Meet the parents- Muslim style

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Meet the parents- Muslim style
flyboy_nz
10/01/01 at 23:54:45
salaam brothers (and the sisters who like to talk about *real stuff*),

I was just reading up on the questions to ask a prospective wife...and got thinking that there should be a question list for parents to ask the prospective son/daughter 'n law...hmm any of you seen 'Meet the Parents'?

Anyone got suggestions for good interrogation questions- 'muslim-style'?
Re: Meet the parents- Muslim style
Mahmoodah
10/02/01 at 04:17:08
salam,
i think parents should just stick to askin abt the basics:)
like......
do u pray 5 times a day
do u respect ur eldors, etc..., lol!!!
i dunno, where hav all the older lot gone. they should answear this1, lol

wa-salam:)
Re: Meet the parents- Muslim style
Haseeba
10/02/01 at 06:28:29
haha like a lie detector test? ;) lol

maybe..... j/k i think that would scare people right off
Re: Meet the parents- Muslim style
Kathy
10/02/01 at 08:38:30
slm
Ok- I am older- been thru a messy pre-questioning period.

After all the obvious deen related questions-

I would say "show me the papers!"
NS
Re: Meet the parents- Muslim style
BroHanif
10/02/01 at 10:43:56
After the deen questions I would ask
Has she got a passport ? Or is she from India/Pak land ?
Can she cook, and what can she cook ? no jam sandwiches don't want my son to get thin now.
Has he got his own 7 bedroom house ?
Has he got the latest car ?
Does he earn megabucks ?

Nah, seriously I think what parents want really is to know can s/he be willing to live as part of a family. Nowadays if both partners can work together and be happy then the in laws(parents) are happy.

So Bro when you getting married.? :) Mubarak !.
Re: Meet the parents- Muslim style
Arsalan
10/02/01 at 12:45:58
[slm]

Man, I can't even figure out what to ask for myself, let alone what I'm gonna ask for my son/daughter!
Re: Meet the parents- Muslim style
tq
10/02/01 at 13:01:37
Assalamo elikuim

I guess as Brother Haniff mentioned being part of the family,respectig elders (as the saying goes "Ba adab ba nasib" - may be some one translate it :) ) is very important.

I wouldnt worry about their eating right food :) - Inshallah I will teach my boys how to cook and also i wont mind cooking for them but I guess considering each other parents and family as their's is very important for me.



Wasalam
tq
Re: Meet the parents- Muslim style
Zara
10/03/01 at 09:27:02

[quote]Assalamo elikuim

I guess as Brother Haniff mentioned being part of the family,respectig elders (as the saying goes "Ba adab ba nasib" - may be some one translate it :) ) is very important.

I wouldnt worry about their eating right food :) - Inshallah I will teach my boys how to cook and also i wont mind cooking for them but I guess considering each other parents and family as their's is very important for me.



Wasalam
tq
[/quote]

Well I will try to translate that urdu proverb.  It basically means good manners leads to good fortune.

anyone else want to try and translate???

wlm

Zara
Re: Meet the parents- Muslim style
Mahmoodah
10/13/01 at 08:19:48
salam,
I dont really think alot of parents care what a girl/boy is like religion wise!  They loook at the parents religiousness!!!
Alot of the older ppl in this area just say...She/he can learn, after they get married!!!

They are very bothered about looks, caste, and whether or not the PARENTS r religious!!!!

soz, i just rote in something that irritates me!!!
Alot of parents do this mistake!  N they dont realise dat its imp 4 da actual person gettin married 2 b religious, not da parents!!!

wa-salam
Re: Meet the parents- Muslim style
Anik
10/26/01 at 14:48:08
asalaamu alaikum,

from what I've heard,

some questions are (and some apply to muslims and non-muslims alike):

1)your job/support system?
2) plans?
3) Islamic goals?
4) beliefs? (and this one IS important, because  even amongst muslims people disagree with details and so on)

5) way of life- daily rountine
6) family situation (are they wanting for you to marry?)
7) conditions of marriage( ie. won't marry another wife, or living separately etc.)

8) personal habits
9) did u meet with the prospective spouse (with mehram there?)
10) where will you live? is the place safe for my daughter? future children IA?
11) any previous marriages? any other current wives? (sounds wierd to modern society but hey)
12) propose the income sources( i.e will wife work?)
13) immigration for spouse/ further education?



What do you guys think? some of these questions we would just skip by, but i think they're all important. asalaamu alaikum. abdullah,.
Re: Meet the parents- Muslim style
Anik
11/03/01 at 02:00:21
asalaamu alaikum,

what happened, I posted and the thread died off :) lol. asalaamu alaikum. abdullah,.
Re: Meet the parents- Muslim style
flyboy_nz
11/03/01 at 04:49:48
asalaamu alaikum,

[quote]8) personal habits[/quote] hey thats pretty funny that number 8 is a smoking smiley.

those were some good questions br. Abdullah, tho I'd prefer to hook the person up to a lie detector test while answering them.  

okay heres some from me:
1- when was the last time you went to the mosque?
2- are your best friends muslim or non-muslim?
3- America or Osama?

the last one is optional ;)

wasalaam
-Ahmed
Re: Meet the parents- Muslim style
kareema
11/05/01 at 15:14:35
You should conversationally ask the person to describe their local Islamic community.Masjid,
MSA, other activities to see if the person is involved in their community. If they reply'What's a masjid?' then you know you have problems! This can also show you what type of Islamic person they are, by their associations and what events they participate in.All of these questions are nice and can be really helpful, assuming that the spouse is truthful and not simply pandering to your Islamist feelings.The way in which you ask questions should be such that it feels like they can and have to answer truthfully. There's no real way to talk about an Islamic community that you haven't been involved in for instance. I wish I had asked some of these questions before my engagement was ended!


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