Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
| Birth Order Characteristics |
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| Hania |
| 11/27/01 at 10:39:23 |
| slm Maybe this is completely all a myth and birth order has nothing to do with the personality of a person but I thought it was kind of weird how mine was so accurate! :) [color=Red][i]THE ONLY CHILD[/color][/i] Traits include:- Within most societies the myth of the spoilt only child is prevalent. However there is increasing research that suggests that the reality is somewhat different. The traits associated with eldest children also seem to often apply to only children. Tend to be high achievers Close relationships with parents Less anxious Good self control Tend to mature and show many leadership skills Characteristic bad feeling: frustration Strategies for survival: imaginary companions, two speeds (fast and slow) for doing things Felt loss: freedom Sense of justice: Everyone should be treated equally Thought pattern: organization T-shirt: "Leave me alone, I'd rather do it myself" Childhood behavior: emotional, obedient Emotional expression: demonstrative, tantrums Source of anger: intrusion Nature of humor: sarcasm Means of relating: projection Spirituality: Ethical Relational: feels others' feelings, fixer of problems The child within: smothered Type of procrastination: put off big jobs while doing little jobs Blind spot: what others think/feel Boundaries: Has them for self and others A walk in the woods: stays on the path Careers: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, management Strengths: organizing, stability Parenting: allows children time and space Marriage: tries to meet partner's expectations As friend: emotional, considerate Social contributions: organizational leadership, authors of self-help books Expression of love: worry Driving style: as if everyone is going to do the right thing Listening style: puts own meaning into others' words Common phrase: "You know" Responds to: "I don't know about you but...." [color=Red][i]Eldest Child[/i][/color] Traits include: More adult orientated More self-confident Studious, conscientious and serious Excel in academic and professional achievements May be conservative Perfectionist Often link/go-between parents and siblings Sense of justice: people should get what they deserve Thought pattern: research T-shirt: "I don't know, what do you think?" Nature of humor: teasing Means of relating: placating Spirituality: relational Relational: fears others may be offended, placater The child within: abandoned Type of procrastination: dreaming instead of doing Blind spot: own thoughts, feelings, desires Boundaries: others have absolute boundaries A walk in the woods: plunges into the woods pursuing distant goal Career: business, research, counseling, promotion, speaking Strengths: goal-setting, compromise, leadership Parenting: directs children toward goals Marriage: goes along with what partner wants As friend: compromising, serving Social contributions: discoveries, information, dreams Expression of love: agreement Driving style: as if everyone is out to get him or her Common phrase: "I don't know" Responds to: "You may not agree with this, but...." [color=Red][i]Middle Child[/color][/i] Traits include:- May develop skills as a compromiser and negotiator Can be the rebel against the family's values Will often have many friends, and be an effective team player Reticent, but dreams of being catapulted to greatness May be creative and open to new and innovative ideas The second born loses attention as the first born aggressively takes it away, leaving the second child to feel as if he or she cannot do anything well enough to merit attention. Characteristic bad feeling: inadequacy Strategies for survival: perfectionism, logic Felt loss: emotions Sense of justice: necessity Thought pattern: evaluation T-shirt: "That won't work, it's not good enough" Childhood behavior: deceptive, critical Emotional expression: controlled, intense Source of anger: criticism Nature of humor: dry Means of relating: correction Spirituality: self-discipline, living by rules Relational: sensitive to others' anger, peacemaker The child within: neglected Type of procrastination: put things off till they can be done perfectly Blind spot: others' emotions Boundaries: defined by rules A walk in the woods: watches ground around the feet, may go around in circles Careers: accounting, banking, art, carpentry, decorating, receptionist, secretary, teaching, writing novels Strengths: self-discipline, honesty, determination Parenting: insists of obedience to the rules Marriage: puts spouse, family ahead of self As friend: offers constructive criticism Social contributions: art, financial institutions, completed projects Expression of love: constructive criticism Driving style: drives angrily because others do not follow the rules Listening style: listens for mistakes Common phrase: "You need to...." Responds to: "This may not be perfect, but...." [color=Red][i]Youngest Child[/color][/i] Traits include:- Compelled to make a contribution to the world A show-off who enjoys the limelight Both a charmer and a rebel - endearing one minute, hard to deal with the next Creative Affectionate Characteristic bad feeling: vulnerability Strategies for survival: being strong, attacking Felt loss: protection Sense of justice: there is no justice, victims must be rescued Thought pattern: comparison T-shirt: "No problem, it doesn't bother me any" Childhood behavior: rebellious, helpful Emotional expression: sympathy, attack Source of anger: putdowns Nature of humor: putdowns Means of relating: rescue Spirituality: devotional, strength through prayer Relational: pleaser, sensitive to others' wants/needs The child within: wounded Type of procrastination: puts off tasks to pursue more interesting projects Blind spot: cooperation Boundaries: none for self A walk in the woods: only goes in the woods to help others Careers: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, animal trainer, child care Strengths: compassion, practicality, creativity Parenting: protective, nurturing Marriage: wants to please spouse and children As friend: often has only one close friend Social contributions: inventions, poetry, inspiration Expression of love: pleasing others Driving style: fearful or fearless Listening style: listens for what lies behind the words Common phrase: "No problem" Responds to: "Please" |
