Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| To work or not to work..... |
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| Anonymous |
| 05/03/01 at 17:03:48 |
| Sallam sisters, Hope you can help, Being pregnant and expecting in 10 weeks insha-allah i have a dilemma, one which i hope you can help. I'm currently working in the local authority a a computer programmer and i am wondering whether i should leave work permanently or keep it open allowing me to return if i wisk to do so. The situation is as follows: I'm expecting my first child insha-allah and we both believe its important for one of us to stay with the baby. We want to give itt the best upbringing islamically and i would like to spend as much time with the baby insha-allah. The local authority can keep your post open for a year allowing you to take a year out and return p/t. However, having not been in this situation i'm not sure how i'll feel once the baby arrives and i'm not keen on nurserys or the in laws looking after the child should i go back to work. A year seems a long time and who knows how i'll feel or changes in curcumstances so i would appreciate any advice given by yourselves. Fortunately i don't have to work but having worked all my life i'm quite scared at this radical change in my life - i guess my hormones are really playing up. I often say to myself being 26 i could start looking for work after a year or two and see what happens. What d'u think? Please advice. ps is there anyone out there who is currently homeworking? i'd love to know more. Sister Sajeda |
| Re: To work or not to work..... |
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| jehad |
| 05/04/01 at 05:06:30 |
| It is hallal in Islam for women to work as long as the job does not involve her doing harram or missing farrad. BUT the primary role of the women in Islam is as a mother and wife. It is not farrad for her to work. The role of the male is as a husband and provider. It is farrad for him to provide. In western society they look down on women not working and raising children, that is because they want a larger work force so wages will go down. I think every sane person will admit a mother makes a better parent then a paid childminder. |
| Re: To work or not to work..... |
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| Kathy |
| 05/04/01 at 08:19:45 |
| As salaamu alaykum. I am a "home worker." In my opinion, my child is one of the most important tests for me. I used to work full time and had to come to a decision also. A daycare provider will have an immence affect on my childs life. I know how I am. I know what my deen and lifestyle are like. There was no way I wanted to take a chance and hand him over to another. If you have the choice- raise your child. Believe me it will be harder than any job you have had. Yet, the rewards are unmeasurable. |
| Re: To work or not to work..... |
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| nehar |
| 05/05/01 at 03:40:21 |
| [slm] sister, i think u should stay with ur child as it is her or his right. As the jehad mentioned its the husbands duty 2 provide. I think it should b ok 4 u 2 work when the child At school, but b4 that, plz dont, cuz ur childs future is affected by what u do. [wlm] Nehar |
| Re: To work or not to work..... |
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| Mary |
| 05/11/01 at 09:16:50 |
| Assalaamu alakium I look at your situation like this. First, in Islam it is the primary role of a woman to be a wife and mother... But I had always planned on working. A liberated woman, I was always going to be able to support myself, never be dependant. After I married I no longer needed to work but did because I liked being out with people. I planned on going back after my first baby because I wanted to. Until matenity leave. Being home and getting ready. Then after the baby I knew I wouldn't go back. Because... I wanted to be with her full time. And I knew that I wanted her following our example not that of a daycare provider. And.. As for wanting to work. It suddenly seemed very selfish to me.I knew my baby came first. And it is still that way for all of my kids. I see so many kids at school events or sporting events that are there alone, or with someone that isn't really interested. When I worked out side the home I finished each day. Once in while I had to work overtime to finish but I finished! Now and for the last 20 years there hasn't been enough hours in anyday to finish anything. So don't worry about being bored. And last think of the things you would miss. I am now and for 20 years a daycare provider. I have been there when 15 children smiled the first smile, giggled out loud,took first steps, said first words. So many kids called me mom I cant even count. I get to report at night to parents to tired to get excited that we went to the park or the zoo or swimming. Or that somebody went potty on the potty and was dry all day. I know every kid sing-along there is. I would never change a minute of any of it. Well maybe a few 100 diapers. If I were you I'd take the best promotion ever, move from employee to Mommy. |
| Re: To work or not to work..... |
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| widad |
| 05/17/01 at 17:42:21 |
| slm I have been an at-home mom for twenty years and alhamdulillah after my youngest went to school I got a very good job(as an accountant),I'm leaving work again now cause my eldest daughter finished her college studies and wants to stay at home,and since I feel my kids come first,I will inshallah leave the job and stay at home and do a lot of projects and fun things with her at home. Before that when I was bringing them up,I had the chance to learn,French,crocheting,chinese and indonesian cooking,lots of other crafts and took a few courses(word and excel). Believe me I didn't feel I lost anything from staying at home,on the contrary I feel that I have given them the care and love they needed,we played lego together,made home magazines,finger-painted,made ice pops,cookies...etc |
| NS |
| Re: To work or not to work..... |
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| jehad |
| 05/17/01 at 18:05:11 |
| My mum got married at 16 and has been a stay at home mum ever since. her cooking is really nice, when i go some where with my friends any food which my mum gives us gets finished strate away. and every one wants to eat in my house. i find it hard to eat in other peoples houses as their food seems very basic to me. my mum might not have any degrees but when is comes to being a mum she is a lot better then a lot of others since thats what she has been doing ever since she left school. they don't have mothering classes in universities. |
| Re: To work or not to work..... |
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| Mahmoodah |
| 05/17/01 at 19:19:43 |
| salam, thats so sweeet abt ur mum br jehad!!! my mum doesnt hav a job or degree either, n shez the best mum ne1 can hav!!! even if there was a degree in mothering, then it still would'nt teacch the right n xact stuff!!! I'm not makin ne sense, am i??? wa-salam |
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