Valentines Day

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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

Valentines Day
Kathy
01/29/01 at 10:55:50
slm
It is around the corner.
If you are in / or went to public school, (talking about 5-7 year olds) how did you handle the valentine day? If you did not hand out the cards- how did you feel about it?
Any advice for me- a mom of a 6 year old?
Re: Valentines Day
se7en
01/29/01 at 13:34:30
wa alaykum as salaam wa rahmatAllahi wa barakatuh,

I don't think it's a good idea to refuse to allow him to participate but still make him attend, because then he's going to have to sit there and watch everyone else make paper bag mail boxes and give each other cards and all of that.

I would suggest, seriously, when the time comes for card exchanges, taking him out of the class and bringing him to McDonald's or something that's a treat for him, so he can do something fun while not participating in that stuff.. if there are other muslims in his class, it would be nice if they all could go and hang out :)

Now, in high school, valentines day has a more x-rated tone, the roses, the love letters, the public displays of affection..

ugh alhamdulillah I'm a senior :)

wasalaam.

Re: Valentines Day
Kashif
01/29/01 at 16:43:12
assalaamu alaikum

Are you kidding me? 5-7 yr old America kids give out Valentine Cards? la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah.

I didn't even know what Valentine's Day was until like 5 yrs later... i.e. my friend told me what it was, not that i received a rose or anything, hehe.

Kashif
Wa Salaam
NS
Re: Valentines Day
BrKhalid
01/29/01 at 16:59:17
Asalaamu Alaikum :)

I was thinking exactly the same thing Kashif

I get the impression that as with Halloween, Valentines Day in the States is a bit more of an occasion than back here across the pond

Out of interest what are the youngsters told at this age as to the meaning of Valentines Day???
Re: Valentines Day
Moe
01/29/01 at 22:42:52
Salaam
I dont think most kids know what Valentine day is. As a kid i didnt know what it was and i dont really think my paretns knew what it was. They bought me cards to take to school and hand out. For kids its not a big dealits just fun. But i dunno if its haram or anything like that.
Re: Valentines Day
Zahra
01/30/01 at 13:49:10
Thought I'd post this here since it applies instead of starting a new thread.  
**************************************
BismillahirRamanirRahim
Dhul Qa'adah, 1421 (January 26, 2001)
AssalamuAlaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Come February and all the gifts, cards, soft-toys, and other personal-effects shops get geared up; restaurants start calling; beach parks etc.; all budgeting extra money on advertising - here's just another great chance to catch fish... Valentine's Day is coming.

They all try to sell us ideas... cute catch phrases, romantic pictures, touchy love stories, hearts all over the place... can't blame them, this is how they make their living.

But do we have to buy all this? Do we have to join in all this pointless Valentine's Day celebrations? Do we think that wasting our money on all these 'Valentine's' cards and gifts is worth it? Do we even know why this is done?
Here is something I received. We'll share in an attempt to answer these questions, InshaAllah:

WHY WE SHOULDN'T CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY

Pagan origins
Roman Lupercalia celebration held on Feb 15, "Feast of the Wolf", associated with the image of a wolf chasing a young girl. Celebrated by gathering young people together in a field and allowing them to act as if they were married.

Christian origins
St. Valentine died on Feb. 14
- He was a Roman Bishop in the 200s
- Marriage was banned for Roman soldiers, Valentine performed secret marriages for them
- He was jailed, tortured, and beheaded for his actions
- He left a note in his jail cell that said "Your Valentine"

Modern celebration
Mixture of pagan immoral celebration with honoring Christian saint became an emphasis on romantic love and unlawful relationships. Image of cupid striking people with his arrow and falling hopelessly in love.

Islamic perspective
- We should avoid anything associated with pagan immoral practices
- We do not need to honor or celebrate the death of a Christian "saint"
- Islam does not encourage flirting or suggestions of romantic relationships before marriage
- Love between families, friends and married people does not need to be celebrated on a day with such un-Islamic origins.


Hope this convinces us to not celebrate this day, InshaAllah.

