Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| Anonymous |
| 07/22/01 at 04:43:03 |
| Assalamu Alikum sisters I am currently looking for a husband but I want to know where the best place to go to find one is!! Why can't they have supermarkets that sell them??? :) As a muslim girl you have to lower your gaze so going to the nearest disco in hijab to find a hubby is out of the question. I've heard girls find their future husbands at universities, through arranged marriages, through irc even! I am thinking finding a muslim husband of a different culture would be really nice but where to find him and would I suffer from any cultural problems? How did you other sisters meet your husbands and are you still deleriously happy after 2 screaming kids, lots of cooking and heaps of washing later? Leyla. |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| amatullah |
| 07/22/01 at 05:23:25 |
| Bismillah and salam, check out your local mosque! I found a good one at mine al7emdulilah! |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| Mahmoodah |
| 07/22/01 at 09:34:40 |
| it sound as if ur talkin abt a item, not hubby!!! there r plenty of places 2 look!!! but i think a mosque is the best place!!1 wa-salam |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| Lisha |
| 07/22/01 at 16:46:02 |
| slm, Sis i aint married or anything, but if u want sum1 with deen, i also suggest the mosque:) Theirs plenty of men out there sum where;) But remember to do istakhara!!! not every 1 at the mosque will b islamic:) Good luck, take care, w'salaam |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| Nazia |
| 07/23/01 at 12:13:54 |
| slm, [url=http://www.isna.net]ISNA[/url]. Be there..or be single. ;) In a meeting of about 30,000 Muslims, Insha'Allah there has to be atleast ONE for you! :) Take Care, Wassalam, Nazia ps-[i]No claim has been made that the services of this organization are better than the services of other organizations and/or other marital institutions.[/i] |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| Barr |
| 07/23/01 at 08:07:22 |
| Assalamu'alaikum :) University, university, university... oh.. did I mention university? ;) Well, nearly all of my friends met their other halves while they're there... or while they're studying at one. And in Muslim organisations... usually, like minded people flock at the same places. Sometimes, these organisations have their own Baitul Muslim (like a matchmaking thing).... hmmmm... Have I mentioned universities? :-) take care.. and all the best for your search, ukhti... But U know what? sometimes, he is just right under your nose! *yes, I still shudder at that thought!* And maybe, he's already on his way to Jannah waiting for you :) But make lots of du'a and pray lots of solatul Hajah, and do lots of Qiyamu lail. Not only do U draw closer to the Creator... but it brings peace amidst the turmoil, mashaAllah :) And inshaALlah, an answered du'a :-) wallahua'lam :) |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| Kathy |
| 07/23/01 at 08:59:43 |
| slm I met my husband in - where else- The Meat Market! Where else would you find fresh meat...... |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| mango |
| 07/23/01 at 17:23:00 |
| salam girls, well, well, well. just be careful. try to hook up with someone that you know or someone you know knows. There are a quite a number of shady people in disguise. As for me, i met my husband at my house, but that wont help. Call me old-fashoined, but im really skeptical about online hook ups..i dont know. wasalam |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| imamaslam |
| 07/23/01 at 21:27:06 |
| Assalamu-Alaiykum I did'nt meet my husband his mother and father came to my house with a couple that knew my parents. His mother liked me we made another arrangement to meet with my husband at my house and my parents liked him and his parents liked me and we saw one another and liked each other and in a months time we were married. Thats the usual way in gujrati marriages there is always an old aunty that loves to matchmake and voila if its written in your taqdeer you're on your way to a blissful married life Insha-Allah. wasalaam |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| se7en |
| 07/24/01 at 02:17:16 |