| Re: Birth Order Characteristics |
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| Kashif |
| 11/27/01 at 11:40:42 |
| My, how accurate! [at least in my case] |
| NS |
| Re: Birth Order Characteristics |
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| Mystic |
| 11/27/01 at 12:54:18 |
| [slm] mine makes sense...it amazes me how they actually come to these conclusions... Interesting stuff. Maliha [wlm] |
| Re: Birth Order Characteristics |
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| M.F. |
| 11/27/01 at 15:12:25 |
| Assalamu alaikum, Hmm, pretty close. The were wrong about me being the researching type (Eldest) but they were definitely right about a lot of things, like being the go-between for parents and sibs. and about being placating, and being afraid other will be offended, sense of justice...following hubby ;) definitely. the rest is all true! and for my sis, who's youngest; the part about being strong and attacking is also totally true. wow! where did you get this stuff? |
| Re: Birth Order Characteristics |
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| kiwi25 |
| 11/28/01 at 00:36:13 |
| salam, subhannalah! my was very close! except im not married so im not going with what my partner said at the moment :) i read the middle child and young child and they seem to fit my brothers too! wasalam nouha:) |
| Re: Birth Order Characteristics |
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| Saleema |
| 11/28/01 at 01:22:01 |
| [slm] Mine's perfect match [wlm] |
| Re: Birth Order Characteristics |
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| Mystic |
| 11/28/01 at 05:45:38 |
| [slm] Being a middle child is hard work y'all ;) :):):):) :-) Maliha [wlm] |
| Re: Birth Order Characteristics |
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| Mona |
| 11/28/01 at 10:09:31 |
| assalamu alaikum, I think this whole thing is hocus-pocus. How is it different from charecterizing personalities based on positions of the stars and planets on the date of birth (i.e., horoscopes)? I'd like to think that human nature is too complex and dynamic to be lumped in so few categories. Sorry to ruin the fun of it for some of you - but it ain't true. And oh, was that the middle-child in me talking ? :P wassalam |
| Re: Birth Order Characteristics |
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| Mystic |
| 11/28/01 at 11:12:17 |
| [slm] Interesting Mona:):):) I never looked at it at that way...i guess its easy to get side tracked and distracted by the "flow" of people. Thanks for the tip!!! :-) Maliha [wlm] |
| Re: Birth Order Characteristics |
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| BrKhalid |
| 11/28/01 at 12:00:22 |
| Asalaamu Alaikum ;-) After Sr Mona's contribution, I decided to do a bit of investigating and found the following example: The Only Child Marriage: tries to meet partner's expectations Eldest Child Marriage: goes along with what partner wants Middle Child Marriage: puts spouse, family ahead of self Youngest Child Marriage: wants to please spouse and children Seems a touch wishy washy to me if not indeed a full blown hoaxarama ;-) PS I think we should close nominations on the Madina Sceptic Award ;-) |
| Re: Birth Order Characteristics |
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| BroHanif |
| 11/28/01 at 12:53:46 |
| AWW, Only child Driving style: as if everyone is going to do the right thing Eldest Child Driving style: as if everyone is out to get him or her Middle Child Driving style: drives angrily because others do not follow the rules Youngest Child Driving style: fearful or fearless Look at the careers as well....very similiar... Hmm, seems a few changing of the words and everyones a maniac behind the wheel, or is this only meant for ladies. |
| Re: Birth Order Characteristics |
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| Hania |
| 11/28/01 at 13:12:09 |
| The Birth Order Characteristics are supposed to have been studied in lots of psychology research groups. Lots of guys and gals with PhD's have written books on it, but many people have been saying that the Birth Order Theory is a myth.................da da da! |
| Re: Birth Order Characteristics |
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| Arsalan |
| 11/29/01 at 00:47:09 |
| [slm] If you really wanna test this, try and see how well you match up with the other categories (for example, if you're the eldest child, try to see how you match up with the descriptions of the middle child, the youngest child and the only child). If you find that they *all* seem to describe you pretty well, then this thing obviously doesn't make too much sense. |
| Re: Birth Order Characteristics |
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| M.F. |
| 11/29/01 at 07:16:36 |
| Assalamu alaikum Of course you can't just group everyone into general categories. However, from the study of many many cases, one can begin to make generalizations. Characterisitcs because of birth order are not as random as saying something happens because of the position of the stars. Birth order does a lot to your relationship with your parents. If you're a first child for example, you had a lot of attention, and then someone was born after you which might have created a lot of jealousy, and at the same time you were the one asked to become mommy's helper for this new person in her life and all of a sudden you weren't getting as much attention and there's all these mixed feelings etc etc. (none of this explains those particular characteristics but i'm just trying to show how birth order gives different feelings which mold into personality traits). Anyways, to take it further, your relationship with your parents and sibs and what your personality becomes because of it stays with you for the rest of your life, and thus affects your relationship with your spouse as well. does that make ANY sense at all???? :-) mariam in case you're wondering, yes, I DID major in psych. |
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