Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| Caraj |
| 11/22/01 at 19:38:23 |
| I was told if a woman coverts to Islam she cannot stay with her non Muslim husband (who she is already married to.) Is this true? If she chose to stay with him anyway and he supported her choice but did not convert himself is this against Islam? |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| Barraa |
| 11/22/01 at 20:47:36 |
| well i don't think you could. theres a verse in either surrat al-baqarah or surat al nuur. i dont remember but i think more that its in surat al baqarah do you have a non believer hus...or are you just asking? |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| Caraj |
| 11/22/01 at 20:52:21 |
| Barraa ... I am reading the Quran that a friend from Pakistan sent me. I was told by an friend in Eygpt if I converted I cannot stay married to my current husband. Would Allah want me to actually divorce a husband? My husband although not a Muslim is a kind and loving man and I know if I chose to convert he would support my choice. |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| amatullah |
| 11/22/01 at 20:56:03 |
| Bismillah and salam, I am pretty sure you can. I think i have read fatwas about this. The reasoning behind the scholars saying she may stay with her husband is that she is changing her whole life by embracing Islam and it may be too difficult and overwhelming to change it all at once. Besides, alot of the times the spouse are supportive because they see positive changes but they don't wish to convert yet, so they are a good support system. Another thing i remember reading that she has the obligation to do dawah to the spouse. IF the spouse is discouraging and is an obstacle in the way of her spiritual growth, or that she feels inside she cannot bear to live with someone who is a non-believer and the gap is growing too big between them, she should leave. Insha'Allah i will try to find you the fatwas. It might have been in Arabic though. |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| amatullah |
| 11/22/01 at 21:07:29 |
| Bismillah and salam, I got this so far, but it isn't what I read before :/ Does a new Muslim have to separate from his wife? *Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: www.fatwa-online.com, thankyou!* Question: Does a new Muslim have to separate from his wife if she doesn't accept Islaam? Should his children from her be considered as Muslims? Does he have to change their names to Muslim names? Response: It is permissible to stay married to her if she is a Jew or Christian, in accordance with the statement of Allaah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala): {And chaste women from among the people of the book (are lawful for you)"}, [Soorah al-Maa.idah, Aayah 5]. A chaste woman is one who does not have illicit sex, guarding thereby her own honour and that of her husband. However, if she is a Buddhist, Hindu or Raafidhee, he has no (Islaamic) right to stay married to her except if she accepts Islaam during he 'iddah, in which case the marriage remains valid. As for the children, they should follow the better of their two parents in religion, so if the mother accepts Islaam, but her husband refuses, they should follow her in religion. Likewise, if the father accepts Islaam, but the mother refuses, the children should follow the Muslim father. This rule applies to the children who have not reached maturity. After maturity, the choice is up to them, since they are responsible for themselves. They would not be considered as Muslims based on the Islaam of one of their parents until they accept Islaam themselves, like any other adult. As for changing the names of those who accept Islaam among them, or who are classified as Muslims in accordance with the Islaam of one of their parents, the issue is just like for adults, as has already been discussed. Shaykh Ibn Jibreen Fataawa Muhimmah lil-Muslim al-Jadeed - Page 44 |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| Marcie |
| 11/22/01 at 21:19:41 |
| Hi Cara, You really should ask a scholar this one. As far as I know and have read Muslim women can only be married to Muslim men, whereas Muslim men can be married to Jewish and Christian women. As salamu alaykum Marcie |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| Saleema |
| 11/22/01 at 21:49:23 |
| [slm] Cara, *DO NOT* listen to people on this board about wether you should/shouldn't, can/can't stay with your non muslim husband if you decide to convert. Talk to a Muslims scholar and get his opinion, because what may be good for someone else may not be so good for you. I really don't believe the issue is so black and white as some people make it out to be. Where's AbuKhaled?????? :) (He's one of the most resourseful people on the board on hard issues, but he rarely posts) anyway, here is a response from a sister in a somewhat similar situation. I encourage you to read this thread. :) AbuKhaled posted very thoughtful replies in a very good and humble manner. He doesn't shove his opinions, ideas or facts, down your throat... just read it and you will see. :) Here's the link: [url]http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl/YaBB.pl?board=sisters&action=display&num=1156&start=0[/url] |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| Kashif |
