Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| I am sick and tired...... |
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| solehah |
| 09/24/01 at 07:39:09 |
| Salaam All my life I have been the good daughter. The middle child who had to be nice to everyone, the dependable one who everyone turn to when things need to be done or solved. As a result, I have learnt to be a quiet child. To obey was the dictum of the day. I escaped in books, pretending I was part of the Famous Five, or the old chair in my room is actually a Wishing Chair. The old tree outside my window would have imaginary Lands and it was called The Magic Faraway Tree. All the while I was never allowed to gainsay any instructions nor words uttered by those around me. I grew up. I became me. I developed into the person I have always wanted to be. I suddenly found my voice, sounds that gave forms to my thoughts. I defined thoughts and wasn't afraid to explore. I learnt to say NO. So now, allow me the space and luxury of venting my piece of rantdom. I am sick and tired...of the media circus with its performing White and Arab and Asian and Whathaveyou clowns with their ludicrous antics that would have been funny if they are not in fact sick. Making slapsticks out of truth and distorting what is right. I am sick and tired....of explaining to people why Jihad is not equal to evil, people who did not want to know but who seek to have their ignorant prejudices confirmed. I am sick and tired....of watching disunited Muslims clamouring to appease the mighty awakened giant, jostling their brothers and sisters in Islam aside in their haste to gain worldly benefits. I am sick and tired.....of learning about self-centred groups who desecrated the holy purity and beauty of Islam by imposing ugly forms of practices supposedly to establish a Country based on the Syariah Laws. I am sick and tired.....of having to defend Islam when Islam needs no defending, and yet I know I must. I am sick and tired....of reading about Arab kingdoms who forsook another Muslim country despite the absence of irrefutable proofs of wrongdoings just because the big bully will be pleased. I am sick and tired....of feeling angry and helpless against opportunists who use a tragedy to victimise my sisters and brothers. I am sick of this whole farce I am tired of shedding sad and defeated tears. I pray that ALlah will Bless us with His Hidayah and His Mercy.....Amin. Syukran for hearing me out. If any should be offended by this rant my sincere pleading for your forgiveness. "When the Piper has blown his final tune And all lil feet have danced till sore Silence will surround and everywhere still Laughter and clapping heard no more Death will overcome all joyful celebrations Promises broken, soulful pity The truth will stand unshaken unfazed His Kingdom sweet, for eternity" ~ Solehah, 24/09/2001 Wassalam |
| Re: I am sick and tired...... |
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| BroHanif |
| 09/25/01 at 03:54:22 |
| I feel the same way, however, I now have a new strength in my soul, it inspires me to pray more and sin less. Turn to Allah and flee from the dunyah. My eyes and ears withnesss that if there are any people in the world who are brave right now it is the Taliban, upholding the Sharia and the truth. My heart weeps at the injustice that the so called Muslim lands are performing, yet they will not hold the kingdom for long. My soul rejoices at the the roar of the lions in Kabul serving only Allah and defying all others. Fear not, Allahs religion will rule. Taubah and Dua right now and the will to change from losers to heroes, heroes of Islam, Insha-allah. |
| Re: I am sick and tired...... |
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| Denise |
| 09/25/01 at 19:06:27 |
| I hear ya... Allah's time is our best medicine... With prayer and time, we will be at ease... I want this uneasy feeling to go away, but a lot of it is me... I say this only, because where I am ate so far, All Praise is Due to Allah, I've not experienced too much bad... I pray to Allah nothing more will come.. But, yes, in time we will get tired of being tired and just live... I don't want anyone to dictate my feelings, nor do I want to oppress myself... So, I pray to Allah for the ease that I today started to feel a wee bit of... I recall someone saying the rememberance of Allah is one of our best medicines.. I will remind myself of this, and hope to remind others and hope you all will remind me... As Salaam U Alaikum Denise... ;) |
| Re: I am sick and tired...... |
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| solehah |
| 09/25/01 at 20:54:38 |
| Salaam Sis Denise Back in 1994 I underwent one of the most difficult times of my life. It was a struggle to live to just retain my sanity. Only my remembrance of ALlah and His Words kept me alive and kept me lucid. Alhamdulillah. Again, in 1996 and 1999, I had to battle with so many things because both my pregnancies were life threatening to either me or my baby. I persevered because of ALlah and ALlah alone. Every day and every hour I would recite ayat 286 of Surah Al Baqarah untiringly because I know that what ALlah promise, He will deliver. I kept telling ALlah that I am struggling but I feel as if I cannot take it anymore. I told Him that if this test is to continue then give me strength but if this is the limit of my strength then please end the test and give me Hidayah. Alhamdulillah, I am now living a very well adjusted life with a beautiful family. What we have now is nothing new. Islam has always been misunderstood and misrepresented since time immemorial. But as always, we will triumph. Not by killing off loads of people in a misguided attempt to do Jihad but by seeking the Mercy and Grace of ALlah, by making constant dua for everyone's safety and well being, by doing whatever da'wah efforts e can. On a more reflective note, my struggles in 1994 to me seems more strenuous than the current situation. Not because the former affects me personally and directly and the latter do not, but maybe because, right now, I know I can share my concern and my worries with my brothers and sisters, everywhere. Wallahualam bissawab. |
