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Job Description!!
widad
11/09/00 at 07:59:44
slm To all moms: > POSITION: Mom> JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term team players needed for > challenging permanent work in an often chaotic > environment. Candidates must possess excellent > communication and organizational skills and be willing > to work various hours, which will include evenings and > weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some > overnight travel required, including trips to > primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless > sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses > not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also> required.> > RESPONSIBILITIES: This is for the rest of your life. > Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily, > until someone needs $5 to go skating. Must be willing > to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the > physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from > zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this > time, the screams from the backyard are not someone > just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating > technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, > mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must > screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate > production of multiple homework projects. Must have > ability to plan and organize social gatherings for > clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be > willing to be indispensable one minute, an > embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and > product safety testing of a half million cheap, > plastic toys and battery operated devices.  Must > always hope for the best but be prepared for the > worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for > the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also > include floor maintenance and janitorial work> throughout the facility.> > POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: > Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same > position for years, without complaining, constantly > retraining and updating your skills, so that those in > your charge can ultimately surpass you.> > PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately. > On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.> > WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them, offering > frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due > when they turn 18 because of the assumption that > college will help them become financially independent. > When you die, you give them whatever is left. The > oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that > you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.> > BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no > pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays > and no stock options are offered, job supplies > limitless opportunities for personal growth and free > hugs for life if you play your cards right.> > ********************************************************************> > Forward this on to all the MOM's you know, in > appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, > and let them know they are appreciated.> > PS: More babies to the moms !!!
NS

Re: Job Description!!
Malika
11/09/00 at 16:51:59
Assalaam Alaikum Thank you Widad! :) I must update my resume!! This should get me at least the additional salary of ...3 more people!

Re: Job Description!!
mahsou411
11/09/00 at 18:09:44
slm That was cute:-)

Re: Job Description!!
Sara
11/10/00 at 19:56:43
Assalam, My mom loved this!!!! She laughed when she read it and said it's too true!!!!

Re: Job Description!!
widad
11/11/00 at 22:08:03
slm The thing that the originator of the topic doesn't know is that Allah will give moms so much compensation in the dunya and much more in the 'akhira'.

Re: Job Description!!
Moe
11/12/00 at 00:01:23
i am gona show this to my mommy!
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