Death, Graves and Homeland

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Death, Graves and Homeland
Kathy
11/23/01 at 22:03:19
slm

A Muslim friend of mine's husband is dying. His mind is no longer sharp. She is confused to his dying wishes.

Should she take him to die overseas and bury him there? At one time he wanted to, but she is not sure- but isn't there a hadith about being buried where you live?

We do have a Muslim Cemetery here but in the past our community has argued over the deen of every "questionable" soul. It has been  a nightmare.

Please help.
Re: Death, Graves and Homeland
Marcie
11/25/01 at 12:09:39
As salamu alaykum Kathy,

To be honest I can't really answer you question, but there are some things that your friend might think about.

1.  Finances:  Can she afford sending him home?  It is very expensive.
2.  Do they have children?  It might be that he wanted to be sent home, because people would visit the gravesite and pray for him and that might not happen over here if she is the only remaining surviver and she passes away.
3.  When my Uncle passed away my aunt visited the gravesite everyday for about 2 years.  How would this sister feel if she is not able to visit the gravesite?

Insha'Allah may Allah (swt) lighten this sister's burden and and strengthen her faith.

As salamu alaykum
Marcie
Re: Death, Graves and Homeland
ZainAlAabideen
11/26/01 at 07:25:39
Wa Alaykuma Salam Wa Rahmatullah,

It is the sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saw) and His Companions to be buried at the place of death. (i.e. Prophet (saw) = Madinah, Sayyidina Abu Bakr (ra) = Madinah, Sayyidina Ali (ra) = Iraq......)

And yes, there is a hadith that states that you should be buried where you die. The Messenger of Allah (saw) told us not to delay the burial of the deceased, for if they were sinful you are holding them back from their punishment in the grave, and if they were righteous then you are holding them back from Allah's mercy and bounty.

And Allah Knows Best.
Re: Death, Graves and Homeland
Kathy
11/26/01 at 10:20:10
slm

Praying over the grave is beneficial?- does it have to be at the gravesite?

Also he is not dead yet- she is wondering if there is any sound reasoning- hadith,sunnah, to risk her loosing her company ( wonder if it takes a long time for death)and life savings to move him over there- especially if she does not know if he wants her to.
Re: Death, Graves and Homeland
Marcie
11/26/01 at 18:33:03
As salamu alaykum Kathy,

Depending on the School of Thought you can go to the grave and recite Quran.  This is from Fiqh us-Sunnah
"The jurists differ concerning the legality of reciting the Quran by the graveside.  Ash-Shafi'i and Muhammad bin Al-Hassan consider it desirable, because by it, the deceased might be blessed.  Al-Qadi 'Iyad and scholars of the Maliki school agree with them on this point.  Ahmad holds that there is nothing wrong in reciting the Quran at the grave, whereas Malik and Abu Hanifah view this as not desirable because the Sunnah does not mention this practice."

I was actually taught this when I was in Morocco, although most Moroccans are Maliki


Yes, I realize that the brother is still with us, but I would take these things into consideration if I had to make the decision.  Allah Alim

As salmu alaykum
Marcie
Re: Death, Graves and Homeland
Mystic
11/28/01 at 11:08:06
[slm]
it may be smarter, safer, and more convenient to jus bury the dead where the death occured.
its also more convenient...
Inna Lillahi Wainna Illaihi Rajiun.

Alhamdullillah :-)

[wlm]
Re: Death, Graves and Homeland
Kathy
01/08/02 at 21:44:34
slm

He died today and will be buried in NY.

Makes you think. I am sure when he was in his twenties he never would have thought he would die in America.

Inna Lillahi Wainna Illaihi Rajiun.

NS
Re: Death, Graves and Homeland
gift
01/09/02 at 07:36:47
[slm]

i'm so sorry kathy :(  

inna lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raajiuun

[wlm]
Re: Death, Graves and Homeland
Hajreee
01/09/02 at 14:29:28
Salaams

*Allah Yarhumhu* "Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilaihi Raje'3oon"
Re: Death, Graves and Homeland
BroHanif
01/09/02 at 15:25:17
May Allah make his death a reminder for us all,
From Allah we Allah and to Allah we will return.
Re: Death, Graves and Homeland
explorer
01/09/02 at 18:17:31
[slm]
Kathy my deepest condolences for the loss of your friends husband. While it differs as to whether women can visit the grave, she isn't allowed to the burial.

Death really opens your eyes. And going to a burial shakes ones soul. I've always wondered why women aren't allowed to burials but read that due to them more emotional it creates fitnah and disturbs the peace in the graveyard.

I went to a burial in Ramadan for the first time and believe me I cannot find the words to explain how I felt. My brother and I just stood there staring into the grave, it was like over 7ft deep with a huge pile of mud next to it waiting to be shovelled over. It scares you that one day we all will meet this fate. Everything we have, our worldy possesions are left behind and we end up there all alone.
While that burial was going on, 2 african muslims walked by us carrying a coffin the size of a shoe box to another grave. At first I thought oh God that baby is going under all that mud, but it just showed that no matter old or young we are, materially our final destination in this world is under all that earth and it down to us to prepare oursleves to meet the Angels who question us and ultimately the bazarkh.
Re: Death, Graves and Homeland
Hajreee
01/10/02 at 15:59:15
Salaams

Bro Hanif, i think you made a mistake in your ayah...you might want to modify it...you said Allah twice, where one should be 'belong' :)
Re: Death, Graves and Homeland
Kathy
01/14/02 at 08:57:32
slm

Last night I got a call from a Sister who i knew in Chicago.
Her mother died- in September- and she is just telling me now!

She has closed herself off- moved to an isolated spot in Indiana- from our conversation- I could tell that her Islam ( she has been Muslim for 15 plus years) is in serious jeapordy.

She is older than me and never married. She was her mother's caretaker and her mother died while the sister took a well deserved break and went to the Islamic convention.

She is really slipping. Blaming Allah swt, herself, I asked how her Ramadan was and she said she didn't bother.

Does ayone have any advice, duas for her- and me?
NS
Re: Death, Graves and Homeland
Marcie
01/19/02 at 13:04:56
As salamu alaykum Kathy,

I don't have any duas for you.  I was just thinking that you should try to get the sister to see that it was actually a blessing from Allah (swt) that she was not there when her mother died.  She was so close to her mother that this might have been impossible for her to bear.

Allahu alim.  I don't have any answers for you, but insha'Allah the sister will come to terms with this lose in her life and not feel guilty for not being there.  Allah (swt) watches over us and only places burdens on us that we can bear.

As salamu alaykum
Marcie


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