| 11/23/01 at 07:14:04 |
| assalaamu alaikum I don't mean to make the issue any more complicated than it already seems, but i'd like to reaffirm that the best thing to do is to seek the advice of an imam/scholar. But also, i think the q/a amatullah posted may not be appropriate because it deals with the conversion of a man and not a woman, and there may be a difference there. I do remember coming across a discussion on this about a year or two ago, if i can find the relevant postings i'll send them up here insha'Allah. Kashif Wa Salaam |
| NS |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| bhaloo |
| 11/23/01 at 09:27:10 |
| slm What sister Amatullah posted applies only to a man, and the proof of this is the ayah mentioned in her response, {And chaste women from among the people of the book (are lawful for you)"}, [Soorah al-Maa.idah, Aayah 5]. What you described Cara is a very delicate matter and you should ask a local Muslim scholar in your community and explain your situation to him. The situation you described is happening a lot. I know of a sister who mentioned to me of another woman who is ready to convert to Islam, and she is facing the same type of situation and is thinking about what to do. Insha'Allah they will see a shaikh in their community there. The best solution would be if your husband converted as well, and all of us here on the message board would be happy to help in this endeavor, insha'Allah (God willing). Here was one scholar's opinion, from islam-qa.com , BUT i recommend you see a scholar in your community that can advise you correctly according to your particular circumstances. Question: I know that Muslim women are not allowed in Islam to marry non-Muslim men; there is a sister on a converts list who recently became Muslim and who was asking what to do regarding her non-Muslim husband who accepted her conversion without any problems and who also lets her educate the children the Islamic way. However, when she asked for an advice, most of us told her that the husband has to take shahada or she should not remained married to him otherwise. Unfortunately, some other people don't believe so and advised her the opposite way, that she just should remain with the husband and so on,.... I would like you to send me concrete cases at the time of the Prophet (SAW) where Muslim women (sahabyate) would leave their non-Muslim husbands if those decided not to convert. I think those cases would be the only proof to convince the people of that list that Muslim women are not allowed to marry or remain married to non-Muslims men even though they are not against the woman's conversion. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. What you have said in your question about it being haraam for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir man is correct, and there is no doubt concerning that. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe” [al-Baqarah 2:221] Al-Qurtubi said: “ ‘And give not (your daughters) in marriage’ means, do not give Muslim women in marriage to Mushrik men. The ummah is agreed that a Mushrik should not marry a Muslim woman because this is like putting Islam in an inferior position. (Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 3/72). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them” [al-Mumtahanah 60:10] Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Chapter: when a mushrik or Christian woman who is married to a dhimmi (non-Muslim living under Muslim rule) or a harbi (non-Muslim belonging to a people who are hostile towards Islam) becomes Muslim. ‘Abd al-Waarith said, narrating from Khaalid from ‘Ikrimah from Ibn ‘Abbaas: if a Christian woman becomes Muslim shortly before her husband, she is forbidden for him… Mujaahid said: if he becomes Muslim during the ‘iddah [waiting period following divorce], then he may (re)marry her. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them” [al-Mumtahanah 60:10]. Al-Hasan and Qutaadah said concerning two Magians who became Muslim that their marriage was still valid. If one of them had become Muslim and the other had refused, the woman would have been divorced and he would no longer have any rights over her. (Saheeh al-Bukhaari. See al-Fath, 9/421). Examples of such women include: Zaynab, the daughter of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). She was married to Abu’l-‘Aas ibn al-Rabee’ during the Jaahiliyyah, but when she became Muslim, their marriage was annulled, and she went and stayed with her father (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When her husband became Muslim, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent her back to him. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1143; Abu Dawood, 2240; Ibn Maajah, 2009; classed as saheeh by Imaam Ahmad, 1789. Al-Tirmidhi said, there is nothing wrong with its isnaad). The correct view is that the husband can go back to her with no need to renew the marriage contract. If the woman is still in her ‘iddah, he has more right (than anyone else) to marry her. If her ‘iddah has ended, she is free to choose whether to go back to him or not. Al-Tirmidhi said: On the basis of this hadeeth, the scholars said that if a woman becomes Muslim before her husband, then her husband becomes Muslim whilst she is still in her ‘iddah, then the husband has more right to her whilst she is still in her ‘iddah. This is the view of Maalik ibn Anas, al-Oozaa’i, al-Shaafa’i, Ahmad and Ishaaq. (Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadeeth 1142). Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: There is no dispute among the scholars concerning the fact that if a kaafir woman becomes Muslim then her ‘iddah ends, her husband has no rights concerning her if he has not become Muslim during her ‘iddah. (Al-Tamheed, 12/23). Ibn al-Qayyim said: But what the ruling of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) indicates is that the marriage comes to a halt. If he becomes Muslim before the end of her ‘iddah, then she is (still) his wife, but if her ‘iddah ends, then she may marry whomever she wants. If she likes, she can wait for him, and if he becomes Muslim she is his wife and there is no need to renew the marriage contract. (Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/137, 138) Al-Qurtubi said: Talhah ibn ‘Ubayd-Allaah was married to Arwaa bint Rabee’ah ibn al-Haarith ibn ‘Abd al-Muttalib. They were separated by Islam, then in Islam Khaalid ibn Sa’eed ibn al-‘Aas married her. She was one of the [Muslim] wives of the kuffaar who fled to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) kept her in Madinah and married her to Khaalid. (Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 18/65, 66) It was reported that Anas said: Abu Talhah married Umm Sulaym and the mahr between them was Islam. Umm Sulaym became Muslim before Abu Talhah. He proposed marriage to her and she said, “I have become Muslim. If you become Muslim I will marry you.” So he became Muslim and that was the mahr between them. (Narrated by al-Nasaa’i, 3340) The daughter of al-Waleed ibn al-Magheerah, the wife of Safwaan ibn Umayyah, became Muslim before him, and the marriage was annulled. Then he became Muslim later on, and she went back to him. It was narrated by Maalik in al-Muwatta’, 1132. Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: I do not know of any unbroken saheeh isnaad for this hadeeth, but it is famous and well known to the scholars of seerah, Ibn Shihaab, the leader of the scholars of seerah, and al-Shu’bi. The fame of this hadeeth is stronger than its isnaad in sha Allaah. (al-Tamheed, 12/19) Umm Hakeem bint al-Haarith ibn Hishaam, the wife of ‘Ikrimah ibn Abi Jahl. Her marriage was annulled, then he became Muslim during her ‘iddah, so she went back to her husband. (Narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah in al-Musannaf, 4/107) And Allaah knows best. |
| NS |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| Merimda |
| 11/24/01 at 00:25:24 |
| Salam, I obviously cannot answer your question..but I can suggest something..One of the most remarkable Mercies from Allah for me personally is the Istikhara prayer. The Istikhara prayer is a supplication for seeking guidance in forming a decision or choosing the proper course.. The supplication is as follows: O Allah , I seek Your counsel by Your knowledge and by Your power I seek strength and I ask You from Your immense favour, for verily You are able while I am not and verily You know while I do not and You are the Knower of the unseen. O Allah, if You know this affair-(and here you mention your need)-to be good for me in relation to my religion, my life, and end, then decree and facilitate it for me, and bless me with it, and if You know this affair to be ill for me towards my religion, my life, and my end then remove it from me and remove me from it, and decree for me what is good wherever it be and make me satisfied with such. Allah willing if you make this supplication with a sincere heart and consult those with wisdom as to what course you should take then Allah willing you will embark on the right course. Hope this helps.. Salam, merimda |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| Anonymous |
| 11/27/01 at 22:37:58 |
| Asalamalaikum, I was listening to a Hamza Yusuf tape the other day where he was talking about a woman who had converted to Islam but couldn't go through with divorcing her non-muslim husband and he said basically if it was a question of her either remaining muslim and still being married to him which is classed as adultery or being a kafir and still being married to him then the former has to be better than being a kafir - and Allh(swt) knows best and may he guide you and your husband to the straight path(ameen). p.s. I am not advocating any course of action as I dont have enough knowledge, just telling what I heard, I can get the name of the tape etc if anyone wants to check it out. It would be best to speak to scholar personally, if you dont now anyone maybe someone on this board who lives closest to you could put you in touch with someone. |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| Mystic |
| 11/29/01 at 10:55:06 |
| [slm] It is a painful experience for a Muslim woman to deal with integration of a Non Muslim man into a nicely *Islamic* balanced household. I haven't read the other posts to come to this conclusion...but I can say from what I have witnessed, I would advice the lady to pack up her bags and jus' leave before things get any more distressful for her. Wa Allahu A'alam... peace out. [wlm] |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| amatullah |
