Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Illigetimate Babies |
|---|
| Kathy |
| 01/29/01 at 11:08:08 |
| slm What are your thoughts? In your community has any Muslimah had one? How did the community handle it? A friend of mine is torn on how to act. From what she tells me it seems like the mom and grandmother are very happy and proud and everyone is fawning over the baby. Of course, no baby carries the sins of his parents, and according to fatwa the baby can not carry the name of the out of wedlock father. So what is the question?- My friend is wondering what her Islamic duty is in addressing the situation. She is concerened because it seems as if no one is "hush hush" or showing "shame" over the situation. |
| Re: Illigetimate Babies |
|---|
| BrKhalid |
| 01/29/01 at 12:02:44 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum :) Speaking personally, I've never come across the issue. Now I don't know whether that's a reflection of the circles I move in or the fact that the respective parties do a good job at keeping these things under wraps. Probably a bit of both. I'm not sure that publicity is particularly helpful, maybe a few good caring Muslims speaking to the parties involved? Btw when you say out of wedlock, I'm assuming you mean out of Nikah |
| Re: Illigetimate Babies |
|---|
| chachi |
| 01/31/01 at 20:05:14 |
Never Come Across It myself either Heard of Shotgun wedding though *grin* |
| Re: Illigetimate Babies |
|---|
| Anonymous |
| 02/01/01 at 17:08:09 |
[quote]In your community has any Muslimah had one? How did the community handle it? [/quote] salaam, this wasn't in my own community but I know a sister (Muslim) who was dating a guy (non-Muslim) and she got pregnant and had the baby. She would bring the baby with her everywhere she went and was so proud of the fact that she had a baby. She really had no shame or repentance in the matter and from what I hear the mom didn't care too much either. Well, yah this is rare but it's the only story I've heard that I can say I know the sister. I don't see any what anyone can do cuz the damage has been done. Unfortunately, sisters like this are very bad examples. The signs around us are only intensifying |
| Re: Illigetimate Babies |
|---|
| SuperHiMY |
| 02/01/01 at 19:34:38 |
AsalamAlay.com, Y'know, think about what you all typed above...that Other than the single example sister Kathy posted up there, We all can't think of OTHER examples of this situation...hmmm...as far as different Ummahs go, I'd say that's pretty good eh? Eventually, the baby will grow up InshAllah and will ask these questions to those family members around him/her. ~ HiMY! ~ |
| Re: Illigetimate Babies |
|---|
| se7en |
| 02/01/01 at 19:51:22 |
| wa alaykum as salaam wa rahmatAllahi wa barakatuh, Here's a question. How many Muslim brothers have gotten a girl pregnant outside of marriage? Hmmm. Not something we think about all that often is it? And sadly enough, knowing the condition of a lot of Muslim youth out there, I'd say the numbers are HIGH. A lot of time we have this attitude of, well, before a certain age brothers can "sow their wild oats", do all sorts of haraam stuff. But when it's time to "settle down" does he find a sister who has a history similar to his own? No, his family finds an unsuspectingly innocent sister (or one from 'back home' that doesn't know anything her future husband has done) and marries them off. Our young Muslim brothers man.. :( All of our youth! May Allah guide us all. wasalaam. |
| Re: Illigetimate Babies |
|---|
| SuperHiMY |
| 02/01/01 at 19:55:29 |
AsalamAlay.com, Reading seven's reply to my reply, I...ahem...type corrected. YOu have a good point. ~ HiMY! ~ |
| Re: Illigetimate Babies |
|---|
| Al-Basha |
| 02/02/01 at 21:45:02 |
| Salamu Aliakom, Alhamdulilah I have never heard of any such thing happen like this in the many communities I have been part of. Though I know for a fact in Egypt this kind of activity has spread. One of my relatives is a doctor and they told us stories, of girls going into hospitals not knowing they were pregnant. When i heard that this stuff was going on in Egypt, i totally lost respect for pretty much everyone there. Yeah I know that's not right, because not everyone does this and I've learnt that since then alhamdulilah. Actually I had an discussion which turned into an argument with a brother I know, about marrying someone who has comitted zina and whether or not it is ok to ask a prospective wife/husband whether they have or not. He said Muslims these days should ask, and I disagreed saying that if the person comes from a good Muslim family then that shouldn't be an issue. He refuted by saying that a person coming from a good Muslim family isn't enough. That's when it turned into an argument, because I said you cannot ask the daughter or son from a decent Muslim family this question without offending them and their family. It's a shame really, because a person can go paranoid when you start thinking about these things. Allahu A3laam, things are getting pretty crazy these days ... |