The Prophet (s) has advised us that if we love somebody we should let them know (of course we know the forbidden relationships are not included in this advise). He (s) said it generally and did not ask us to do it 'on such and such a day'. Prophet (s) didn't ask us to do it only once a year but as often as we can. So are we going to obey him (s) or Mr. Valentine?

The Prophet (s) also said that we should be different from the Jews and the Christians and the unbelievers, so if the nonMuslims are busy celebrating Valentine's let's take the Prophet's (s) words of wisdom and be different.

Why do it on Valentine's anyway? That's a time when our loved ones might be (though hope not) 'expecting' something... do it when they are not expecting anything... the element of surprise will add beauty to your gesture...

Re: Valentines Day
Kathy
01/30/01 at 16:38:02
slm
Over 35 plus years ago we were giving valentines in school. So it has been a long standing tradition in school.
For those of you that had positive experiences (got a card from everyone) it was a nice experience.
For those that were not so popular, it was a sad day.
Most teachers are compassionate and have everyone hand out and give a card, now a days.

I am not asking whether or not to celebrate it- but what were your experiences as a Muslim- to the card handing out experience. If you didn't do it- how did you feel?

I am looking for advice like Se7en gave, particulary about the "card part."

Love is not the atmosphere in these grade levels, it is pretty much based on "be my friend" level.
NS
Re: Valentines Day
Arsalan
01/30/01 at 16:54:00
Sometimes I feel so grateful to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala that I came to this country in 8th grade, and not in Elementary school!  

I think it's a lot easier to deal with these things when you're older than when you're so young!  

May Allah help the Muslim youth ... and my 12 year old brother!

Wassalamu alaikum.
Re: Valentines Day
writeamir
01/30/01 at 23:57:22
Feb. 14, what a perfect day to call in sick! It is right in the middle of the week. The kid could stay home and catch up on his Islamic studies. With the age to begin dating now going down to 9 and 10 year old kids, I would never want a Muslim child to deal with Valentine's Day. Luckily, when I have kids, I will be able to put them in an Islamic School. My recommendation though is to just let the kid skip that day. I remember when I used to get to play computer games in the classroom the whole time that other kids went to music class to learn Christmas songs. The winter months were great. Feb. 14 can be a good day for a Muslim child to stay home and improve his or her knowledge of Islam.
Re: Valentines Day
Kathy
01/31/01 at 09:22:12
slm
Skip the day is great advice. Which is what I do with my child.

The problem is so much bigger than one day. We can not act like ostriches, with our head in the sand. Even if your child goes to a Muslim school- ask them I would guess that they too know about this day.

Valentines Day is not only one day. Our children are surrounded by it, in the stores, on TV, by family memebers (from revert families- grandparents, aunts, uncles).

I wonder how my child feels as the class is decorating mailboxes, days before,for their impending cards. I wonder how his buddies will feel when they didn't get a card from my son, their friend.

I wonder what to do with the valentines the teacher gives to him the next day when he returns to class.

I know my son knows I love him and I tell him all the time. Yet I wonder what he thinks when his friends are talking about the candy or stuffed animals their parents gave them.

As a revert, in the first few years not celebrating Valentines day was tough for me. As many reverts will admit- it is a bit of a melocholy day. Expecially for the woman. For some reason it does not affect the men so much. Wonder why?

I am not writing these thoughts to advocate Valentines day. In fact the posting by Zahra is accurate. I find that we learn from others experiences- so I wonder how you all faired.

Like Arsalan said- it is a lot easier when you come into "this" when you are older. Maybe this isn't effecting my son at all. I m just sure how to handle it. If I ask I am afraid I will put thoughts in his head that are not there. On the other hand I do not want to act like an ostrich...

Re: Valentines Day
Malika
01/31/01 at 16:55:17
slm

Kathy, As a revert myself my experience was a bit different.  Valentines day never held much fasination for me.  It wasn't to celebrate a saint or cupid it was basically a day to tell your husband, friend, whatever, that you apreciate them.  I don't know who celebrates because of a saint or even cupid himself.  I seriously doubt that many would know the history as Zahra has pointed out.  I must say that the modern celebration is not only an emphasis on unlawful relationships as many married couples get their fill of flowers and candy.  I for one don't really like roses and a box of chocolate.  when you gain the weight from the chocolate then its like "Honey, you gained a bit of weight?" :)

As for the school part it was a fun day it was a be my friend day and a chance to let people know that they were nice (you might not have known). as for the card giving the mail box could have been decorated with an Islamic motif.  The cards could be I love Allah don't you cards. (a small dawah opportunity for a youngster)  I say this only for the children.  not to celebrate.  The cards for this age are more "I think you are cool" cards.  

