Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| How Widespread Is Lying in America? |
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| meraj |
| 07/02/01 at 23:20:44 |
| slm, this is just sad... what are your thoughts on this? ----------- [color=blue]The Bitter Truth From Politicians to History Professors, Lies Are All Around By Oliver Libaw http://www.abcnews.go.com/sections/us/DailyNews/lying010702.html July 2 — Used car salesmen and politicians may get a bad rap, but the rest of us may be just as bad when it comes to lying. In recent weeks several people in the public eye have been forced to admit making up facts about their past. The Boston Globe reported last month that Pulitzer Prize-winning Mount Holyoke College professor Joseph Ellis had lied to his students about being a Vietnam combat veteran. Days later, the Globe also found that the city's transit authority chief, Robert Prince Jr., had fabricated a story about witnessing a lynching in Alabama three decades ago. Prince, the first black head of the transit organization, made the statements three years ago, when the MBTA faced hundreds of discrimination and retaliation claims filed by employees. Reactions Range From Outrage to Pity Some see such deceptive behaviors more to be pitied than condemned. "In general people who make those types of statements are probably more to be the object of pity than the object of scorn or anger," says Charles Ford, a psychology professor at the University of Alabama, Birmingham, who has written about lying. Generally, people who exaggerate their accomplishments or experiences are really trying to bolster their own self-esteem, more than take advantage of others, he suggests. "They aren't doing it for some specific gain," Ford says. He notes that in many cases where people in the public eye have been caught lying about their past, there was little real reason to do so. "The obvious contradiction is that these people are already impressive," he says. Creating ‘Personal Myths’ In any case, few of us should rush to condemn such people, many experts say, because most of us engage in similar behavior at times. "Each of us creates our own personal myth — our own story about ourselves," Ford says. That story often involves exaggerating or omitting certain details. Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist who studies deception at the University of Virginia, says some lying is necessary in everyday life. "It would be a disaster if everybody were totally honest," she says, describing a college student who tried to avoid any lies for several weeks. The student, DePaulo said, was unable to complete his experiment, and was forced to apologize to scores of people afterward. Others caution against excusing deceptive behavior, however. "It's certainly true that everybody has told a lie in their lives," says Paul Hurley, an ethicist and philosopher at Pomona College in Claremont, Calif. But, he says, that doesn't mean some lies aren't "particularly heinous." Hurley includes lies about past achievements told by professors or other authority figures in that category. "With scholarship and teaching, there is such an overwhelmingly important implication of honesty," he says. "There's just no room for this." Lies Can Be Hard to Spot If people do often lie about elements of their past, there may be little risk involved. "People are very poor at spotting liars," says Stan Walters, a deception expert who teaches law enforcement officers to better detect lies. "We ignore the symptoms of deceitfulness," he said. The only difference between public figures and the general public may be the extra scrutiny of what they say. The temptation to invent facts about ourselves may say more about human nature than about the particular characters of people in the media spotlight. "Lies are like wishes," says DePaulo. "Behind almost every lie there is a wish that the lie was true."[/color] ----------- |
| Re: How Widespread Is Lying in America? |
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| Saleema |
| 07/03/01 at 01:50:41 |
| [slm] Wow akbal Kaan. (is that supposed to be khan?) You are so smart. Really, you sound very intelligent and sophisticated. So are you hispanic? [wlm] Saleema |
| Re: How Widespread Is Lying in America? |
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| jannah |
| 07/03/01 at 09:52:21 |
| Question.. you pay taxes but you refuse to cash the return? how does that work? i can understand if someone had the principle of not engaging in the least bit of riba and refused to pay their taxes, but just by paying your taxes like you said ..Allahu alam where that money is going...so if u pay taxes ur already in there, muslims are not allowed to destroy money so if u don't cash ur return they just keep it and use it for something else. if we live in this country we HAVE to pay taxes by law and unfortunately we have no say whether or not they go to social services or supporting israel. but as for your return that's YOUR money that is being returned b/c u paid too much. i don't understand how that principle is being applied to just one's return money? it's really scary but if u really thought about it every single dollar and transaction we make in this country has some kind of link to interest. that's something unavoidable, everything has traces of pollution, but that's why we give zakat to purify our wealth in case there is some traces of haram in it. |
