Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| [how do I pay her back without being humiliated?] |
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| Anonymous |
| 09/12/01 at 00:37:51 |
| Assalamoalikum, Dear sisters ,I have a problem and I'm too embarressed to tell this to my friends and family so I need your sincere opinion.It started last year in summer when I put my 3 year old daughter in a play group/nursery,this was her first time away from me. The lady who is incharge of this facility,we'll call her TINA was very nice and helpful to me. Unfortunately my daughter did not settle there and after a month fell ill with flu and fever. That was a busy time for me so afterwards it was very hard to convince her to go back to school. I still owed the nursery/playgroup some money and I kept reminding myself that I would go back and return it but somehow I never got around to it and by that autumn came and then Ramadan. During November I had another baby and things got busier than ever.My older one had become quite a handful now and my baby boy was also very young and a friend suggested I should try to get her back into nursery. So in Ramadan I rang the play group and spoke to Tina who was angry at me but Iapologized profusely and told her that Idid not mean to trick her in anyway ,I just got very busy. After she forgave me Iagreed to send my daughter from January and also that I would pay what I owed her from the summer. Now in January a social worker contacted me to tell me that my daughter was elegible for the goverment nursery (which is free where I live) and that they also had a place availble in January. Iwas obviously well pleased and so my daughter started the goverment nursery and settled there very well. Now all this time I've been thinking of going to the playgroup and informing Tina that my daudhter would not be joining her and also to pay her what ever I still owe,but Inever got around to it and today Iwas crossing the road with my a friend of mine and our kids when TINA who incidently was driving by stopped and chatted with my friend for a while and for obvious reasons ignored me.My friends do not know that Istill owe her money and I am too ashamed to tell them this anyway . I want to return the money and apologize profusely but I'm scared that she'll humiliate me infront of everyone .I'm thinking of writing a letter and enclosing the money in it and Ill just drop it off at her nursery first thing in the morning.This way I wont have to face public humiliation. Please tell me what to do? |
| Re: [how do I pay her back without being humiliated?] |
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| eleanor |
| 09/12/01 at 05:20:54 |
| slm it's gone too far. This woman feels used. Get it over quickly, go and give her the money and apologise for any inconvenience. How about giving her a little gift too? A plant or something. If you get humiliated and if she makes a show of you in front of everyone, then so be it. Just remain calm and leave the place. Then she'll be the angry one just making a show of herself. hope this helps but Allah knows best wasalaam eleanor |
| Re: [how do I pay her back without being humiliated?] |
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| blissfull |
| 09/12/01 at 10:00:36 |
| slm it is better to be humiliated by creation,rather then face ALLAH swt with debt. never have fear for doing the right thing,and its never too late. take care |
| Re: [how do I pay her back without being humiliated?] |
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| mujaahid |
| 09/13/01 at 10:38:18 |
| Assalaamu-alaikum. The best thing you can do is give her the money you owe her face to face, but call her up first, asking when she is free so you can visit her. Dont just jump out of knowhere as she is obviously hostile towards you, and will probably not be too happy to see you. So my advice is call her up, arrange a time to meet, and give her the money in an envelope with a nice small card with an apology and explanation, and also a small gift (not a plant, what if it dies?, maybe a box of chocolates or something. Inshallah she will accept it and thier will be no more hostilities! Good luck! |
| Re: [how do I pay her back without being humiliated?] |
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| Anonymous |
| 09/25/01 at 23:33:45 |
| Assalamu alikum Lets look at it from Tina's point of view, someone made a promise to her in return for a service. Tina agreed to her end of the bargin but the other person didn't. So Tina feels she can't trust the other person. By ignoring Tina and not giving her what you promised maked things worse. So you need to give her what you promised. If you feel to shy to face her, then get a card and write down your apologies, send some chocolates maybe, and put the money you owe in the card. Then send it ASAP. Don't wait any longer. |
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