Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| LOVE??? is there such a thing? |
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| Anonymous |
| 03/09/01 at 17:22:58 |
| Ok, i never was one to fall for guys, most ppl were never worth it. but this year, a new guy came to my school. I'd like to emphasize that it was not his looks that attracted me. At first, i thought he was wierd..but then i started liking him. MashAllah he is such a good Muslim, he's not like a normal teenage muslim guy. Now what i wanna know is that if its ok to like a person for these reasons? I know islam tells us to lower our gazes and stuff, but i can't lower my gaze from his imaan and high faith!! Is it ok to love someone is islam?? as long as u don't actually go out with them? aghhhh....sometimes i find it pointless cuz its not like h'ell ever notice me..but u never know right? |
| Re: LOVE??? is there such a thing? |
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| Arsalan |
| 03/09/01 at 18:39:35 |
| [slm] I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to answer your question. But I'm sure someone else will. I have two things to say though. They're somewhat related to the topic: 1. Loving someone and admiring them are two different things. There is nothing wrong with admiring someone for their Iman. Loving them ... now that's another story! 2. Although you cannot control bad thoughts from coming to your mind, you CAN (and must) control those thoughts from staying/residing in your heart for longer periods. Day dreaming is not allowed in Islam. May Allah help you. Wassalamu alaikum. |
| Re: LOVE??? is there such a thing? |
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| Kashif |
| 03/09/01 at 19:48:27 |
| assalaamu alaikum You can pray to Allah that it works out, but don't forget that *Allah* is the Turner of hearts and He may choose in his Divine Wisdom not to make this go ahead, or on the other hand to make it work. Why don't you tell your mum about it? Perhaps she'll be able to befriend this chap's mother and that would be as good a step as any towards finding out if this can go ahead or not. Also, its imperative that you lower your gaze and try your utmost not to look at this brother otherwise you would fall into disobedience of Allah. I remember reading somewhere that the eyes have a connection straight to the heart (spiritually speaking of course, or is it metaphorically?) and as you know it is very important that you close off this route to shaitaan because the heart is most in need of your attention in keeping it shielded from the arrows of shaitaan. [color=black] Question #1431: Is it wrong for a girl to love someone in her heart and wish Allah to marry her to this guy? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If this love is not distracting you from the love of Allaah, and will not lead to you doing or saying anything haraam, then there is nothing wrong with this, in sha Allaah, or with praying to Allaah to make him a part of your future – so long as he is a Muslim who fears Allaah. Sh. Muhammad al-Munajjid Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) [/color] |
| Re: LOVE??? is there such a thing? |
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| jannah |
| 03/09/01 at 20:19:23 |
[quote] 1. Loving someone and admiring them are two different things.[/quote] wise words from a youngun like yourself arsalan :) anonymous it is natural to admire someone with such high iman and personality and even to wish to marry such a person one day, if not that person. just don't let yourself get tempted with trying to be in contact with him more b/c this just leads more and more to unislamic things. honestly all the rules in islam, lowering the gaze, wearing hijab, having moderate contact with the opposite sex unless it is for business, education, etc, not being alone with him are all things that are in place to protect *you* from being hurt. i pray you find khair wherever it may be. |
| Re: LOVE??? is there such a thing? |
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| Al-Basha |
| 03/09/01 at 23:55:32 |
| [slm] There is a well known arabic proverb Wa Min Al Hob Ma Qatal which roughly means, "There is type of love that kills" and I translate that further as "love can be suffocating". Yes a pessimistic yet somewhat realistic view to the whole concept of love. Wa Allahu A3laam |
| Re: LOVE??? is there such a thing? |
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| nadeem |
| 03/10/01 at 06:34:06 |
| Assalaam alaykum warahmatullah. The Ulema used to say : " Love in islam starts after marriage..." Ive heard this from many muslim speakers..so cant provide full references....!!! |
| Re: LOVE??? is there such a thing? |
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| Mona |
| 03/10/01 at 12:57:20 |
| Assalamu alaikum, I think it is noble to 'admire' someone for their good islamic character and piety. However, IMHO, it is really better not to dwell on these thoughts too much. Striving to becoming closer to Allah is more worthy of our time & thoughts. What Al-Basha mentions about the Arabic proverb, is in reference to 'obsessive love'. This is a destructive behaviour/emotion -may Allah protect us all from it. It takes control over the person's mind & feelings and practically incapacitates him/her from doing anything productive because it introduces a great imbalance to one's emotions & priorities. " The best concept of love -methinks- is 'Love in Allah'. In other words, love your fiancé, spouse, parent, sibling, friend in hopes of attaining Allah's love and mercy. So, in this case the primary concern is becoming closer to Allah, rather than the actual [i]fallible[/i] human being. When this is the intention when one loves another human being, Allah brings the two even closer and blesses their relationship, insha'Allah. Hope this helps. Wassalam |
| Re: LOVE??? is there such a thing? |
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| BrKhalid |
| 03/10/01 at 14:19:40 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) [quote]The Ulema used to say : " Love in islam starts after marriage..." Ive heard this from many muslim speakers..so cant provide full references....!!! [/quote] Allah [swt] says: Among His signs is [the fact] that He has created spouses for you among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has planted love and mercy between you; In that are signs for people who reflect. Qur'an [30 : 21] Love...is there such a thing? Yes ;-) As has been said admiring (being attracted to) someone cannot be the same as true love which is only experienced with one's spouse since Allah [swt] Himself plants it into the hearts of the husband and wife. On the other hand, you have to be attracted to someone (for whatever reason) to want to marry them. Just don't confuse it for love though ;-) |
| Re: LOVE??? is there such a thing? |
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| Asim |
| 03/10/01 at 17:15:37 |
| Assalaamu alaikum, Wow, a lot of wisdom in this thread on love and admiration! [quote]Just don't confuse it for love though ;-)[/quote] It is not that easy :) Seeing the sister is in the teens, the best advice would be to limit all contact with the guy as much as possible (eg avoid the places he would be while at school). Yes, admire him for his uprightness but always keep in mind you are admiring him for the sake of Allah, which in turn will remind you not to do anything unIslamic. If marriage is a possibility right away (or in the near future) then ask your mom to get the ball rolling. If not, you will have to be patient and try to control your emotions (by limiting contact with him). Talking about love when someone tells you "I love you" the response, as taught to us by the prophet (pbuh) should be "May Allah, for Whose sake you love me, love you also". This again emphasizes that all love is for the sake of Allah swt. Wasalaam. |
| Re: LOVE??? is there such a thing? |
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| humble_muslim |
| 03/12/01 at 06:39:41 |
| AA Go ahead and get married to him right now!!! The Prohpet (SAW) said somethig to the efffect of : "If you do not marry your women to righteous men, fitnah will occur". (Anyone know the exact wording of this hadith?) |
| NS |
| Re: LOVE??? is there such a thing? |
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| oreo_girl |
| 03/13/01 at 15:57:16 |
| ok took me a while to register.. i think using the word "love" was the wrong word, i think its more of a crush. i don't think im ready for marriage yet, and i would never do anything stupid like date him....i dunno know even if he's the type of guy i'm looking for....i don't think about him all day either, tahts just dumb. anywayz just wanted to clarify a few things!!! |
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