Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| Moonshine |
| 03/11/01 at 13:04:56 |
| Assalamu-alaikum, This is for everyone here. What type of wedding do you plan to have? These days I've noticed weddings and the ceremonies preceding it are just way way over the top and don't adhere to islamic guidelines. For example, our typical desi weddings involve the mehndi for both parties and theres a huge wastage of food and money over cultural practices like clothing, jewelery. Theres free mixing of sexes and then we come to the dancing which is shameful to say the least):( I can't imagine what our beloved Prophet(pbuh) would think if he saw this. Most recently i saw non-mahrams dancing in such a sick way that you could be fooled you were sitting in a nightclub. eerrgghh! I know some people who relish the opportunity to attend a wedding as they get the chance to indulge in haram practices and mix with and impress(with their clothing) the opposite sex. At the actual wedding, which take place in flash halls/hotels with relatives you've never seen before :) the grooms family had to give money out to the brides family(don't confuse with mahr) in order to allow him to sit next to her. I think this is stupid and greedy. So does everyone plan to filter out these practices when it comes to your wedding? I'd rather keep it very simple and keep all the hoo-haa out. What do you think? wasslam |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| BrKhalid |
| 03/11/01 at 17:55:26 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) I know this isn't answering the question (I'll try and get round to it when I have more time) but I just wanted to point out one thing. No matter what designs *you* may have on your wedding, you still have to get the co-operation of your prospective in laws. Trying to thrash out what you both want is far from easy sometimes! ;-) |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| Asim |
| 03/11/01 at 19:35:12 |
| Assalaamu alaikum, I have attended a few marriage ceremonies in my life and they often leave a bad taste in the mouth. [quote]No matter what designs *you* may have on your wedding, you still have to get the co-operation of your prospective in laws. Trying to thrash out what you both want is far from easy sometimes! ;-)[/quote] This is an important point. Often a family will use the logic "Hey, marriage comes once in a life time, loosen up!" to justify unIslamic and extravagant weddings. What I would like? Inshallah I would like my marriage to be simple and straightforward. No unnecessary and extravagant stuff. However, I do realize that marriage is a happy time for both families so the ceremony should reflect that but this should be within the bounds of Islam and simple. Wasalaam. |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| se7en |
| 03/11/01 at 22:00:06 |
| as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatAllahi wa barakatuh, "The only thing Muslims are able to organize these days are walimas... I heard the other day about a walima that had three belly dancers! Takbeer! You know what kind of takbeer? Takbeeratul Janazah! Allahu Akbar..." I remember that (something like that) from a Hamza Yusuf tape, that's the first thing that came to my mind when I read your post :) "hoo-haa" hahaha, moonshine :) I've never heard it labeled like that :) |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| Al-Basha |
| 03/11/01 at 23:56:00 |
| [slm] Well I can tell you what kind of wedding I don't want to have. The kinds they have in Egypt, ya Allah. I'm talking about the weddings with the belly dancers, the crazy wannabe rock star singers and the people going all crazy dancing the macarena and what not. Don't get me wrong, not all the weddings in Egypt are like just the majority of them. My mom went to her friends wedding in Egypt and she said it was masha Allah, very islamic, no crazy dancing etc. She said they had these guys singing Islamic nasheeds, about the life of the propher pbuh etc. wa Allahu A3laam |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| zubaid |
| 03/12/01 at 00:26:09 |
| as-Salaamu 'Alaykum, There's one tradition that has kind of become a MYNA-wedding thing now, and that is to have skits during the walima. They're usually hilarious, and poke fun at the bride and the groom (all in good fun of course). It's almost like a roast or something now that I think about it. My mom is planning on having some of that at our wedding inshaa Allah. Take care, Zubaid K. |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| PacificBreeze |
| 03/12/01 at 00:38:57 |
[quote] There's one tradition that has kind of become a MYNA-wedding thing now, and that is to have skits during the walima. They're usually hilarious, and poke fun at the bride and the groom (all in good fun of course). [/quote] really? a MYNA deal? i didn't know it was popular in the states..east coast? the girls from various ethnic bkgds used to have that at the islamic uni i went to overseas..arabic wedding skits...a theme they love best! :) but it's fuuuuuunnn! along with the khutbah, n some halal entertainment etc..brings back memories :) |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| Al-Basha |
| 03/12/01 at 00:41:44 |
| [slm] yeah i have been to a MYNA style wedding, it was so funny. The bro in law of the groom went up and started saying some jokes and it was just hillarious hehe. And then they did this contest, where the grand prize was like a bag of carrots? Hahah, pretty funny stuff :) |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| Ikani |
| 03/12/01 at 01:12:22 |
| Assalamu alaikum, Well, I've never felt comfortable at social occasions (even when they are Islamically allright) where we all supposed to gather and have fun - I'd rather we got what we were there for over with so I could leave. I suppose that's because I spent most of my school years as a 'shy guy' and loner. My idea of a cool wedding would be to get the prayers done then have a small, quiet banquet in the open fields somewhere. I could make supper for the bride in the evening (if she can handle my cooking) so we could enjoy that while chatting alone under the night skies or in the living room watching cool cartoons! But of course, you have your parents and in laws to sometimes grapple with about how the wedding's to be organised and carried out (it's especially hard trying to get a happy old mum from embarrassing you 'cos she's so happy her 'boy's finally becoming a man'... "Okay, okay, mama!..." ). While you'd try to get things done as Islamically as possible and without hurting anyone's feelings, if things get too bad there's the ultimate "That's it, I don't want it anymore!' threat.;) Allah help us all. |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| meraj |
| 03/12/01 at 10:57:09 |
