Being Fat.

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Being Fat.
Kathy
04/25/01 at 08:47:54
As salaamu alaykum.

Enlighten me. Some of us are fat. We know it. Some of us have reasons, some of us don't. Some of us want to loose weight, some of us do not care. Some of us are trying to loose weight, some of us can't.

I am an American. Most of us would never make a comment  or give unasked advice to a fat person.

But(no pun intended!), I find that alot of Muslim sisters, of other cultures, make mean comments to us.

You can just imagine my replies- I never let them off the hook. The other day I watched it happen to a young new Muslim.

Enlighten me. Of all the topics of conversation, why do women choose to point out to a fat person that they are fat?
Re: Being Fat.
Saleema
04/25/01 at 12:23:18
Assalam ualykum,

Kathy, :(  That makes me angry too. I kind of know what you are feeling. ):(  I'm not overweight but I am skinny, or I like to call it "slim." My mom's friends make all sort of comments to me too and it never used to bother me but it does sort of now. I don't get sad or anything i just get annoyed.

I asked my mom once why they were sizing me up and down all the time like some perverted guy would on a street to someone and she just laughed and said that people who feel insecure about themselves make fun of others.

[wlm]
Re: Being Fat.
Mary
04/25/01 at 12:26:31
Go get um Kathy.  My relatives being from another culture say what ever is on their minds.  I truly don't believe they mean to hurt me or my children but they do.  It is just a fact I have been told.  Just words.  
I think that in just being nice we at times must not say everything we are thinking.  
There must be something written on this. Does any one know what it is.
Re: Being Fat.
Mahmoodah
04/25/01 at 17:20:19
salam,
i am not fat or slim, i am average.
But i know wat u mean coz i used to n=b really thin!!!!, but ppl get over it, soon pplget tired of making comments!!!
:-)
Re: Being Fat.
pakiprncess
04/25/01 at 18:11:01
[quote]people who feel insecure about themselves make fun of others[/quote]

tru dat! (hehe)

plus, i think people also do it to tease you...like my mom will call me "moti" (fatty) sometimes, when ill go for extra servings and stuff. not that she hates me or feels angry or anything, but she simply wants the "best" for me, and in her eyes, its that i stay in shape. plus, she knows ill get peeved and put the food back, so i guess its a good way to get me to stop eating so much....shes a clever one ;)
Re: Being Fat.
Mona
04/25/01 at 18:26:12
assalamu alaikum,

[quote]But(no pun intended!), I find that alot of Muslim sisters, of other cultures, make mean comments to us[/quote]

Usually, ignorance is universal.  While it is true that westerners consider it politically incorrect to verbalize their disapproval of others' sizes infront of them  especially if it is another 'white' person on the receiving end of thes remarks, this does not mean that they don't make very degrading remarks behind their backs.

Perhaps you can try to educate these Muslim women who babble impolite remarks.  Bilhusna, that is.  Replying to them harshly wouldn't be something that I'd do personally.  I'd be annoyed to hear these comments, true, but I would try first to let them know that these remarks do hurt me and that if they cared about my feelings they should refrain from meddling into that which does not concern them.

Of course, it is disappointing that you hear these remarks discerningly from Muslim women. We as Muslims should know better. There is a specific ayah in Quran about this.  Why don't you quote it should you be faced with similar annoyances in the future? That ought to silence them, insha'Allah.

[color=blue]Yaa 'ayyuhaa 'allatheena 'aamanu laa yaskharu qawmun min qawmin 3asaa 'an yakoonoo khayra) minhum wa laa nisaa'un min nisaa'in 3asaa 'an yakunna khayran minhunna wa laa talmizu anfuskum wa laa tanaabazu bi al alqaab  bi'sa al-ismu al-fusooq ba3da al-eemaan wa man lam yatub fa 'ulaa'ika hum ath-thaalimoon -Al-Hujuraat, verse 11.

49:11 O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor let some women laugh at others: It may be that the (latter are better than the (former): Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: And those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong. [/color]

wassalam


Re: Being Fat.
meraj
04/25/01 at 19:24:14
slm,

equally annoying is when umm.. not-so-slim people come up to slim people like myself and have the nerve to call us 'skinny'.. sheesh... i got nothin against people's physical appearances, but they should at least realize that no one is better that anyone else, so there is absolutely no justification for making negative remarks abotu someones physical appearance... Allah made us all a certian way and its our duty to accept that and take care of the body he made for us.

aiight thats all.. im through ranting now :)


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