There are several suggestions: Parents can get together and have the school set up a class for the youths who dont participate in such activities and they don't have to miss school and can still learn. (the children will object of course)
As many suggested you can keep the child home.  If your child came home with a card for you would you get upset and throw it away?  oh well here is my 2 cents. just thoughts.  I have not yet reached the point where anything unislamic makes me sick but I am still learning.
Re: Valentines Day
Zahra
01/31/01 at 17:39:23
slm

This is a never-ending problem for our Muslim children.  If it's not Valentine's, it's St. Patricks, or Easter, or Christmas, etc., etc.  If it's not the holidays, it's the lunches (are they halal?) or the content of the curriculum/classroom and what it promotes (homosexuality, unIslamic adoption, unIslamic pride, Western feminism, etc.-yes! all at the elementary level) A Muslim parent can do a lot for her child in this position by working with the school, etc.  However, the child is still at high risk for peer rejection and loss of self-esteem.  The obvious solution is to place our children in Islamic schools-at least for elementary school so that they can build their Islamic characters and personalities and be able to confidently identify with it in a positive and encouraging environment.  Of course, unfortunately, this is not always possible as not all of us have an Islamic school in our area.  In this case, I urge people to start one.  Even if it is just 5-10 children homeschooling together with parents teaching and volunteers from the community. This can even be started in someone's home in an empty room or basement.  

I'm sorry if I've gotten off track.  But we all, I'm sure, have seen those children and youth who have gone astray because they surrendered to the pressures of this society.  May Allah guide them.  I think almost all of this pressure starts in the public schools. The parents are not there with the child.  At home, parents can monitor what their children watch on TV and what they read.  At the stores and in public, they can correct anything they see and parents are there to catch anything that might go wrong. At least a parent is there as the primary influence. As far as schooling goes, we can only trust our children to those who have the same beliefs and practices as us so that they can instill in our children the values and virtues as Muslims, we believe will be our key to jannah, insha Allah.  

Again, sorry if I've digressed.  In any case, Kathy, I think that the best thing you can do is to work and talk with your child's teacher, as much as possible.  Volunteer in her (assuming the teacher's a she) classroom-create a relationship with her so at least, she is aware of what you are looking for from her. And of course, educate your child on Valentine's Day and why Muslims don't celebrate it.  As se7en said, compensate your child's missing out on a school activity with something s/he'll enjoy. Promote Muslim friendships in your child's life and keep his/her confidence high.  May Allah protect your child and raise him/her amongst the Best of His creation.  
Re: Valentines Day
chachi
01/31/01 at 19:38:26

If you handed out a Valentine in my school you were considered a sissy and had your head flushed

