is it time to smile yet?

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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

is it time to smile yet?
amatullah
09/27/01 at 23:25:27
Bismillah and salam


>here is something that just might make you smile:
>
>Doctor asks: What is the condition of the boy who swallowed the
>quarter?
>Nurse replies: No change yet!
>*
>Answering Machine Message at 1-800-PSYCH
>Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
>If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
>If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
>If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
>If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you
>want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
>If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will
>tell you which number to press.
>If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No
>one will answer.
>*
>
>Daily Affirmations for the Unstable
>
>I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of
>course, I want to stay employed.
>
>A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.
>
>As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my
>Inner Sociopath.
>
>I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels
>of suspicion and paranoia.
>
>Today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are
>no sweeter words than "I told you so."
>
>I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and
>complain.
>
>As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they
>reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
>
>I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that
>are someone else's fault.
>
>I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no
>personality at all.
>
>When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but
>not nearly as gratifying.
>
>The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do
>nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice
>things.
>
>As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.
>
>Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching
>TV.  Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.
>
>Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute... I'll
>find someone.
>
>Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it
>worrying about the future?
>
>I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can
>laugh at.
>
>I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to
>learn from them.
>
Re: is it time to smile yet?
Ziggy
09/30/01 at 07:11:33

[quote]




>Answering Machine Message at 1-800-PSYCH
>Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
>If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
>If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
>If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
>If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you
>want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
>If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will
>tell you which number to press.
>If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No
>one will answer.


[/quote]



LOL!! i love that one! :) :D

jazakallah khair for that! :)

ma'assalaama
zakira :-)


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