Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Spinoff From Father of mIne |
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| Anonymous |
| 06/12/01 at 01:46:44 |
| Asalaamu Alakium, Well since the "father of mine" was such a big hit i was wondering how are your guys relationships with your Mother? And how do you improve that realtionship with your mom, if its not all that great. Also how does your realtionship with your mother compare to your realtionship with your father? is it better or worse or the same? I know especially with girls your supposed to have some "bond" with your mother since your both women and have "supposedly" gone through the same thing but with my mother its totally not like that when i ask her about those "womenly" things that has happend to her she refuses to tell me and saying that ill find out on my own.. i swear its my worst fear to turn out like my mom.... |
| Re: Spinoff From Father of mIne |
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| Mahmoodah |
| 06/12/01 at 02:51:28 |
| salam, that'd be REALLY scarry to turn out like my mom!!! aaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! neways, i am very close to both my parents, wen my mom is understandin, then my dad isnt, n vise versa!!! My mom also nevaer says storys, n wen she does they put me to sleep, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!! But my dadz really good with storys fr his childhood life, wat a shame- i cant ask him abt womenly experiances!!! wa-salam |
| Re: Spinoff From Father of mIne |
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| Marcie |
| 06/12/01 at 17:50:07 |
| As salamu alaykum I would definitely say that since becoming a Muslim I have more respect for both of my parents. I have also learned to understand my mother and father better the older that I get al hamdu lillah. No matter what my parents have always been there for me and I've gone through some pretty tough times. I would definitely say that my relationship with my mother is stronger, although I do spend quality time with my dad as well. Maybe you could try doing some girl things with your mum. Try to focus on the positive things that she does for you and appreciate her while you have her. My husband's mother passed away about five years ago and I know that he still misses her. No one is perfect. As salamu alaykum Marcie |
| Re: Spinoff From Father of mIne |
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| Lisha |
| 06/15/01 at 15:51:36 |
| slm, My parents r both understandin n flexible sooo i dont usually hav a prob explainin things 2 them, but sumthimes we dont understand 1 another(v. rearly), but i think this isn't much of a prob, we all get over it;) take care, w'salaam:) |
| Re: Spinoff From Father of mIne |
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| se7en |
| 06/24/01 at 21:01:13 |
wa alaykum as salaam wa rahmatAllah, Man, I never realized how hard these kinda questions are.. ok family... hmm... there's one lesson that has taken me so long to learn, but that has made my relationship with my family so much easier on me. It's that you can't change people. You can't change what people like and dislike, their temper, you can't change the way people are. Only when they take it upon themselves can people change. When you start to realize this, and you come to accept it, you no longer place these expectations in people that they will never be able to fulfill. And that just saves you from so much hurt and depression. It totally makes me understand and appreciate the concept of tawakkul, relying on Allah, because relying on anyone but Him, azzawajal, can leave you susceptible to harm or hurt. Something else that I've learned is that when you disagree with someone, you have to understand where that person is coming from and learn to appeal to them and what they're looking for. it's kinda like daawa.. you speak to ppl in different ways depending on their personalities, but in the end you get the same message across. that's what it's like with my folks, because we're all *really* stubborn. I just have to speak in a way that I know appeals to them personally. I guess it's the same for marriage, you need to learn how to kinda talk your spouse *into* understanding things the way you do. inshaAllah one of the (many) things I need to learn to do is seriously honor my family... this past week I've heard a lot of comments about the goodness of my family and that's definitely something I need to be more grateful for. aiite enough.. I didn't even answer any of the questions :) wasalaamu alaykum.. |
| Re: Spinoff From Father of mIne |
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| Ayla_A |
| 06/29/01 at 17:37:55 |
| [slm] For me I have found that my relationship with my mom and dad were very similar when growing up, Of course my mom did the everday discipline, but my dad did the serious disciplining. Through my teen years my dad and I were very close. I felt I could talk to him much easier than I could my mom. When I was pregnant with my son (single parent before reverting to islam) my dad was the one that I told. Now though, since I have become a parent, my mom and I are much closer:) though she struggles with the fact that I have reverted, she is dealing with it much better than my father. I have found also that I am much more like my dad in personality than I am my mother :o Overall I feel that I had a great relationship in my family. I only have 1 brother/no sisters and I am very close to him, since it was just the two of us, we are each other's confidants and protectors:) [wlm] Ayla |
| Re: Spinoff From Father of mIne |
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| Mehak |
| 07/13/01 at 23:37:01 |
| Assalam u Alikum, As sis Se7en said,u cannot change people. I agree with her. When I was growing up,I was more close to my dad than my mom. ANd I guess thats not her fault for not being able to talk about "girlish stuff" cause thats the way she was brought up. But I have promised myself that I am not going to repeat this with my own kids( that is,WHEN i get married and have kids,InshaAllah ;)).NOw,when I am kinda grown up, my mom is still the same and seems like my dad isnt too comfortable to talk to either. BUt Alhamdulillah both my parents took care of us( me, sis and bro!) in the best way they could and I owe them a lot. But since u cannot change people,its the best not to expect a lot from other people,WHOEVER it is. Thats all I have learnt(the hard way!!;)) but I think its all true. See ya all later. Wa'asalam. |
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