Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Salam :) |
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| lightningatnite |
| 10/10/01 at 16:21:02 |
| Asalamualaikum wa rahmatallahi wa barakatu, When I logged in, the first thing that caught my eye was Arshad's post on "Cow Poetry", and man, I felt at home :) I really miss coming on the board and all the awesome people on here. I just hope you guys aren't mad at me for being such stranger. Anyway, I thought I'd share some journal entries of mine from time to time instead of trying to explain how Andalucia, Umrah, and Syria were all in one breath :) |
| "Makkah Bound" |
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| lightningatnite |
| 10/10/01 at 16:13:07 |
| December 24, 2000 "Makkah Bound" The present state of affairs in the world of technology allows for the physical heart, and body, to catapult through the air at speeds indeterminate. Yet here I sit, 35,000 ft above the Atlantic, Meccah bound, and am left dumbfounded by the inner travels, in a heart much more vast and vibrant. Much has changed, my Friend, since we last spoke, for the Gardens within me have begun to sprout. I long once more for that eternal home; I smell, ever so faintly, those rivers, that cool Resting Place where I once stayed. The Reality of the spiritual realm has once again found life in this pain-ridden heart, that is learning how to live all over again. The other night, in sleep, the shaitan came to me and asked me to trade the good things of the hereafter for the ones here. I said "No," and those two letters have resounded in the cavern of my heart ever since. I think back and smile, and thank Allah, and wonder what it means in the outer reality, how it changes things. And after that bad vision I saw, I tasted for one brief moment, a taste of Truth, of Light, of the reality of this world and what it is, and how it isn't so much reality. I stepped outside the box, outside of consciousness itself, and realized what all this pen and paper and love really was. I was free. Makkah bound I am, leaving my world behind me, leaving a former life. No, I'm not leaving. I'm going home. |
| "I feel comfortable" |
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| lightningatnite |
| 10/10/01 at 16:11:27 |
| December 26th, 2000 "I feel comfortable." The only words I could utter as I traversed the traffic jammed highway to Mecca. The pleasant air filled my lungs, and there existed something that calmed my heart, a calm I had not felt since the days of my golden youth. There is something about this land, something about the way the people talk, smile, do business. Iman, the country smells of Iman. And it warms me inside, in that place I haven't felt warmth in a long time. Everyone here is nice, every single one, even the police. It pervades, its in the air, how can one be mean? The world around me is full of kindness. Strange people hand me food. They jump at the opportunity to give me dates and water, even tea, to break my fast. On this journey to Makkah, I find a land as modern as my own, yet somehow embodying a more perfect society. All along the highways there are large street signs that say "Alhamdulillah, La illaha illallah, Allahu Akbar." It is a beautiful place, full of remembrance of Allah. It calms me somehow, as if I were approaching Jannah. Ah, this peacefulness I cannot describe, a joy deep in the heart, I cannot find it, it just cools me inside. The cool air, the cleanliness, the spirit, the beautiful spirit that fills the air and cleans you inside, washes away all the years of worldly dirt that has clung to my longing spirit. I shall not waste time in trying to describe the Haram Shareef, for its magnificence would destroy ink, pen, and paper in exploring its glories. |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| Mystic |
| 10/10/01 at 16:41:02 |
| Mashaallah!!!! That is soooo beautiful..can't wait to read more:) Thanks for sharing!!!! |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| bhaloo |
| 10/10/01 at 22:40:58 |
| slm Welcome back. :) So what happened on the 25th or is that a secret? ;) |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| Merimda |
| 10/12/01 at 00:03:23 |
| Salam, Masha-Allah..I yearn to go. Those were beautiful. ^_^ Can't wait for your next entries. |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| flyboy_nz |
| 10/10/01 at 23:31:07 |
| asalamu alaikum :) you're the second person to describe "the gardens within" have a look at sister Maliha's first post. Alhamdulillah! you describe Makkah so beautifully, it brings a tear to my eye...I really want to go! I can't wait to hear more:) -Ahmed |
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| Arsalan |
| 10/10/01 at 23:44:22 |
| [slm] Ahlan wa sahlan!!!! It's great to see you back br. lightningatnite. About time :) About cow poetry, you're right, some things never change :) Thank God, in this case ;) See you around bro, insha Allah. Keep up the good work. Wassalamu alaikum. |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| haaris |
