Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Seeking friendship and support |
|---|
| Ahlam |
| 05/08/01 at 04:31:19 |
| I have spent many years searching for truth and I have found it in Islam. I still have much to learn, but it seems to be very hard to find muslims around here. I have tried to learn my prayers from books, but most of them are different and very confusing. I am very upset that my parents are not understanding of this. They call me crazy and say bad things about my friends over the internet. I am afraid to pray in my house because they may catch me. I should not have to be afraid. If I were ever to wear covering I fear they would disown me. I feel so terrible as a muslim because I am not doing what I should. I have given up everything with pork and drinking and even smoking. I have stopped doing the bad things, but the good things are not coming as easily. Every day I am bombarded with sexual comments and disgusting thoughts because I go to a tech school where there are only about 6 women and the rest men. My life as it is today is making me sick.......I need to change. I need help and I hope there is someone out there who can help me. I would especially like to hear from people in the Pittsburgh area of PA, but all words of wisdom will be welcome. Ahlam |
| Re: Seeking friendship and support |
|---|
| Safiya |
| 05/08/01 at 05:26:17 |
| Salaam alaykum sister hope you are in the best of imaan and health sister i dont know what to say, i dont want to give bad advice, inshallah im hoping the wiser br's and sr's will reply to you. make dua- pray to Allah to improve your situation,be patient -Allah is with those who are patient, deal with things as best as you can as a muslim, dont give up your search for muslims around your area... you probably know all this but, believers are there to remind each other to be steadfast on Allah's path... Allah says in the Quran " and after hardship comes ease, verliy after hardship comes ease" May Allah make things easier for you inshallah my email is on my profile if you would like to contact me for anything... take care -i'll make dua for you |
| Re: Seeking friendship and support |
|---|
| eleanor |
| 05/08/01 at 05:31:16 |
| Assalamu Alaimum Sister Aimee congratulations on finding the true path. I can understand what you're going through since I am a recent revert to Islam and am still going through some of the things you are. My first advice to you is to stay on this board. Any questions you ever have, you can post them here and get answers. Here in the Madina you will get support, encouragement and a true feeling of belonging. There are also many people at the Madina who had problems with their family upon taking on Islam. They stuck it out for better or worse and you can do it too. Just have faith and belief that Islam is true and correct and that Allah is with you through all your difficulties. Unfortunately I live too far away from you to be of much practical help but I'm sure some of the brothers and sisters on the board can get you in contact with some Muslims in your area. It may be hard for you, but if you are getting unwanted sexual attention at your school it might be an idea for you to wear hijab. (the covering). That gives a firm and clear message that this girl is not to be messed around with. If you're afraid of your parents reaction then take it off before coming home. You say that as a Muslim you are not doing what you should? But where does it say we should eat pork, drink alcohol or smoke?? Whose advice do we follow? Friends and family's? Or God's? You've stopped doing the bad things..Well done! :) It takes time to start doing the good things. (by this I assume you mean praying, wearing hijab etc). The first and most important step is to declare Shahada. That you believe there is no God but Allah and Mohammad (pbuh) was his messenger. Then you are a Muslim. All your sins from the past are forgiven and you have a clean slate to start again. If you die the next day, you go to Paradise. Allah is a patient and merciful God. He doesn't expect you to start everything all at once. Start with the Shahada and the rest will come. I hope this has helped you a little bit. Stay strong and stay in touch. your sister eleanor Assalamu Alaikum |
| Re: Seeking friendship and support |
|---|
| jehad |
| 05/08/01 at 06:57:43 |
| Asalm walakum. After saying the shahada the most important thing I think you should do is to make some real Muslim friends. I say real cause I don't mean people on the internat. Jannah has a big list of organisations on her mama list thing on her web page. Try finding a musjid or something near you. Net chat rooms is not a good thing, you can't see who you are talking to and they seem to be filled with perverts any way. Pittsburgh is a major city so it should have a Muslim community, but identification and introduction can be difficult. Inshallah the sisters in America will help you find friends who are near you, or at least friends who can meet you. It is best to learn from real people rather then books, books can seem very vague and seem to contradict them selves and each other, due to the fact that you cant ask a book a question and a book can't correct your mistakes or ask if you have you have understood it correctly. So it is very important that you meet people that you can learn from. |
| Re: Seeking friendship and support |
|---|
| bhaloo |
| 05/08/01 at 07:54:15 |
| slm Visit this website and enter your zipcode, then it will tell you all the masjids in your area that you can contact and insha'Allah you will be able to help you and you can make friends. http://www.islamicfinder.org Quite a few people on here have gone through similiar experiences, and they know what you are feeling. As for how to pray and even prayer timings, I have a few resources on this here: http://members.home.net/arshad/prayerres.html If there are any questions you have at all about anything, please let us know, we are all here to help you and welcome you as our sister in Islam. :) |
| Thank you for your support so far |
|---|
| Ahlam |
| 05/08/01 at 16:03:08 |
| Assalamu Alaikum brothers and sisters I would like to thank all of you for your kind words and wise advice. May Allah bless you with health and happiness. |
| Re: Seeking friendship and support |
|---|
| Saleema |
| 05/08/01 at 22:52:31 |
| [slm] Congradulations Ahlam! Welcome to this board and to the Muslim family. I'm sorry to hear about ur situation. Where do you live? You don't have to give me an exact location. And how old are you? And then inshallah maybe I can help you then or someone else can with good advice. [wlm] Saleema |
| Re: Seeking friendship and support |
|---|
| Anik |