| Re: I am sick and tired...... |
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| Denise |
| 09/26/01 at 07:33:37 |
[quote]Salaam Sis Denise Back in 1994 I underwent one of the most difficult times of my life. It was a struggle to live to just retain my sanity. Only my remembrance of ALlah and His Words kept me alive and kept me lucid. Alhamdulillah. Again, in 1996 and 1999, I had to battle with so many things because both my pregnancies were life threatening to either me or my baby. I persevered because of ALlah and ALlah alone. Every day and every hour I would recite ayat 286 of Surah Al Baqarah untiringly because I know that what ALlah promise, He will deliver. I kept telling ALlah that I am struggling but I feel as if I cannot take it anymore. I told Him that if this test is to continue then give me strength but if this is the limit of my strength then please end the test and give me Hidayah. Alhamdulillah, I am now living a very well adjusted life with a beautiful family. What we have now is nothing new. Islam has always been misunderstood and misrepresented since time immemorial. But as always, we will triumph. Not by killing off loads of people in a misguided attempt to do Jihad but by seeking the Mercy and Grace of ALlah, by making constant dua for everyone's safety and well being, by doing whatever da'wah efforts e can. On a more reflective note, my struggles in 1994 to me seems more strenuous than the current situation. Not because the former affects me personally and directly and the latter do not, but maybe because, right now, I know I can share my concern and my worries with my brothers and sisters, everywhere. Wallahualam bissawab.[/quote] As Salaam U Alaikum, Solehah! :) Yes, I agree with Allah we will come through... With the help of Allah, I took care of a dying father... It hurt me, becuse I am the youngest of his 12 children... I could not understand why I was placed in that position to feed, clean, and worry over him while they did not... I went through a long battle that year... Now 9 years later, I understand, am very honored that All Praise is Due to Allah, he chose me to care for my father... Of his 12 children, there are two who are muslim... But at that time, my sister who is the other muslim just lost her husband while still pregnant... So, she couldn't do it... I came through that, and this to I will come through just like the other hardships... After every hardship comes ease... All Praise is due to Allah.. ( Sometimes we may not even get answers to some of the things we ask about, but we keep our trust in faith in Allah... If Allah wills, he will let us know on the day of judgement) Solehah, I agree. All Praise is Due to Allah for this place to share our thoughts, feelings, ups, downs, laughs and what evers with each other. I really don't have too many Muslim's as friends, who I can just sit, talk and relax with.. :( All Praise is Due to Allah, that you made it through your past hardships... Again, we know after every hardship comes ease, then we go through it again... It will only make those who truly believe stronger... If Allah wills Solehah, I pray that Allah will continue to reward you.. As Salaam U Alaikum, My Dear Heart.. Hope I made sense... Denise ;) |
| Re: I am sick and tired...... |
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| solehah |
| 09/26/01 at 09:51:58 |
| Waalaikumsalam warahmatullah wabarakatuh Denise [quote] ( Sometimes we may not even get answers to some of the things we ask about, but we keep our trust in faith in Allah... If Allah wills, he will let us know on the day of judgement) [/quote] You are very right Sis. Sometimes things juts don't make sense to us so we wonder and we questioned. Sometimes, the answer is there, staring at us in our face but yet we fail to see. Why ? Because we did not look at the right place or in the right way. But sometimes, our questions remain unanswered. So we thought. We have to understand Sis that sometimes silence in itself is an answer from ALlah. I remember a poem by Rumi, a Sufi. The gist of the poem is this, a man prays day and night to ALlah and yet he felt as if he did not get any reply for his prayers. So one day Syaitan came and mocked him telling him that despite all his prayers and his praises to ALlah, he gets silence. So the man was influenced and stopped praying. Later, an angel came to him and ask him why he stopped praying and the man related his disappointment at the response to his prayers. The angel then told him that he had been rewarded. He asked how, in what manner. The angel said, your continuous love for ALlah that made you want to pray and praise him, that made you crave for him is the reward. Masya'ALlah. How true. Our Iman is our reward for all the ibadah that we perform for ALlah. Simple right and yet, so profound. [quote] Solehah, I agree. All Praise is Due to Allah for this place to share our thoughts, feelings, ups, downs, laughs and what evers with each other. I really don't have too many Muslim's as friends, who I can just sit, talk and relax with.. :( [/quote] Sis, I am here. I know that I am new and I don't want to seem as if I am pushing my presence forward but I have known what it is like to not have friends to talk to, and I hated that. So, if you feel you can accept the sincere love of a sister to another sister, my ears and my heart are open to you. Insya'Allah you can talk to me about anyting :) [quote] All Praise is Due to Allah, that you made it through your past hardships... [/quote] All glorious praises to Him indeed. [quote] Hope I made sense... [/quote] You made perfect sense to me Sis :) Wassalam Denise, may you be in ALlah's Guidance and Protection, Amin. |
