how do we take advice?

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how do we take advice?
jehad
04/27/01 at 04:31:08
when some one says some thing that might be taken as a negative statement about our selves or our actions, do we take offence or except with gratitude?
its to do with pride
"pride is my cloke and grateness is my robe, whoe ever competes with me in this i shale throw in to the fire"
Re: how do we take advice?
jannah
04/27/01 at 23:25:27
jehad brother and madina community,

a person does not have to be arrogant to find insults offensive. in fact there are many humble good muslims that may find something one says to be negative or offensive even though you may think you said something right. you may think you are saying something right islamically but to someone else if it is offensive to them or they find it negative. they will then not even bother to hear what you said. it will just turn them off islam from the beginning.

it really matters how we say things and how we back up what we say. we should not on this board or anywhere else just spout offensive opinions. this isn't islam. we should be extremely careful about what we say and how we say it because we will be held accountable for both.
does anyone want to turn another muslim away from islam??? imagine.. how can we answer to Allah for doing that on the day of judgement when we thought we were doing something right?

we should all take a lesson from the way the prophet [saw] made dawah. he never insulted other people's family, pagan religion or hurt other people in any way.. even though he had many opportunities of saying something correct. if you say something it may be correct islamically but the way you say it may offend people. and no they do not have to be arrogant people to be offended. again they may be very humble good muslims that find the way a person says things negative and then that turns them off and they don't even hear the message itself. so if a person really believes in islam, they should think first before they speak. you don't just say things that insult or offend other people because you feel it is correct. it might really turn them away from islam.

didn't Allah say in the Quran:
[color=red]6.108 Revile not ye those whom they call upon besides Allah, lest they out of spite revile Allah in their ignorance. Thus have We made alluring to each people its own doings. In the end will they return to their Lord, and He shall then tell them the truth of all that they did.[/color]

what a basic fundamental of dawah... why can't we revile or insult those fake god's people call to? the worst thing a human being can do, worship god's other than Allah !!!  because.. as the verse says..whatever we say will make them hate Allah and islam in ignorant reaction.. and who's to blame?? to the people who did it --it seemed like a good deed... but in the end they'll be returned to their Lord to answer for it.



Re: how do we take advice?
Arsalan
04/28/01 at 01:48:36
[slm]

There was a totally awesome article which was printed in the Jumu'ah magazine (like 2 years ago?) talking about giving and taking naseehah.

If I find it, and find the time, I'll put it up here insha Allah.  For now, let me just say that it doesn't make sense to talk about just the "takng-advice" part without talking about the "giving-advice" part.

Or vice versa.
Re: how do we take advice?
Mona
04/28/01 at 08:02:45
Assalamu alaikum Jehad,

That's an important question you raise.  It is true, most people will be offended if you give them un-solicited advice.  Subhaha Allah, we all like our privacies and freedoms.  Few people -the extraoridnally strong and far-sighted ones excepted, will look beyond the manner in which an offensive naseeha is delivered and focus on whether it really applies to them.  It is very hard to accept/admit one's own faults. This is basic human nature, with few rare exceptions.

Thus the person who gives naseeha [advice] has to be aware of:

a. His/her level of knowledge and whether it makes him/her qualified to give advice to others.  Look within yourself first.  

b. His or her intentions - why is s/he giving advice? To prove s/he's more knowledgeble or because s/he sincerely cares about the person who is being advised and honestly wishes to help them

c. Human nature which is, in general, very defensive and argumantative when offended - and everyone is easily offended.  When the naseeha is given bilhusna, with an open mind and heart and without calling names and pointing fingers, it stands a good chance of being taken seriously.  

As Jannah mentioned, our best example is Ar-rasul [saw]. The ayah she quoted is very very insightful.  We are instructed by Allah swa to refrain from insulting other religions and dieties lest they insult the true religion of Allah.

Wassalam
Re: how do we take advice?
BrKhalid
04/28/01 at 09:31:49
Asalaamu Alaikum ;-)

[quote] Human nature which is, in general, very defensive and argumentative when offended - and everyone is easily offended [/quote]

How very true Sr Mona

Sometimes it’s very hard to keep an open mind and stay objective.
Re: how do we take advice?
jehad
04/28/01 at 11:51:49
Aslam walakum, Jannah,
(big smile, and nod)


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