Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| To my Madina Family |
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| Magableh |
| 04/26/01 at 22:09:34 |
| My dearest Brothers and Sisters, Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu! I was lying down and remembered something that my sister said to me, she said that if tomorrow never comes will *I* know how much she loves me. (I guess she heard it from a song) And it made me think of all of you! If I didn't wake in the morning would you know just how much your words of kindness and prayers have meant to me? Thus, here I am. :) (It's the addiction-and I'm using my laptop in bed) I want each and every one of you to know that I love you for the sake of Allah(swt). I am honoured, totally honoured to be a part of this community. I never knew what *family* was until I joined. And eventhough I have never met any of you in person and probably never will, you will forever have a place in my heart, and if I can *ever* do ANYTHING for any of you, please, please let me know! Let me give you an update on what's been going on with me... I was sitting with my sister talking and suddenly doubled over in pain. I fell to the floor screaming and I guess I just *passed out*. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital with tubes all over me. My sister pretty much told you *how* I got the problem I have, now I am just trying to deal with all of the repercussions(sp?). I have two cysts in my left kidney. The doctor drained the fluid from both of them and I have to go back every week to drain them until they go away. My heart beat will not go below 120 beats per minute. Because of this I have to wear a "holter monitor" that tracks my heart rate and sends the info back to the hospital. In that case if something happens and I am alone the hospital can call 911 and send them to me. I have severe joint pain. My left hip is so painful that I cannot stand without support. Apparently the adhesions from the Endo have gone into my muscles. (I don't know how this happened :( ) I can't lie down on my back because fluid comes up from my lungs and chokes me. I have a chest x-ray tomorrow. Insha'Allah it will be ok. I have migraine headaches about 2 times a week. So severe that I can't see. I was given medication for this also. Unfortunately the meds have side effects. I have a lot of intestinal distress. I can't eat because the minute the food hits my stomach I get intense pain. I won't go into detail about the rest. :) BTW - Did I mention how much I *despise* taking medication? And then there's the pain....my doctor asked me to give him 3 examples of how badly the pain hurts. Want to know? 1. It feels like a very strong person is grabbing my insides and squeezing them like a sponge. 2. It feels like I am going through labor and delivery on a daily basis. 3. At times it feels like I am being stabbed in the stomach and back with a very sharp knife. This is not an exaggeration. The pain is real and at times you forget about everything and just want to *die* so that the pain will go away. I want everyone to know that the simple things in life are not to be taken for granted. I used to be very healthy, running every day and playing tennis. And now I can't even bend over to pick something off the ground without getting dizzy from the pain. I have so much more to write but I can't finish now. I'm really not feeling well. Please hold on for the second half...I have to rest. May Allah (swt) bless all of you for the intense happiness that you all brought to me. I ask for your forgiveness if anything I have ever said on this board offended any of you. It was not intended. YOU ARE ALL WONDERFUL!!!!!! To the Brothers and Sisters who sent me personal messages and emails, please give me a few days to respond and I will respond to all of them! Your Sister in Islam, Serena P.S. I'll tell you what the doctor says about my future the next time also, Insha'Allah. |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| Magableh |
| 04/27/01 at 01:42:53 |
| Dear Brothers and Sisters, Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu! (I don't know how this moved from the Madrasatul Ilm to the Bebzi stand?) Anyways, to continue where I left off... I was supposed to have an operation to remove all of my reproductive organs as well as a 7 inch piece of my intestines. I didn't want this, and still don't, as my sister told you. I put up a fuss with the doctors telling them that there must be *something* else they can do besides that. So, he decided to do a *cleaning up* of my vital organs. What happens is that they go around and literally *burn* off the adhesions. (Ugh) I go in next Wednesday to do it. My doctor said that the probability of me feeling *any* better after this is about 30%. But, Alhamdulillah that is 30% more than I feel now if it works, Insha'Allah. May I speak from the heart? As I sat in that hospital bed, hooked up to so many monitors I couldn't