New Convert.  Please help!

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New Convert.  Please help!
Anonymous
11/27/01 at 10:50:36
I have recently converted to Islam.  I have been studying for
a couple of years now and felt like it was time.  Now I am feeling
unsure.  Like maybe I should have waited.  I love Islam and I want to serve
Allah properly, but I feel like I am doing everything wrong.  I guess I
studied so much of the beliefs and not the practices.  I have yet to
learn how to pray and I am just having a hard time with everything.  I
want to be a good Muslim, but now I feel like I am not.  I also am
feeling like I am not living up to the standards that the Muslim people I
know have set for me.  I am confused about true requirements versus
cultural requirements.  I keep hearing different things from different
people.  Learning Arabic so that I can say my prayers has been close to
impossible.  Does anyone have any tips on easy ways to go about learning the
prayers?  Also, I am fasting and I thought that there was something
that you must say before opening your fast at night.  Is there?  If so,
what is it?  The hardest thing is interacting with other Muslims.  They
say things to me that I don’t understand and then give me weird looks
when they realize that I have no idea what they are talking about.  Now
that I have converted I have almost completely pulled my self away from
all the Muslim people I know because I feel like I am being judged on
everything I say and do differently.  I feel really alone in all of
this.  I don’t have anyone that I feel I am able to openly talk about all
of this.  If anyone can give me some advice, it would be greatly
appreciated.  Thank you.    
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
Anik
11/27/01 at 11:40:12
brother/sister,

asalaamu alaikum,

first of all- i know how you feel cause i felt the same way...

don't worry

one tip to help learn your surah Al-Fatihah and other things is to put a tune to it- kind of like a rythym to help you remember, or a beat... try listening to recitation and learn off of that

and don't worry :)

you don't have to get everything perfect right away,

remember Islam is not some cult where someone will be watching you to make sure you conform-

guard your heart first and foremost and be a muslim on the inside

you'll learn all of the confusing things people say in time Insha'Allah :)

when you pray, till you get it right you cn just make the motions and so on and try your best to recite the verbal part- start fatsing as well!

Always repeat the shahada- La Illaha illAllah, Muhammadur Rasool Allah

There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is His messenger.

email me anytime if your a brother and i will be privelaged to help you Insha'Allah. misra_g@yahoo.com. If you are a sister, there will be other sisters who can help you. asalaamu alaikum. abdullah,.
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
*sofia*
11/27/01 at 13:09:20
Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,
Sooo happy for you, too!  And again, excellent advice, Bro Anik.
If you're a sister, please feel free to contact me (click on "send message" at the bottom of this message, and send me your e-mail if you want, I'll get back to you as soon as I can.  Like I mentioned in another post, seems a lot of us may be busier than usual during Ramadaan, but we'll do our best, insha'Allah!).

Re: New Convert.  Please help!
amal
11/27/01 at 14:25:53
slm,

Sis anon, first of all congratulations on your return to the true path, the straight path that leads to eternal bliss and contentment, insha'Allah.

Allah(swt) has guided you to see the light after darkness.Always remember that, don't feel disheartened by some people's lack of consideration, it usually comes from ignorance and arrogance...a deadly combination in my opinion.

Always have faith in Allah(swt), as He guided you so far, He will continue to do so as long as you are willing to receive His guidance. Make dua' and try to get some basic understanding of Islam. Right now you should only concentrate on the obligatory acts
(i.e the five pillars of islam). Obviously prayer is the most important one and here's a good place to start:

http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/fundamentals/pillars/prayer/albaani/prayer_1.html

It's a book by shaikh Al-Albani in which he describes the prophet's(pbuh) prayer.

Also some good sites to look at is www.convertstoislam.org and www.undestanding-islam.com

A final word, islam is a life long struggle for self-improvement, you cannot do it overnight.Don't overload yourself, instead strive for small but sustainable good deeds that you can add on over time. No one is perfect, we all have our shortcomings to work on.

Please send me a message for any questions that you may have or you can post them on the board to have a broader perspective.

Welcome to Madinat Al-Muslimeen, may your stay be both informative and enjoyable :)

Re: New Convert.  Please help!
NinthMuharram
11/27/01 at 16:38:38
Assalamualaikum,

Alhamdulillah on accepting Islam as your way of life . :-)

On the day you start studying islam, is the day Allah has blessed you with the Nuur(Light) of hidayah . I'm not sure how to explain hidayah.

