But the fight got broken up before anybody won. But in response to the first post, if your kid is getting picked on and warnings are not helping I would go down to the school and talk to the teacher and principal and let them know that they must take harsher action against bullies or else they will have hell to pay!!! That's what I would do, or just teach my kid how to kick kafir butt:-) salaam

Re: Kids fighting
maryam
11/13/00 at 22:00:48
Assalam Alaikum, When I saw the subject title of this thread, I admit, it didn't catch my eye. After reading through it though, I was laughing so hard, I'm happy I did. My violent tendencies have been under control for many years now, Masha Allah, but there was one incident that began the whole fight mentality. I remember this especially after having read the stories by Srs. Saleema, Nazia and Se7en. When I was in form three (I think that would be the equivalent of the last year of middle school) I got into this predicament with a one boy in my class. Because I went to a boarding school, there were really no parents to report to, so we had to tell our Teachers if we were being disturbed. This is embarasing so bear with me. I came into class one afternoon, and someone had drawn a female face(it was supposed to be me) and underneath it read, "I Love Maryam A. Muhammad." I was so angry that I ran all the way to the Labor Master's office (the meanest teacher in the whole school) with my eyes filled with tears. I think he thought someone had been shot or something, and came rushing to the class to see what had happened. He got to the class, looked around worriedly then said to me "What happened here?" I showed him the picture on the board, and he said "Well the person didn't say he hated you!" I was so upset! I was so angry that I started crying in front of the whole class. I couldn't believe that he was that insensitive! What was more devastating, the boys in the class had big huge smirks on their faces. From that day on, I was always in a fight with some boy. In the end, my parents had to pull me out of that school, and take me to one where I would actually be learning something. So I guess to answer TQ's question, I think you did the right thing. Sorry if this was too long, but I think fighting is part of growing up. Of course, I won't admit that to my children, but I think it's okay within limits. Wassalam, Maryam

Yeah it's me Wahid but i can't Login
Anonymous
11/13/00 at 23:17:22
About the hitting thing..sokay for you guys but tribal law says i MUST               seek revenge ...*lol*..man the fights i use to get into [moderator's note: wahid email us and we'll reset your password]

Re: Kids fighting
Saleema
11/13/00 at 23:35:43
Assalamoalykum, Maryam, that is really funny!!  :D wassalam

Re: Kids fighting
Asim
11/13/00 at 23:54:56
Assalaamu alaikum, I think the way a person carries him/herself determines to a large extent whether s/he will get into fights or not. Small kids should be taught first to not get involved in any conflicts and to walk away when things become hot. But when need arises they should be ready to respond also. This, however, should be the last resort. Of course, if bullying is a problem then appropriate measures should be taken, including talking to the teachers. Sr. Maryam your mention of form 3 rminds me of my schooling in Nigeria! I don't remember if I got into any significant fights. In secondary school, I was like the math guru in school and no one dared mess with me! :) Otherwise, I won't be solving their math problems! There was one Hindu guy in our class who always used to bad mouth me. I ignored him most of the time. One day I got into a verbal duel with him and things got a little hot. But the rest of the class sided with me and the guy got pushed and showed up the wall! I didn't even have to raise a hand :) Wasalaam.

Re: Kids fighting
tq
11/14/00 at 09:01:24
Assalamo elikuim Thanks for all the advice (and stories :) ) Wasalam tq PS: by the way my son is in Islamic school.

Re: Kids fighting
Malika
11/14/00 at 11:00:48
[quote] Malika, why do I attend the mosque?  ???  Huh?   [/quote] I asked you that not about attending a Mosque per say just that one.

Re: Kids fighting
Malika
11/14/00 at 11:11:46
Assalaam Alaikum The funny thing about all of these stories were they were not even remotely funny at the time.  but looking back over the years you can't help but laugh at the young years!  Maryam you had to have a smile on your face for that one!

Re: Kids fighting
maryam
11/14/00 at 11:45:37
:)

Re: Kids fighting
chachi
11/14/00 at 18:46:51
Easy for you guys revenge is a moral question.. for me it's one of the 3 tribal laws

Re: Kids fighting
proudtobemuslim
11/17/00 at 08:12:49
Assalam-u-Alaikum, What are the other two?... Wait lemme guess: 2. Wear a pugree or die... 3. You are what you eat... i.e. very big, fleshy and hard to catch. Wassalam-u-Alaikum, Uzer

Re: Kids fighting
chachi
12/02/00 at 20:47:21
not quite the other two are hospitality and courage the law of revenge is the most important of all 3 because it has no limits whether you take revenge now or in 30 years you know the story of what sher shah did to the mughals and what happened to the maratha's  uzer...