help but think about dying. I was very afraid, and still am. I'm 28 years old with a beautiful daughter who desperately needs me. I know that my life is in Allah(swt)'s hands. And I know that the suffering I am enduring right now is Insha'Allah a purification for me. And keeping that in mind I see this illness not as a negative but as a blessing. I can't help but wonder though...what did I do wrong? Did I miss a prayer? Am I doing something that is haram yet I don't know it? I have tried in this short Islamic life of mine to live according to the Quran and Sunnah, and to raise my daughter Islamically. But I have done it 75% on my own. Maybe I'm not doing right by our Lord(swt)??? My sister felt that she was going to lose me. That's how sick I was/am. And knowing this makes me even *more* eager to be the best Muslimah that I can be. I want to pray more, fast more(Insha'Allah with my health), spend more time in rememberance of Allah(swt) and our Prophet Muhammad(saw). I have a very short list of good deeds that needs growth. Take it from me my Dear Brothers and Sisters, life is short, one day you might be walking outside laughing with those closest to you and then hours later end up in the hospital not knowing if you will get out of there. We never know if the time will come to make up those missed prayers or the fast of Ramadan. How do we know if we will be around to make Umrah next year, or even next month? I'm scared for my daughter. I can't be the mother to her that she is used to. We would run together, play around, jump, ride bicycles...none of which I can do now. If something happens to me what will happen to her? She has no other Islamic influence in her life! I sat and reflected on my life and realized that there is so much I want to do, and yet there are so many things I take for granted, not willingly, just because they don't seem that *big*. I am making a promise to myself to live everyday like it is my last. To take the hardships that are thrown my way as blessings and have patience, and gratitude for still being *alive*. To be grateful for whatever, good or bad, Allah(swt) has willed for me. To tell those around me how much they mean to me and how their presence in my life has changed me for the better. To take ignorance in stride and walk with my head held high(but lowering my gaze :) )To seek out knowledge to strengthen my iman. And to just *try* to be the Muslimah that I truly desire to be so that I may set an example for my daughter. If you have the opportunity today, look to the ones you love/adore/cherish/like, whatever...and tell them how you feel! You might not have that second chance. Thank Allah(swt) for all of the blessings in your life, even the smallest of them. Don't take anything, anything for granted, especially your health, because He(swt) gave it to you, and he can take it right back. Please forgive any mistakes in this post for I am very tired. If I have offended any of you, please forgive me for it was unintentional. You are all in my du'as. I ask Allah(swt) to protect all of you, keep you healthy, with high Iman, and preserve you as my dearest Brothers and Sisters! Wa'assalam, Serena P.S. - I will get around to those personal messages and emails tomorrow, Insha'Allah :-) |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| Kashif |
| 04/27/01 at 03:32:03 |
| wa alaikum us-salaam sister Serena, Its wonderful to be hearing from you again! May Allah reward you thru your patience. Ameen. Kashif Wa Salaam |
| NS |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| Barr |
| 04/27/01 at 04:59:51 |
| Wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullah wabarakaatuh :):):) Alhamdulillah, ukhti... and Jazakillah for those words... words to reflect upon :-) |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| BrKhalid |
| 04/27/01 at 05:15:24 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) Sr Serena I stumbled on this hadith in Muslim a few days ago and thought it was relevant in your situation. I hope it cheers you up a bit ;-) When Allah loves a servant, his fellow servants also begin to love him Abu Huraira reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: When Allah loves a servant, He calls Gabriel and says: Verily, I love so and so; you should also love him, and then Gabriel begins to love him. Then he makes an announcement in the heaven saying: Allah loves so and so and you also love him, and then the inhabitants of the Heaven (the Angels) also begin to love him and then there is conferred honour upon him in the earth; and when Allah is angry with any servant He calls Gabriel and says: I am angry with such and such and you also become angry with him, and then Gabriel also becomes angry and then makes an announcement amongst the inhabitants of heaven: Verily Allah is angry with so-and so, so you also become angry with him, and thus they also become angry with him. Then he becomes the object of wrath on the earth also. [Muslim] |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| eleanor |
