Parting Advice

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Parting Advice
Learner
09/03/01 at 11:14:57
slm   :)


In a couple of days time I will be bidding farewell to a very close and pious friend of mine. I will accompany him to the airport and during that time I'd like to give him a few words that he would remember and make him reflect upon life and the Deen even more deeply. I was thinking in the lines of parables and important lessons that we can learn from the words of the wise. The next time we meet would most probably be in a couple of years time.

At the moment I'm really unsure of what to say and my brains have completely blanked out on me. So I was wondering if you were in my shoes, what ‘nasiha’ would you give to a close friend of yours that was parting from you for a couple of years?

I'd really appreciate some responses...fast ;)

Jazakamullah khair.

wlm  :)
Re: Parting Advice
proudtobemuslim
09/05/01 at 06:11:32
Assalam-u-Alaikum,

These are some quotes I found at sister se7en's site www.jannah.org/shazia/wordplay.htm.  Pick one. or two. or print the whole web page and give it to him.  It's upto you.  When deciding what advice to give it might be a good idea to concentrate on what part of the deen you feel the person may be weak in and encourage him to continue in what you feel he is strong in.  But remember to tell him how much he meant to you as a friend!

This is the best I could at the moment.

=================================

Do not seek other than contentment, because therein is the bliss and the comfort of your body. Consider the case of a person who possesses the whole world: Can he take with him in the grave more than cotton and a shroud?

a poet


I looked at all friends, and did not find a better friend than safeguarding the tongue. I thought about all dresses, but did not find a better dress than piety. I thought about all types of wealth, but did not find a better wealth than contentment in little. I thought of all types of good deeds, but did not find a better deed than offering good advice. I looked at all types of sustenance, but did not find a better sustenance than patience.

Umar ra


These hearts are vessels. Fill them up with Qur'an and occupy them with nothing else.

Ibn Mas'oud


Do not censure something which has no immediate link to your interest. Forsake your enemies, and beware of your close companions, except for the trustworthy ones, for nothing equals the worth of a trustworthy companion. Do not mix with an insolent person lest he influences you with his contumelies. Never trust such a person with your secret, and solicit advice only from the God fearing people.

Umar ra


Remembrance of Allah is to the heart what water is to fish. What happens to a fish when it is taken out of water?

Ibn Taymeeyah


I swear by Allah Who alone is God, it does not matter what adversities one may encounter during the day as long as he rises up in the morning in s a state of Islam, and winds up his day in the evening in a state of Islam, accepting and submitting to his Lord.

Ibn Mas'oud


No man gains full understanding and knowledge unless he detests all the people who are not close to Allah, and then turns his attention to his own self and detests it even more.

Abu Dharda ra



Wassalam-u-Alaikum,
Uzer
Re: Parting Advice
amatullah
09/05/01 at 10:36:37
Bismillah and salam,

May Allah give you patience it is hard to part with loved ones. I just did too. But i have something but it may not be along the same lines you thinking but it is my father a long time ago who told it to me and I never will forget it and it means soooo much:
He said remember you body, your soul, your whole life is amana (a trust) that Allah left with for a short time. Do not abuse time or anything...Keep it all in the same shape for returning.

It is better in ARabic :/
Re: Parting Advice
Merimda
09/05/01 at 14:52:39
salam,

The residents invocation for the traveller:

May Allah increase you in piety, and forgive you in your faith, and cause goodness to hasen to you where ever you are.

or

I place  your religion, your faithfulness and the ends of your deeds in the trust of Allah.
Re: Parting Advice
se7en
09/05/01 at 23:15:58

as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatAllah,

Wow, people actually visit my site! :)  I have to update it one of these days (inshaAllah) :)

I think there's an *awesome* letter in Beauty of the Righteous that might be just right for you.. give me a couple hours and I'll type it up for you inshaAllah. :)

wasalaamu alaykum. :)
Re: Parting Advice
se7en
09/06/01 at 02:29:44
I'm back :)

First of all, I'd write my friend a letter instead of speaking those words of advice.. but that's just me as I'm not very articulate :)

I couldn't find that letter I was talking about.. but here is one of the most beautiful passages in the book, one that I love very much (thought it's a bit long).  Let me know what you think :)

-----------

'Aisha, God be pleased with her, reported that God's messenger [saw] once said: "Moses, upon whom be peace, once asked God Almighty, 'My Lord, tell me about Your most exalted people.'  God Almighty responded, 'They are the ones who hasten to do what I want first, just like an eagle glides with precision towards what it desires.  They are the servants of My creation who hasten to serve the guests like a young servant does in the house of his master.  They feel offended if any of My injunctions are violated, just like an angry tiger does, for an angry tiger attacks with impunity no matter how many people it faces.'"

Hence, among Allah's creation, there is an elite He blessed, and a choice He made.  They are servants who take off the shoes of comfort, put on their best effort, and dislike honor and status in this world.  The admonitions and warnings of the glorious Qur'an deprive their eyes from resting at night; and understanding the words of the benevolent King humbles to submission their body, mind, and gaze.

