Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Speaking of Hijab... |
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| Sabr |
| 08/19/01 at 16:04:50 |
| Assalamu 'alaikum! Okay. So I'm back at Queen's getting ready for my final. I'm also waiting for training to start (I'm a residence assistant...like a floor mom for about 40 first years). And all of my friends are moving back into Rez... What is it about our western society that seems to dictate that men can randomly hug women?!?!? This afternoon...while in full hijab…long sleeves...baggy jeans...the works, an old, male co-worker-friend came up to me and lifted his arms for a hug. Naturally I just stood there. And he didn't lower his arms! That's the second time this has happened in less than 24 hours!! Yeah...okay, so this is the first time they have seen *me* in hijab...but I am 100% sure that these men do not attempt to hug their other Muslim acquaintances! So why aren’t they respecting my new wishes, boundaries, and religious freedoms! grrrrrrr :( My new line? "Please don't be offended that I won't hug you. I am just respecting your future partner." (whew...thanks for the vent!) fee amanillah, ~Sabr :-) |
| Re: Speaking of Hijab... |
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| Barr |
| 08/19/01 at 23:17:35 |
| Wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullah! Well, apart from that awful experience... Congratulations, sis :-) Mabrook! Nice to have that hijab on, at last, ain't it? :) [quote]My new line? "Please don't be offended that I won't hug you. I am just respecting your future partner." [/quote] Cool... :) ... that poor man must be shocked :) Keep being strong, ukhti and Take care :-) |
| Re: Speaking of Hijab... |
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| Anik |
| 08/20/01 at 00:21:24 |
| A.A. sister, i think to a certain extent I don't blame them... afterall, they are uninformed, naive and know not what they do... they are just practicing the norms of their culture, but i definitely hear what your saying, and understandably it gets you mad... just staright up tellthem, look, in my religion... and explain the hijab... tell them the point to where u are comfortable... and don't fear it (you obviously don't). otherwise, stay close to your deen, we're all very proud of you (and most importantly, Allah Subhana as well IA)! asalaamu alaikum. abdullah,. |
| Re: Speaking of Hijab... |
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| Ruqayyah |
| 08/20/01 at 00:47:06 |
| [slm] I know where you're coming from sister. I have been in that situation before too, and you would think guys would get the hint that you're "off-limits" but like brother abdullah has said, it's second nature for them to hug a friend, even if it is a girl. But alhamduliliah that you didn't feel pressured to hug him back! Mad props for standing your ground! Just explain it to them, and inshallah they'll understand your reasons :) And mashallah i'm so happy that you've started wearing hijab! mabrook:) [wlm] Ruqayyah |
| Re: Speaking of Hijab... |
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| Sonny |
| 08/22/01 at 22:01:59 |
| I love reading about hijab--you know, I have come accross such a wide variety of reports here about what that is like. Insha'Allah, I will try it soon! :) You know, your friend may have embarrassed himself and thought to make a joke to make light of his embarrassment. A little while back, I was on my way to Jummah, and I stopped to buy a soda on the way--ran into a woman I knew inside the store, smiled and greeted her and expected her to speak but she hurried off--I thought at first glance that she was embarrassed by me: then I realized that she was in the process of stealing a big bag of ice! She was embarrassed--probably by the combination of the two events. Hehe! You never know what other's are thinking--it may not be much...hehe! Well, I am going to take it up this Friday provided most of my sewing is done by then--I expect to be half done and expect to finish next week. Personally, I am looking forward to it. :) Who knows--I might even enjoy it!--Salaams, Sonny |
| Re: Speaking of Hijab... |
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| Rabia |
| 08/23/01 at 15:52:37 |
| [slm] One of the things that I love most about wearing hijab is that is serves as a protective shield. I can walk through the roughest parts of DC and people know, "Don't touch her or even speak to her, she one of dem *Muhzlems*". For the most part men of all ages and *ways of life* (i.e., hustlers, winos, playas, you get my drift) just smile, some try to give salaams and tell me to stay strong. So why then would a gentlemen from my past, who once called himself a Muslim try to hug me just last week???! He ran up to me at the subway station with open arms. I just jumped back and flexed like I was going to knock him out...or atleast try. I didn't mean to react this way, but he was coming fast and I was caught off guard. When he asked me what was wrong with me, I just asked him, "Since when are you in the habit of huggung me?" |
