Madina Archives

Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

The Final Straw
Kiwaku
06/04/01 at 15:01:57
Asalam Alaikum my wonderful brothers and sisters, Below is a copy of a letter written to my fiance in Saudi Arabia. I thought that it would raise some eyebrows and perhaps open some eyes to the problems facing one humble and pious brother here in the States. Asalam Alaikum It is with a heavy hand and a very wounded heart that I write to you today. Yesterday after I had written you my mother and I had a terrible argument over you and my decision of Islam. Nadja, I stood firm in my beliefs of you, and of Islam. My mother grew more and more angry with me, telling me that she had not raised me this way, and that the entire choice of Islam for me was just a childish fantasy. She went on to say that I had always been the one who went out of my way growing up to be different. I had always wanted to be different than every body I was in school with and different from my family. She again told me that she could not understand why I was so driven to be different than everybody else. In short, again like all other times, she was comparing me to my successful, and very well liked brothers. I have always known that I was the "black-sheep" of the family. But her words yesterday cut right to my heart. I do not think she has realized just how badly her rejection of me has hurt. She refuses to even try and learn anything about Islam, yet she continues to spout "chrisitan" teachings not realizing that it is the same things taught in Islam. When I try and point this out to her, she scoffs. So, in trying to be a good Muslim I quickly apologized to her for my abrupt and curt way of talking with her and just listened as she continued to degrade the only religion that has ever given me what I truly need and desire in my life and for the lives of my children. She went on to say that she wanted me to marry a good christian woman and that she wanted me to drop the "fantasy" of marrying you. Again, her words cut me like the sharpest sword on the block of a public execution. I will reassure you at this time that I know in my heart of hearts that my love for Allah and for you is no fantasy. I will continue to remain strong in my deen and make every effort to continue to be a good son to my parents, and a good Muslim example to my children. And in sha' Allah a good husband to you when the time comes for us. Last night I could not sleep, at all.... Her words to me continued to ring in my head. I began to realize that I am the "black-sheep" of the family, and that I have always been the different one. This is a reality that I have tried all of my many years of life to hide from. I will hide no longer. I know if I continue to embrace Islam it will drive me farther from my parents, but, to be honest, to be driven from my parents to the arms of Allah is a comfort. For I know that my place in Jannah will be more comforting and loving than I could ever experience from my own family. I have prayed that this day would never come with my family. But the reality of it is that it is here. If Allah wills it, my family will eventually come around and know that I am not going to falter in my faith. I know, though sadly, that their hearts will harden against me, and that no matter what I do they will never respect my decisions. Thus, I am over the next year of my schooling going to continue to be a good son, providing for my parents in the way that is written for me to do in the Holy Qur'an. However, during this year, I will be seeking employment in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia as a nurse. I know it will not be easy for me to gain employment as a male nurse, but I must try, for the sake of my deen and the sake of my daughters. I can no longer live in a country that continues to become more and more like the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. I need to be amongst people that believe like I do and will help me to increase my deen. Even if it means leaving my family here in the States. I know that my children would benefit greatly from learning properly and in a safe environment. Pray for me, my dear saaliha. Share this letter with all those that might benefit from it. Sumaya might like to read it as well, as she is going through the same things that I am at this moment. May Allah bless and protect you always and forever. I would like, at this time to ask for any and all assistance in this problem and with the issues stated above. Any, and all, advice and/or help would be greatly appreciated. May Allah shine his blessings on all of you. Sincerely, A very saddened and troubled, Usamah

Re: The Final Straw
Arsalan
06/04/01 at 16:58:10
[slm] Brother Usamah, may Allah give you strength, patience and wisdom to deal with these tough times.  Let not the harsh words of your parents discourage you.  Let them be a motivation, as I am sure you know that most of the righteous people throughout the history of mankind were considered to be "black sheep" by others.  They were criticized, mocked, driven out of their homes, fought, and sometimes even killed.  You do not need to go far to look for examples.  Just look at the Prophet (pbuh) himself.  How he suffered exile from his people.  He was boycotted.  He was mocked, humiliated in public.  Even his uncle turned against him.  And he was fought vigorously, again by his own people, in several battles.  All this for what?  For being different.  For being the "black sheep." (wal 'iyaadhu billah)  Righteousness is rare to find these days.  So is guidance.  We Muslims possess both, alhamdulillah.  And this means that we will indeed be different from the rest of the people by default.  This is the essence of our struggle.  This is how we will attain Paradise.  Through this struggle of ours.  Keep asking Allah for His help, because we all need it. Dealing with parents is the most difficult ordeal.  Whether it is for converts like you, or Muslims who have renewed their passion in Islam like Dhikr.  This is why Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aala) has given such a high status to being kind to one's parents.  So much so that you will often find the ordainment of kind treatment of parents right next to worshipping none but Allah. [color=green] 2:83 Worship none but Allah. treat with kindness your parents 4:36 Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents 6:151 Join not anything with Him; be good to your parents 17:23 Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents 31:14 Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal[/color] etc. Be firm yaa akhi, but be humble.  And know that you are on the right path.  The path of those who are the Friends of Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aala), and the enemies of Shaytaan.  The path of those who will attain the highest levels in Paradise.  The path of the Prophets, the Messengers, the Companions, the Martyrs and the Pious.  The path of those who Allah is well pleased with.   And don't let *anyone* deviate you from it. May Allah help you and shower His Mercy upon you.   Wassalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah.

Re: The Final Straw
chachi
06/04/01 at 17:08:20
Patience Akhi Islam is a Stranger you are not the first or the last welcome to the company of the sawaliheen

Re: The Final Straw
BrKhalid
06/04/01 at 18:31:10
Asalaamu Alaikum [quote]I know if I continue to embrace Islam it will drive me farther from my parents, but, to be honest, to be driven from my parents to the arms of Allah is a comfort. For I know that my place in Jannah will be more comforting and loving than I could ever experience from my own family[/quote] Continue praying for your parents Br Usamah, and inshaAllah one day Allah [swt] will turn their hearts and you'll enjoy your place in Jannah *with* your family for the patience and perserverance you showed in this world. You're in our prayers Br Usamah.
Individual posts do not necessarily reflect the views of Jannah.org, Islam, or all Muslims. All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners. Comments are owned by the poster and may not be used without consent of the author. The rest © Jannah.Org