Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Re: Man and Wife Holding Hands |
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| Mahmoodah |
| 07/03/01 at 02:21:51 |
| salam i thought it was ok to hold hands with ur married partner!!! wats wrog in holding hands with ur wife bro??? i don't get it, shez ur wife, shez allowed!!!!isnt she??? wa-salam |
| Re: Man and Wife Holding Hands |
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| Barr |
| 07/03/01 at 06:43:47 |
| Assalamu'alaikum :-) [quote]To say the least she was very upset about this change. While I heard Sheikh Hamza Yusuf on IIS a couple of weeks ago mention that marriage in Islam is about Love and Mercy, I feel I have to stick to what I believe to be right conduct in this situation.[/quote] Hmmm, what would be right conduct? The Prophet never disallowed us to show affection to our spouses as well as holding our spouses hands publicly... In today's modern society, holding hands are not seen as something pornographic or distasteful... It is a sweet way of showing our affection and yes, love and mercy... Touch enhances bonding and security between people. But then again, showing affection in public, I feel, also depends on the society that one comes from... Hugging one's spouse at the airport before he leaves for hajj or to another country may be OK, for one culture, and may be seen as inappropriate to another... I mean... in Malay weddings, it's even part of our culture for the husband to kiss his wife's forehead and for her to kiss her husband's hand, in fact... it's in our culture that the wife kisses her husband's hands before they leave or meet each other daily (eg. before going to work)... hence, holding hands, is no big deal to us... it's just sweet :). But maybe, those things are a big no-no to others from a different culture ??? I guess it really depends on the couple and how comfortable they are displaying the degree of affection in public. And the Prophet did say, that the best amongst you are those who are best to their families (spouses). Just my thoughts Wallahua'lam :-) |
| Re: Man and Wife Holding Hands |
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| Shakira |
| 07/03/01 at 08:12:15 |
| I personally don't see anything wrong with a married couple holding hands. In fact, I like to see it, I think it is a nice compliment on a marriage to see a couple holding hands. I mean before you get married, it is a real no-no. So finally when you are married, and happy in you marriage, I think its very appropriate to hold hands. I can understand when people don't agree with those who kiss or hug each other in public. But holding hands, is just a way to keep close, and yet not offending anyone. Why should a Islamic couple not be able to display their love and respect for each other in such a non-insulting, and appropriate fashion. There is nothing wrong with that sort of affection in public. |
| Re: Man and Wife Holding Hands |
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| amatullah |
| 07/03/01 at 12:54:15 |
| Bismillah and salam, Jazaka Allahu khayran brother for always posting back with positive feedback. It is so encouraging masha'Allah. I don't know if there is hadeeth but you know there is situations from the prophets life. Like I remember readen about the beloved always kissing the wives before leaving the house. One time he was kissing one of his wives on the way out like outside the door step (I believe it was safia or hafsa) and the two sahaba see that and walk real fast. So he says saws please don't get sins by thinking something bad this is my wife. Similarly he was walking with one of ummahat ilmumineen once really late at night and she was covered up so he said to the passer by the same thing. Alot of times scholar will say if it wasn't said it to be haram or unliked or something bad then its safe to assume it is all good. Me and my husband hold hands and sometimes quick hugs depending where and what is going on even a quick cheek kiss (especially if he just baught me something hahhaa) If your wife start wondering why so many wives of the prophet, as mentioned, there are social reasons to strengthens bonds between muslimeen to inter marry of abu bakir etc . And legislative show people that it is ok in islam to marry divorced, older, or widowd women. Or Allah chose two for him. And or political reasons to get the protection of the tribes. There is good articles if you search it ok. |
| Re: Man and Wife Holding Hands |
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| momineqbal |
| 07/03/01 at 13:09:31 |
| [slm], Regarding the last post by sr. amatullah, sister can you give the exact reference of where it is reported that Prophet (saw) kissed his wife? Cuz I was listening to a khatirah by our Imam and he was reading from a book this exact same report. He initially translated the arabic word as "kissed", but one brother from the audience corrected him saying it meant Prophet (saw) was "walking" with his wife and the two sahabis passed by. But as they saw our prophet (saw) with a woman they tried to hurry past him. But the prophet (saw) stopped them and informed them that she was his wife and if they had gone past him without he informing them, shaitan could have whispered into their ears. Our Imam accepted this meaning and accepted that he was wrong. Anyway the lesson to me from this is that publicly holding hands or kissing your wife may lead to shaitan whispering in the ears of people who do not know that the couple are husband and wife. There is nothing stopping a muslim youth who witnesses this from thinking that the couple might be a boyfriend and girlfriend. But thats just my opinion and you are entitled to your own, since this isnt explicitly mentioned as haram anywhere :) Wassalam |
| Re: Man and Wife Holding Hands |
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| Kashif |
| 07/03/01 at 13:31:45 |
| assalaamu alaikum I've only heard the narration about the two sahaba walking past when the Prophet was talking to one of his wives in darklight, and i'd be interested in finding the reference to the Prophet kissing such that the two sahaba saw that. Part of this religion is to be modest, and kissing in public i think doesn't preserve modesty - especially when 'public' here could mean on the streets where you will have kids walking by, etc. so that could possibly have a double harmful effect. But holding hands being wrong? I don't consider that to be immodest, Wallahu a'lam Kashif Wa Salaam |
| NS |
| Re: Man and Wife Holding Hands |
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| amatullah |
| 07/04/01 at 15:45:45 |
| Bismillah and salam, It is nice to see masha'Allah that we trace the things we are questioning. Here is my source and I think I did read it another place maybe in seera encylpedias like Ibn Hisham's if you would like to check them. This book is in Arabic (Perhaps there are translations) called Alsam6 ilthameen (precious/valuable silence) fi manaqib umahat ilmo'mineen. It is by imam Mu7ib ideen a66abari. and Ahamd bin abudallah al6abari. then it is cared for and comment and produced by abdulmajeed 7alabi. it is from dar ilma3rifa publishers in lebanon. 1997. p.143 Here it is: Safeya bint 7oy ra said: kana rasool Allah saws mu3takifan fa ataytu azoorahu laylan, fa 7adathtuhu, thumma qumtu li anqalib, fa qam li yuqabilni (wa kan maskanha bi dar usama bin zaid) fa marra rajulan min al ansar, fa lamma ra'aya annaby saws asra3a, fa qal annabi saws " 3ala raslikuma, innaha safeya bintu 7uy". fa qalaa sub7ana Allah ya rasoola Allah. fa qal rasool Allah saws:"inna alshaytan yajri min inbi adam majra ildam, wa in khashaytu an yaqthif fi qulubikuma sharran" The translation roughly means the prophet saws was doing i3tikaf, this chapter was called thikr khuroojih saws min mu3takifih takrimatan li safeya ra. which means narration about him leaving even his i3tikaf area in honor of safeya. She came at night to where he was doing i3tikaf to talk to him, then she prayed and when she went to leave, he got up to go kiss her goodbye (as i mentioned earlier it is well known, that the beloved always kissed the wife goodbye) and so two ansari men saw it and start to walk fast and he said slow down it is safeya. they said sub7an Allah. he said yes the shaytan runs through humans like blood, and i was worried he would plant evil in your hearts (about what they saw) What I understand is to use your judement. If it is dark or even if it is light but not many around especially teens and unmarried men, then you can show affection in a non-sexual manner. I think there is another incident walking together really late (maybe it was with 7afsa?)But I can't find it right now. If anyone can re-word to explain it better, please feel free. Hope this helped. |
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