Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| My $.02 |
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| Magableh |
| 06/10/01 at 22:51:39 |
| Dearest Brothers and Sisters, Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. With all of the talk recently about people leaving the fold of Islam, and the increase of criticism of my Madina Family, I wanted to add my $.02. I feel very sad for what happened to Brother Daud. I pray that Allah (swt) will guide him back to Islam. I don't know what happened for him to walk away from the truth, but I can understand him. As new Muslims, some of us still have *issues* from the past that are hard to forget about. Maybe it's our families that keep nagging at us about our choice of religion, or maybe it's our friends, even a spouse or children. Most of us don't lay our lives on the line to thousands of people who read these boards...so how would we know what is going on besides what they tell us? It could have been one word that any of us said that might have changed his mind...we might never know. :( What we do know is that anyone who comes to this board is a part of *us*. We are a family, a whole. We should embrace them with open arms and help them in any way that we can. We shouldn't criticize them or call them derogatory names. When I first came to the board it was 2 weeks before I converted and my iman was extremely weak. I used to just sit back and read the posts...but I felt like a part of each of you. I admired your adab and all of your different personalities. If I posted something that someone didn't agree with, I was politely corrected. To come to the board now and read *my* brothers and sisters being called kaffir and stupid is very disheartening. I don't know any of you personally, and probably never will, but I consider you my family. And to see this type of arguing and name calling is really frustrating. This is not a place to come to for relaxation(peace) any more. Most of the members that I have grown very fond of are now leaving the board because of the nonsensical attitude of a couple of people here. It's ridiculous. Over the past few weeks I have had many terrible things happen to me, and those I love. I have become disillusioned, and my faith has weakened tremendously. :( I have reached out to the people closest to me, especially Allah (swt) and I still feel depressed and hopeless. I try to take that first step forward and when I do I get thrown back 5 steps. So, I think *why even bother?* With a Muslim population of over a billion brothers/sisters, I still feel alone. :( Alone in the fact that I don't feel like I can open up to those around me for fear that I am going to be judged, or called an unbeliever, despite being told otherwise from a very good friend/brother of mine. That if I tell someone my faith is weak, they are not going to consider me a part of their family and leave me to fend for myself. I experienced this just last night, after I got out of the hospital and called one of my local sisters. So what do I do? I say I'm *okay*. I keep everything locked up inside of me. I close myself off from everything and everyone around me. Some people need to vent, need to have that avenue to say what's on their mind without being a victim of harsh words. When they don't find this within their Muslim community, they look for it elsewhere, and it leads up to them leaving the fold of Islam. Is this what we as Muslims have come to? Don't we care about what our brothers/sisters are feeling? There are many people who visit this board daily that we don't know about. Maybe they have something to say, maybe they need answers, but have that same fear. When they do take that first step and post, they are judged, told they are unbelievers, told that Muslims don't do those things. But Muslims don't attack their Brothers and Sisters either! If they see them doing something wrong they take them aside and correct them in the right way. We don't judge anyone. It's not our place, that is for Allah (swt) to do. Before we click that *post* button on the bottom of the screen, we should first re-read what we typed, because we *will* be asked about it when our day comes, Wallahu a'lam. May Allah (swt) have mercy on any of us who helps lead one of our brothers/sisters astray. Ameen. If someone posts something that you don't agree with, take a deep breath, count to 100, and then respond to them in instant message, because you have no idea who else is reading it, and how strong/weak their faith is. Disagree privately, or atleast have some adab. You should try to find out the who's, what's, when's and why's behind someone's message before answering. Trying to respond to a post of a few meager sentences is very hard to do, especially when *some* on this board who are weak in faith, might be looking for *you* for answers. And when we don't know the *whole* story, yet give our opinions anyway, this can carry some detrimental after affects. Those of which we will be responsible for. Think twice, that's all I'm asking. We are fragile souls. A saying attributed to Prophet Muhammad(saw) says that there are three things that never come back: The spoken word, the shot arrow, and the lost opportunity. This is a wonderful message board, let's keep it that way. Let's have the same respect, manners and consideration that we had when it first began. When we hurt one of us, we hurt all of us. We're a family, an Islamic nation, let's not forget this. Let those stronger in faith guide us, who are weaker(in faith)..for one day, we, the weaker, might be walking in your footsteps, and helping you in your time of need. Focus on what's important...we all have the same goals. Let's cut out the criticism and negativity and put that energy where it's *really* needed...in Our UMMAH! Please forgive me for any errors, and all praise is for Allah (swt). Wa'assalam, Serena Your sister in Islam :-) |