                *lol*
Re: Valentines Day
Moe
02/12/01 at 15:26:04
I got this today in my e-mail

Assalaamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakaatuhu
>  
> Valentines Day :
>  
>
> Muslims are advised to distinguish themselves in their external appearance
> adopting Islamic ways and methods in all their affairs, whether worldly or
> Deeni. By this, it is meant that Muslims are recognised and identified by
> a single religious culture or code, which is purely Islamic.
>
> Valentine's day has its origin and significance in the sacrifices of a
> Christian personality. This in itself will quite clearly illustrate to any
> Muslim with even an iota of Imaan how repugnant any involvement or
> recognition of such a day is and to what extent it goes against the spirit
> of Islam. It has always been the Christian and Jewish aim to get Muslims
> to forfeit their identity and take to heart un-Islamic practices, as
> elaborated in the words of Allah Ta'ala, "The Christians and Jews will
> never be happy with you until you follow their ways." (Baqarah 120)
>
> The Islamic viewpoint and reaction to such practices is clearly and
> unequivocally outlined in the following Aayat, "O Believers do not take as
> friends the Christians and Jews ... he amongst you who will befriend them
> is of them (and not of us Muslims)" (Maaidah 51)
>
> By joining them in their occasions of celebration, we will fall well
> within the purview of the warning contained in the above Aayat. Consider
> the grave warning given to us by none other than our Noble Master
> Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam), "He who will imitate a nation
> will be raised up among them on the Day of Qiyaamat." (Mishkaat)
>
> About Valentine Day
>
> The festival of love, which they celebrate on February 14 each year is an
> expression of what they believed in their pagan religion to be divine
> love. This festival was invented more than 1700 years ago, at a time when
> paganism was still prevalent among the Romans. Whilst their state was
> still idolatrous, they executed Saint Valentine, who had converted to
> Christianity after having been a pagan. When the Romans converted to
> Christianity, they made the day of his execution an occasion to celebrate
> the matyrs of love. This festival is still celebrated in America and
> Europe, to declare feelings of friendship and to renew the covenant of
> love between spouses and lovers. This festival now has great social and
> economic significance.
>
> It seems that another practice stemmed from the concept of this feast,
> which is the anniversary celebrated by spouses or friends who love one
> another, where the couple celebrate the anniversary of their marriage each
> year, to confirm the love between them. This custom has passed to the
> Muslims because of their mixing (with the non-Muslims), so that couples
> celebrate the night of their marriage in a special way in many Muslim
> countries, imitating the kuffar. May Allah Ta'ala keep us steadfast on the
> Deen.
>
>  
>
> Jointly Published by
>
> Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) and Jamiatul Ulama (Transvaal)
Re: Valentines Day
Kathy
02/13/01 at 08:37:07
slm

Yesterday I asked the teacher if there was going to be an alternate "play group" for the children who do not celebrate Valentines Day- during their party.

She was surprised- "All the Muslims I have had before have participated."

When I asked around I found it to be true.

Sometimes I feel all alone...

Last night at the PTA (Parent Teachers Association) meeting,it was decided that on Teacher Appreciation Day they did not want to do coffee and cookies.
Instead they are going to have a massage therapist come in and give a stress relief massage to all the staff.

No one even understood my point that a woman massaging the men- teachers, principal, janitors during school hours was inappropiate.

When the vote came - it was 20 to 1.
NS
Re: Valentines Day
Anonymous
02/13/01 at 22:41:27
Assalam'alaykum Kathy,

Dear sister, keep in mind the hadith in which the Prophet (sallalahu
'alayhi wa sallam) said: Islam began as something strange and it shall
return as something strange; so give glad tidings to the strangers.

I have the same problem as you regarding so-called "muslims" at school
who let their children participate in kuffar festivals.  Today, I sent
a note to the teacher to tell him that my child will stay at home
tomorrow.  I strongly recommand that you keep your child at home, because
even if he doesn't participate in valentine's activities, he will spend
the day in the valentine's atmosphere, everybody will talk about it,
etc.  Allahu'alam, but I think there is more harm than benefit in sending
him to school.

Take care,
Wassalam
NS
Re: Valentines Day
Kathy
02/14/01 at 09:53:31
slm
Nice Hadith- never heard it before- but will use it alot !

Se7en suggested the same thing about keeping my son home. Which is what I have done in the past.

Yesterday the principal told me that they will set up a room for all the non participating children during the party time. The school is culturally diverse- we have other orthodox type religions.

So I has happy and impressed that he took my concern seriously and got a staff member to do this. I offered to volunteer and go in and read a story during this time.

Insha Allah it is the right thing to do. I want to build bridges with the school- not fences.
Re: Valentines Day
Kathy
02/14/01 at 16:16:58
slm
We expected about 20 kids- 2 came.
They were Jehovah Witnesses.

I checked out the sign out/abscence book- no Muslims there either.

I am so sad.....
Re: Valentines Day
Nazia
02/14/01 at 22:51:52
Sr. Kathy,
I think you are awesome! Masha'Allah.  Keeping your child at home would have been an easy solution, but you went out of your way in an effort to provide an alternative to other Muslim children and etc..Subhan'Allah.  Anyways, just wanted to let you know :)
Wassalam,
Nazia
Re: Valentines Day
Kathy
02/15/01 at 09:12:49
slm

Thanks- It was nice of you to offer your kind words.