| 10/11/01 at 09:02:02 |
| [slm] [quote]It's great to see you back br. lightningatnite. About time[/quote] Indeed it is. Indeed it is. Are you stepping in to keep up the family numbers in the Madinah? |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| lightningatnite |
| 10/11/01 at 11:43:49 |
| salam, [quote]So what happened on the 25th or is that a secret? [/quote] :) Arshad you're quite the detective, I don't know man, it all happened so fast, give me a break :) Ahmed, you have to go, its changed my life forever, and especially during Ramadhan if you can. Arsalan, the one Madina member who never gave up on me :) Thanks bro for staying in touch. Haaris, got to represent ;) Cow Poetry, subhanallah, there's a lot of talent on this board :) Thanks for the welcome back :) |
| "My pen trembles" |
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| lightningatnite |
| 10/11/01 at 11:50:48 |
| December 26, 2000. After Fajr. My pen trembles, for I cannot even begin, out of fear of failure at attempting to restrict to words what has been worlds for me. Oh that luminous beauty that my eyes beheld, that home whom I had been calling myself to, the house of Allah, it draws me. I run out from the hotel, drawn by its massive homing. It pulls at my heart, within my chest. Oh what a magnificent sight! What a glorious structure, how full of light, of Nur. I do not know what to say, save that outside I found thousands upon thousands bowing, I pushed forward, I must see within. Where is the heart of this most beautiful princess, this ruby in the desert, this object of my heart's affection? And within, millions bow, millions turn around the center of the universe, and I am left only to marvel at the beauty of the object before me. Layer upon layer of beauty, I approach. My eyes cannot behold what I see, for what I see is indeed beauty and glory itself, the heart of the universe. The Kaaba strikes me, seeing it within its precious enclosure, like a pearl within a shell, a mysterious beauty. I feel the mystic communication within. My eyes remain totally transfixed, having never seen such beauty. The glory of glorious voices echoes in the mosque, and outwards, and that happy peace raises her voice within me, her sun rises, and I raise my hands in prayer: Oh Allah, grant me good in this life, and good in the next, and save me from the Fire. Oh, this jewel of beauteous jewels, this heavely pearl, how you quiet me, and send me into mystery and peace. I have tasted Iman once more, deep, deep, like the true belief, when my heart was still. When I was a child, in love with my Lord, full of that inner serenity, before the world worried me. As if I were in India, when I was five, and had no fears, and just lived. I remember that coolness of my heart, of sitting, playing near a field, a beautiful simple field in India, close to Jannah, close to home. My true home, my home in the hereafter, where I did not cry, when I smiled within. I am in the palace of palaces once more, in a beautiful, peaceful place. I am not afraid to die, because I feel so close to my Lord, this ethereal mystic communication emmanates from my heart towards the Kaaba, it illuminates me, and quiets me. |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| Saleema |
| 10/11/01 at 14:19:05 |
| [slm] "Ligtningatnite bum by day..." hahaha.. remember that? ;) Where have you been? Are you here to stay or are you going to leave again? Take care and keep me in your duas. By the way did you ever make that dua for me at Kabba? [wlm] |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| lightningatnite |
| 10/15/01 at 21:17:21 |
| salam, hey, how do you do that cool 'asalamu alaikum' thing in Arabic??? !!? :) Saleema, you still remember that stupid poem ):( Dua, what dua? Oh, ahem, so...umm did you like my story, not bad for an engineer right... Arshad bhai, I miss San Diego man! hey maybe we can get together and go to that cool Persian restaurant sometime I know I know, I need to check out the rest of the Madina, but I'm still trying to remember how to use this thing :) |
| "Within" |
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| lightningatnite |
| 10/15/01 at 16:20:26 |
| December 26, 2000 "Within" I am at peace, alone, within peace itself. The outer vision: man, women, and child, circumambulating that pearl of pearls, above, below, under those arches of glory, gravitating around the center of the universe. That black ruby calls me from afar, this is where you belong, this is your home. This is what you've been longing for all your life. Life, that other life that seems so distant that I cannot even think of what it is, or was. What it was is no longer, for my heart loves it no more. Watching the blackest of African women, with their babies strapped to their backs, encircle the Kaaba burns that pure lamp within me, brings light and beauty to my eyes. Everywhere, children, mothers, happiness. Even the beggars are happy. They are near