Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Women are from another planet [confirmed] |
|---|
| Kashif |
| 06/10/01 at 19:01:17 |
| but so are men! assalaamu alaikum I was wondering if anyone here has read the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and what their opinions on the book were? In particular, i'm interested in what married people have to say about it. I found it *really* interesting and currently would not hesitate to recommend it to brothers and sisters. I believe that the premise it works on is that husband & wife can really make their marriage work if they *both* try to understand the different natures of each other and then relate to each other based on this knew understanding. John Gray (the author) gives dynamic examples of things that i'm sure most of us already feel or know but haven't had spelt out for us, e.g. the fact that men and women speak the same language as each other, but what one says and what the other understands can be radically different; how men are like rubber-bands and women are like waves, etc. Does anyone know if there is an equivalent to it authored by a Muslim? Kashif Wa Salaam |
| NS |
| Re: Women are from another planet [confirmed] |
|---|
| The-Doctor |
| 06/11/01 at 03:16:23 |
| [slm] well thank you John Gray for making men come from the planet with all those green alien martians :( hehehe :) no i have never read the book but i am familiar with the concept, which isn't to say that i like it. i think this guy is just trying to capitalise on something that is difficult to explain/understand. I'm sure it was very easy for him to accept that $1 million check ... |
| Re: Women are from another planet [confirmed] |
|---|
| eleanor |
| 06/11/01 at 16:34:35 |
| slm [quote] men and women speak the same language as each other, but what one says and what the other understands can be radically different[/quote] Tell me about it...<sigh> I've never read the book but I've heard of it. I think it's a good concept. It actually endorses the Islamic concept of "equal but not the same". Once people can get their heads around this, then life can be so much more harmonious! (except when you and your husband communicate in a language which is neither your mother language nor his...<sigh>...then all the patience in the world will not help and you might as well go and bang your head off the wall...) wasalaam eleanor |
| Re: Women are from another planet [confirmed] |
|---|
| Zahra |
| 06/12/01 at 15:38:44 |
| slm I read the book and I think it's great. It's *definitely* helped me in my marriage. More than anything, it's given me patience. Now, when I expect something of my husband or really, really want something from him and he doesn't follow through, I don't get as upset/disappointed, as I used to because the book gave me this understanding that men think differently than women. It seems like such a simple concept but in reality, it's very hard to grasp and accept. I heard this quote once that's something like, "Women need to be loved a lot and understood a little. Men need to be understood a lot and loved a little." Of course, men need love but I think (and the book gives you this message) that men need appreciation and respect more than anything. I see it in my marriage. The book's principles are so consistent with Islamic teachings, especially since as was mentioned, it's based on the notion that men and women are *different*. The book also talks about patterns in men and women's behavior. When I was reading it, I was like, "Did they peek into my life or something before they wrote this???" It's interesting how in tune the book is with people and the natural reasons for their behavior. It's relieving to read, I think. Of course, the book can not *always* apply to Muslim lifestyles but overall, I think it's very useful in understanding problems that so many of us face in our marriages. These problems often seem so tragic when in reality, they are normal and just a result of a lack of understanding of our spouses. |
| women are from safa, men are from marwa... |
|---|
| Anonymous |
| 06/13/01 at 12:55:17 |
| Assalamu alaikum I think there's a book with that title, or with marwa and then safa...it's written by the same Muslim woman who wrote 'The Muslim Marriage Guide,' which is available from AstroLabe...hope that helps even though i'm missing details... |
| Re: Women are from another planet [confirmed] |
|---|
| Arsalan |
| 06/14/01 at 00:44:34 |
| [slm] [quote]I was wondering if anyone here has read the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and what their opinions on the book were?[/quote] Yes. EXCELLENT book! I'd recommend it to everyone who is married or is about to get married. This, along with the white book on marriage by Zarabozo (Fiqh of Marriage) and the 3 part series of Jibaaly on Marriage. Wassalamu alaikum. |
| Re: Women are from another planet [confirmed] |
|---|
| Ayla_A |
| 06/14/01 at 13:03:25 |
| Asalaamu alaikum Though I agree that John Gray has some good points in his books. The funniest thing about him is that he has been married 5 times. So how good could his advice be:) There is another woman....can't remember her name.... sorry but she made millions on books on relationships....even more funnier is that she is one of John Gray's Ex wives...she has had more than 2 marriages herself. I feel that if a couple wants their marriage to work, they will both do what it takes to make it work. If one partner doesn't try the marriage will fail Ha my 2 cents Ayla |
| Re: Women are from another planet [confirmed] |
|---|
| Zahra |
| 06/14/01 at 22:05:13 |
[quote] Though I agree that John Gray has some good points in his books. The funniest thing about him is that he has been married 5 times. So how good could his advice be:)[/quote] In the introduction to the book, he says that he never understood women or relationships between men and women. Now that he has a more developed understanding(which came after his present marriage), he says he has a very successful and happy relationship with his wife. |
| Re: Women are from another planet [confirmed] |
|---|
| amal |
| 06/14/01 at 23:59:35 |
| [quote]I feel that if a couple wants their marriage to work, they will both do what it takes to make it work. If one partner doesn't try the marriage will fail[/quote] Agree a 100%...We all know what our rights and duties are and we have the example of the prophet (saws) as our guidance.All we would ever need to know about marriage or any other relationship for that matter is summarized in the following hadith of the prophet: "None of you will believe untill he loves for his brother what he loves for himself" And btw "brother" is meant to be any muslim (male or female)...In the Qur'an, Allah (swt) repeatedly addresses those who BELIEVE. If we can't live up to that hadith then we're not of those that Allah (swt) calls believers.If that's the case then we're in SERIOUS trouble!!! Wa Allahu A'lam. May Allah forgive me if i said anything wrong. salaam amal |
| Re: Women are from another planet [confirmed] |
|---|
| Spring |
| 06/15/01 at 09:12:46 |
| [slm] I think that in marriage both partners do want to make it work out. In a successful marriage there needs to be some recogntion that the nature of men and women is different. I think that is what this book and others similar to it point out. Both men and women want and need similar things from marriage but perhaps not in the same order of preference. I once heard it said that a man's basic emotional requirement is Respect and a woman's is Love and affection. Alla hu 'Alam |
Individual posts do not necessarily reflect the views of Jannah.org, Islam, or all Muslims. All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners. Comments are owned by the poster and may not be used without consent of the author.The rest © Jannah.Org |