EEC English

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EEC English
Anonymous
07/30/01 at 00:50:26
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the
European
Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving
efficiency in communications between Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is
unnecessarily difficult - for example, cough, plough, rough, through
and
thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to
iron out
these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by a
committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's'
instead
of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve
this
news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both
letters
are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the
minds of
klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it kould be
announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be  written 'f'.
This
would make words like 'fotograf' twenty per sent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to
reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are  possible.
Governments
would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a
deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is
disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as
though
nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem
began and
peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'.
Perhaps zen
ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a
'w'.
Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from words
kontaining 'ou'.
Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl
riten
styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and
evrivun vud
fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of the Guvermnt vud finali
hav kum
tru.

(Off the web).

Re: EEC English
Kashif
07/30/01 at 08:58:51
And you thought they weren't serious....

http://www.les.aston.ac.uk/sss/cutspelng.html
NS


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