| slm, i hate weddings. more specifically i hate having to dress up :( grrrrrr.... death to suits! ma'salaam |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| jannah |
| 03/12/01 at 12:49:28 |
| [slm] The best weddings I've been to are the most sincere one's. Not those with the most guests (can you believe someone had 2000 guests!) or those at the fancy places with waiters serving every entree. The one's I love are where everyone knows each other and are friends and there is amusing entertainment (skits are great), the khutbah is meaningful and it's fun for everyone. One of the best wedding's I can remember was (br genghis & nahla) one where it actually poured during the nikah and we all ran into the mosque upstairs and had the simple ceremony in the prayer area and then we all went outside and ate cake on the wet tables among the candles. I don't like it when people make their wedding a society event, excluding and including only certain ppl. Students, reverts, kids are always left out and they are the one's that would enjoy it the most. I think everyone should have their nikah at the mosque if possible. It just seems right to commit to each other in the house of Allah. And it should be webcast...yeah that would be cool ;-D |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| mwhaider |
| 03/12/01 at 13:44:19 |
Assalamualaikum wrt, i never thot wat kinda marriage i wud like but simple wud b a better one. The emphasis for me is to find the appropraite person, and i wud b happy in any kind :) wassalam Waseem |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| Laboogie |
| 03/12/01 at 16:32:04 |
| As-salamua alakium When I do get married (inshallah), Im going to have a VERY simple wedding (inshallah). But im going to make sure that everything is translated into the Spanish language (since my mom doesnt speak english and the majority of my family). I also what someone to talk about the islamic influence in spain and the spanish language and how there are many latino muslims in the world; just giving my extend family an understanding that Latinos dont have to be catholics (alhumdulliah). So my wedding is bascially going to be about giving dawah to my extended family.:) ***And since i loooooooove flowers, Im going to have plenty of them, I think thats were all the money is going towards (flowers) :) |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| Zahra |
| 03/12/01 at 19:47:46 |
[quote] Well I can tell you what kind of wedding I don't want to have. The kinds they have in Egypt, ya Allah. I'm talking about the weddings with the belly dancers, the crazy wannabe rock star singers and the people going all crazy dancing the macarena and what not. [/quote] Al-Basha-you have no idea how much I related to this (I am also from Egypt). Unfortunately, it's the sad truth. Don't forget those women who are muthajibat from the time they were like 13 and then suddenly because it's their wedding day, they decide that they deserve a day w/out it :( There is so much beauty in simple weddings. They really are more enjoyable for everyone than extravagant ones. I went to one wedding, a malaysian couple, and masha'Allah...it was so simple. The bride was wearing a simple white dress, covered also, of course. The groom was wearing a nice suit. Everyone ate and there was some brothers beating on drums and singing wedding nasheed. It was so simple, yet it had an atmosphere of so much happiness and pleasure for everyone who was there. Simple and (therefore) Islamic is definitely the way to go!! Oh, and as someone else mentioned, get married in a masjid! SoubhanAllah, why would anyone get married in any old building (like a hotel), when we have the opportunity to get married in Allah's Home? Think about that-that's the house of Allah. When we enter, we greet Allah (just as we would greet anyone when we enter their home) by praying 2 rakaat. Allah welcomes us into his home not only for our prayers, but for celebrating His blessings (weddings, aqueeqah's, Eids) not to mention, as a place for shura, learning, and meeting our brothers & sisters. |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| Saleema |
| 03/12/01 at 23:47:59 |
| Assalam ualykum, I dread my wedding day!! I hate dressing up in those decorated suits!! My God, are they heavy!! After my wedding day, my wedding clothes are going in the grabage can! I know I'm going to have to wear one or else I am never going to get married! :) My mom would have a fit if I didn't dress in the traditional dress that weights like a ton. I guess I could make my mom happy for one day. :) Anyway, I am going to have a henna party. Nothing fancy, at my home, everyone has to come in their pajamas, cuz that's what I will be in. Then the walima, simple, not extravagant. No dancing between the sexes or anything like that inshallah. :) And my husband will *have* to wear a turban. wassalam |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| Ikani |
| 03/13/01 at 03:06:39 |
[quote]Assalam ualykum, And my husband will *have* to wear a turban. wassalam[/quote] Hope he doesn't complain it's heavy. ;-D |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| BrKhalid |
| 03/13/01 at 07:18:50 |
| Assalaamu Alaikum ;-) [quote] I could make supper for the bride in the evening (if she can handle my cooking) so we could enjoy that while chatting alone under the night skies [/quote] You would cook for your wife on your wedding day? Brave man ;) As for having the Nikah at the Masjid, I agree. Besides it also helps with ensuring there isn't any intermingling. |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| PacificBreeze |
| 03/13/01 at 17:33:47 |
| oooh saleema, sounds cool though...do share your pics whenever it happen, okie? :) pak outfits ROCK!!! :) |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| Anonymous |
| 03/14/01 at 13:33:11 |
| Assalamalaykum A simple wedding? (...) It was around six o'clock (pm) that day, when we arrived at the islamic center. My husband had invited a few brothers. The imam came, made a speech, and told us (my husband and I) the words we had to say. After that, my husband served some pastries and juice to the brothers. They discussed for about 30 minutes (I was on the other side of the room with my mom). Then we left. We were married. Alhamdulillah. |
| Re: What type of wedding do you plan to have? |
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| Ikani |
| 03/14/01 at 14:22:33 |
[quote]Assalaamu Alaikum ;-) You would cook for your wife on your wedding day? Brave man ;) [/quote] You got that right, BrKhalid - isn't that what marriage's all about? :) What, she'll make me sign a marriage contract never to "attempt to poison the family" by stepping into the kitchen to cook "that stuff again"? |
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