Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Nationality Barrier Regarding Marriage :( |
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| y_rahmi |
| 09/05/01 at 05:04:58 |
| Assalammu'alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakathu. I have something on mind that make me a bit confused and am wondering why this happened, and what is the solution. This is about marriage of a man and woman that they are not come from same country/nationality. I mean suppose an Indonesian marry an Arabian, or An American marry Malaysian, Indian marry Pakistani,etc. What do you think about this matter? I know that there is NO race barrier in Islam. Arabian Muslims, and non Arabians Muslims are same, right? except their piety. But as you know some our culture is sometimes very closed. Many parents just want their children marry people from the same country. Many girls / boys said that they don't care about race as far as their prospective soultmate are good muslim . I think nationality is not a matter. But you know it is very diffcult to make our parents understand about this matter :(. I am sure that many muslims face this problems nowsaday, right? Plse tell me what shall we tell to our parents about this? Many parents are scared if their daughters marry foreigners, I mean the men from different country, then those men will leave their daughter easily and it will affect their daughters' life in future. Coz the parents see many bad cases about this matter. I am waiting your response. Jazakallahu Khairan Wasalam RAHMI |
| Re: Nationality Barrier Regarding Marriage :( |
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| mujaahid |
| 09/05/01 at 05:54:41 |
| Assalaamu-Alaikum Well what can i say, we muslims are RACISTS! We make the kaafirs look good! I know so so many cases where people have been unable to marry because of racism from parents and the community. This is a real problem which we as young muslims need to address, in particular in helping women. Men can stand up for themselves, but the women, they have it hard. I know of sdeveral girls who were killed for marrying someone from another country. I know women who are on the run, running from hired assasins. I know of brothers who have been beaten up by the girls relatives. Its a real problem, and we have got to stand up as an Ummah and do something about it. Because its leading to a lot of young muslims living in misery. ANY muslim can marry ANY muslim, as long as they both believe in one the Shahaada. This is the only barrier. Yet we today wont let our sisters marry guys from other nations, why? Because they were born on a different bit of land? Is that a good reason? Is it? Education is the key to sorting this out, but people are just not prepared to say anything about it, so how do you educate and sort out a problem when so many muslims dont believe thier IS a problem? |
| Re: Nationality Barrier Regarding Marriage :( |
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| y_rahmi |
| 09/05/01 at 08:29:29 |
| Assalammu'alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakathu. As I told earlier that this is really a problem for us. But as you know we are in dilemma. At one side we don't want nationality or race will be barrier for muslims to marry or to unite. But at another side, we also have to make our families be pleasure with our marriage. Especially as we all know that for sisters, their marriage will be invalid without their "Wali" permission. Also we can understand the worriness of some parents especially if their dauthers marry foreigners. They will worry will their sons in law will treat their daughter well? Can they meet their daughter often if then their sons in law will bring their daughter to another country? Ajd surely all parents will dream in their old days they will gather together with all their families, their daughters, sons, and grandshildrens. I publish that case on this board, to find our the wise solution for this problems, Insha Allah. Then if there are any of you have good ideas for this matters, I would be very happy to hear from you. That's all for now.. Wasalammu'alaikum Wr Wb, RAHMU |
| Re: Nationality Barrier Regarding Marriage :( |
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| Kashif |
| 09/05/01 at 11:30:00 |
| assalaamu alaikum [quote]Well what can i say, we muslims are RACISTS! We make the kaafirs look good![quote] Interesting point. A friend pointed out to me that the numbers of kuffar who marry interracially completely eclipses that of the Muslims, yet we are the ummah who is supposed to represent the brotherhood of man! I think we'll have to wait until today's young Muslims become parents tomorrow and then themselves work to break free of these racial stereotypes. Too many of the elders are just set in their ways for them to change. Kashif Wa Salaam |
| NS |
| Re: Nationality Barrier Regarding Marriage :( |
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| nehar |
| 09/05/01 at 18:53:01 |