| Re: Speaking of Hijab... |
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| Saleema |
| 08/23/01 at 23:57:37 |
| I just jumped back and flexed like I was going to knock him out...or atleast try. Ninja Hijabi Crew (N.H.C.) You are cordially invited to join se7en, myself and Nuri. [wlm] |
| Re: Speaking of Hijab... |
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| Ziggy |
| 08/24/01 at 11:34:36 |
| salaamz. hope y'all are are doin good...and by the looks of it..sis sabr is doin veerryy good! lol. congrats on the staying-away-from-hugz-especially-from-men sorta thing..:D anywayz, on the topic of hijaab..i was just wondering wot non-muslims call ur hijaab..once a lady called it 'headgear'! :P sheesh!! wassalaam zakira :-) |
| Re: Speaking of Hijab... |
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| Sabr |
| 08/26/01 at 07:49:29 |
| Assalamu 'alaikum! Thanks for all of the support! Jazakum'Allah kheir! Alhamdulillah, things are going well...although I was pretty lonely for a couple of days :( I put on hijab at the beginning of the summer, but I was studying, and obviously wasn't working closely with a mixed group. Now with the Residence training...things are a bit different. For one...being the *ONLY* hijabi isn't helping :-) And all of my Muslim friends are on different Residence teams, so we don't get to interact as much. :( Yesterday was dedicated to working and training with the Human Rights Office, and I just found it absolutely hilarious, that while everyone can *say* that they take all peoples needs into account while in a group, I'm generally forgotten :( For example, we have a social boat "cruise" planned for sometime next week. Whooo hooo...am I looking forward to that! :OP But...masha'allah, I am doing *a lot* of da'wah! My female co-workers keep saying how they like the colours and styles of my hijabs...and of course, they all want to touch them and ask if I'm hot. lol! Some need justification, to understand that i am *not* allowing myself to be subjugated but to be liberated (you know...breaking down the stereotypes. Some are actually quite shocked to learn that I do not cover myself specifically *for* men...as in, to keep myself only for the eyes of my future husband...you know,the husband that will add me to his 20-female harem). One co-worker is even feeling the call from God to search for religion...insha'allah, through our talks, God will guide her, and she will find it in Islam! As for what the non-Muslims are calling my scarf, I get everything from: "That *thing* is called ...high....jab?? Isn't that like boxing terminology???" To... "So what country did you visit this summer to make you want to adop their traditional dress?" To think these people are in fourth and fifth year of University! It's scary that so many student leaders are ignorant about Islam. It looks like the MSA is going to have our work cut out for us this year, Alhamdulillah! Islamic Info booth, here I come... fee amanillah, ~Sabr |
| Re: Speaking of Hijab... |
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| BUSHRA |
| 08/27/01 at 09:12:35 |
| ASSALAMOALIKUM, Sister SABR,I know exactly what you are going through. I started wearing hijab in SH'ABAN LAST YEAR and it has been nearly a year and I'm ALHAMDOLILLAH still going strong. But I've had my share of "incidents". For example every Eid some of my cousins and male relatives would shake hands with us on account of Eid. So on my first EID-UL-FITR of wearing hijab I had to ward of several relatives and say no to them.(Some were quite offended) and by noon that day I came up with a strategy:I would hold my daughter in my arms with one hand and put the other hand inside my shawl,this way they realised that I was busy. Besides with these things word gets around quickly ,therefore by EID-UL-ADHA everyone just nodded and wished me but no one dared to shake hands. Anyways good luck to you and may ALLAH give you strength for wearing hijab. BUSHRA. |
| Re: Speaking of Hijab... |
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| kiwi25 |
| 08/27/01 at 14:08:13 |
| salam, mashallah sister sabr, the madinah board is very proad of u im sure, ive had expereinces of hugs of mine own actually, i was at my college freshman orientation and some guy came up to me and wanted to hug, the thing is he was muslim! i guess that was just his way of sayign salam sister! another thing is u mentined that your the only hijabi in this training program, well heres from expereince: dont give it up, this past summer i was at a five week program at the college im entering this fall and i was the only hijabi there, but i didnt let it stop me, i was never afraid to talk about islam or even subjects liek why men are alloweed four wives, like u i did alot of dawah, they saw that i wasnt scared about who i am so they respected me more :), inshallah Allah SWT will make it easy on u, u just cant give up! waslam nouha:) |
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