Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Gift Dilemma |
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| BrKhalid |
| 03/27/01 at 10:45:28 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) A few months ago I was talking to a very dear friend of mine and talking about his upcoming trip abroad. As it happens the destination he was going to coincided with something I wanted to acquire there and I asked him if he could do some research for me whilst he was there. He agreed. Now the "problem" is that not only did he do the research but he also bought what I actually wanted! Every time I raise the issue of cost with him, he makes some convenient excuse. Reading between the lines, I can tell he doesn't want me to pay him but here's my problem: 1. The item is of no great monetary value but it weighs a ton!! (I estimate about 20kilos). I'm not sure whether he had to pay excess baggage on it but the time he must have spent acquiring, packing and transporting this thing can't be underestimated. 2. He would be deeply offended if I outright told him he had to take my money and to be honest I have too much respect for him to do that. I can't help feeling I'm in his "debt" since in my own mind I don't see this thing as a "gift". So what's the best way of dealing with this? I've got a few ideas but it'd be interesting to see what others think. |
| Re: Gift Dilemma |
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| Mona |
| 03/27/01 at 12:43:25 |
| Assalamu Alaikum, Masha' Allah br Khalid! Your friend went into trouble to make you happy and thus strengthen the bond of brotherhood between you two, and probably wants a reward from Allah subhanahu wa ta3ala for that. That's why he does not want to be repayed by you, because he thinks that this may lessen his reward from Allah. If you feel sooo conscious about burdening this brother, invite him for dinner/lunch or buy him something that he'll appreciate. Insha'Allah your friendship and brotherhood will strengthen with these little acts of kindness towards each other. So, i am curious, what weighs 20 kg but of no great monetary value? Wassalam :-) |
| Re: Gift Dilemma |
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| Arsalan |
| 03/27/01 at 13:38:47 |
| [slm] [quote]So, i am curious, what weighs 20 kg but of no great monetary value? [/quote]A watermelon! ;) |
| Re: Gift Dilemma |
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| bhaloo |
| 03/27/01 at 15:20:34 |
| slm I don't know any watermelons weighing 20 kg (about 45 lbs). I wonder what it is? ??? |
| Re: Gift Dilemma |
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| humble_muslim |
| 03/27/01 at 18:45:58 |
| AA When the opporutinty arises, give him a gift. |
| Re: Gift Dilemma |
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| Barr |
| 03/28/01 at 08:49:16 |
| Salam, akhi... In addition to that.. .maybe, U'd like to send him a thank you card/ note? There are some nice ones with poems etc... Maybe, U can make him something? Plus, du'as for him would be nice too :-) All the best! P.S. Sharing your watermelon would be nice as well... :) |
| Re: Gift Dilemma |
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| B-Calm |
| 03/28/01 at 09:03:33 |
| [slm] here is a hadith I read from Bukhari: Narrated Abu Huraira The Prophet said, "I shall accept the invitation even if I were invited to a meal of a sheep's trotter, and I shall accept the gift even if it were an arm or a trotter of a sheep." I don't however know the context of the hadith. I would make du3a for the brother...this would likely please him more than money...and it is more beneficial, Allahu A3lam. If any of you know, please share. Take Care :) [wlm] |
| Re: Gift Dilemma |
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| Arsalan |
| 03/28/01 at 13:30:27 |
| [quote]I don't know any watermelons weighing 20 kg (about 45 lbs). I wonder what it is? ??? [/quote]Oops. Sorry. I thought he said 20 lbs! |
| Re: Gift Dilemma |
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| princess |
| 03/28/01 at 14:08:48 |
| [quote]When the opporutinty arises, give him a gift.[/quote] walikumas'salaam warahamtullah :) i 2nd that :) i think u may even offend him a bit if u offer to pay for it..gift giving builds love..no doubt :) he was just doing a good friend a favor..alhamdulillah, accept it :) u're too humble :) mashAllah :) later langur ;-D |
| Re: Gift Dilemma |
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| BrKhalid |
| 03/31/01 at 13:03:14 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) Jazakallah Khairan for all the advice guys. I think I now what I'm going to do. Oh and btw I think 20lbs is a more reasonable estimate than 20kgs!!! Have to say though, I'm tempted to start a watermelon thread in the Kabob folder ;-) Wasalaam |
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