Now I am trying to figure out what I need to do.

Why do you think no one showed up? Since many of our population are foreigners- perhaps they do not realize what is happening in their childrens schools- since it is not celebrated in thier countries.

Then I have to wonder about the reverts. From personnal experience I know that giving up these holidays are painful and hard. However, once you have a child- you are responsible for them. So no matter where you are with your personnal struggles, you have to do the right thing in front of your children.

Re: Valentines Day
Al-Basha
02/16/01 at 02:54:25
Salamu Aliakom,

Sis, lemme relate to you a "Valetines" incident that happened to me oh so long ago, back in the 4th grade.

So it was Valetines day and all of us had this project of making valentines mailboxes. Of course the whole concept of Valentines was completely alien to me so I had no idea why we were doing this. My parents alhamdulilah had explained to me that Valentines is outside Islam etc. So naturally when I went to class I flat out refused to make the mailbox. In fact I remember being given the materials and instead of making a Valentines box I ended up making a paper airplane/space ship. The teacher got mad, and sent me outside the classroom. Then other students started yelling and saying "if he doesn't get to do it, i don't want to either", seems like I caused a little revolution in the classroom ;)

Anyway, I got sent back inside and when my mom came to pick me up she had this big argument with the teacher about Valentines and how she had no right to send me outside because I didn't want to participate in their kufr.

The bottom line is, let the teachers and the school staff that there is a Muslim student in their school and that they need to make certain religious accomodations for your son. If they refuse take it up with the school district. And sis I'm very happy to hear that masha Allah you are taking part of your sons education, because I know a lot of Muslim parents who either don't know about the things that go on at the public schools or even worse, can't be bothered to take an active role in their childrens school life.

Allahu A3laam. What we need is solid Islamic schools. You know honestly if we had decent Islamic schools, with qualified teachers and resources then I'd have no problem with paying whatever fee to send my kids to that sort of school. I'm not even married yet, but already I am worrying about the idea of sending my future kids insha Allah to public schools. Is home schooling a good avenue then? Allahu A3laam
Re: Valentines Day
jannah
02/16/01 at 03:06:59
walaikum salaam wrt,

al-basha did you meet lightingatnite yet? :)

i think islamic schools really need alot of support. even if they are not the best academically or money wise still send your kids there. over time these schools will develop and with the support of communities and families they will become first rate institutions inshallah.

home schooling is an alternative for those who may live totally isolated in places where there are no islamic schools, but our goal should be an islamic schools system. the kids who go to islamic schools are leagues ahead in intelligence, understanding and faith in my opinion. they have a solid base from which to live their lives. i'm really happy you're concerned for your kids. i see so many parents who are clueless about what their kids are really doing and learning and don't bother teaching them anything. then there are the concerned parents who call me on my cell and ask me what lesson they should go over with their kids for next friday :) every time they call i just hang up with a big silly grin on my face... may Allah reward them and let their children grow up to be true mujahideen.
Re: Valentines Day
chachi
02/23/01 at 22:16:21

hmm are kids getting more stupid or is it just american kids...when we were like 7 years old and had to sing hymns we ALWAYS  used to go stuff like blah blah blah when it got to a bit we didn't believe in and our parents didn't tell us any of this stuff we just picked it up from other kids
Re: Valentines Day
Kathy
02/04/02 at 09:55:19
slm

It is around the corner again. We have a lot of fresh faces on the board since this was posted.

I am wondering what their thoughts are.

Give me some replies- other than the standard- 'it's not our holiday' to give to a 7 year old when he questions- why Muslims don't give out cards of friendship to their classmates.


Re: Valentines Day
kiwi25
02/04/02 at 10:43:05
salam,

when i was 5-7 years old, i actually did participate in those activities...:(, i was never told not to do this....

it was more of halloween that the parents came to get us from the parties in school, and took us home early:),

jus take your child home, he doesnt need to go through "be mine" and "i love you" candies, its gonna be hard to explainto a 6 year old child about a holiday of love that we dont celebrate,

but tell him eid ul adha is around the corner too ;)

wasalam
nouha:)
Re: Valentines Day
Kathy
02/04/02 at 10:59:46
slm

I posted this as a FYI.