Tradition Vs true Requirements. Everytime you are unsure, pls do post it here. InsyaAllah the brothers and sisters  here will help you. Never feel as if your question is too stupid. Just ask. Remember, we love you very much as a sister/brother in the Ummah. And you can always email any of the brother/sister here.

Don't worry abt doing it wrong. Learn, then practise. InsyaAllah, you'll do great. What does muslim mean? Being a better person than yesterday. You don't need to live up by any other Muslim's expectation, only Allah's expectation. To learn Arabic, of course the ideal way is to learn from an Imam/ustaz in a conducive manner. But if you are restricted, you can always turn to technology :- websites,phones, video conferencing, audio conferencing.

My du'a is with you. InsyaAllah you will be among those who enter the Jannah.

Wassalam
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
BroHanif
11/27/01 at 18:45:04
Masha-Allah brother Anoynmous may Allah accept your deen and everyone elses.

Don't worry about learning everything, as long as you are striving to learn thats the main thing. I know people up to the age of 60 who have been muslims and they don't know how to pray the quran, so we are all learning constantly.

Try and find muslims who will appreciate your learning and coming into the deen, maybe its hard where you are right now, but believe me bro there are muslims out there who will help you.

If you feel lonely you can always register here and who knows there might be a brother living near by who can help you in your path to deen.

If you wanna email me, check out my profile. May Allah guide you,me and everyone towards success.

Salaams

Hanif
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
bhaloo
11/28/01 at 02:14:21
slm

Alhumdullilah I am happy to hear of your conversion.

We have so many wonderful brothers and sisters here that are here to help you, many have experienced and gone through the same things you are experiencing.  I'm sure you will find many people here that will be your friend and help you, feel free to join the board as a regular user. :)

Regarding prayers, from Sheikh Munajid:
If you have not yet learned the manner and characteristics of performing the prayer (i.e. at least the movements and positions), appended to this message is a description from which you can learn.  What is requried from you for the time being is to say in the beginning of the prayer and between each movement between positions "Allaahu ak-bar" (a glorification of Allaah).  While standing, bowing, prostrating, and sitting, you should say "subhaan allaah wal-hamdu lillaah wa-laa ilaaha illallaahu wallaahu akbar."  (Glory be to Allaah, and praise and thanks be to Allaah, and there is no god but Allaah, and Allaah is the most Exalted and Great.)  Then conclude the prayer by turning your head to the right then left, each time saying "as-salaamu alaikum."
This way of performing salaat is permissible for you until you can learn and memorize what should be said in each movement and position of the salaat.
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
eleanor
11/28/01 at 14:33:08
slm

Welcome to Islam :)

I understand everything you're going through, because like Brother Abdullah (Anik), I've been there too.
I printed out the prayers from the Internet and actually sat down and memorised about half of them. Then I learned the movements and put the page on the ground beside me. For a while I had to read the last part of the prayer off the page..it just wouldn't sink it, but finally Alhamdulillah, it became like concrete in my head. Then you get a feeling like when you've learned how to drive, or how to ride a bike. You'll never forget the words, Insha Allah, once you have learned them.
Register here on the board for more contact with Muslims, with us. We care about you and won't judge you on anything. We'll help you with any difficulty you may have. If you tell us if you're a brother or a sister and where you are living, maybe  we can get you in touch with someone in your area.
I asked about the dua before breaking the fast too and I got the response that there is nothing specific. I read on the Internet you should say something to the tune of "I break my fast in the name of Allah." Bismillah.

Just give it time, Insha Allah, you'll be fine.

wasalaam
eleanor
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
humble_muslim
11/28/01 at 15:06:12
AA

Welcome to Islam!  Now that you are a muslim, know that we all love you for the sake of Allah.  If you have any questions, we are all here to help you.  Feel free to e-mail me personally if I can be of any assistance.

At the moment, just concnetrate on getting the prayers done. Don't woory about getting everything under the sun done perfectly.

Dua at the time of breaking fast :

Allahumma Inni Laka Sumto Wa ala rizqarka aftarto

O Allah, I have fasted for you and have broken the fast by your sustenance.

(I know there are a few versions of this dua, but this is the easiest).

Also, one should say Bismillah (in the name of Allah) any time you eat or drink.
NS
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
Anonymous
11/28/01 at 21:55:45
Thank you all so much for replying.  You have all been
comforting.  This entire message board has been a wonderful resource.  I have
two more questions:  
Is this a Sunni or Shi'a board or is it a mix?
Where can I find out about happy and sad days?  I know that there are
some days when you should wear black to the Mosque and some days when
you should wear happy colors.  Is there a calendar or anything like that?
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
momineqbal
11/29/01 at 00:09:40
[slm],

Welcome to the fold of Islam. This is a link that could partly explain inshaAllah. Some of the viewpoints that members of this community share:
[url=http://www.islamtoday.com/whichgroups.htm]Which Group[/url].