Re: Kids fighting
slime
06/25/01 at 18:20:59
hmm, when i first came to junior high, this gr. 8 guy pushed me, i guess becuz i wear hijab, i fell, almost got hurt by the water fountain.so i went to the office and complained. MUHAHA, he had detention for a WHOLE week :) now no one messes w/ me, i'm armed with come-backs :D

Re: Kids fighting
Mahmoodah
06/26/01 at 02:15:04
[quote]hmm, when i first came to junior high, this gr. 8 guy pushed me, i guess becuz i wear hijab, i fell, almost got hurt by the water fountain.so i went to the office and complained. MUHAHA, he had detention for a WHOLE week :) now no one messes w/ me, i'm armed with come-backs :D[/quote] salam, sis telling the teachers doesnt always work!!! wen i has hurt in middle skool (coz ppl din like my dress sense ie hijab!!!)  i went n told the teachers, they kept me back after skool, n told my of:( Soon i was not gunna tolerate this, so i punched this gurl, n she got a nose bleed!!!! After that she never hit me again, never mind hittin me, she never talked to me!!  And each time she c'z me, she walks in the other direction!!! Btw, yea i was told off by the teacher, but that went through 1 ear and came out the other!!!:-) wa-salam

Re: Kids fighting
se7en
10/18/01 at 18:11:32
as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatAllah, This thread cracks me up :)  I miss these awesome discussions we used to have back in the day :) something that happened to me recently reminded me of this thread.. In my community we have Jummah in an auditorium.  The sisters actually pray on the stage (it's pretty cool :)) and you have to walk allll the way across the auditorium to get to the sisters area. Well, this Friday after Jummah, a non-Muslim woman who was there learning more about Islam approached me.. she said, I couldn't help but notice the way you walked in.. you really gave this impression of a strong, proud Muslim woman. :o What a crazy thing to say.. I told her, it must be my thug walk :P That completely reminded me of this discussion for some reason :)  Brother Asim's right, it's all about how you carry yourself.  I guess I'm pretty intimidating :P Anyway.. just wanted to bring up the thread.. it reminds me of good times :) take care wasalaamu alaykum.

Re: Kids fighting
bhaloo
10/18/01 at 22:42:08
slm There are 2 things I remembered from this thread, and both were from the same person. 1). [quote] Pls, Arshad, I bet soooooooo many guys on this board have gotten in fights.  If not that really goes to show..... ahem........         I got in a couple of fights. All in middle school though. [/quote] 2). [quote]In seventh grade, I beat up a football player. ;D After that no one messed with me *ever.* [/quote] :o :o :o

Re: Kids fighting
NewJehad
12/05/01 at 15:25:55
""rushed towards me and picked me up and swung me around!! "" ""Guys would just put their arm around me or just pat me on the back "" This is one of the main reasons why it is not a good idea for girls to work or study in mixed invironments.

Re: Kids fighting
Caraj
12/05/01 at 23:22:43
I raised two sons who are now 22 and 23 and responsable young men with wives and homes and great jobs. When they were growing up I always taught them ... "It takes a bigger man to walk away from a fight HOWEVER  :) If in walking away they come after you for seconds ... turn around and clean their clock" A couple times I was called in to school and had to defend what I taught my sons. It's scary now a days as in some public schools (middle and high) police are called and a kid can have a permant record. Which I think is stupid. I don't envey anyone raising kids now a days. My new husband and I are planning a family and if we have children they WILL NOT go to public school.

Re: Kids fighting
Caraj
12/05/01 at 23:25:32
P.S. Forgot to say where I live in the schools anyone caught hitting and fighting are suspended. Doesn't matter who started it, both are suspended. I myself do not agree with that. 1 st grade isn't to bad but most middle and high school kids won't go to a teacher or they would get teased worse by their peers.

Re: Kids fighting
gift
12/06/01 at 03:50:12
[slm] well, i broke my arm when i was seven so i'd just gone back to school after abt 5 weeks with the final plaster cast on, and this guy was teasing me and my best friend so i smacked him over the head with the arm that was in the cast. well, he never bothered us again! (plz don't try this at home i could have really hurt him ) also my parents always taught me (especially 'cause i've always been a shorty too :( ) that if someone hits u, hit them back and then run and tell the teacher :) :) - it worked as well! [wlm]

Re: Kids fighting
se7en
12/06/01 at 12:09:29
[quote]This is one of the main reasons why it is not a good idea for girls to work or study in mixed invironments. [/quote] And for this same reason, Muslim guys should try not to work or study in mixed environments.  Right?

Re: Kids fighting
abdulsamad
12/07/01 at 13:58:21
Assalamu 'Alaikum, [quote] And for this same reason, Muslim guys should try not to work or study in mixed environments.  Right? [/quote] It applies to both brothers and sisters. Unfortunately isn't it virtually unavoidable in college? Does this mean we should go to an islamic university instead of a secular one? Wassalam p.s. are girls less likely to pat muslims on the back , etc, than guys?

Re: Kids fighting
eleanor
12/07/01 at 14:11:15
slm this reminded me of an incident where my mother stepped in to defend my little bro. Normally she stayed out of kids' fights but this one kid was really being mean. He was always picking on my brother in school. They were roughly 6/7 at the time. Well one day my bro pointed him out to my mother and she went up to him and said "If you ever touch Damien again, I'll twist your head off!" Needless to say, he never touched Damien again! My bro was quite a fighter when he was small. One time when he was only three years old, he was fighting another kid outside on the street. When my aunt called him in and started giving out to him for fighting he shrugged and said "I wasn't fighting I was just showing him a few moves.." At 3!! Add to this the fact that he couldn't even talk properly at the time "a *frew* moves" and it's even more funny in my unbiased opinion. wasalaam eleanor
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