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Question
Sara
09/25/01 at 19:22:38
Assalam,

My grandmother just died today. Inshallah she's in Heaven.
My question is what are the things a person in grieving is not suppose to do. I know you're suppose to grieve for 4 months and can't go to weddings during that time period. What else? This is the 1st. time someone really,really close to me has died. And I have no idea what to do!!! Please help me by answering the question. Thank you.
Re: Question
meraj
09/25/01 at 20:26:32
slm,

inna lillahi wa inna illayhi rajiyoon :(

im sorry to hear of the loss of your grandmother sara... may Allah grant her jannah.. ameen.

Allahu'Alam.. i could be wrong, but im not sure about the greiving for 4 months part.. my grandmother passed away like 4 days before my sister's valima last year... after consulting a local 'Alim, he said it was ok to have the valima as planned.

i think by far the most important thing to do is to just make duaa.. spend tie with your family and those who loved your grandmother as much as you did... welcome people who come to visit you... if there is anythign that your grandmother has taught you, put it into practice so it will continue to bring her reward, as well as help you remember her always.

thats all i can think of.. i'll make duaa for you and your family in this difficult time inshallah.

take care... :)
Re: Question
jannah
09/25/01 at 21:05:57
[quote]I know you're suppose to grieve for 4 months and can't go to weddings during that time period. [/quote]

[slm] I think that's a cultural practice, not a mandatory Islamic thing.
Re: Question
Merimda
09/25/01 at 22:09:20
Salam,

Is not 4 months and 10 days only the case for a woman who has lost her husband and 3 days for everyone else?
Re: Question
BroHanif
09/26/01 at 04:09:38
May one above grant your grandma a lofty abode in Jannah.

4 months and 10 ten days for a husband,the term is called iddat and the woman stays in the house for that period of time.

3 for everyone else.

And u can go to weddings as long as they are Islamic :)

Re: Question
Mona
09/26/01 at 10:40:03
Assalamu alaikum Sara,

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji3oon.  Rahima Allah your grand-mother.

Insha'Allah, it is very good of you to give thought about what you can and can't do during period of morning.  I think the most important and benefecial things to do are:

1. make dua for your deceased grandmother

2. try to provide solace to your Mom or Dad who has lost a mother and needs love and support right now in any way you can provide

3. reflect on your life in general and try to put things in perspective knowing now that it (life) can be taken away it in a blink of an eye  -

Also, in time of morning, we are to avoid wailing or crying loudly because that actually hurts the deceased in his/her grave.  

Apart from that you are better off resuming daily activities, insha'Allah.

Wassalam


NS
Re: Question
amatullah
09/27/01 at 13:45:35
Bismillah and salam,
I think if htey are muslim you can read Quran for them.
I ask Allah to give you patience and "sulwan"
Re: Question
bhaloo
09/27/01 at 14:19:40
slm

I know we had this discussion before on here, if someone remembers the link for that thread please put it up.


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