Such are the ones who have made their foreheads a constant pillow for their prostrations, and the rough grounds of the earth a comfort for their sides.  Hence, their hearts open, their understanding expands, and their determination to comply with its demands is stirred to the degree of intensifying their striving.  Thus, the Qur'an becomes the candlelight of their nights, the seat and bosom of their rest, the guiding light of their life, and the confounding proof against their own mind.  They grieve while people seem happy, they are awake when others are asleep, they fast when others are eating, they are bewildered when others seem at peace.  Thus, they are in constant fear and reverence of their Lord, and they are cautious about any changes that may affect the conclusion of their life.  Hence, they are mostly absorbed in their struggle.  They venture onward to meet their destiny.  They free themselves from any entanglements before it is too late, and they prepare themselves to meet their death.  Their audaciousness in pursuing the inevitable seems unimportant alongside their greater fear of the promised punishment for failure and the dangers that engulf the attainment of a most sought reward.  They conduct their lives by the dictates of the magnificent Qur'an.  They liberate themselves by making sincere offerings and true sacrifices.  They pursue the guiding light of the Merciful Lord and are impassioned in their pursuit until the divine utterance of the Qur'an is fulfilled, its promises are satisfied, and its promised comfort and joy for the believers becomes lawful for them.  In fact, its comfort and light shelters them, and its warnings spare them.  Through it, they satisfy their wishes, embrace their beloved, and in living by the Qur'an, they escape adversities, and live a heedful and a vigilant life in this world.  This is because they readily and willingly bid farewell to the glitters of this world with contempt, and they focus their gaze on the effulgent light of the hereafter with confident expectations.  Hence, they become truly content, for they have bartered the comforts of what is ephemeral for that which is everlasting.

Indeed, blessed is their commerce, and winsome is their barter, for such true human beings have truly won both, benefited from the best of both, earned God's blessings in both, and achieved what is most praiseworthy in both.  Such true believers attain their exalted and elevated stations as a reward for their brief endurance, determination, and a few short hours of patience.  They live through the ephemeral days of this passing world satisfied with little, and cuatious of a forthcoming distressful Day of Reckoning.  They intensify their struggle when calm entices others to slow down, and they are mindful of the unexpected surprises of the hour.

They do not live their days indulging in heedlessness or in the pleasures of this world, rather they engulf themselves in striving and walking through hardships in order to build what is praiseworthy and everlasting.  Exhausition tires their bodies from standing during long nights, remembering a blazing fire and praying to be spared from its sufferings.

Such blessed ones hasten to do good and to abstain from distractions, and they are free from affectation and obscenities.  They are silent but eloquent, blind but seeing, and in fact, no description can do them justice.  For the sake of their trueness calamities are dispelled, and upon them God's blessings are showered, for they have the best manners and the sweetest of tastes, and they are the most true to their promise.  They are like a saddle that carries the rider, and they are the minarets of the land, the light in the darkness, the substance of mercy and compassion, the prime of wisdom, and the backbone of the believers.  Their sides disdain from resting and they would rather stand up in prayers, and they are most forgiving of others' pitfalls, they are most pardoning of those who repent, and they are most generous in their gifts.

They aspire for God's gifts with awe, watchful awareness, and praiseworthy deeds.  They dismount the saddle of this world, brake the reigns of their hopes in it, and their fear of displeasing their Lord does not leave them a nickel to indulge in lavish things or to upgrade their shelter.  They solicit nothing of the treasures of this world, nor do they accept to relax in its comforts and furs.  They are not attracted to the ease of its vehicle, nor is their focus ever distracted by the glitters of its monumental palaces.  Nay!  They instead see everything in its reality through the guidance of Almighty Allah, and by His inspiration to their hearts, they live with what they have, and they move onward with constancy, perseverance, and patience, consenting to a few short days of hard labor.  

They wrap their bodies in simple clothes and they guard themselves against the impermissible.  They retreat to themselves to avoid possible wrongdoing, and they seek the safest passageway and the wisest course.  They walk the road of wisdom and righteousness, and they share the blessings of the hereafter with their companions in this world.  Their guarding themselves against true losses in their precaution against suffering when death comes, and they fear death, its pangs, agony, distress, and shock.  They contemplate the grave and its tightness, and they often think about the questioning angels in the grave, and how they will initiate the questioning, their scorning of the sinners, and probing of the believers.  They also fear the day when they will stand before their Lord, blessed is His name and holy are His attributes.

Such servants of God Almighty are the light that dispels darkness, and indeed they are the fountainhead of wisdom, righteousness, and balance.  God Almighty endows them with unique and unparalleled virtues, He cleanses them from affectation and replaces it with purity, trueness, and sincerity.








--- #18, from The Beauty of the Righteous & the Ranks of the Elite, slightly edited.
Re: Parting Advice
se7en
09/07/01 at 03:36:13
as salaamu alaykum,

I know you were looking for something to *say*, but I couldn't find one piece of advice that seemed just right.  But I did think of something that might be a good gift!

I got this little book at ISNA called [url=http://www.muslimcentral.com/shopdisplayproducts_books.asp?id=11&cat=Books&subcat=12&L2=Classics/Spirituality]Dear Beloved Son[/url], a collection of some pieces of advice Imam Ghazali gave one of his most beloved students.  It's beautiful, deep, and very short.  :)  If you're able to, and you think it might be right, I'd *definitely* recommend buying it as a gift for your friend, maybe adding a little note to him in the beginning of the book.  

Everytime he reads the book after that, he'll remember you inshaAllah, and make dua for you :)

Just a suggestion :)

wasalaamu alaykum.
Re: Parting Advice
Learner
09/10/01 at 08:27:54
slm  :)

A BIG Jazakamullah khair to all of you guys for the posts. Also jazaks to everybody who messaged me and emailed me. Im really grateful to all of you for your efforts...and if it wasn't for time I would mention all your names individually!


wlm   :)


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