| wa alaykum as salaam wa rahmatAllah, [quote]check out your local mosque! [/quote] Hahaha, is there a line by the shoe racks or something? :) I must have missed that last time I was there :P I think one of the biggest problems our generation faces is finding good, halal methods of finding a spouse. Considering our rates of divorce, and the difficulty a lot of good brothers and sisters go through just to find a decent spouse, we seriously need to think about ways we can get Muslims married to Muslims in the 'west'. I really think that if something isn't done about this, our generation and those after us will start to move away from looking to get married to Muslims and start to fall into haram. Think about the ways people get married now. Parental hookup, which works in some cases but is limited to the contacts the parents have, and their requirements when it comes to profession/ethnicity. I think a lot of times what a parents wants for their kid is not what the kid wants for him/herself. I know so many stories of sisters who are interested in *good* brothers, but are unable to pursue anything because of these limitations their parents have. Also for converts whose parents are not Muslim this is problematic. what else.. matrimonials. Ok, yes, you're a 27 year old MBA from a respectable hyderabadi family looking for a fair slim girl with east-west values... but do you pray fajr? Are you active in your community? How is your Islam? Do you *really* have a sense of humor? Matrimonials only tell you so much about a person.. and only what that person wants you to know. Conferences? Man, you see a sister walk into a session and know you want to marry her? You like the way that brother is rockin that MSA shirt so you're going to approach him? Does that not sound messed up to you? Hmm.. I guess me personally, I think that the only 'good' way to find someone is through being active in your community and in islamic org's. In doing that you meet a lot of ppl who not only have the same priorities you do, but have like barr said the same kind of vision or understanding of Islam.. I don't know man.. |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| amal |
| 07/24/01 at 15:17:47 |
| Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatollahi wa baraktoh, [quote]I think that the only 'good' way to find someone is through being active in your community and in islamic org's[/quote] SubhanaAllah Sr. Se7en...you took that right out of my mouth. There's a saying in arabic that goes like "al tuyuur 3alaa ashkaaliha taqa3". In english i believe it's "bird of like feathers flock together". If you're looking for someone with similar goals and perspective in life, then you have to start with yourself and work towards your goals and trust in Allah to provide for you. I'm sure that He will make your path cross with that of your soul mate for He is Al-Razaaq(The Giver). Marriage is rizq just like health,wealth,knowledge,offsprings,etc...We must have patience sisters (as much as we can) for Allah loves the patient and provides for him/her without hisaab.And as Sr. Barr said make lots and lots and lots and lots of du'aa. |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| Asim |
| 07/24/01 at 11:35:26 |
| Assalaamu alaikum, [quote]matrimonials. Ok, yes, you're a 27 year old MBA from a respectable hyderabadi family looking for a fair slim girl with east-west values... [/quote] Hahaha, oh maan, matrimonial ads crack me up. If you are feeling down and need a good laugh go read some ads! Yeah, 99% of the ads don't even mention religion. The most some ads proffer is 'moderately religious.' What does that mean?? Does it mean that the person's religiousity is limited to belief in God, or maybe it includes prayers once a day, or maybe covering the head/becoming silent when the adhaan is heard! :D And the east-west thing is sooo popular. What does this mean?? Does it that the person likes both bhangra and western dances?! I have seen so many hilarious ads. Here are a few real examples that I can remember... [quote]i'm looking for good Muslimah, good-looking (bright white)… I have my bachelors in fiance and am considering pursuing my masters. She is fair, slim, tall, extremely beautiful (see it to believe it!), fun loving, honest, modest, caring, down to earth, shareef, with a sense of humor and a perfect/ideal/optimum blend of east and west,..[/quote] :) The *only* way to work the ads is to put one up yourself and mention *clearly* your preference on piety, religion, etc. Even then you will get tons of irrevelant responses but from their responses you will know the ones that share your point of view. Even this approach doesn't work that well! Wasalaam. |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| amal |
| 07/24/01 at 15:20:12 |
| Assalamu alaykum wa rahomatillahi wa baraktoh, [quote]I am thinking finding a muslim husband of a different culture would be really nice but where to find him and would I suffer from any cultural problems? [/quote] Anonymous i'm curious why do you want a muslim husband from another culture? |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| AbdulBasir |
| 07/24/01 at 19:00:33 |