their Lord, and it enlivens them, makes them smile, cools that fire within, quiets the winds of desire, stills the turbulent ocean. The inner vision: I see angels gravitating around Allah's throne. I am reminded, no I am there, on the Day of Judgement. Voices call out all around me, to my left, right, I close my eyes and hear a confused melody, a chorus of prayers. Hundreds call out, thousands repeat, I cannot see from where, but out of the masses of people neither they nor I are in the crowd. We are lost, lost in the dunya, reaching for Akhira. A shrouded body is brought forward, and I cry, thinking about the one last journey that I shall never write about, I feel it close, so close to my heart. My spirit may soon leave me. These beautiful little birds dance across the morning sky and sing, yet I have never seen one clearly. They do not like to stop. I wonder if they are angels, or whether they contain the spirits of the righteous, whose only love is to attend to the house of God. I step back for a moment, for years, to take in the image of those who are happy with nothing in the world. I feel all my years of sin being lifted off of my shoulders, I feel pure, like when we were young chasing fireflies near the mosque, breathing that cool evening air. I never want to leave this land, my home. Something holds me, deep inside, it quiets all the noise, any sound within. The voices have left, and it is only me and my Lord who are left to speak. |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| meraj |
| 10/15/01 at 17:48:07 |
| slm, welcome aboard.. enjoy your stay inshallah :) - the welcoming wagon ;-D |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| Hania |
| 10/15/01 at 19:22:23 |
| Asalamualaikum wa rahmatallahi wa barakatu Ligtningatnite I've never had the opportunity to read any of your posts but I now I have I was so dumbfounded by the elegance and descriptions of the writings in your journal. You're a beautiful writer, what a wonderful talent mashAllah. Can't wait to read more on your beautiful jouneys. Hania :-) |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| Merimda |
| 10/15/01 at 22:34:01 |
[quote]Asalamualaikum wa rahmatallahi wa barakatu Ligtningatnite I've never had the opportunity to read any of your posts but I now I have I was so dumbfounded by the elegance and descriptions of the writings in your journal. You're a beautiful writer, what a wonderful talent mashAllah. Can't wait to read more on your beautiful jouneys. Hania :-) [/quote] Salam, Yeah, masha-Allah he's so eloquent. I wish I had that gift. ^_^ Salam, merimda |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| Kathy |
| 10/16/01 at 08:03:34 |
| slm Welcome back. If I recall you are the brother I lost a couple of nights sleep over... hmmm? |
| NS |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| Mystic |
| 10/22/01 at 17:23:21 |
| SUBHANNA ALLAH :-) :) ;) :-) |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| lightningatnite |
| 12/30/01 at 16:06:37 |
| Asalamualaikum :) How are you? :) Sorry I've been a stranger, hope y'all can please forgive me :) Kathy, I was hoping you forgot about that! :) Hania, I actually lack the ability to compose coherent sentances, hence the posts once every 3 months :) Merimda is the resident literary scholar, right ;) Mystic, have you ever read Rumi? Ok, may I share a few more things with you? Some friends are never far away, no matter where they go. You may meet them years later, and pick up your conversation where you left off when you last met. There's no other word for it, but 'closeness'. "Closeness" Oh Allah, Most Kind, shower us with Your beautiful blessings, and draw us near to You, for it is only with You that our hearts find peace. Beloved Friend, your words convey more than you think, for I feel what is in your heart--and for that words are most often useless. Yet Allah Most Kind has bridged the distance of earth put my heart right next to yours. As I read your words I paused, each moment realizing that the words you were uttering were actually mine! I too, had been a lost ship at sea, with no compass, praying, and then, of a sudden, it came. And I knew that He had heard my cries by night, and answered me. And I smiled, deep within, a happiness I never felt before. My heart expanded a thousand night skies, and I tasted the sweetness of closeness to my Lord, and I wished it would never stop. I knew, right away, that I must give in thanks all that I could, prayer, kindness to others. Allah has been kind to me, it was all I could say, and a calm peacefulness filled my being. Yet there is another level of sweetness, of Divine closeness, that perhaps we must strive for. It is the realization that every moment, every drop of rain, every leaf that drifts in the wind, is within the Hands of God. There is a crazyness, a loss of self that occurs when I realize that every key I press on this keyboard is in Allah's will, who knows every thought in my mind. Allah knows our inner thoughts, every one of