The Origins of Valentine's Day
                               
The Feast of Lubercus

    The first interpretation has this celebration originating as a pagan tradition in the third century.During this time hoards of hungry wolves roamed outside of Rome where shepherds kept their flocks.

   The God Lupercus, was said to watch over the shepherds and their flocks and keep them from the wolves. Every February the Romans celebrated a feast called Lupercalia to honor Lupercus so that no
harm would come to the shepherds and their flocks.

    Every year the Romans celebrated a young man’s rite of passage to the god Lupercus by holding a lottery in mid-February. In honor of the goddess Juno Februata, the names of willing teenage girls
were placed in a box and drawn at random by teenage men. By this lottery a young man was assigned a young woman companion for their mutual pleasure (often sexual) for the duration of a year. After the
year was up another lottery was held.  This celebration continued long after wolves were a problem to Rome.

     As Christianity spread and the leaders of the Church resolved to do away with this practice by picking a “lover’s” saint to replace the god Lupercus. They picked Valentine, a bishop who had been
martyred in the third century A.D. for the cause of love.

St. Valentine's Day

         Valentine's Day was originally created as a substitute.  As Christianity became prevalent, priests attempted to replace old heathen practices. In the fifth century A.D., the Catholic Church attempted to be rid of a common pagan fertility rite that the Romans had been taking part in since the fourth century B.C.

         While it can't be proved historically, there were seven men named Valentine who were honored with feasts on February 14th. Of these men, two stories link incidents that could have given our present day meaning to St. Valentine's Day. One of these men named Valentine was a priest during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Valentine was revered by the young and old, rich and poor, with people of all walks of life attending his services

          Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II - Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular military campaigns. Claudius the Cruel, as he was known at the time, was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. The men preferred not to leave their wives, families and sweethearts to fight in foreign lands. Claudius became angry and declared that no more marriages could
be performed and all engagements were canceled.

   Valentine, bishop of Interamna, disagreed with the emperor and invited young lovers to come to him in secret to be married. When Claudius found that he was performing secret marriage ceremonies,
he was incensed. He had Valentine seized and brought before him. When Valentine refused to change his views and renounce Christianity, he was put in prison to await execution. Tradition tells us that
while Valentine was in prison he corresponded with those under his care by sending little letters and love notes to those in his parish. It is also believed that while he was in prison the bishop fell in love with the blind daughter of the jailer, Asterius, and that God enabled him to miraculously restore her sight. Tradition tells us that his farewell message to her contained a closing  "From Your Valentine."  In February 14, of 270 AD, Valentine was clubbed, stoned, and then beheaded.  
   
   In A.D. 496, Pope Gelasius outlawed the Lupercian festival, but cleverly retained the lottery, because he was aware of the Roman’s love for games of chance. But now instead of names of women
in the box, there were placed names of saints. Men and women both picked slips of paper and for the upcoming year they were expected to imitate the life of the saint whose name they had drawn.  

   Traditionally, mainly due to the Lupercian lottery, mid-February was a Roman time to meet and court prospective mates. While the Lupercian lottery was replaced, most Roman young men were
not totally satisfied with the lottery of saints’ names and the new lottery did not last long. Instead the young men instituted a custom of offering women they admired and wished to court handwritten
greetings of affection on February 14. The cards became known as Valentine’s Day Cards.

    To Christianize the ancient pagan celebration of the Feast of Lubercus, the church officials changed the name to St. Valentine's Day. To give the celebration further meaning and eliminate pagan
traditions, priests substituted the drawing of saints names for the names of the girls. On St. Valentine's Day the priest placed saints' names into an urn or box. The young people then drew a name from the
container. In the following year, the youth was supposed to emulate the life of the saint whose name he had drawn.