| Re: I am sick and tired...... |
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| Zara |
| 10/03/01 at 09:12:57 |
| Solehah, yep I feel that too. Although I am not the middle child, I am no.2. I think I got the best deal because often the middle child has a tough time. This is because the middle child is compared to the elder children and has to cope with younger siblings. Also as Brohanif summarises in a nutshell [quote] I now have a new strength in my soul, it inspires me to pray more and sin less. Turn to Allah and flee from the dunyah. My eyes and ears withnesss that if there are any people in the world who are brave right now it is the Taliban, upholding the Sharia and the truth. My heart weeps at the injustice that the so called Muslim lands are performing, yet they will not hold the kingdom for long. My soul rejoices at the the roar of the lions in Kabul serving only Allah and defying all others. Fear not, Allahs religion will rule. Taubah and Dua right now and the will to change from losers to heroes, heroes of Islam, Insha-allah. [/quote] Adding to that I can never feel unhappy for too long because if you ponder on the blessings that Allah ta'ala has bestowed upon you, then that will suffice to make you smile with gratitude. If that doesn't help then look below you at those who are suffering more than you so that gratitude fills your heart. If ri'yaa (pride) creeps into your heart then look above you and you will realise that there are many people, who are much more pious than you. This thought keeps my humility intact - masha'allah. Also reading posts from all you makes me think wow there are some really good practising muslims out there. You increase my Love for Islam. Be informed that the remembrance of Allah brings peace to your heart. [Ar-Raad:28] May allah reward you all. Subhan'allah. slm Zara |
| Re: I am sick and tired...... |
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| flyboy_nz |
| 10/07/01 at 15:52:21 |
| salaam, Sis Solehah, I've been thinking for a while....looking ahead to Ramadhan, I've been a little uneasy- half looking forward to it and half scared that I may not be able to stand up to what is expected of me. Down here the days will be long (~14 hours and the moment and getting longer), the weather will be dry and hot and I'm unsure whether i will be able to cope. But life is a jihaad! A struggle! and I'm actually happy that Allah swt is giving me the opportunity to prove myself. We are subjected to trials all throughout our lives...some harder than others, but if you are able to get through it than inshaAllah the reward will be so sweet:) The reward you will have in this world will be the fact that you are a stronger person, able to handle the trials that life brings you and the reward of the akhira, just imagine..... hmm time to get back to the struggle of the daily grind...just a few thoughts:) wasalaam, Ahmed |
| Re: I am sick and tired...... |
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| solehah |
| 10/08/01 at 21:42:12 |
| Salaam Sis Zara After going through some of the things in my life, I am just so grateful to be alive, in all sense of the word. Life is just too precious for us to indulge in wasteful pastimes. And yet Life is just too short for us to neglect him, if even for a minute. Wallahualam. |
| Re: I am sick and tired...... |
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| solehah |
| 10/08/01 at 21:56:27 |
| Salaam Bro Ahmed [quote]But life is a jihaad! A struggle! and I'm actually happy that Allah swt is giving me the opportunity to prove myself. We are subjected to trials all throughout our lives...some harder than others, but if you are able to get through it than inshaAllah the reward will be so sweet:) The reward you will have in this world will be the fact that you are a stronger person, able to handle the trials that life brings you and the reward of the akhira, just imagine.....[/quote] Those are wise words indeed and Insya'ALlah, that thought will stay with you through all your hard times, Amin. Life is about perspectives sometimes. Here our Ramadhan days stretches for about 12 hours and you know what ? each time the day end, I feel sad because I feel as if I have not done enough for the day. The last day of Ramadhan is supposed to be a celebration of our victory but I always choke back tears of regret because to me I have let a holy month pass with so many things left undone and I dunno if I will ever see another Ramadhan again.. Life is indeed a struggle. I have had my fair share of the struggle. I am sure that I will face more struggles. What makes me look forward to a new day is the knowledge that ALlah has blessed me with the sweetness of faith and the knowledge that He is Merciful and will not forsake me in my times of nees, Amin. Peace for all mankind Wassalam. |
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