Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| amazing diet |
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| gift |
| 03/20/01 at 03:46:02 |
| [slm] it's a long read but worth it heh! heh! ;-D ;-D People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle ?Diet. Over the years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good Luck !!! DAY ONE: Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes. Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest). Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Sprite. Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor. DAY TWO: Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye. Lunch: Half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired. Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on rug. Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon. DAY THREE: Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair. Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up. Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch. Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible. FINAL DAY: Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog. Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it. Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert. [wlm] [quote]A person inevitably follows the faith of one's friends; therefore be careful in chosing your friends. Abu Dawud & At-Tirmidhi [/quote] |
| Re: amazing diet |
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| Anonymous |
| 03/22/01 at 15:16:12 |
| [slm] sister gift i don't know why nobody has replied to your diet - there was a pretty hefty discussion a few weeks about losing weight ??? [wlm] |
| Re: amazing diet |
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| Nazir_Ismail |
| 03/22/01 at 15:28:53 |
| Assalaamu-Alaikum So why the hang up about diets? They dont wotrk, end of story, simple as that, capeesh! If you wanna loose weight, the only way you will do so is by exercising. My Advice is hit a punch bag, hard for about 15 mins, with a few one minute breaks, then go onto the cycle and a steady pace for about 20 mins, by which time you should be exhausted. repeat this about 3 times a week MAX, and for about 2 months and you should see a significant reduction in fat levels! But NEVER eat more! Eat as you normally eat, just cut out the fatty junk, and restict it to once a week, not once every 2 hours! Remember diets dont work, becasue as soon as you stop, the fat just comes back! Start exercising, its the only way! |
| Re: amazing diet |
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| princess |
| 03/23/01 at 20:50:27 |
| as'salaamualikum :) let's talk about how to GAIN some weight :) anyone got any ways..? thoughts..? anything?! :) just wonderin :) plz, do share :) it'd be greatly appreciated :) thanks :) later langur ;-D |
| Re: amazing diet |
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| hydrolicious |
| 03/23/01 at 21:43:42 |
| Assalamu alaikum.... :) Eat lots of strawberry cheescakes and Deep dish PITZAs ....hehe... Wasalaams Abu basil |
| Re: amazing diet |
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| Nazir_Ismail |
| 03/24/01 at 04:51:48 |
| If you wanna gain weight it depends on whether your a man or women. Actually it dont! Anyway! To gain weight this is what you do. You simply eat more caloeris than your body requires. So if on average if you eat a plate of rice, increase that to one and a half plates! But remember you eat the rice, not the plates OK? Now dont ever fall into the trap of getting your extra calories from cakes and biscuits, as that will just make you fat! Now that your eating more calories, the next step is to train with weights. This will insure that the extra calories are taken in buy your muscles and not stored as fat. Men should train with heavy weight. Women, they should train with light weights, as they wanna build up slightly, not too much. If you women use the big weights, your gona end up bulking up and looking like the incredible hulk! Not a pretty sight! Hope this helps. |
| Re: amazing diet |
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| jannah |
| 03/24/01 at 09:09:37 |
| Here's my proven formula for losing weight: 1. Starve yourself 2. Exercise like crazy It works only if you do both simultaneously. ie starve yourself doesn't mean starve yourself (eat much much less) but it sure feels like it! anyway check out that weight loss thread the sisters were talking about before.. i think ukmuslimah was just posting a joke about dieting |
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