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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board

Help!!! [I want to return to Islam!]
Anonymous
11/19/01 at 11:54:43
As Salaam Alaikum , Ramadan mubarak to all. I'm in need of help.  From any one especially those who have gone back to Islam.  How you did it and any advice you can give me. I'm trying my hardest to go back to Islam.  I've been astray for a while and I am only 21 and hope that now, being Ramadan is a better time and ever to accept what is greater than me.  However it is very hard, since I don't think I can become a Muslimah again because of what I have done in the past.  For the last couple of years I've had too many downs as a result of me stop praying, only going to mosque for Eid and not keeping up with the Quran. I suffer from depression and I fianlly noticed that all the bad things that have happened to me started when I stopped praying.  It is very hard because I am in college and have no Islamic support. I constanly have my faith tested and on many occasions had Christian friends try and convert me to Christianity.  On 11/16 I made a the decision to stop all my negativity and go back to Islam.  I am fasting.  Trying my best.  It is hard and I feel so lonely.  I don't have a mosque to go to or any muslims I feel comfortable to talk to.  But I don't want to give up.  It is going to be a big adjustment for me, my family and even bigger for my friends.  But I am ready and willing.  If anyone has any advice for me, I am all ears..

Re: Help!!! [I want to return to Islam!]
NewJehad
11/19/01 at 12:53:22
Firstly it is belief that makes you muslim. so what ever actions you have done or are doing other then the ones that take people out side of Islam, you are still muslim. If there are things that make ISlam hard for you such as your surroundings and friends, then change them. about feeling depressed and lonely, thats a toughy,i'll let some one else handle that one.

Re: Help!!! [I want to return to Islam!]
Mystic
11/19/01 at 15:08:07
[slm] I am not a sheikh or scholar...jus' a fellow struggler :-) here's a little of what my journey has taught me so far; Feeling depressed and lonely is simply a state your soul is in for the "moment". Emotions are the soul's voice speakers, and that's how we can hear "our selves". Alhamdullillah for the loneliness and depression that Allah's winds brought your way. Your essence is communicating a need to reconnect. To feel in touch with the Divine Being. Your struggle is normal... All of us go through rebellion at some point and turn new leafs. The transition point is one of the hardest points. Although believers are given Glad Tidings, Allah (S.W.T) tells us He will test the purity of our faith with fire too. Its part of the soul purification. Part of cleansing. -Read the Quran, its healing for the soul. -Be proactive...the more you are engaged in Ibadah, the less you are dwelling on a past that you can only learn from at this point. -There are some key Muslim scholars that have written on soul purification, research them out. The ones I have come across are Al Ghazali and Imam Zaid Shakir (translation of "Treaties for seekers of Guidance" ) -Learn the 99 attributes of Allah...This will clue you in to His essence (which your essence is a part of). And remind you to be more forgiving, kind, considerate, constant, etc etc. with those around you, but more importantly your own soul. My last bit of advice is take it all in stride. The more holistic and strategic you are the stronger you emerge...May Allah's infinite winds of Mercy, Love, Regeneration, Healing, and Prosperity continually downpour on His Ummah...(Amin) Takbir! Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar Wallillahil hamd. Allahumma Salli Wassallim Alla Muhammad, Wa'alla Alihi Wasahbihi Wassallim. [wlm]

Re: Help!!! [I want to return to Islam!]
Bintul-Khattab
11/19/01 at 16:22:10
Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu sis, Alhamdulillaah, the fact that u have made this conscious effort to decide to change is very encouraing, and the first step of the way inshaaAllaah....you mentioned your at college (university???)...well, one of the biggest influences a person has is his company and friends.  the first thing i would recommend you do is change your circle of friends..you mentioned you had chrsitian friends who were trying to convert you...obviously you must have invested a lot of effort trying to reftue them in their belefis etc..imagine if that circle of friends were muslim, you could have spent that same effort perhaps sharing islammic knowledge with them and improving each other, helping to better yourselves.  THere's a hadith in which the Prophet [saw] said something to the meaning of, if you go into a perfumry you come out smelling or perfume (whether you like it orn ot)...and if u go into an ironmongers you come out smelling of there...(can anyone post the proper text of it?)...so basically wherever you are you'll get influenced by your environment indirectly.  when i came back to Islam i was at college (as in, after high school, before university), and the main thing which brought me back to Islam and made me see its beauty was that i decided one Ramadhan that i guess i should at least start praying or what not.  so i went to the college prayer room, and met the sisters, and that was it subhaanAllaah.  i had a 'phobia' of sisters before, thinking they were so boring, didnt know how to have a laugh, were so serious and spoke about death all the time blah di blah....then when i met this bunch of sisters - man they were crazier than my former circle of friends!!! (imagine a bunch of hijabis sitting on the bonnet of a car while one sped the car round the college carpark and u'll see what i mean!) ;-D so we were able to have a laugh, but at the same time i knew they werent gonna turn around and start backbiting me and judging me etc...also, this particular bunch was so special, cuz none of them 'shoved' Islam down my throat..they never asked me why i wasnt wearing hijab, or not doing this or that, i didnt feel suffocated - i learnt the beauty of the deen from being around them, so that in the end i felt like the odd one out, cuz they were all that one step better than me etc.  i met them all over 6 years ago, and we've all gone our separate ways to uni etc, but we're still tight alhamdulillaah. :) um...yeah, i diverged a bit, but basically i just wanted to say that your friends are ur biggest influence, so i would suggest changing them as soon as u r able to for some good, sincere sisters who are also trying to better themselves in the deen. Wassalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu

Re: Help!!! [I want to return to Islam!]
BroHanif
11/19/01 at 17:29:50
AWW, [quote]I'm in need of help.  From any one especially those who have gone back to Islam.  How you did it and any advice you can give me.[/quote] Well it appears to me that you have already started to go back to Islam, you are taking your first steps in making a change for yourself, thats why you have posted your thoughts here. Seeking help and advice. I can tell you one thing for sure, nobody is an angel on this board we all had our ups and downs, and many of us still do. However, the  thing with our emotions is that they are like a rollercoaster and sometimes in life you have good times at others its bad. Yet if you can manage through the bad times by remembering Allah then you will be successful. [quote]However it is very hard, since I don't think I can become a Muslimah again because of what I have done in the past.[/quote] Taken from the Quran, AT TAUBAH (9:104) Know they not that Allah is He Who accepteth repentance from His bondmen and taketh the alms, and that Allah is He Who is the Relenting, the Merciful. Whatever you have done, insha-allah it will be forgiven by Allah. Allah is the lord for everyone. Allah is the most merciful, the most kind there is none like him. What is the Surah that we pray in our namaz every day  ? Surah Fatiah verse 3, Alrrahmani alrraheemi,The Beneficent, the Merciful. There are so  many verses in the quran that speak of Allahs mercy, by reading the Quran and the hadiths of the last prophet(saw), the rahmatul lil alameen(sent as a mercy for all mankind), indeed we will find that Allah is truly merciful and forgiving. Even if your sins reached the heavens, and you now turn to Allah in sincerity to ask for forgiveness, by Allah, he will forgive you. Commit a sin once and ask for forgiveness, Allah will forgive. Commit a sin again ask for forgiveness, Allah will forgive again. Commit a sin again and again and ask for forgiveness, and insha-allah Allah will forgive. So have hope sister, turn your attention to Allah, whatever condition you are in, raise your hands and ask Allahs forgiveness from your heart and indeed, insha-allah you will be forgiven. [quote]I suffer from depression[/quote] We all suffer from depression now and then, one way to get rid of depression is by glorifying Allah and staying away from sins. The best form of zikr is the kalimah, insha-allah if you start to pray it you will be lifted from your depression. [quote]It is very hard because I am in college and have no Islamic support.[/quote] Aren't there any muslim support people there, for example, muslim groups or sisters or brothers who you can talk to ? How about getting in touch with a college/mosque that does have Islamic support or links ? [quote]It is hard and I feel so lonely.[/quote] We all feel lonely and upset and find life very trialing, however it is only through these trials that we get jannah, that we raise our selfs and become better muslims. Allah is always there for you and indeed one day you will find people who you can relate to and talk to. Perhaps right now time feels very long but looking but upon it, in a couple of years, insha-allah you will have moved on to something better. I was once in situation like that, man I hated it. No real friends no nothing, just career. Allah be praised that is now in the past and I'm much better now. Another pointer is you can always register here and talk to the sisters. I'm sure they'll be able to help you and sometimes just talking to somebody can be of great help, insha-allah you won't feel lonely any more. We are one as muslims forming one sister/brotherhood, we support each other just like bricks support each other in the construction of a house. There are sisters and brothers on this board who may be in close proxmity to you and may be able to help you. There is one kitab I would recommend its called 'Purification of the body and soul' Its by Ahmed Bin Hanbal, Imam Ghajali and Ibne Jose. Its a collection of works and its very, very good. Anyway, must dash. I hope to Allah that he enlightens your heart and guides you towards success and whatever I have said may those good words affect me as well and the whole ummah.Ameen. Any faults are all mine. AL QASHASH (28:16) He said: My Lord! Lo! I have wronged my soul, so forgive me. Then He forgave him. Lo! He is the Forgiving, the Merciful. AZ-ZUMAR (39:53) Say: O My slaves who have been prodigal to their own hurt! Despair not of the mercy of Allah, Who forgiveth all sins. Lo! He is the Forgiving, the Merciful. Salaams Hanif

Re: Help!!! [I want to return to Islam!]
eleanor
11/20/01 at 06:11:48
slm Mash Allah there have been some very good answers so far so I just wanted to enforce Brother Hanif's point - join up here. For me, this is my Muslim community. I don't have any Muslim friends or Muslim family around me (apart from my husband) and this is where I check in - for asking questions, for answering questions, for having a laugh, for sharing someone's sorrow. Alhamdulillah for the Madina Message Board. I now have very good friends on this board. I have received books and tapes from some, I make phone calls with another (sister) and basically it's made me feel welcome in the Muslim world. Just join up here and Insha Allah you will receive the same warm welcome as I did. As a matter of fact, why wait till joining up?   :) Welcome to the Board!  :) There you go! See? You're home already! wasalaam eleanor :)

Re: Help!!! [I want to return to Islam!]
Mystic
11/20/01 at 08:18:43
[slm] Welcome aboard Jannah is cool Madinat Al-Muslimeen has been a sweet serenading place for my spirit :-) May you find the tranquility you are yearning for in the most beautiful delightful and unexpected of places... [wlm]

Re: Help!!! [I want to return to Islam!]
M.F.
11/21/01 at 10:01:01
Assalamu alaikum, Al hamdu lillah you've taken the first step towards Allah, and now He will take steps towards you.  Here's a hadeeth qudsi that I've always found very encouraging: "I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assemble better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed." And this one too: "O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness as nearly great at it"

Re: Help!!! [I want to return to Islam!]
Mary
11/22/01 at 23:35:58
As-salaamu alaikum,    Sister be strong.  You have taken that first step.  As I was reading your post, I thought so much of my own daughter.  She too is away at school and has found her self many times depressed.  She wonders why nothing ever seems to go right for her.  Her friends hurt her, school and work seem overwhelming.  Recently she ask me to send her some things she can read to get back to Islam.  One of the things I will send her is your post.  It will help her and I hope you to know that neither of you is alone.  Inshallah soon all will be better for both of you.
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