| 05/08/01 at 23:45:32 |
| A.A. wow U just told my Life story right now I just took shahada at a masjid on Friday (after saying it in my heart for months) before, i was just a muslim on the net, here at jannah.org too scared to come out but I am right, Islam is right, so why should i hide i thought I can't pray at home either From what I am seeing, you are changing for the best. Masha'Allah. A.A. abdullah,. |
| Re: Seeking friendship and support |
|---|
| chachi |
| 05/09/01 at 17:52:06 |
Salaam hmm the advice i can give you.. you'll find that most muslims are extremely gregarious and extroverted ...unlike some people we could mention *s* ..that dosn't mean that they will share all your interests! so be friendly with everyone, then choose a few people who share your interests as the people with whom you spend the majority of your time but most of all choose people with whom you can have a decent islamic conversation, the worst of people you will find are those who want to get into a argument and use the hadith as their hammer and you as their anvil wasalaam |
| Re: Seeking friendship and support |
|---|
| se7en |
| 05/09/01 at 20:50:41 |
| Ahlam welcome to the board :) It's nice to have you on here... [quote] I have spent many years searching for truth and I have found it in Islam.[/quote] :) that's awesome to hear. May Allah guide you always :) [quote] I still have much to learn, but it seems to be very hard to find muslims around here. I have tried to learn my prayers from books, but most of them are different and very confusing. [/quote] Yeah, books are really difficult if you're not well-acquainted with the authors and what their backgrounds are. It's the same with a lot of websites, a lot of times you just don't know where this information is coming from. There also aren't all that many good books for new Muslims on how to perform wudu and prayer. I think it's really important to find some good Muslims in your area that can introduce you to the community and help you out with a lot of the problems you are having.. You can email me [se7en@jannah.org] if you'd like, and I'll try to hook you up with some Muslims in the area (though the only ones I can think of in pennsylvania live in philly) [quote]I am very upset that my parents are not understanding of this. They call me crazy and say bad things about my friends over the internet. I am afraid to pray in my house because they may catch me. I should not have to be afraid. If I were ever to wear covering I fear they would disown me. [/quote] Man, what can I tell you. It's real easy for me to sit here and say, you need to be true to yourself and be strong in your Islam... that we all will stand before Allah *alone* and this is what we have to keep in mind... that the Qur'an says for those who are dealing with difficulty that they should "lose not heart, nor fall into despair; for you must gain mastery if you are true in faith"... and that any difficulties we go through are just tests that purify us and make us better, stronger Muslims... that life is all about struggle, about going up against the odds despite what people may say or think of us, and that that's not necessarily a bad thing because we know that any pain or problem or hardship we go through in this life for Allah will purify us and bring us so much reward in the akhira... and it's so worth it no matter how much stuff you have to deal with because what's this life relative to infinity? but saying these things is a lot easier than doing them.. so I'm going to shut up about this now.. [quote]Every day I am bombarded with sexual comments and disgusting thoughts because I go to a tech school where there are only about 6 women and the rest men. [/quote] We have this one polytechnic institute in this area where the guy to girl ratio is like 20 to 1... a lot of the sisters who go into engineering and attend the school feel very uncomfortable and it's real tough sometimes... but one of the sisters was telling me that you just need to be very assertive and clear as to who you are and what kind of behavior you will and will not tolerate... and then those techie geeks will leave you alone :P I think it's really important for you to lay down the line... and say "there's no need for you to be so disrespectful. that's a very inappropriate comment... don't say that to me again" You'll probably be called 'frigid' or 'anti-male' or whatever but it's worth it for you to make sure people know that you demand respect and you won't take any of that trash from people... Another thing... just know that Allah only tests those that He loves.. and that when times are hard, and life is rough, and the path is steep, think of where this is bringing you in terms of Allah... Allah *knows* the struggle you're going through... He knows how difficult it is to get your lazy self up for fajr when it's freezing out... how difficult it is to keep your gaze lowered or your mouth shut when you want to do otherwise... He *knows* the tears you shed at night, the grief you feel in your heart, the doubts that cloud your mind... how difficult it is for you to focus in prayer or to defend Islam or to keep from thinking things you shouldn't... the kiraamul katibeen are recording every little thing you do or don't do for the sake of Allah... so just know that... just keep struggling... and Allah will forgive you and purify you and honor you for everything you've been through for His sake... and it's so worth it.. wAllahu 'alam.. wasalaamu alaykum. (ps - a pretty cool page with lots of stories about Muslim converts: [url]http://thetruereligion.org/converts.htm[/url]) |
| Re: Seeking friendship and support |
|---|
| Laboogie |
| 05/09/01 at 20:53:36 |
| [slm] oh sister se7en, u are sooooooo beautiful with your words,masha-allah...May Allah continue to give u the gift/talent that u have...and reward u for your efforts. peace out hermanita love ya :) |
| Such Kindness comes from Allah |
|---|
| Ahlam |
| 05/10/01 at 16:38:19 |
| Assalamu Alaikum brothers and sisters Never have I experienced such genuine kindness in my life than from the people on this site. I feel like I have met the most supportive people in the world. I could never thank you all enough for your kindness and generosity. Please, if any of you need anything or someone to talk to, don't hesitate to email me. I shall be your support and friend also. One cannot take and never give. May Allah bless all of you indefiniatly. |
Individual posts do not necessarily reflect the views of Jannah.org, Islam, or all Muslims. All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners. Comments are owned by the poster and may not be used without consent of the author.The rest © Jannah.Org |