them. He is closer than the blood that flows to our minds, that give us life, as He says in the Qur'an. Rumi tells the story of a great drought, where people where dying like fish out of water. But one man would only smile. The people asked, and he said "You look out, and see empty fields and hungry people. But I see green springtime leaves sprouting everywhere. I see water and beauty and life." The man saw Allah's Hands in world. It is in loss, perhaps, that people are closer to Allah than in richness. Allah is close to us, He hears us. But He draws closer to the slave who calls, very close, and like the lover who loves the voice of the beloved, He may remain silent only to hear the beautiful voice call again and again. A dog, howling all night longing for his owner, grows tired and sleeps in the morning, in peace. My dear Friend, I told you how I had lost my heart. I found it in Dimashq, that heaven on earth. I cannot express the beauties of the eyes, the delights of the heart that I experienced there. My every moment I long to return to that blessed land, whose streets are paved with spiritual gold. Whose people are like angels on earth, so simple and pure in their thoughts. The streets smell of jasmine flower, there is no crime or sadness. I couldn't imagine such a place exists on earth. Friend, you will find what you are searching for in Dimashq, I feel it my heart, its there, waiting for you. My blessed friend, brother of my heart, I pray that our Lord Most Kind draws us near to Him, under whose shade no one may ever feel a touch of sadness. I pray to the Lord of Peace, the Granter of Peace, the Source of Peace. Oh Allah, you are Peace. Give us Peace. Ameen. |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| lightningatnite |
| 12/30/01 at 15:52:37 |
| 12/27/00 "Channels Unseen" "In this are signs, for those who reflect." How is it that my Da'ud Yasin, teacher and beloved friend, chanced upon me? How did a pearl emerge from the sea and lay herself in my hands? Can it be, oh Friend destiny who by Allah's Grace has come, to steady my course? "The kufi," he said, "it looked familiar." Indeed hearts feed from each other, and communicate through channels unseen. Like a dream, the faces, the garb, the stoic African women, they are mysteriously beautiful. The hoards of children warm my heart, lovingly running to one's aid, to give you tissues or offer you some drink. The niqabi women draw my curiousity, covered head to toe, to fingertip in the blackest of black, traversing the passages of the Haram, pure, refined. No, I do not want to leave this beloved soil, it pains me even yet. I long for my return, though I have not left. I long for that tawwaf, with pilgrims to my right, my left, all around calling out to the Divine, and all I hear is a melody of angels searching, seeking, being close to their Lord, circling His earthly throne, calling out to His Majesty. Oh how blessed is this land! The home of the Prophet, the splendor of its customs, the kindness of its people. Oh, how greatly my heart yearns to stay here, at last resting in comfort, in the home it never had. Oh Land of Golden Jewels, how I miss you, while I hold you in my hand still. What use are eyes, that take but sips from the vast ocean that surrounds me. Feed, my dear heart, absorb that mystical presence, that communion-food that thou mayest never taste again. |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| Mystic |
| 12/31/01 at 00:35:20 |
| [slm] your words are so beautiful, tugging, into the deep recesses of a wayfarer's soul...Thank you for weaving our experiences into Divine tapestries...Keep writing, keep sharing, and May Allah continue blessing you and us all (Amin). Yeah, I love spiritual writings/poems of Rumi, Iqbal, and alike ;-D :):):) can't you tell how much they influence my own? ;) Maliha :-) [wlm] |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| Merimda |
| 12/31/01 at 15:16:27 |
| salam, literary scholar...haha..Yeah right.. I wish ^_^ Welcome back again..Masha-Allah that was beautiful.. Alhamudillah you have decided to continue..I thought you had forgotten..^_^ This is great for those who have never gone and will not go for Hajj (or Umra) this year..We at least get a glimpse of the experience.. which in itself is overwhelming.. I hope we do not have to wait another three months for the next part ^_^ Salam, merimda |
| Re: Salam :) |
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| lightningatnite |
| 01/02/02 at 21:36:22 |
| salam :) [quote]I thought you had forgotten..[/quote] No, I just needed time to make up mor....I mean internalize my own experiences ;) Thank you Merimda, Maliha for you kind words, but the beauty that you speak of is your own. Writing has a way of turning the minds eye inward, making us contemplate our own experiences and spirit, searching our souls. Like a deep reflecting pool, we look down and see the beauty that was with us all along, forgotten. salam :) |
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