| [slm] i once read this beautiful article about racism, it talked about the flowers in a garden and how each one was different yet none greater than the other. It made that a comparrision to the unity of the nations to the gardens and exlained how it can only be acheived wen ppl recognise that its Islam which brings ppl of the world under 1 banner, and within this banner ppl can achive true piety. After that i spoke to my mum about mixed marriages and she was kool at 1st but then she began changing her views to roses were greater. Anyways we gotta start slowly educating those who dont understand and be patient with them. I think with my mum she would like to communicate whoever my brother and us sisters marry and she would find it diffucult if he or she couldnt speak bengali. I think the other prob is that many parents wonder wat other ppl will say and think, they r 2 bothered about society they live in!! There r many mixed marriages which fail, so parents also get worried about that, but they forget all the successful mixed marriages out there. Anyways, just make dua and start educating those who dont understand. [wlm] Nehar |
| Re: Nationality Barrier Regarding Marriage :( |
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| Ziggy |
| 09/06/01 at 14:37:46 |
[quote]Assalaamu-Alaikum Well what can i say, we muslims are RACISTS! We make the kaafirs look good! quote] not necessarily bro...look at the kaafirs..err..kuffar...u really think they are the best ppl on this earth?? nah..plus..many muslims may be racist but as y'all know racism is obviously forbidden in islam... ignorance is so widespread nowdays its unbelievable.. anyway..i just thought i'd post.. :) peace zakira ps. if i've offended any1..i'm sorry...it was unintentional :) pps. if i ain't makin any sense...sorry..it'll blow over in about an hour :) |
| Re: Nationality Barrier Regarding Marriage :( |
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| amatullah |
| 09/06/01 at 16:39:42 |
| Bismillah and salam Nationality becomes less important and the future more secure when you know the brother's way of practicing his beliefs. The singles should discuss these awareness issues with their parents before the actual situation even comes up. We have the responsibilty to first educate the ones close to us as the articles in this board said even recently right? Me and my husband are different from each other, whole other contenets. i am from Asia he is from Africa. But we speak Arabic together and we practice to our best and we have a commitment al7emdulilah. And i mean not just to each other but first to Allah so when something we do have a difference, then Allah and the prophet be the judge and what seems closer to Islam is what rules it. So you have to think about these when someone proposes don't say no just becuase he is out of your race. You have the right to want your children to speak arabic or whatever conditions you may have, but I think singles now should really consider this. That a person who is pious is more fair and kind then one who is not regardles of his color or nationality. so talk about it with your wali. and come up with ways to get fight it in your family without aggrevation. Whether it be evidence, statistics, or whatever. Introduce informative sites, articles, history. One of the reasons for the prophets multiple marriages was to make the bonds between different tribes stronger. We are in much need for that in this world. So if you know this guy goes to the mosque for his 5's and has high manners and is calm then start fighting racism with your own self. As for the men singles responsibility, i think perhaps they have to practice from now their tolerantce. As the prophet saws said when he is sick on death bed he fears for two weak groups in the ummah. the orphans rights and the womens. You have to learn not only what pleases you but to learn her culture, (for example) not just what you would like her cook for you form your culture. You have to make effort to be kind and soft even if she gets frustrated with people reactions or the difference, then you should be the best friend and protector and the one who makes it better not worse. So please go ahead start making some efforts to learn something different and an effort to be kind and open to other things when your way is most comfortable to you. deprogram your misconceptions like what is beauty according to the magazines, etc. Also remember..your child's right on you before s/he is even born is for you to chose a good mother. I wish all the singles the best hidaya in chosing the right mate. |
| Re: Nationality Barrier Regarding Marriage :( |
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| Denise |
| 09/08/01 at 20:49:04 |
| As Salaam U Alaikum, everyone... ;) This is sad case indeed.... The sister's class I attend were just talking about racism... It hurts me that my fellow male muslim will discriminate against me, but treat the woman who doesn't cover with more respect, because of my skin color... Or my fellow muslim man or woman, will look at me as if I'm from another planet... :( All praise is due to Allah, because he has allowed me gain confidence via knowledge on how I am to think, act, and be, concerning racism... I'm not saying we don't have some bias thoughts or feelings, (but some of us work on eliminating them) But because, I know what Allah says in Qur'an, we will be judged on our intentions/ actions/ deeds not our race or education,<>(not quoting Qur'an verbatim) it takes some of the/my hurt away... It's the devil whispering those negative thoughts and theories about racism.. I say make dua for those Muslim's who need to rid themselves of their ignorance, and racial bias.. Alway find comfort in Allah, because he is our creator... Salaam... Denise ;) |
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