I went to a wedding yesterday...

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I went to a wedding yesterday...
Rashid
11/03/01 at 19:52:24
[slm]

Weddings are awesome.  They bring out the best in people: everyone is dressed up, the food is excellent, you see friends you hadn't seen in a while...Since I was part of the security, I just sat back and observed the brothers.
The children, as long as they got a space to run around in, they're happy.  Yeah it gets annoying if they're yelling and screaming non-stop, but this is the fitrah, they're innocent.  I witnessed something odd:  One of the kids name is Usama, so imagine.  All the other ones were teasing him "you're usama bin laden!" and he's getting upset "I'm not bin laden!"  They continued like this until an older kid, maybe 8 or 9, goes "no, we're all usama bin laden" and they take off running and yelling "yeah!!!"
The young adults college age, they basically fall into two groups: the practicing and non-practicing.  Among those who don't practice Islam were what I call the models.  They're stylin in the finest suits, scoping the honeys, lookin right out of GQ.  Among those who practice were brothers from the Tabligh Jamaah, such nice pious brothers, they greet you with a salaam and a smile. Right away they come to us and launch into their talk about going out in the path of Allah.  We listen and make new friends.
The adults, they cluster with their cronies and talk of business, work, the kids, you know, the usual.  
The elders, they make dua before and after eating and they are extremely patient as they stand in line with zikr beads.  They don't make much conversation and prefer to sit in quiet contemplation.  

So basically this small local wedding serves as an example of the condition of brothers today:  Children growing up who soak up everything around them like a sponge, young brothers choosing what path they want to take in life, adults working hard to feed their families, and elders reflecting on their life and preparing to meet Allah.  I just wanted to share this with you since it was very inspiring.

[wlm]
Re: I went to a wedding yesterday...
kiwi25
11/03/01 at 21:56:48
salam,

its the same with sisters.....

wasalam
nouha:)
NS
Re: I went to a wedding yesterday...
flyboy_nz
11/03/01 at 22:42:20
[slm]

hey that got me laughing, thanks for that Br. Rashid :) weddings must be the same the world over.

wasalaam,
Ahmed
Re: I went to a wedding yesterday...
Mahmoodah
11/04/01 at 06:40:56
salam
thats just sooo true!lol
And abt da sistas, dats true aswell, but must of da practicin muslimahs dont attend da weddins, lol
coz theyre mostly full of flirts, lol

most of em just attend weddins of close family and friends, and other1z, they just dont bother with!

wa-salam
Re: I went to a wedding yesterday...
Ziggy
11/04/01 at 10:20:37
slm

soooo true! :D

personally...i don't like weddings...the only wedding i've ever liked was my uncle's...and thru half of that i was asleep!...i was only about 9... ;)

basically..the weddings i've recently gone to are ppls' whom i hardly know.. my parents' friends' daughters/sons etc..all we do is sit, eat, meet the bride...and go home...there ain't anyone we know... plus they bring back memories.. :(
and i HATE mixed weddings...mixed..where the men and women are not segregated....grrr...

speaking of weddings..i'm gonna go to one later in the evening, inshaAllah...and i don't know them!  :D

Peace
zakira :-)




Re: I went to a wedding yesterday...
nehar
11/04/01 at 19:44:06
[slm]

Once upon a time i used 2 love going 2 weddings, it was a place of socialising and getting 2 know others. it was somthing i used 2 look forward to.

But i dont feel the same any more as i feel weddings are supposed 2 b a religious ceremony and not a place where bollywood is the greatest influence.

I’ve been 2 a very few Islamic wedding as culture totally ruins it. I think the best wedding so far have been of mixed race weddings where culture had 2 b cut out.  4 an Islamic wedding a lot of organisation is required and its hard when many Asians follow culture rather than religion.

I went 2 a friends sisters wedding last year and it made me realise how wrong our Asian weddings are (not all asians, sorry 4 generalising. In this wedding there was a DJ, (they might as well go 2 a club)! I dont think many ppl relise how wrong it is to listen to  the music played, 4 one thing string instruments are haram and they r in most bollywood songs.  The lyrics of the songs drift us away from reality and cloud our brains, its the satans trap to take us away from Allah and make our iman weak.  I suppose music is just so natural to listen to in this world that we don’t realise how wrong it is. There is a hadith or an ayah in the quran which mentions music is the alcohol of the soul! Weddings are supposed to be a religious ceremony, but all this music and culture just blancs it out.

We forget the real meaning behind this holy ceremony. It’s a display of the bride and groom, which I personally think is more degrading than anything else as the bride shud not b a displayed 4 non mehrams.

When I watch videos of my cousins back home, it really disgusts me as they are so influenced by bollywood. They think they are the muslims as they live in a so called muslim country. But there is far to much culture in the weddings there.

plz dont get me wrong, im not saying they r bad- as its half the faith, but i am just sayin a veery few are done islamically 2day.  Many of us are still 2 influced by bollywood, not only do we freely mix but many sisters do not cover properly.

[wlm]

Nehar
Re: I went to a wedding yesterday...
Rashid
11/05/01 at 08:33:50
[slm]

This particular wedding was segregated, it's much better that way (less distractions if you know what I mean).  They simply put a partition in the middle of the hall so there was equal space for both.  There was no bride display, she just chilled with the sisters, the groom kicked it with us, and then at the end they went up to the little stage, signed the contracts and off they went.  
But I've also been to the mixed weddings and those tend to get out of control towards the end, when crews of bros and sis suddenly start walking back and forth in the hallways "accidentally" coming across each other.  Mashallah at this wedding there was none of that, so that's why I said I was inspired apart from the fact that brothers were on their best behavior, I was like "I want my wedding to be like this, no mixing, no flirting, no bride display"

[wlm]
Re: I went to a wedding yesterday...
haaris
11/06/01 at 09:22:31
[slm]

Okay, so maybe I'm just that little bit too English but you were a part of the security?  Security at a wedding?  Is this just a precautionary measure for these times or is this a regular role at weddings?

Just curious.
Re: I went to a wedding yesterday...
flyboy_nz
11/06/01 at 19:06:13
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the best wedding that I've been to was my cousin's one and that was mixed.  Everybody were seated at tables with their families and the whole event is so much more comfortable when you're sitting with your whole family...well it was for me anyway.  

We also had family come over from Canada, Australia and Fiji and my parents introduced me to all of them and I don't think i would have had the chance to meet them if it was segregated.

I contrast this to the segregated weddings that i go to... maaaan I wish the curtain they have down the middle of the hall is soundproof because when the ladies get together they just talk and talk and talk....the whole event turns into a marathon gossip session!  and because of that anyone giving a speach cannot be heard...the whole situation gets me really annoyed and angry which is not how you're supposed to feel at a wedding..... and you have to cross the partition at some stage to find the rest of the family when you're ready to go home... overall, I personally give the big curtain a big thumbs down...but thats just my opinion.

wasalaam,
Ahmed
Re: I went to a wedding yesterday...
Rashid
11/07/01 at 15:27:31
[slm]

[quote]Is this just a precautionary measure for these times[/quote]

Indeed it is.  After 9-11 the local masajid instituted a program where brothers volunteer to keep watch 24-7 (in shifts of course) It just so happened that the night that I volunteered there was a wedding.

[wlm]


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