Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Brothers & Sisters Chattin on AIM/MSN/YAHOO etc |
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| SomairaAltaf |
| 08/18/01 at 01:51:07 |
| Assalamualaikum =) InshaAllah I hope this finds everyone in great health/iman etc. My question relates to bros and sisters chattin online...how do you feel about this issue..is it halaal, haraam? to what extent is it alright for a bro and sis to chit-chat, (gup shup). does anyone have any articles on this subject...does anyone know where the previous threads to this topic are?!?!? has anyone..talked to an alim..etc? anywho...lol let me know inshaAllah what ur thoughts are on this issue take care ws Somaira |
| Re: Brothers & Sisters Chattin on AIM/MSN/YAHOO etc |
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| Mujaahid |
| 08/18/01 at 20:20:06 |
| The following were taken from islam-qa.com Question: 2105: Contact with a fiancée via the Internet, 1998-05-19 As salamu alaykum I asked a sister for her hand in marriage on-line and we talk to each other casually on the internet; is it allowed to speak to her even though I am not able to get married until I graduate (in 3 years). was salamu alaykum Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If a proper nikaah (marriage contract) has been done, then you can talk to her however you want, whenever you want, because she is legally your wife, even if you have not yet consummated the marriage. But if the Islamic contract has not yet been done, then she is still a "stranger" (non-mahram) to you, so avoid speaking directly to her. As for corresponding with her via e-mail or the Internet, there is nothing wrong with doing so, as long as the content of your letters is restricted to permissible matters such as advising, teaching and so on. But be very careful not to get dragged into romantic talk or anything else that could inflame desires or result in something bad. May Allaah help us and you to obey Him and to avoid everything that may earn His wrath. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad. ---------------- Question: 6453: Men and women talking to one another on the internet within the limits of good manners, 1999-11-12 Well a year from now one of my friend, a girl, had introduced me to one of her online brother..and we have been talkin online for about a year now. Its not like we have ever talked about anything indecent, we talk in a well respected manner, and he sometimes jokes around,too. We both are aware of our religion..and we know how it is haraam to have girlfriends or boyfriends. But over time we both hav grown interested in each other.. and he has told me that he wants to marry me, but right now is too soon, i m only 16 and will be 17 in 2 months... the situation is too hard to explain...and i am really confused on what should be done..and what shouldnt. I really dont want to do anything that is Haraam or isnt right.. and i do have faith in Allah..that if he is good for me oneday we will be together... So i just needed some advice on this.. is talkin to a non-mahram guy online wrong?.. And this is the only way we know each other which is through internet...we havent met..but we have seen each other's pictures.. Well i hope all this makes sense to you..and you will be able to help me out here, cause right now i really need it.. i have been lookin through ur site and trying to learn more about our religion..and it is mashallah a good source.. but me still confused..about this situation... we havent done anything wrong..just talk online.. and hoping that Allah will guide us to be together... but the question that keeps coming up on my mind is if Islaamicaly is all this acceptable.. i have talked to other ppl..and he has talked to people too..and some say its wrong...and some say its ok as long as our niyyat is good and we havent done anything wrong. please give me some advice here..thank you.. khuda hafiz Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is known in the religion of Allaah that it is forbidden to follow in the footsteps of the Shaytaan. Everything that could lead a person to fall into haraam things is also haraam, even if in principle it is originally permitted. This is what the scholars call “the principle of warding off harm.” Concerning this matter, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan.” [al-Noor 24:21]. With regard to the second matter, He says (interpretation of the meaning): “And insult not those whom they (disbelievers) worship besides Allaah, lest they insult Allaah wrongfully without knowledge…” [al-An’aam 6:108] Here Allaah forbids the believers to insult the mushrikeen lest that leads to them insulting the Lord, may He be glorified and exalted. There are many examples of this principle in sharee’ah. Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) mentioned many of them and explained them well in his excellent book A’laam al-Muwaqqi’een. (See 3/147-171 thereof). The issue under discussion here also comes under this category. Conversation – whether verbally or in writing – between men and women is permissible in and of itself, but it may be a way of falling into the traps of the Shaytaan. Whoever knows that he is somewhat weak, and is afraid that he may fall into the traps of the Shaytaan, has to refrain from such conversations, in order to save himself. Whoever is sure that he will be able to remain steadfast, then we think that it is permissible in his case, but there are certain conditions: 1. The conversation should not be allowed to wander too far from the topic being discussed; or it should be for the purposes of calling others to Islam. 2. They should not let their voices be soft, or use soft and gentle expressions. 3. They should not ask about personal matters that have no bearing on the matter being discussed, such as how old a person is, how tall he or she is, or where he or she lives… etc. 4. Other brothers (in the case of men) or sisters (in the case of women) should take part in the conversation or read the correspondence, so that the Shaytaan will find no way to enter the hearts of the people who are conversing or corresponding. 