| 04/27/01 at 07:46:44 |
| slm Alhumdoolillah, you're back again Serena! It's so good to see you posting again. When I read your posts I just couldn't believe how much I take for granted in this life of mine. You're absolutely right. We don't know when Allah will decide it's over for us and there's no point putting off prayers or fasts indefinitely when you know for certain you're not here indefinitely. Does that make sense? Hope so.. You can rest assured that Allah is *not* punishing you for anything that you may or may not have done. In fact he is pushing you to the limit and still you are full of conviction and resoluteness. Mash'Allah I admire you. If I had half your strength I could be proud. wasalaam eleanor |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| Kathy |
| 04/27/01 at 08:29:09 |
| slm "The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah, than the weak believer and there is goodness in both. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek help from Allah and do not despair. If a mishap should happen to befall on you then do not say 'If only I had acted... such and such would have happened.' Rather say 'Allah has decreed and what He wills, He does.' for verily "if" lets in the work of the devil." My dearest Serena you are in our hearts and prayers. |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| Anik |
| 04/27/01 at 09:12:49 |
| asalaamu alaikum, All I have to say is that Allah has one great servant in you; I wish you all the best and I trust that your faith will, as time reveals, be your most effective medicine... and there's no limit to how much you can take. All the best sister, May Allah watch over you and yours. asalaamu alaikum. anik,. |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| Zara |
| 04/27/01 at 10:15:56 |
| walaikum asalaam warahmahthullah my dear sister may allah ta'ala ease your pain and reward you for your patience. you have my sincere prayer and what you wrote was soo moving. jazahkallah for sharing your thoughts with us. it makes me contemplate all the things i take for granted, the sanctity of life and time that i waste. get well soon. asalaamu alaikum Zara |
| NS |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| jehad |
| 04/27/01 at 10:52:21 |
| Aslam Walakum. Aslam walakum, misfortune does not mean punishment, it could just be a test from Allah. Remember with every pain you feel there is reword and sins forgiven. People like me who are weak in the deen are not really tested. The People who are strongly with the deen like the sahabah and the mutakeen were tested in a very server manner. Inshallah you will be within my dua, I will also ask you to remember me within your dua, as the dua of people being tested is often excepted. May Allah reword you and your family and bring you all closer to him. |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| Magableh |
| 04/27/01 at 17:27:31 |
| Dear Brothers and Sisters, Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu! Jazakallah Khair for all of your welcomes!! It is good to be back! All of you are great supporters and I wish you all the best. You are in my du'as daily! Please keep me in yours for I have a big road to recovery still. I wish this board wasn't so addictive so that I could rest!! (lol) Your unworthy sister in Islam, Serena :-) |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| Rashid |
| 04/27/01 at 18:27:16 |
| [slm] I was really touched by your post Sr. It takes a truly great person to experience such pain and still hold fast to the deen of Allah. Believe me, people afflicted with less, complain more. I am humbled. [wlm] |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| UmmZaid |
| 04/27/01 at 21:48:46 |
| Salaam 'Alaikum Serena: I'll pray for your quick recovery, or your entry into Jennah, which ever Allah wills for you, and that your daughter is protected and guided in her life in Islam. :*( |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| meraj |
| 04/27/01 at 22:33:02 |
| slm, sr serena, lemme just say that theres (unfortunately) very little that really makes me just want to cry, but when i read your first 2 posts in this thread, i had to negotiate with my eyes to keep the tears from flowing... alhamdulillah, you're well enough to be able to satisfy your addiction for interacting with this community ;-D ... you said that you wish to lengthen your short list of good deeds, well i can tell you that the very awakening message you posted defenitely made me think, and inshallah it has inspired me to make some changes within myself for the better... and i am sure i am not the only one who has benefited from your words, so may Allah reward you many many times over for simply the words you have written :) and alhamdulillah we are very very greatful and blessed to have you and you daughter as part of our family.. thats one of the things about islam that never ceases to amaze me.. the incredible stress placed on the importance of brotherhood/sisterhood. so inshallah inshallah inshallah we will make duaa for a swift and complete recovery for you and inshallah may Allah guide us and protect us all, ameen :) |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| Anonymous |
