Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| this is what happens when you get off topic :) |
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| se7en |
| 02/01/01 at 00:28:51 |
| [this originally was a response to Kathy's post about Valentine's Day, but I went off on all sorts of tangents, so I'm gonna post it here, inshaAllah] as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatAllahi wa barakatuh, True true, those ideals are fed to children at such a young age, at a time when they are so vulnerable. They stay with a child, haunt them the rest of their lives. I still remember distinctly some of the things I was taught by my elementary school teachers, and I'm sure some of you guys do as well. That's so alarming to me, that Mrs. Cooney from third grade still holds some psychological space in me. Not to even talk about the teachers, just being in a non-Muslim enviroment, interacting with non-Muslim kids some who seriously have *no* values or morals whatsoever, can really mess a child up. I know too many cases like that. If your child is in a public school, he or she definitely needs a support *system* of a strong family, masjid, community, teachers... Reading this thread I had this flash back of 6th grade, being asked out for the first time... I remember the first thing I thought of wasn't "what if my parents found out" or "if I don't do this I won't be cool"... it was something a weekend school Islam teacher said. I knew that 'Muslim' was a title to be proud of. Just instilling ideas like that in a child, that you should be proud to be Muslim, that it's not something to be ashamed of, helps so much. Seriously, though what it can do for a child is limited, weekend school definitely does help a lot. It helps counteract all the garbage a kid has to go through in public school, something I personally would not want my child to go through. I know many people say "look at this individual, they went to a public school and they turned out ok..." That person may have, but there are so many other that haven't. Attend any Muslim youth conference in the United States today, observe their behavior... and those are the *active* Muslim youth, think about those who don't even attend conferences. Consider how many Muslim youth you know that are lost, misguided, confused, out there doing who knows what... And even those rare few who did, who did survive, they carry scars.. emotional, intellectual, spiritual scars from all of that garbage they had to go through... I'm a senior in high school now, and just reflecting back upon my time in public school... there was so much that I personally had to deal with.. so much that hurt me, that made me question, doubt.. so much that I fell into.. so much that kept me up nights.. I think that if there was one thing that kept me sane, that helped me, that made me one of the 'survivors' is the fact that I had rock solid friends. My two closest friends... may Allah reward them with jannah, inshaAllah. Other things... older siblings that encouraged me not by telling me what to do, but by being good Muslims themselves... a community with brilliant and devoted teachers... conferences that introduced me to amazing scholars, awesome Muslims and gave me access to books... a group of friends that always had my back... a certain brother from cali that always gave me advice when I needed it... and a message board that shall remain nameless that helped out as well... Yeah, your kid can make it in public school, but he or she needs a circle of things they can turn to that will keep them on the siraatul mustaqeem... you can't be the only voice that tells them that everything around them is wrong, that tells them they're ok when everything else is telling them they're not.. |
| Re: this is what happens when you get off topic :) |
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| Al-Basha |
| 02/02/01 at 03:12:50 |
| Salamu Aliakom, Se7en very well said masha Allah, and actually the whole valentine thingy fit in well with your comments about public school as a whole. Ahh K-12, 13 years of wonderful wholesome education, (as if). Looking back I too think about the pain and garbage I went through, the jeering and the mockery from classmates and teachers etc, thanks to Allah i did not go nuts. Come to think of it, i dont know why ppl are shocked when they see things like Columbine happen. When you have a society thats built on these kind of standards what can a person expect? The funny thing is, now that we know this is there going to be an effort made to make solid Islamic schools? Or maybe there just needs to be more participation in our Muslim communities and our masajid. Allahu A3laam |
| Re: this is what happens when you get off topic :) |
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| Kathy |
| 02/02/01 at 11:35:09 |
| slm I am really appreciating your reflections. Insha Allah I will focus on your thoughts and it will give me some insight to the future of my son and his "future battles" I so agree with the "Proud to be Muslim" attitude. To a degree I teach him that we are better. When he comes to me with a concern about school or the actions of a buddy, I use that as an opportunity to teach him why and how Islam gives us the right answers. It is such a struggle for me when I go into the schools for my volunteering day, as it seems that I am always defending our beliefs. Humdil Allah, it seems to be working. Every morning, after kissing my son good bye I always say- "Remember who you are" Insha Allah- that message will be running thru his head at all times... |
| Re: this is what happens when you get off topic :) |
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| salamrae |
| 02/03/01 at 03:45:33 |
| Assalamu Alaikum Seven you have given me alot of insight to what a muslim child and teen has to deal with. Thanks. I was not raised muslim. I have three children and one is seven and in the second grade. I need as much input and thoughts from those who have been raised muslim in this society. I believe if there is no Islamic school available to her after the 6th grade I will home school her. I know there is so much to deal with in schools now , even when I was in school ohhhh so many many years ago . I am 39. There was alot to deal with. I was raised in a strong christian family. I was taught that sex before marriage is wrong. However haveing a boyfriend was not. And I felt the pressure that I need one even at 12 and 13. I mean people in my church constanly posed the question " so do you have a boyfriend yet?" Now I look back and I think what a question. I mean dont have sex but have a boyfriend. And what do you suppose you do on dates when you are alone? Sure I didnt "do that" but I wont say what else I did as a teen. So you end up feeling very guilty, and wondering why you have these feelings and desires. Why should you feel guilty for haveing natural feelings, ?? This is why it is impossible to be alone and date etc. This is why Allah knows best. Why we cant possibly at a 15 year old have the strength to overcome what our bodys are telling us to do, . Teaching our children to be proud to be muslim to know Allahs guide for our lives makes sense it is the only way for us. I hope to learn more from those who have had to face the "norms" of this society and choose Islam. Salam Rae |
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