5. The conversation or correspondence must be halted immediately if the heart starts to stir with feelings of desire. ----------- Question: 1497: Manners when talking to women, 1998-03-22 I have heard a ruling regarding the reasons a male Muslims is allowed to speak to a Muslim female and want to know if it is correct. It said that there are only five reasons one may talk to her: 1. to ask how her family 2. for medical purposes 3. for financial purposes (e.g. in a shop) 4. to find out about her personality for marriage suitability 5. to give her dawah (Islamic knowledge). Is this correct? If it is, please provide the evidence from where the ruling is made (i.e. Daleel). Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The conditions for speaking to a woman to whom one is not related are mentioned in the following aayaat (interpretation of the meaning): ". . . And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen; that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts . . ." [al-Ahzaab 33:53] ". . . then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner." [al-Ahzaab 33:32] Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in his Tafseer: "This means that they should not speak softly. Allaah commanded them to speak in a concise and decisive manner (i.e., they should be serious and brief in their speech, and not be vague or talk aimlessly). There should be no possible indication on the face that could be taken to indicate any softness in the heart, as the Arab women (before Islaam) used to do when speaking to men, by making their voices soft like women who are taking care of small children, or like prostitutes. Allaah forbade women to do that. The phrase "lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire" means lest such a person should hope for immoral deeds, indecency or romance. "Speaking in an honourable manner" means speaking in a way that does not go against Sharee’ah or offend people. Women are encouraged when speaking to men to whom they are not related and to mahrams among their in-laws to be somewhat rough or abrupt in their speech, without raising the voice, because they are commanded to lower their voice. Speaking with a woman to whom one is not related (i.e., not mahram) should only be for a specific need, such as asking a question, buying or selling, asking about the head of the household, and so on. Such conversations should be brief, with nothing doubtful in either what is said or how it is said. The idea of limiting speech with women to the five instances mentioned in the question needs to be approached with caution, because they could be taken as examples instead of limits. One must also adhere to the conditions set out by the Sharee’ah even in instances where such conversations are necessary, such as in da’wah, giving fatwas, buying or selling, etc. And Allaah knows best. -------- Question: 1121: Limits and conditions within which a man may speak to a non-mahram woman, 1999-04-24 My question is about the adab or the manner between a brother and sister? I need clarifcation, are we allowed to give salam to sister who is not your muhram or talk to her as you talk to a brother, and how much you allowed to talk? and what about the non-muhram who are cousine, for example the uncles daughter Am I allowed to give salam and talk to her, and how is her life?please provide for me daleel(proof) and what about marriage? what allowed talk and salam, ( what is allowed and not) all these things! because today people mixed between culture and deen, when you tell them about that they say you are bringing new religon!, even alot brothers who relgious don't know this, you may see salafy brother talking weetlgy to sister who were nikab and not his muhram, Answer: Praise be to Allaah. In brief, what the fuqaha’ have said about women’s voices is that they are not ‘awrah in and of themselves, and there is nothing wrong with listening to them when there is a need to do so, so they do not forbid listening to them, but certain conditions apply, as follows: The woman should speak without elongating the words, making her voice soft, or raising her voice. It is haraam for a man to listen with enjoyment, for fear of fitnah (temptation). The decisive factor for knowing what is haraam in the matter of women’s speaking is what is included in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.” [al-Ahzaab 33:32] What is forbidden is being too soft in speech. It is obligatory for women to speak in an honourable manner, which means, as the mufassireen explained, that they should not make their voices soft when addressing men. In conclusion, what is required of the Muslim woman when she speaks to a non-mahram man is that she should adhere to what is mentioned in this aayah. She should refrain from what is forbidden and should fulfil her duties. She should speak only when necessary, and only about matters that are permissible and honourable, not evil. Between a woman and a non-mahram man there should be no intonation, gestures, chat, joking, flirting or playful talk, so that there will be no room for provocation of desires and doubts. Women are not prevented from talking to non-mahram men when it is necessary to do so, such as dealing directly with them when buying things or conducting any other financial transaction, because in such cases it is necessary for both parties to speak. A woman may also ask a scholar about some legal Islamic matter, or a man may ask a woman such questions, as is proven in various texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah. Within the guidelines described above, there is nothing wrong with a woman speaking to a non-mahram man. It is also permissible for men to greet women with salaam and vice versa, according to the most correct opinion, but this greeting must be free of anything that may provoke desire in the person in whose heart is a disease, so as to be safe from fitnah and pay attention to the regulations outlined above. If there is fear of fitnah being provoked by this greeting, then the woman should refrain from either initiating or returning the greeting, because warding off fitnah by neglecting the greeting is warding off mischief, and warding off mischief takes precedence over doing something useful. (See al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah by ‘Abd al-Kareem Zaydaan, vol 3/276). And Allaah knows best. -------- Question: 8185: Advice to those who visit chat rooms , 2000-11-09 There are now a large number of chat sites and there are many people who participate in them. What advice can you give to those who visit chat rooms, whether to read or to join in? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Yes, there are indeed many chat rooms on the Internet, and many people who visit them. There follow some points of advice for those who read them and those who write on them. - Sincerity towards Allaah. Every person will die and what he writes during his lifetime will remain. So strive not to write anything except things that you will be pleased to see on the Day of Resurrection. There is no good in doing anything that is not intended to please Allaah. - The ordinary person who is not a specialist has to choose sites that are sound and useful, and avoid the sites of the followers of bid’ah and bad sites. - Boycott sites of the people of bid’ah and sites which mostly contain bid’ah, because participation and discussion are the lifeblood of these sites. It is not permissible to promote the people of bid’ah; we must cause their names to die out and strive to prevent them from becoming well known. The reaction of some of the Ahl al-Sunnah may have the opposite effect. It is not permissible for the ordinary Muslim to read the sites of the people of bid’ah with the motive of just looking or of discussing without knowledge. He should leave it to those who are qualified to deal with it. There is nothing wrong with his telling the scholars about what the innovators are saying, then transmitting the scholars’ response. - Reminding the owners of “mixed-up” sites (sites which indicate confusion between Sunnah and bid’ah) of Allaah and of the fact that it is not permissible for them to allow innovators or authors of false opinions to spread those views through their site. - The seekers of knowledge (students of sharee’ah) have to support their brothers who have taken on the task of refuting the people of bid’ah who rely on their large numbers; if one of them writes something, ten others applaud and praise him, and condemn the one whose view he is refuting. - It is important for shaykhs, writers and well-known people to take part in these groups. - It is not essential for the scholar to join in directly. That may take up too much of his time. It is sufficient for some of his trustworthy students to convey information from him. - Beware of wasting time. any students have let these chat rooms take up too much of their time. It is not necessary to refute every single bleat and every single foolish notion. It is sufficient to note the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Part of a man's being a good Muslim is that he should leave alone that which does not concern him.” - Being aware of the importance of spending time in teaching the Muslims and that calling them to Allaah takes priority over refuting this one and that one. Let us leave these refutations for situations where it is essential, such as when one of the people of bid’ah stirs up doubts or says something false and no one else is refuting him – in that case someone has to refute him. - The person who enters chat rooms has to realize that he is dealing with a large number of unknown persons and that the margin of trust when dealing with people who are not using their real names is very thin indeed. - We advise the enthusiastic youth not to indulge in matters of which they do not have knowledge. Regarding the matter of giving fatwas without knowledge, it is sufficient for us to note the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning) “And on the Day of Resurrection you will see those who lied against Allaah (i.e. attributed to Him sons, partners) their faces will be black” [al-Zumar 39:60] - Adhere to the etiquette dictated by Islam and restrain the tongue (and the pen or writing is regarded as one of the two “tongues”). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islamic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best. (Because) Shaytaan (Satan) verily, sows a state of conflict and disagreements among them. Surely, Shaytaan (Satan) is to man a plain enemy” [al-Israa’ :53] And Allaah is the Source of strength. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) |
| Re: Brothers & Sisters Chattin on AIM/MSN/YAHOO etc |
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| Anik |
| 08/19/01 at 00:16:43 |
| A.A. sometimes chatting, even just casually (but not immorally) can give a chnace to introduce Islam to someone. try this as well: don't put male or female in your user description, that way it's liek a hijab, ppl don't get distracted by your sex right?asalaamu alaikum. abdullah,. |
| Re: Brothers & Sisters Chattin on AIM/MSN/YAHOO etc |
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| SomairaAltaf |
| 08/19/01 at 00:31:42 |
| Assalamualaikum hmm..I was told that someone asked an Alim about this issue, and it was rec that the bro stop chitchattin with sisters even though convo usually revolved around deen related topics..fam..etc? any comments? ws Somaira |
| Re: Brothers & Sisters Chattin on AIM/MSN/YAHOO etc |
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| Saleema |
| 08/19/01 at 17:21:18 |
| [slm] I talk to a brother on line! My blood brother that is. :) hehehe. ok so i'm corny. i talk to everyone on line. usually it's about politics or religion. i only had to block only one guy and that was my own brother, he would im me while we were sitting in the same room. Oh and didn't we have this discussion three times before? You may check the old threads to see what people said there. [wlm] |
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