| Re: My $.02 |
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| Asim |
| 06/10/01 at 18:02:55 |
| wlm, Sr. Serena, jazakAllah khayran for the reminder. It is disheartening to see some of the choppiness on the board but inshaAllah things will get better. I remind everyone to re-read the constitution and practice self-restraint. Also, nothing can be gained by being rude whether what is being stated is correct or wrong. Please be strong and not be disillusioned. Be a part of the family and help each other to good. If strong brothers and sisters leave the board then we don't have much hope. So hang in there inshaAllah :) May Allah have mercy on all of us. Wasalaam. PS: you can message the sisters on the board if you need someone to talk to :) |
| I agree |
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| Ahlam |
| 06/10/01 at 17:36:29 |
| Assalamu Alaikum, Dear Sister I agree with everything that you have said. I am new to Islam and have no sisters or brothers around me other than the ones on this board. This board has been everything to me and my imam is much stronger because of the love an support that I have received here. I don't want what has been happening to continue.....it saddens my heart! I feel the purpose of this board is to show others how great Allah is and to help others with any questions they need answered. I have shared a very big part of my life with all of you and I trust that it is not taken for granted. I hope that everyone can follow Allah (SWT) and be respectful of other peoples feelings. May Allah bless all who have love in their hearts, Aimee |
| Re: My $.02 |
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| bhaloo |
| 06/10/01 at 19:09:20 |
| slm Jazak Allah khairen for your post. I know over the last few weeks I didn't have time to read all the posts, and I know I missed some of the discussions you are referring to but insha'Allah I will be keeping a closer eye on things. If anyone encounters a post that is inappropriate please let one of the moderators or admins know, and we will insha'Allah talk to the offending party. We have had several discussions with some of the offenders on here and insha'Allah things are now resolved. |
| NS |
| Re: My $.02 |
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| Saleema |
| 06/10/01 at 21:35:49 |
| With a Muslim population of over a billion brothers/sisters, I still feel alone. [slm] I hope you are feeling much better. :) I had decided I wasn't going to post and just read posts instead. But i wanted to reply to you, i felt bad. P:( Please don't feel that way. Though I will never meet you, know that i love you, you are my sister and are very close to my heart. If you would ever like to talk you can always write to me or instant message me. Sometimes trials make us strong and sometimes they make us weak. My faith has weakened too at times, it's something that everyone goes through at least once in life. Hang in there. You are in my duas. You know what helps me when i am feeling down? I read the Qur'an. Over and over again in the Qur'an Allah says that those who will be allowed into Heaven will be the steadfast in prayer, those who show patience in face of great trials, those who say Allah suffices us and there is no Power other than Him, those who are humble, those who give zakat and those who are forgiving. Do all these things as much as you can and inshallah Heaven is at your feet. Read surah Rehman. It's one of my favorites. Inshallah i plan on memorizing it. It's so beautiful and poetic, so powerful. It sends shivers down one's spine. Keep on holding to the rope of Allah, don't let go of it. [wlm] Saleema |
| Re: My $.02 |
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| Haniff |
| 06/11/01 at 06:44:58 |
| Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh I am a newcomer to this board, and I am not aware of the incidents that you are referring to, but I am quite certain that you are deeply hurt. I read your post with a heavy heart. Please remember that this world is not entirely devoid of good people. Insha Allah, you will meet many of them whose company you will cherish. Please do not give up hope, and [color=Red] DO NOT [/color] lose the precious gift that Allah Almighty has granted you. The faith means everything to us. We must try to take good care of it whatever difficulties we may encounter in the process. Please remember that no believer can ever hope to enter Allah Almighty's eternal paradise without tasting his/her quota of hardships in this temporary world. Please do not leave this board. Wassalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Haniff |
| No-ing Best |
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| AbuKhaled |
| 06/11/01 at 16:41:27 |