| Re: Illigetimate Babies |
|---|
| Moe |
| 02/02/01 at 22:39:44 |
| Reading se7en's reply i totally agree with her and its tru i know a couple guys whose family's get them married off to unsuspectingly innocent sister that doesn't know anything her future husband has done and marries them off |
| Re: Illigetimate Babies |
|---|
| SuperHiMY |
| 02/03/01 at 02:25:18 |
AsalamAlay.com, One million years ago I was engaged. That's as far as it went. Long story. But she had a brother who had a 'muslim' girlfriend. The girl was Shia if THAT made any difference, I still dunno. Well, my then-fiance who was raised here in Ontario had NEVER dated, never even hung out with muslim boys at school in a group, nothing, nada. Her mother made sure of that! Her brother however, was already in 'FULL' boyfriend-girlfriend mode with his 'muslim' girlfriend even though it was doubtful they would ever get married. At least as far as he was concerned, my then-fiance confided to me. Her family thought I wasn't good enuff for her, but then was their son 'good enuff' for that shia girlfriend of his? I answer back to the family. They didn't like that one. AHA! Well then...the double standard kicked in. Y'all get the idea. We raise our daughters so carefully and hijab-paranoid, but leave our sons to their own devices....It's amazing sometimes I think, that Beavis and Butthead ain't Muslim. Hence a type on in-equalibrium exists eh? The Sisters raised in North America are well, 'Sisters' with all the honour and respect that word deserves. The brothers raised in N. America, many of us are, well, JERKS. Eh? Getting a FAIR match is kinda tough to find. I have a cousin sister who's was raised in Toronto in her teens, went back to Karachi, now resides in Silicon Valley with her Brother. She's got a pretty good cosmopolitan view of Things. Ain't no one gonna dupe her. Is she gonna marry one of 'these' muslims who was growed up here??? HeckaNo!! And she's, well, let's just say, she ain't 29. I dunno if this post makes any context or sense. I guess I just rambled on, Geee...that is sooo Unlike me... ;-O ~ HiMY! ~ |
| Re: Illigetimate Babies |
|---|
| Mul@n |
| 02/06/01 at 19:03:32 |
| well i know someone who had an illigetimate baby...man what a disgrace to the family, who happens to be very religious, and you know... i didnt know what to do when i saw the baby...my sister had to walk away and started to cry... i dont know about your community, but it was the first time i seen/heard something like this.. hey himmy: good point..my school, the so called muslim guys have no control from their parents.. funny how society functions, esp. the arabic and paki, african, culture is...(excuse me if i forgot any islamic culture..)i wanted to make sure i didnt include the religion, just the culture |
| Re: Illigetimate Babies |
|---|
| Al-Basha |
| 02/08/01 at 17:19:33 |
| Salamu Aliakom, Himy, while your points are valid I don't think that every sister here in N. America has a 100% clean heart, and the same with the brothers. You are making out that brothers who are born/raised here are the trash of the ummah. Sorry but I have to say this "EHH WRONG!". And this has nothing to do with me personally, because although I live in the USA I've also lived half my life outside the USA. I know some excellent brothers masha Allah who were born/raised here their whole life. So really for you to make that kind of a comment with all due respect is a major fallacy. This is has to do with the tarbiyah (discipline,upbringing) in the family. For a family to let the "boys" go loose arguing "boys will be boys" is a major concern, but there are some ppl out there who will say "girls will be girls" as well. It's a two way street here bro. Wa Allahu A3laam. |
| Re: Illigetimate Babies |
|---|
| Saleema |
| 02/08/01 at 18:18:42 |
| Assalam ualykum, To say that all brothers are like that would be wrong. but to say that most brthers are trash wouldn't be that off the mark. To say that all muslim sisters are angels would be way off the mark. To say that many (not most) are ok or very good wouldn't be off the mark at all. wassalam, Saleema |
Individual posts do not necessarily reflect the views of Jannah.org, Islam, or all Muslims. All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners. Comments are owned by the poster and may not be used without consent of the author.The rest © Jannah.Org |