Wassalam
Eqbal
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
bhaloo
11/29/01 at 01:41:15
slm

Happy or sad days?  I haven't heard about those at all.  That's really strange.
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
NinthMuharram
11/29/01 at 08:17:36
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim . May Allah guide my mind when posting in this thread. May what I typed here would benefit my bros/sis and myself.

Bro/Sis Anon,

Before I started using internet abd being online, I am just a simple young girl, growing up a typical teenage life, in my country which Alhamdulillah the official religion is Islam. I am surrounded by Muslims. I was born into a Muslim family. Once I started going online, my first visit was to a Islam chat room. There I was, typing, giving my opinions and what i've learnt from my ustaz/ustazah since the day I could read Qu'ran (abt 5 yrs old) until now. Then I got the most stunning questions :
Them :What type of Muslim are you?
Me : Huh? <blur>
Them : Well, are you Sunni/Shiah/others?
Me : Huh? < double blur> I am just a Muslim.Plain and simple as that.
Them : Well you must not be a good Muslim or not a Muslim at all. You're here just to deceive us
Me : Huh? <Triple blur> I just quoted the Qu'ran and Hadith. What more do you want????

I ran to my friends and told them abt this. Most of them were studying overseas at that time , America,Egypt etc.  And they laughed at me. That's the typical reaction that they went through went they go oversea. They mix with other Muslims... so they explain me abt the reason why "THEM" asked me those questions (I don't wanna eleborate on that. I'm sure jannah.org has articles abt the differences and backgroud of it all, the school of thoughts, mazhab etc) .

I better focus before I get distracted!!!! So Bro/Sis Anon, as far as I know, there's no such thing as happy day or sad day. No such thing at all! And I'm sure of that. If I am wrong, bro and sis of this board pls do correct me.

Regarding the calendar. Don't mistaken it with the fact that there are selected months that the believers/non beleievers in the Prophet Era refrain from having war ( war being connected to unhappiness). One of it is Muharram ;) refer to my nick ;) . There are 4 months that war is prohibited and Muharram being one of it (I'll get back to ya all later on the other 3 months). I know in my culture and tradition, there are ppl who still beleieve that there are certain months that'll be bad luck. So you can't get married or start business in those months.And  they have some kind of festival where they cook food and present it to the "Spirit" or whatever. Don't ask me abt that. I know the ppl used to do that. Not anymore though, Alhamdulillah. The Islamic Dept is very strict nowadays.

I am assuming also that you are relating this happy/sad days with the mourning period of the Karbala Tragedy according to the Shia cultures/practises which also happens to be in Muharram (gee.. Muharram again ;)  )  But I will not elaborate on this since I have little knowledge of this.

So ermm the typical madinah community equation

Tragedy Happens = Sad Days/Month = Dress Down ?????
Nothing happen  = Happy Days/Month = Dress up ????

Ermm.. bad idea abt the equation. And again, I stress there's no such thing. Anyone else heard abt this? Do correct me if I am wrong.

Wassalam.

May Allah forgives and guide me if I were wrong. Ameen.

Re: New Convert.  Please help!
Yasin
11/29/01 at 14:01:29
  bsm


slm


  WELCOME TO the ISLAM...THE WAY OF LIFE..

i like to tell you a good site to learn QURAN and to listen  it's recitation ..click
[url=http://www.orst.edu/groups/msa/quran/reciter/prog/huffaz_e.html]here[/url]

Your brother in ISLAM

 wlm
     
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
Saleema
11/29/01 at 23:50:42
[slm]

I will leave the questions asked by Anon to the Administrators.