| [quote] Anonymous i'm curious why do you want a muslim husband from another culture?[/quote] [slm] Ok, just a thought about this, but of course cannot speak about anonymous's reasoning. What anonyomous speaks of has a lot of different facets to it and there are a lot of different things that come into play. So I am not attempting to oversimplify here, but rather only addressing one particular facet here (in as much of a vacuum as possible) and ignoring the other stuff. Perhaps the individual has been born and raised in a cultural setting, where Islam and culture are meshed and mixed, and cultural values/norms interfere with his/her desire to practice a pure form of Islam. Perhaps there is a fear that marrying into someone of the same culture, particularly if the process of getting married is the prevalent cultural one and may be the kind which limits ones’ ability to know much about the prospective spouse. This may lead to a situation where in marrying someone from the same culture, and having limited information on them to begin with, there is a possibility that that prospect, as well as his or her family, are unabashedly cultural like your own family when you yourself are not. And that could frustrate your goal to escape those cultural norms and “cultural Islam” and move towards a pure Islam and/or a more open-minded environment. If one is looking to marry a prospect outside their own culture, then it can be assumed that the prospect himself or herself (as well as their family in all likelihood) could not be unabashedly cultural (and therefore more open and basing their Islam more on it sources rather than a cultural norm) because they wouldn’t consider marriage to that person in the first place if they were ultra-cultural. In other words, let’s say you know absolutely nothing about two prospects, one from your own culture and one from another. The probability of the second prospect being less cultural (and perhaps more Islamic) could be higher than for the first because while you have the same degree of knowledge about both, you “know” more about the former’s attitude towards culture vs Islam by the former’s very willingness to marry outside his or her culture, which is an indication of their cultural attitude. The latter remains a mystery, unless of course one had more information about them, which is not the case in this example. And allow a tongue-in-cheek observation as well. Perhaps an individual is so sick and tired of his/her culture and can no longer stand its messed up norms which are often a challenge to his/her Islamic goals. So figure that you’ve spent 20-30 years in that culture you were born in and can’t stand it anymore. Another 30 or so years in it might be absolutely unbearable. So you get married into another and it’s all interesting to start off and you won’t really get to know it for awhile anyway. And then even if there are some messed up things with it, you won’t get sick and tired of its own messed up things until maybe 20 years later. By then you’ll be old with grown up children and you won’t really care too much anyhow by then. :) [slm] |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| Anonymous |
| 07/25/01 at 04:51:35 |
| Asalamu Alaikum Wow Br. AbdulBasir I think eveything you said was exactly how I feel. You express things so well mashallah. Culture and religion are two differnt things. I am Indian and am bought up in UK. My parents still have a lot of their practices of Islam intermingled with their culture. And when I marry they see that marrying an Indian, from the same state in India, that speaks the same native language is the only acceptable thing - much of this mentality is from the fact that they fear marriage with another culture will be frowned upon from people back in India. Their reasoning is marrying from another culture is just too complex. I love my parents very much but I just feel that the culture is coming first and the religion after. |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| eleanor |
| 07/25/01 at 08:55:27 |
| slm [quote] I met my husband in - where else- The Meat Market! Where else would you find fresh meat......[/quote] ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D LOL!!!! well, Sr.Anonymous, I can't really advise you here because I got married on the basis of love and nothing else. Nothing else mattered to me at the time because I wasn't a Muslim. But I think you've gotten some very good answers above, and I tend to agree with Se7en and Barr. wasalaam eleanor |
| Re: Where did you meet your husbands? |
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| Barr |
| 07/25/01 at 12:32:09 |
| Assalamu'alaikum :-) [quote]well, Sr.Anonymous, I can't really advise you here because I got married on the basis of love and nothing else. Nothing else mattered to me at the time because I wasn't a Muslim. [/quote] Well, Muslims do get married due to love too..................................................................... *************************** ;-)Love for Allah :-) *************************** _ _ *** *** ***** *** * Take care! wassalam :-) |
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