    By the fourteenth century they reverted back to the use of girls' names. In the sixteenth century they once again tried to have saintly valentines but it was as unsuccessful as the first attempt.
NS
Re: Valentines Day
Anik
02/04/02 at 11:40:34
asalamu alaikum

Women massaging men and so on?

no surprise sister Kathy,

its not in their belief system. simple. to point it out to them won't make sense to them, because to them, platonic touching is okay. Many muslims will vouch for this as well perhaps (Allah forgive me for saying if I say wrong).

Its like going to a hindu council and voting for bef sandwiches for the annual dinner. Or a Christian on a muslim council asking for music about Jesus.  

oh man lol I hardly realized this is from last year... just noticed... so I guess Sr. Kathy, that I can't pick up on a past point lol.


Well anyways, why not take your kid out and give him a card, not with valentines, but just a regular card, or encourage brother and sister to give a regular card or something, so that we, he gets a card and the take him out.  He doesn't lose out, and giving a card is not particpating either. Just like an oridinary card.  aslaamu alaikum. abdullah,.
Re: Valentines Day
M.F.
02/04/02 at 13:54:31
Assalmau alaikum wa rahmatullah
I have no idea how I'd deal with a situation like that.  Even if I let my child skip school for a day, the issue is much bigger than just one day!  By now your son's probably old enough to realize that there's a lot of things he doesn't participate in and he understands it's because he's Muslim.  Over time he'll probably realize more and more that he's going to be left out of more and more things.  May Allah give you the strength to explain it to him, and give him the strength to understand and accept and feel proud to be a Muslim.
I often think how Islam has no need for holidays to express love.  Valentine's day, mother's or father's day etc, I mean for us we're supposed to show love and appreciation to our loved ones all the time.  And we're not just supposed to be good around Christmas time only :)  The way we Muslims live our lives (or are supposed to) is what these holidays are trying capture, and it just doesn't work that way.  You don't just treat your wife nice for one day and ignore her the rest of the time, and you don't show love and respect towards your mother for just one day out of the year...
I wonder if your son is old enough to grasp that... He sounds from what you've said about him like he's very intelligent and mature for his age ma sha Allah and I'm sure he'll understand what you tell him.
For actual valentine's day, well maybe this skipping school business will become your own special tradition :-)


Re: Valentines Day
momineqbal
02/05/02 at 01:57:21
[slm],

Here is something on soundvision although it doesn't have any direct tips for school kids. [url=http://www.soundvision.com/Info/valentine/9tips.asp]9 Tips and ideas for muslim parents[/url]

Some more stuff on soundvision:
[url=http://www.soundvision.com/Info/valentine/affection.asp]Affection in Islamic culture[/url]

[url=http://www.soundvision.com/Info/valentine/history.asp]Valentine's day, where did it come from?[/url]

[url=http://www.soundvision.com/Info/valentine/overview.asp]Valentine's Day: A Muslim view[/url]

[url=http://www.soundvision.com/Info/valentine/perspective.asp]What happens in public school on this day[/url]

[url=http://www.soundvision.com/Info/valentine/resolutions.asp]Tweleve Valentine's Day resolutions[/url]

Wassalam
Eqbal
Re: Valentines Day
SuperHiMY
02/07/02 at 02:53:43


        I would send off my Child to School with Eid-Al-Adha Cards
        for the WHOLE Class! For The Teach' too!

       
       

        And in conclusion, remember CUPID MAKES YOU STUPID !














Re: Valentines Day
SaadZ
02/07/02 at 11:38:33
when i was in elementary school, we did the  mailbox thing too and the teacher would give us a list of everyone in our grade divided by classes and we would make cards for everyone. i did only in 1st grade and then my parents said it was a waste of money so i didnt do it again.hehehe. basically now to us muslim seniors in high school, we made it a day for friends. last year i just got my muslim sisters a teddy bear. its not that big of a deal to us. at our high school ,they use valentines day as a fundraiser and sell candy and flowers and singing telegrams. but even to the non Muslims in my community, its not taht big of a deal.

my 2 cents
saadia
Re: Valentines Day
siddiqui
02/07/02 at 13:28:12
assalam alikum
Iam overwhelmed

Boy!
Life in here is a struggle both for kids & their parents
may Allah swt help us  all


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