| Bismillah Al-Rahman Al-Raheem. My dear Sister Serena, Wa-alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. What might I write that could make a difference – bi’ithnillah ta’ala – I wonder? Ya’ani, dear Brothers & Sisters, some of you are taking stock, having been rocked by the news of Daud. It has indeed hit some of you hard. And so it should. These are not games we play on this board, it is life itself. And in life there is only one play. Nobody gets to rewind, no one can turn the page back. You make amends and you move on, and so it must be. I wondered something just now as I was recalling some of the more harsher posts revolving around this issue, and those that were related. What I wondered was how much remembrance of Allah ta’ala is engaged in by those who seem to be harsh with their words? The one who are always so ready to whip out the cane of halal and haram to beat others over the head with. The ones who adamantly *must* make their point, and make it *hard*. The ones who need to have the final word. Who can never relent, but insist on going that last mile in making sure the world knows that it was they who were right. Imam al-Ghazali (ra) addresses such a one in “Ayyuhal Walad” [translated as Dear Beloved Son by the english translator of the book] who always must make his every point in public, for all to see. He talks about the sincerity of such a one, asking, is it that you sincerely seek to advise, or do you want others to see your words, and be impressed by them? If it is so, and this leads to your conceitedness, then that reflects a lack of sincerity. For if the point can be made privately, yet you can’t help yourself making it publically *because* you want your words to bask in the light of glory and recognition, then know that you have a niyyah [intention] other than the niyyah for the sake of Allah ta’ala alone. Yet still, its often hard to oppose the call of the nafs, since it’s lure can be so great. Indeed a sweet honeypot. But for which creature? The bee. The one with a sting in the tail. And how often have posts been prefaced or closed with platitudes affecting warmth, and brotherly/sisterly concern, only to contain words that cut to the core of the one for whom they are intended? Laced with an air of, “Oh, I’m only saying this because I love you.” Then say it with love, not sanctimony. If someone is struggling in their Deen, then show some gratitude to Allah ta’ala for your own good fortune, and let that gratitude determine your tone. Don’t become self-righteous and condemn the one whom – maybe you’ve forgotten – Allah ta’ala is, by His (awj) test/tribulation, granting an opportunity to do the right thing, and turn to Him (awj), in faqr [neediness]. Won’t you share then in this - what is actually *good* fortune - and *help* your brother/sister gain the good pleasure of their Lord (awj)? *Aid* them (bi’ithnillah) in seeking a solution, an outlet, some reprieve. Don’t just tell them what they can’t do, tell them what they can. Mufti Taqi Usmani, addressing the Value of Knowledge, mentioned a wondrous quote: “What a beautiful statement was uttered by Sufyaan Thauri Rahmatullahi alai which is food for thought for us. He said, “A jurist is one who shows a solution to a problem, who takes people out of difficulty. As far as your statement ‘This is haram and that is haram’- this anybody can do!” That is, besides showing what is prohibited, a Faqeeh must also show what is permissible, give a substitute to the people, what is the way out of this problem, etc. If one cannot show the way out or the solution, he is not a Faqeeh.” Okay, fair enough, we are not fuqaha, but if the Ulema are the inheritors of the Prophets (aas), then should we not strive to be like them, in order that we might approach the beatific example of our Beloved Messenger (saw)? Was the statement of Sufyaan Thauri (ra) taken from other than his (saw) blessed perfected example ultimately? So, coming back to what I was wondering, about those who seem to be tainted by the aspect of harshness. How much dhikr of Allah ta’ala do you make? Because indeed it is this remembrance that softens the hearts. So, if your harshness issues forth from a hard-heart towards your fellow brethren, then, ask yourself, is my heart hard because I neglect the remembrance of the One (awj) whose remembrance brings softness to the hearts? If so, you are indeed heedless of your own condition, yet you walk all over the condition of others, n’auzibillah. So maybe, next time, instead of treading over the difficulties of others with your insensitivity, go and make some dhikr instead, perhaps that may be better for your salvation. Wallahu ta’ala a’lam. So Sister Serena, what to do? What is the key to your disillusion? I think, if I may be allowed, and so bold, to forward a thought, it could lie in suhba [accompaniment]. You yourself said about how this board is your family. And many others have stated the same. So, what is this if not a kind of cyber-suhba? Okay, so maybe the last week or so, saw the news concering the leaving of the Deen by one new Muslim, and Allah knows best if it was down to a bad example set, heedless words, and the like. But insha’Allah even if it was, then that was an exception, not the rule. As a longstanding member of this community I can vouch for many of these beautiful Brothers and Sisters, from what little I have seen of them, and their words, their graciousness, their welcoming natures, their compassion, and their largesse. I would be less were it not for them. And that is when I am not much as it is. They have overlooked my frequent transgressions, and I am still here in spite of them. So, don’t despair but for a few insensitive individuals. They are like over-zealous children, who say what comes to mind before pondering on its benefits