| Re: How Widespread Is Lying in America? |
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| meraj |
| 07/03/01 at 13:15:38 |
| slm, speakin of lies and conspiracies, check this out: http://www.dubaibuzz.com/shadow1.ram its about the freemasons and their influence in emarica.. i dunno how true it is, but its fascinating to listen to :) |
| Re: How Widespread Is Lying in America? |
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| jannah |
| 07/03/01 at 14:17:35 |
| salam akbalkhan, that's my question how exactly is that money haram? if you go to the grocery store and your bill is $18 and you pay with a twenty would you refuse to take back the $2 change? and u can't tell me that grocery stores aren't involved with interest because they are all investing their money somewhere and many are jewish owned and send profits back to israel as well. btw as a separate issue destroying money is a real fiqh deliberation. no matter where the money came from seriously look into the rulings on destroying money. |
| Re: How Widespread Is Lying in America? |
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| Saleema |
| 07/04/01 at 00:36:25 |
| [slm] Whoa, i don't know what you guys are talking about. I am lost. but since it has to do with math and taxes, i don't want to know. those things give me a headache. but anyway, brother akbal kaan, then why is your last name Roderigues? sorry, if i spelled it wrong. I thought that was hispanic? But anyway, from your posts i get the feeling that you have studied either psychology or philosophy. i don't know... i just get that feeling? so am i right? [wlm] Saleema |
| Re: How Widespread Is Lying in America? |
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| se7en |
| 07/04/01 at 22:23:40 |
as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatAllah, I'm confused.. [quote]Assuming that your job is not haram, and then the money you make is not haram, it goes into the tax fund pure. However, how are you sure that the very money bills that go in are the ones that come out? You are not sure, in fact, it could be change from a military sale to Israel for Apache planes, or Columbia for that matter. Which goes to my point about it being haram to take back money from the govenment that has a haram source. [/quote] What? Say you own a store, and someone comes to the counter to purchase something from you. He hands you $20. You do not know where this money is coming from - if it came from a drug deal, a robbery, or income from an honest job. Is it then haram to accept this money? Because it's source is questionable? Or if the issue is the bills themselves.. say you buy something halal from a store that sells haram. How do you know the change you receive back is not a combination of bills and coins that someone used to purchase something haram? Is it then haram to accept this change back? [quote]Ma Sha allah I am not going to starve my family or myself for denying the haram money's that the government tries to fill our pockets with, after taking it away forcefully. [/quote] Again, I'm not really understanding this. Say a criminal forces you to give them $20.. and then offers to give you back $5. Why would you not accept the $5 back? If for no other reason then to take the money *away* from the criminal who will do injustice with it and to do something good with it? [quote] I will continue in my niyyah to not participate in tax returns and if quoting fiqh makes it easier for you to accept moneys from a haram source then that is your perogative, I cannot tell you you're wrong, but only that my heart feels lighter for not participating in the tit for tat with the government when it wants to take more or less from my pocket. As far as guarding my wealth, I wish only to follow the Sunnah in that the Nabi, SAW, only looked to Allah T'allah for subsistance, and tried his best to rid himself of any wealth no matter how much within 3 days of receiving the gifts, or sending it into the the bayt mal? in regards to the rightly guided Khulifah RA. [/quote] I remember the topic of taxes in the US being discussed with a scholar.. and he very seriously suggested that, if you are truly uncomfortable with paying taxes, that you stay below the poverty line. The more I think about it, the less ludicrous the idea seems :) |
| Re: How Widespread Is Lying in America? |
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| kareema |
| 07/10/01 at 14:52:51 |
| Would giving a lot to tax-deductible charities do the trick? I don't want to fund state murder overseas(how many bullets and mortars have American Muslims already funded) but I may well someday want to make above the poverty line(I don't have to pay taxes under the work study program I'm in now). Retail taxes usually go to local and state governments who don't generally fund that sort of thing. |
| NS |
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