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Windows 98 Different editions - some humor
jannah
07/20/01 at 16:09:37
Brooklyn Edition WINDOWS-98 B/E Dear  Consumas: It has come ta ouar attention dat a coupola copies of the WINDOWS 98/BROOKLYN EDITION may have accidentally bin shipped outsida Brooklyn. If ya got one a dese, you may need some help understandin' da commands. Da Brooklyn edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen. It reads:  "WINDAS 98," wit a background picture of Grand Army Plaza. When you start da program, instead of da usual "harpy, stringy" music, you hear da teme from da Godfadda.  It is also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava. Please also  note: - Recycle Bin is labeled "Staten Island." - My Computer  is called "My Friggin' Computa." - The Inbox is referred to as "Da  Trunk." - Deleted Items are referred to as "Wacked," "Erased," or  "Rubbed Out." - Dial up Networking is called "Da Bar." - Control Panel is known as the "Da Bosses." - Performin' an "illegal  operation" is known as "enhancin' the   family business"  and will  actually maximize da program instead of   shuttin' it down. - Hard Drive is referred to as "Da BQE Rush Hour." - Instead of an error message, a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe dis!" pops up. CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN DA BROOKLYN  EDITION: OK..............Sure  ting Cancel.........Fugetaboutit Reset..........Start Ova Yes.............Yeah No...............Nah Find.............Put a contract out on Browse........Get a looksee Back............Ur toin Help............(Help ain't available - yous don't need no stinkin' help) Stop.............Knock it off Start.............Move it! Settings.......Here's d' Rules Also note dat any voice  recognition software run on da BROOKLYN EDITION platform don't  recognize da letter "R." Some programs and udder accessories dat are exclusive to WINDAS 98: Typa.................A word processin' program Printa................Printer Calculata..........Calculator Solitare.............Seven  Card Stud We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of da BROOKLYN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement veirsion. You's got a problem wit dat? BILLY GATES

Re: Windows 98 Different editions - some humor
jannah
07/20/01 at 16:10:00
Redneck Version of Windows 98 Dear Consumers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 98, with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver. Please also note: The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse" My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption" Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys" Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard" Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive" Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs" Instead of an error message a "roll of duct tape" pops up CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION: OK . . . . . . . . . . ats aw-right Cancel . . . . . . . stopdat Reset . . . . . . . . try er agin Yes . . . . .. . . . . yep No . . . . . . . . . . noop Find . . . . . . . . . hunt fer it Go to. . . . . . . . . over yonder Back . . . . . . . . . back yonder Help . . . . . . . . . hep me out here Stop . . . . . . . . . kwitit Start . . . . . . . . crank er up Settings . . . . . . . settins Programs . . . . . . . stuff dat duz stuff Documents . . . . . . stuff ah done did Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98: Tiperiter . . . . . . . . A word processing program Colerin book . . . . . . a graphics program Cyferin mersheen . . . . calculator Outhouse paper . . . . . notepad Iner-net . . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer 4.0 Pichers . . . . . . . . . A graphics viewer Dern lit varmit . . . . . A mouse We regret any inconvenience it may have caused ifin you received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. I hope this heps all y'all! Billy Bob Gates Head Honcho

Re: Windows 98 Different editions - some humor
meraj
07/23/01 at 14:35:47
slm, [quote] It reads: WINDERS 98, with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver. ... Instead of an error message a "roll of duct tape" pops up [/quote] hahahahaha.. that was a good one.. the scary thing is i know people who speak liek this, and who are straight up self-proclaimed rednecks ;-D duct tape.. heh.. thats a good one ;-D
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