or drawbacks. They know not the gravity of issuing fatawa, giving hukm, and couching our words in a way that is best. They don’t realise the consequences – both immediate and in the hereafter – of a carelessly typed post. How can they when those of us who’ve been doing it longer still stumble (some of us more regularly than others *ahem*)? Do you want to know how *key* suhba is? How transformative *good example* is? And maybe a lesson can be heeded by those who marginalise this aspect of themselves. I’ll share two incredible, yet simple, examples. And please, note the hikmah [wisdom], hilm [compassion], and wonderful insight into the human condition that our forebearers had: 1. Qadi Sahnun (ra). He was a famous judge in the Islamic State of a time past. By virtue of his position he had the jurisdiction to issue judgement and penalty, like most judges. So, one time he had moved, and found himself living near an active brothel. What did he do? Take advantage of his position (the way many of us take advantage of our knowledge to bear down upon others; knowledge that we only have by the Favour of Allah ta’ala upon us) to have them all arrested and punished? No. He had all the prostitutes relocated, distributed variously amongst communities of the salihin [upright/righteous], pious, God-fearing Muslims, who lived Islamic lives. Within a short time they all renounced their former lives and became reformed, walhamdulillah. Subhan’Allah. That, is the power of suhba. He gave them a chance, an opportunity. He placed them in an environment where they could grow, learn, observe, witness, experience Islam up close and personal. Isn’t that what this board can be like when we want it to be? 2. A more recent example, from a few decades ago. Sheikh Badr al-Din al-Hasani (ra), from Damascus. A famous muhaddith from a recent era. It is related about him (ra) that one Ramadhan he filled a number of small cloth bags with amounts of money. He asked his students to deliver these bags to particular addresses within the city. His students, surprised, said to him, “Sheikh, don’t you know that these are the addresses of prostitutes?” He told them that he knew that, and that he wanted them to give the prostitutes this money and say that the Sheikh sends his salams, and asks that during this holy month you don’t engage in this way of earning money. This money should be equivalent to the income you would have earned. It is said that by the end of the month, all these prostitutes had made tawba, and become righteous women. Subhan’Allah. Such is the transformative power of righteous company, good influence, the best of examples. This is the example of our Ulema. They gave people chances. They didn’t condemn them from the get go. Really, it is enough to bring tears to your eyes. What has happened to us? We were an Ummah of rahma, like our Beloved Nabi (saw). Yes, we have laws, we have punishments. But we also have mercy, compassion, softness. Where have these virtues gone? I cannot see them within me, but I know they existed in a time past, and that they *still* exist in some of us. Where is the hikmah that we see in the above two anecdotes? Should we not give hikmah a chance? Why do we rush to be so firm and reluctant to budge? Vehemently refusing to give an inch, even if it is for the sake of someone’s Deen. I have yet to see a matter arise where silence and restraint could not be justified by the shar’a more than the incumbency of saying what one feels needs to be said, when the issue was that saying something wrong could make the difference between Islam and kufr. So, my point? Keep the company of the righteous. And the righteous are not always the ones who are most learned, though definitely knowledge should bring with it righteousness if it is to be of benefit. But as Imam Ibn Ata’illah (ra) said in his marvellous Hikam: “Better to keep the company of an ignorant man who is not satisfied with himself than a man of knowledge who is satisfied with himself.” Sister Serena, amidst the many that are here, no doubt you – as I – have noted that there are some real gems. Some truly wonderful Brothers and Sisters. They manage to – through their words - *touch* you, *affect* you, and it is that poignancy that keeps us returning, because for every score of forgettable posts, there will be one that *moves* me, in some way. Something I’ll learn, something that will strike a chord, something that will make me stop and pause for a moment. And right there in that moment, in the blink of an eye, will the difference be made. So many times this has happened, walhamdulillah. We owe a debt to this excellent crew, they mean well, they do well, and they do it all unconditionally. How could you not love such a lot? Anyway, as I’ve said before, the company you keep is key. So keep good company. Don’t give you ears to everyone, nor your eyes. I think quality is rare, for we live in an age where mediocrity is in abundance. So, when you find one who is special – by virtue of their Islam - and makes you want to be more than you are right now, and inspires you to gain closeness to your Creator (awj), then take from that one that which will benefit you as an aspirant to the pleasure of Allah ta’ala. Wherever that may be. If we are not to partake in giving you the wings that will allow you to fly to your Lord (awj), then at least let us be of some use in providing directions. Ma’assalam, Abu Khaled |
| Re: My $.02 |
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| Anonymous |