| 11/30/01 at 19:41:19 |
| Bismillah and salam Something I received: Bismillah. Assalamu 'alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu. Dear Muslim, The answer that you gave to the non-muslim woman about being able to stay with her non-muslim husband if she accepts Islam is incorrect. If when she embraces Islam, he refused to become muslim, then there marriage is annuled, and she may not stay with him. However, she may wait out the 'iddah period (3 menstrual cycles),and if within that time he embraces Islam, she may go back to him, and their marraige contract is still valid. However, if he does not accept Islam within that time, then their marriage is invalid, and she is no longer married to him. If he later on accepts Islam, then a new Islamic marriage contract may me made, and they may remarry.And Allah (swt) knows best. May Allah (swt) reward you for attempting to give nasiha. We need to be careful when giving advice to people and speaking in the name of Islam. We may very well give out the wrong iformation, and Allah (swt) may hold us accountable for what we have said about His Religion. And Allah (swt) knows best. May Allah (swt) forgive us our shortcoming and misdeeds, and keep us on His (awj) Straight Path always. Ameen. Subhanakallahumma wa bihamdik, ashhadu an la illaha illa Anta, wa astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilaik. Wa 'alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu. P.S. I have added a fatwa concerning this from www.islam-qa.com. Wa 'alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu. * |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| Caraj |
| 12/06/01 at 02:13:46 |
| ok, here is a different way of asking, If I convert and remained married to my husband no matter if he converted or not what can happen? Are you not going to heaven/paradise? Are you condemed forever? |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| momineqbal |
| 12/06/01 at 02:53:08 |
| Dear Cara, I don't think any muslim will tell you the answer to your last question. As muslims we do not believe that it is our dominion to judge wether a person goes to paradise or hell, this is strictly Allah's dominion, not even a Prophet can say anythinig on this unless given a particular knowledge from Allah. At the same time, if someone is a muslim, all muslims hope for the best for that muslim (which means that we hope they will be saved from the hellfire) and pray for him/her, even if the muslim in question was a sinful or weak muslim. My suggestion is you should try reading some of the accounts of early muslims and indeed many of them were in such a position, but they realised that what they coveted in this world is temporary, while what is with Allah is everlasting. Another angle I think is that why do you think your husband will not accept the truth of Islam if presented in a beautiful way? Try and locate an Imam or a scholar in your area and get yourself and your husband to talk to him. If a person is sincere then it will inshaAllah be easy to accept that: a)There is but just one God and thus He alone should be worshipped. b)Muhammd (pbuh) who brought this message to us is a messenger from Allah and the last of Prophets who all came with the same message. (so accepting him means confirming all the previous Prophets of God). One other way to present Islam to your husband could be to ask him what are his apprehensions/objections about Islam and then go about answering them in a beautiful and compassionate way. InshaAllah things will workout for you. Take care! |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| Kashif |
| 12/06/01 at 06:11:17 |
| Nope Cara. There is only one sin that would condemn a person to never enter Paradise, and that is to associate others with Allah in worship. Allah forgiveth not that partners should be set up with Him; but He forgiveth anything else, to whom He pleaseth; to set up partners with Allah is to devise a sin Most heinous indeed. Qur'an 4:48 Kashif Wa Salaam |
| NS |
| Re: If a woman coverts can she stay with her non Muslim husband? |
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| widad |
| 12/09/01 at 05:08:08 |
| Assalamu alykum warahamatullahi wabarakatuh If you do stay with him after you are a muslim,you would be living in adultery,as the marriage is annulled because of your Islam.However if he does love you enough,leaving him,would be a great cause for him to pursue more knowledge about Islam and thus you would have helped him put his foot on the right path. I have a friend who was married to a man who said shahada (not really beleiving in islam ,but to marry her)she lived in happiness for two years ,but when she found out she was living in sin(adultery)she opted to save herself and alhamdulillah now she is married to this wonderful man and has a beautiful baby boy,also her attitude changed and everything abiout her changed from the beauty of faith mashalah. **Ask Allah to guide and helpyou: "Allahumma arinee alhaqa haqan warzuqny -ittiba3uh,wa arini albatila batilan warzuqni-ijtinabuh" {O Allah show me the Truth as Truth and help me stay with it and show me the wrong as wrong and give me the will to keep away from it.} |
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