Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| The Surrendered Wife |
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| Barr |
| 05/06/01 at 08:21:55 |
| Assalamu'alaikum, ya akhawat! Subhanallah... check this out... I don't know whether to post this in the Int'l House of Kabob or here... A friend recommended this to me, and I'm so GLAD and THANKFUL that I'm a Muslim woman, alhamdulillah. http://www.surrenderedwife.com/ It's a new book (The Surrendered Wife), about revitalising marriages and certainly, has raised a few eyebrows in the Western world... I haven't read the book, but managed to read the free first chapter (check the website!)... seems pretty Islamic to me...though there are a few things that raised MY eyebrows (see quote below)! Tell me what U think, inshaALlah :) U might also be interested to go to this website: http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/talking_point/forum/newsid_1251000/1251091.stm I'm not very comfortable with the statement below, though... maybe I understand it differently? [quote] Respect means that when he takes the wrong freeway exit you don't correct him by telling him where to turn. It means that if he keeps going in the wrong direction you will go past the state line and still not correct what he's doing. In fact, no matter what your husband does, you will not try to teach, improve, or correct him. Chapter 1:Respect the Man You Married by Listening to Him The Surrendered Wife [/quote] |
| Re: The Surrendered Wife |
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| Mona |
| 05/06/01 at 18:41:55 |
| Assalamu alaikum, Interesting book. The tid bits of Ch.1 that I read contains sound advice for wives. Why it assumes that husbands are in general docile and non-controlling escapes me. Maybe she goes into that later on. In regards to the quote, it all depends on how u phrase things. If you say "Hon, I am so glad that you are being spontaneous today by taking us to [insert name of state/city here] instead of **" , then you'd point out that he is driving in another direction than the intended one. The outcome maybe one of two, he'd either : a. turn around to go to the road leading to the original destination, thanking you for alerting him about it, [i]or[/i] b. decide not admit his error, lie thru his teeth and say, yeah sure dear, I meant it as a surprise for you. then he'd take u somewhere nice to make up for this. I'd say it is a win win situation :) That is what I call subliminal control *evil grin* |
| Re: The Surrendered Wife |
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| Saleema |
| 05/07/01 at 00:13:29 |
| [slm] The book has pretty good advise in it but some of the stuff in it is wack. Like the above quote in there. When my husband does that I'm going to correct him, or next time I will drive and he can sit in the passenger seat! When I make mistakes or sin, I expect my husband to correct me in a gentle manner and I expect from him that he should listen too when I correct his mistakes. Of course no wife that had sense in her would yell her head off at her husband just because he made a wrong turn, but she shouldn't sit there like an idiot either. Islam teaches us to do good and forbid evil. The husband has rights over the wife and the wife has rights over the husband. Thank God for Islam, the middle path. [wlm] Saleema |
| Re: The Surrendered Wife |
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| eleanor |
| 05/08/01 at 04:39:08 |
| slm ehh..sorry...but I'd get it even worse if my husband realised that I *knew* he had gone wrong and hadn't said anything. That's not respect that's just plain stupid. What with the price of petrol and everything. It all comes down to the *way* you say it. I'd just say "emm..shouldn't we have taken the next exit, or do you know a different way?" I'm going to go and check out those links now Insha Allah and post again what I thought, but I had to unload that first. wasalaam eleanor |
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