Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| my husband & non-muslim family |
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| Anonymous |
| 06/08/01 at 01:37:54 |
| salam alaikum, i have a problem. my husband constantly says bad things and insults my family. i am the only muslim in my family. some of my family members smoke and drink and some have had premarital relations. my family is not perfect, and my husband constantly reminds me of that and constantly insults them to my face. it makes me feel really bad because they are my family and i do love them and you never know, maybe someday inshallah they will all be muslims as well. when i try to tell him how it makes me feel when he says bad things about them, he gets angry at me and accuses me of being just as bad as them. i don't know what to do because he makes me feel like i should hate them and totally not care about them at all. i know that my family are not muslims, but isn't he going a little too far with this? please help me :( wassalam, Julie |
| Re: my husband & non-muslim family |
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| Saleema |
| 06/08/01 at 01:40:23 |
| [slm] Yes, he is going too far. you don't have to hate your family. hate doesn't bring people to islam. love brings people to islam. LOVE your family, and pray for them. and try to guide them in a nice way inshallah. I am praying for you. [slm] Saleema |
| Re: my husband & non-muslim family |
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| Shakira |
| 06/08/01 at 09:03:16 |
| Your husband is being mean, and not thinking about your feelings. Your family may not live their lives the way he sees fit, but they must have done something right, since he took you for his wife.:) He should try to understand that no matter what, they are your family, and even though they do things you do not approve of, still they are your family. I am sure that even within his own family not everyone is perfect. There is always a black sheep to every family.:O Plus, I don't know if you have kids, but he should not speak that way in front of the children. I am sure he would not like it if you did it. People in glass houses, should not throw stones. |
| Re: my husband & non-muslim family |
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| codliveroil |
| 06/08/01 at 13:20:34 |
| asalm walakum Don't insult your husband. If you told him how you feel and why you feel it, and he is still unhappy with them, then there is no point of telling him again, if by doing so you would only get in to a raw with him. What matters most is your relationship with your husband, do what you can to make it work. I would be more concerned if he said bad stuff about them to their faces, that would be bad for dawa. I mean if he sees them doing bad stuff, and feels he must let it out, would you prefer he talk about the way he feels to you or them? As long as he does dawa in the proper way with them I shouldn't worry. Maybe him mentioning how bad he thinks they are is a sign that he loves them and sees them as part of his family. What I mean is, I see kaffars doing bad stuff all the time, its very rare for me to feel bad about it, cause I am used to it. But if I see a family member do bad stuff, that makes me feel bad, and I might talk about it. |
| Re: my husband & non-muslim family |
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| bhaloo |
| 06/08/01 at 14:02:22 |
| slm Your husband shouldn't be insulting your family like that. He is hurting you emotionally, and that's not right. He should be sensitive to your needs. You should talk to him and let him know that yes, you want to see your family become Muslim, and that it hurts you that they aren't, but they are still your family and you love them very much. His insulting your family serves no purpose other then to hurt you. This whole situation is just adding unnecessary stress on you. |
| Re: my husband & non-muslim family |
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| chachi |
| 06/08/01 at 16:51:11 |
Salaam yes he is sister. you can either get him to talk to some islamic scholar, get him a book on adab in islam or ask him to attend a islamic lecture with you then post the question anonymously to the scholar and he'll get the answer hope that helps |
| Re: my husband & non-muslim family |
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| amal |
| 06/08/01 at 22:04:02 |
| assalmo alikum sister, I know who hard for you to deal with him but trust me if he loves you, he will try to correct him self. i don't see why he is doing that???? he shouldn't said bad things about your family no matter who they are????. everybody loves their family, next time if he says that you have to say "i love you my husband the one i want to spend my rest of my life with but please don't hurt my feelings by saying bad things about my family i love them and they're part of my life just like you and let's pray for them that allah will guide them to the right directions." mybe this might he understand what family are. i pray for you sister and allah will help you. |
| NS |
| Re: my husband & non-muslim family |
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| nehar |
| 06/08/01 at 22:04:17 |
| [slm] Our Prophet (pbuh) used to luv his uncle who helped him through out his time, yet never converted. so there is nothing wrong with loving your family as no one is perfect. as sis saleema sed, luv brings ppl 2 islam, not hate. All you can do is pray for Allah to guide ur family and take away ur husbands arrogance. [wlm] nehar |
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