| 06/11/01 at 16:55:08 |
| alaam alaykum this is something I came across today sorta relating to what sister Saleema said... What is life but merely a trial. A trial to determine how strong our faith is and where we shall spend the rest of eternity...the hereafter. For some, it is to see weather they spend their wealth in the path of Allah (subhanahuwatalla) and for others it is to be patient in the time of adversity, and to look to only Allah (subhanahuwtalla) in the time of need. Verily nothing shall happen with out the will of the Almighty. And surely we shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the steadfast. (2:155) Hazrat Abu Hurairah (RU) relates that the Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: “When Allah wants to favor somebody He t |
| Re: My $.02 |
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| humble_muslim |
| 06/11/01 at 23:36:56 |
| AA Bro AbuKhaled, for once I am in total agreement with you! I have been very upset the last couple of days because of Daud, because of what Serena has said, and been trying to think what to say. But wallahi, you've really hit it on the head! May Allah reward you and bless you for your beautiful words, and - more importantly - give ME (above all others) and everyone else on the board the taufique to follow your words. I don't want to overshadow your words, but another beautiful example of the type of things you are talking about is the hadith about the man who came to the Prophet and asked him permission to commit fornication. Since you started this topic, I'll let you complete the hadith. Sister Serena and ANYONE else on this board, if you EVER need any help , support, encouargement, etc, contact me thru Madina Messenger or thru e-mail any time, day or night, and I will try to respond to you in the best of ways bi idh nillah. Wasalam, Hamayoun Wasalam, Hamayoun |
| NS |
| Re: No-ing Best |
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| Magableh |
| 06/12/01 at 03:30:04 |
| Dear Brother Abu Khaled, Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. Such beautiful words. I pray that the members of our Madina community, myself included, take your words to heart and strive to do things differently in the future, insha'Allah. May Allah (swt) bless you and reward you. This board would be less without you! [quote]As a longstanding member of this community I can vouch for many of these beautiful Brothers and Sisters, from what little I have seen of them, and their words, their graciousness, their welcoming natures, their compassion, and their largesse.[/quote] Alhamdulillah, this is true! [quote]Sister Serena, amidst the many that are here, no doubt you – as I – have noted that there are some real gems. Some truly wonderful Brothers and Sisters. They manage to – through their words - *touch* you, *affect* you, and it is that poignancy that keeps us returning, because for every score of forgettable posts, there will be one that *moves* me, in some way. Something I’ll learn, something that will strike a chord, something that will make me stop and pause for a moment. And right there in that moment, in the blink of an eye, will the difference be made. So many times this has happened, walhamdulillah.[/quote] Exactly!! This is what keeps me coming back to the board, holding on to that last thread. If it wasn't for the wonderful brothers and sisters here, *I* would be less than I am now. They can make you smile, laugh and cry. No matter what the trials and tribulations one is going through, *many* on this board will step out of their way to help you...and you know who you are. [quote]We owe a debt to this excellent crew, they mean well, they do well, and they do it all unconditionally. How could you not love such a lot?[/quote] They're my family, I love 'em bunches! This board is excellent. And *this* is why we should strive hard to conduct ourselves in the best manner that we can. The Jannah.org crew has put a lot into this site. Their hard work and dedication has paid off by providing us Muslims, both young and old, with a *wonderful* place to come and interact and learn with our fellow brothers/sisters. Keep this in mind! Remember the rules, remember, remember, remember... [quote]So, when you find one who is special – by virtue of their Islam - and makes you want to be more than you are right now, and inspires you to gain closeness to your Creator (awj), then take from that one that which will benefit you as an aspirant to the pleasure of Allah ta’ala. Wherever that may be.[/quote] Insha'Allah ;) Jazakallah Khairan. Asim, Aimee, Saleema, Haniff and Humble_Muslim - May Allah (swt) bless all of you. You'll hear from me, insha'Allah. With that said, tomorrow will be my last day on the Madina for a while...So I'm saying good-bye :( I seek your forgiveness for *any* and everything that I have done wrong, to any of you, it was unintentional. I am at a critical stage in my life right now, with many difficult choices to make, physically, emotionally and religiously. I feel like the walls around me are crumbling down. And eventhough I will TRULY miss the support from all of you, and the encouragement to strengthen my iman...I won't be able to be on the board, but *any* of you here at the Madina feel free to email me(check profile), I'll respond. Please say a du'a for me and take care of yourselves, and insha'Allah I'll be back. I love you. Wa'assalam, Serena |
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