| 04/28/01 at 00:38:31 |
| assalamu alaikum wa rahmat'Allah, my sister had a brain haemorage a few years ago. She had brain surgery, and survived, she lost her ability to speak, th edoctors had shaved half her head so that when she would go to the bathroom, she would see herslf in the mirror and cry. I remember being by her bedside and telling her how she was going to get better, and her tears would start flowing. Especially the first few days when she could not even move. Alhamdulillah, she made a complete recovery. So much so, that even the doctors were surprised. Just hang in there, Insha'Allah, it won't be for much longer, Allah tests those he loves, and He will not test you with a burden you are unable to bear. All this means is that you are stronger than the rest, and deep down you know it. And Allah subhanu wa ta'ala loves you more than the rest, and you have to keep that at the front of your mind, and purify your niyaa, so that when you get better, and make a complete recovery Insha'Allah, your maqam will be raised with Allah. It is at these times that you have to be strongest. Love was split into 100 parts. 1 part was given to beni Adam, and 99 were kept by Allah. salam our dua's are with you |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| BroHanif |
| 04/28/01 at 05:00:17 |
| walaikum asalaam warahmahthullah wabaraktuh, May Allah make it easy for you in your condition, Insha-allah I'll make dua that your condition improves and along with all other muslims. Your post had such an effect on me, that I had tears swelled in my eyes. Thanks for the good dawah May Allah bless you and your family. If I can ask for one thing is to make dua for me for hidahyat and guidance. If theres anything else that I could do to help on this side of the pond please drop me a message. Salaam, |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| ahmer |
| 04/29/01 at 01:41:50 |
| salam alaikum sister i was touched to hear your story and really got worried. As the hadith says AL muslimu kal jismal wahid.. muslims are like one single physical body..!! Insha'Allah you will be once again in great shape to serve islam. i and we all in new brunswick, NJ are praying for you insha'Allah cuz prayers are more powerful than anything!! Keep the faith, and remember the Hadith that when a misfortune related to health comes to a muslim it actually contributes to wiping off the sins..!! Subhan'Allah..:)) We are all praying . May Allah bless you and your child as well.. Insha'Allah Allahuma la ta'da'lana fi laylatina haza mareezu'n illa shafyitah.. "Oh Allah Do not pass this night unless the sick are given shifa(cure) by you" Ameen Salam Alaikum Wajahat Husain(ahmer =red..:-) ) |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| Anonymous |
| 05/04/01 at 23:04:53 |
| Assalam'alaykum, Anyone has news from sister Serena? I was wondering how she feels at the moment? Wassalam |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| Magableh |
| 05/06/01 at 22:21:34 |
| Hello Anonymous, this is Cindy. (hi everyone. I hope you are all well.) To answer your question, Serena is not doing very good at all, at this time. When she gets better i'm sure she'll be back online to let you know how she is. This is a question from me-can you read the English version of the Koran without doing the purifying cleanse? Cindy |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| jannah |
| 05/06/01 at 23:18:35 |
| Cindy, yes you can. The restrictions of the Quran are with the actual Quran-arabic version, not the english. If there is more english than arabic it's considered a tafseer-commentary book, so has no restrictions. |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| Magableh |
| 05/07/01 at 00:10:20 |
| Thank you Jannah. Cindy |
| Re: To my Madina Family |
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| Malika |
| 05/07/01 at 11:38:58 |
| slm, My sister Serena, I came to this post a littlea late after the main post and it was so touching to me. You are indeed stronger in your Deen than me and I pray that Inshallah I will become stronger and worthy of Allah ta'ala's love. My sister may Allah continue to guide you and strengthen you and accept your good deeds. May your list of good deeds be much longer than you can remember. Ameen. Please rest and concentrate on getting better. I will continue to make Dua's for you and ask that you make Dua for me that Allah bless me with guidance and strengthen my deen. Inshallah, we will all be able to meet in Jannah. Ameen Now that will be a Good reunion :) Cindy, Thank you for keeping us aware of Sister Serena's condition. Malika |
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