I have a story to tell. When i was in 6th grade another muslim asked me what type of muslims i was. And i said, "well, i try to be good." and she's like, "no, no..what *type* of muslim are you?" I replied, "I don't understand what you mean. Sometimes I do bad things but I try to be a good muslim." Exasperated she says, "Sunni or shia? what are you?" Now, i didn't know I was sunni. I knew I was Muslim. I said I would have to ask my mom on that. She looked at me weird. So I asked my mom and she said that we were Sunni.
That's when I learned the difference
[wlm]
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
Anik
11/30/01 at 00:51:09
asalaamu alaikum,

when people ask me, I say

muslim

now many ppl see that as a *shia* answer,

but Allhumdulillah I do not want to cause separation just for talk even though I am a Sunni muslim. asalaamu alaikum. abdullah,.
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
BrKhalid
11/30/01 at 05:09:16
Asalaamu Alaikum ;-)


[quote]There are 4 months that war is prohibited and Muharram being one of it (I'll get back to ya all later on the other 3 months)[/quote]


Dhul-Qa'dah, Dhul-Hijjah, Muharram and Rajab


[quote]So ermm the typical madinah community equation


Tragedy Happens = Sad Days/Month = Dress Down ???
Nothing happen  = Happy Days/Month = Dress up ??? [/quote]


The great thing about these equations is that you can rearrange them all over the place:

Dress down = Sad Day = Tragedy Happens

[Better watch out what you wear today then]

Happy month = Dress up = Nothing happens

[If nothing happens, how can it be a happy month???]


Alternatively you can make up ones like:

Sis Barr + Sis Solehah + Sis Ninth Muharram = ???  ;)


Anyway, Anonymous by all means sign up and join in the discussions.

My apologies in advance if you can't stand Math ;-)
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
NinthMuharram
11/30/01 at 08:23:08
Sis Barr + Sis Solehah + Sis Ninth Muharram = Total Destruction!! Their government and my government would have to be really scared if 3 of us combined forces ;)

I flunk my A Level math, so I'm not good with any equations. But do make du'a for me since I plan to go back to get my 'paper qualification'. Then maybe I'll start my Equation Theory here ;)


Re: New Convert.  Please help!
Anonymous
11/30/01 at 12:07:55
Thank you for the answers to the Sunni/Shi'a question.  Since
I began studying Islam I have talked to people from both sects and they
always have something to say about the other one.  I have read about
the differences because I thought that I had to choose one or the other.  
I understand how the seperation happened, but after that the
differences don't seem too big.  Just recently I have spoken with a lot of people
who told me not to worry about being Sunni or Shi'a, just be a Muslim.  
That feels a lot better.  So it was good to hear that a lot of you
share kind of the same view.
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
solehah
12/01/01 at 00:54:28
Salaam
[quote]
Sis Barr + Sis Solehah + Sis Ninth Muharram = ???  ;)
[/quote]

Are vah vah vah....u sneaked in when I wasn't looking LOL.  Now how on earth did I get into this equation ? lol


BrKhalid + BrArsalan + Meraj = ?

Heh heh
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
Arsalan
12/01/01 at 02:50:40
[quote]BrKhalid + BrArsalan + Meraj = ?[/quote]
Huh??

Hmm ...

How about ...

BrKhalid + BrArsalan + Meraj = (1/2) * (male moderator crew of Madinat al-Muslimeen) ;-D

P.S. Why did the abbreviation "Br" not preceed Meraj's name?  Just wondering :)
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
meraj
12/01/01 at 08:27:09
slm,

[quote]BrKhalid + BrArsalan + Meraj = ?[/quote]

umm ok lets see... (takes out calculator) ;-D

how did i get into an equation? :D
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
solehah
12/01/01 at 09:52:52
Salaam

[quote]BrKhalid + BrArsalan + Meraj = (1/2) * (male moderator crew of Madinat al-Muslimeen) ;-D

P.S. Why did the abbreviation "Br" not preceed Meraj's name?  Just wondering :)[/quote]

Nope nope nope..I have a better sum :-)

Wanna know what it is ??? He he but its better than your answer :p

As for the second question, Meraj's posts are always accompanied by a cheeky green headed monster so I dunno whether I should put a Br before his name lolol
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
solehah
12/01/01 at 09:59:42
Salaam

[quote]umm ok lets see... (takes out calculator) ;-D
[/quote]

Tsk typical males, always thinking that problems can be solved laterally ;-D

Okay just becos you always have a nice smile for everyone I shall tell you the secret of the equation.

BrKhalid + BrArsalan + Meraj = A goateed slam dunking basketball player who falls into holes while dribbling a wagon. He he he....

Ok ok so its corny....after tarawih prayers I am usually so sleeeppppyyyyy :-)

Wassalam
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
solehah
12/01/01 at 10:02:14
Hey...why does it show that my posts are still 85 for the last 4 posts ? Hmm...I'll never be a geek :-(
Re: New Convert.  Please help!
solehah
12/14/01 at 10:36:49
Without scrolling backwards I forgot what the original thread was lol


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