Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Parent problem post-marriage |
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| Anonymous |
| 05/28/01 at 21:10:41 |
| as-salaamu alaikum I'm planning to marry soon, and as some of you may know, in the Pakistani/Indian culture the parents of the man expect the son and daughter in law to stay with them for x period of time afterwards. I have brothers, who will be non-mahram to my wife, so she will have to cover in front of them, which i think would be quite tough on her. What do you think is the best thing to say to my parents regarding the need for moving out after marriage, without sounding like i'm disobedient to them or that i don't love them. Because that is exactly the conclusion that they will jump to. (Other than the one about the wife conspiring to separate me from my parents) I've already tried the obvious reasons, but i'm keen to hear your advice. jazakumullahu khair. Wa salaamu alaikum |
| Re: Parent problem post-marriage |
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| Zara |
| 05/29/01 at 12:35:26 |
| [slm] The following book is ideal for anyone considering marriage. [B]A GIFT TO THE HUSBAND AND WIFE[/B]. It is a recent translation of an urdu book by Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi. I think it covers the issue in hand quite adequately so if you could get a copy of the book, it may be of benefit for you. Here's the link to purchase it online http://www.almadina.co.uk/scripts/catalogue.cgi?com=view&cid=1&sid=991156611&id=130 [wlm] Zara |
| NS |
| Re: Parent problem post-marriage |
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| eleanor |
| 05/29/01 at 15:16:10 |
| slm If your wife is not from India or Pakistan then I'm sure they'll understand. I have parents-in-law from this area and anything that I do "differently" they don't take offence or think I'm going against them, they just accept me for being from a different culture. If she *is* from India or Pakistan then you could both sit down with your parents and discuss it. They'll get over it. I have a related question: is the father-in-law Mahram or non-Mahram? I was just wondering about that recently because if not then I can't go on Umrah with mine because I'll be without Mahram there and that's not allowed... wasalaam eleanor |
| Re: Parent problem post-marriage |
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| jannah |
| 05/29/01 at 15:17:45 |
| wlm, your father in law becomes your mahram after marriage. you don't even have to wear hijab around him. |
| Re: Parent problem post-marriage |
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| Spring |
| 05/29/01 at 18:55:16 |
| Assalamu 'alaikum Your concern for your wife is admirable, masha Allah. Amongst some families from the subcontinent it is considered acceptable if the son and daughter-in-law stay with them for a short while, perhaps a year or so and then move away into theeir own place. But, perhaps it also depends on how traditional your parents are and how much they expect to stick to cultural norms. Also, do your parents need looking after?? Some parents don't seem to mind if their son lives close by, at least. |
| Re: Parent problem post-marriage |
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| nehar |
| 05/29/01 at 21:22:24 |
| [slm] mash'allah, its nice 2 c the bros watchin out 4 their wives. I think as morning mist mentioned, just make sure you visit regularly and inshaalah every thing will be fine [wlm] Nehar |
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